Fate/Grand Order story · Events, Johanna and the Unidentified Love:: Smash 'em Up☆Love, Lovers, and the Great Stone Statue
Section 6: Fourth Chain: The Clown Monster Pierces the Void
Johanna and the Unidentified Love:: Smash 'em Up☆Love, Lovers, and the Great Stone Statue. Chaldea Gate
2 scenes, 168 lines
1. Before the battle
132 linesGood morning, Master! No, not just good! It's a beautiful morning!
(Yawwwn...) So sleepy...
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Oh, right. I kept you up late, didn't I? I'm sorry.
Would you like to sleep a little longer?
No, that's okay. I'll get up.
You know, I think I will...
Oh, good morning, Master. You look well.
Hohoho, glad to hear it! Few things are more important than our Master's good health, after all.
Morning, Mephistopheles.
？！
Good morning.
It is I, your quick and decisive, cutting-edge equipment, one bird with two stones, Mephistopheles!
Isn't that last bit supposed to be "two birds, one stone"?
Alas, I believe felling two birds is a bit beyond my reach.
As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about, Mephisto.
Don't pay him any mind, Jeanne. He just says whatever pops into his head...which I really enjoy about him!
Oh yes, I have some freshly baked bread with butter here. Please, have some.
Oh wow, this is good.
Mmm. It really is.
Isn't it? Not that I can take credit; all I did was spread the butter!
...(Gasp of realization)
I can't believe I almost forgot to ask. Um... Mephistopheles?
Yes?
What are you doing here?
Earlier, he...um...came up and introduced himself so casually, as though he'd just moved in next door. And then Nursery...
Then why not come inside and join us for breakfast? Master should be up shortly.
...And now, here we are.
Of course, we also sat down to eat with the Lady Marthas and Lord Bhīma, so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised at this point!
Yes, exactly. This is all perfectly normal.
Anyway, I don't think I've ever met someone as hard to read as he is!
Well, I am a big fan of eel.
You don't say! ...Wait, eel?
I, too, am good at slipping into unexpected places. Oh, I also enjoy it.
Whoa...
I told you Jeanne, don't take him too seriously. He just says whatever pops into his head, remember?
Whoops, looks like the jig is up!
You mean, you lied to me!?
Haven't you ever heard "thou shalt not lie," Mephistopheles?
Don't blame me. Baron Munchausen always said that lies, hyperbole, and tall tales are just an integral part of idle chatter.
Not that I heard it from the horse's mouth!
Ugh! He's so all over the place I can hardly stand it!
Then please, go right ahead.
Sleep well, Master. Sweet dreams.
Wake up... Please wake up...
(Is that Johanna?)
Yes, it is. Please wake up, my Master...
(Is that Mash?)
It sure is. So please wake up now.
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!?
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Goood morning! It's me! Mephistopheles!
Oh? Is something the matter, Master? You look like a boy frozen in shock!
Well, can you blame him, waking up to a chalk white clown face hovering over him?
I mean, that sounds like waking up from a nightmare only to find yourself in another nightmare.
Aww.
Clowns these days are both scary and funny at the same time.
Though I do think your powers lean more towards the scary side, Uncle Mephy.
Why's that? What's scary about moving bombs?
How is that even a question?
Well, I'll be!
Can you all give me some privacy while I get dressed now, please?
Yes, Master.
Now then, allow me to introduce myself properly!
I am the fourth guardian sworn to protect the Lovey-Dovey Heart Johanna Statue!
The fourth guardian...!
I am an Innocent Monster, accused of crimes I never committed!
Am I a fictional character? Did I actually exist? Do I even understand myself?
Who knows!? Wait. DO I actually exist? Am I just a figment of a dream?
No, no, I must have existed. How else could Goethe have gotten his inspiration?
Anyway, that's me.
I don't expect to be sticking around very long, seeing as we're about to do battle...
...but I'm happy to be here in the meantime! Woohoo!
U-um... May I ask you something, Mephistopheles?
By all means. What is it, Ms. Tizzet?
Has it ever been painful dealing with...you know?
With what?
Well...with being, you know, fictional? With having a fictional life?
That sort of thing.
I mean, it sounds like you did have a proper life, so
Oh no. I was born a homunculus, so I definitely didn't have a real life, just like you.
Oh, I see. Then I'm even more curious as to your answer.
... ...
Of course it's been painful!
It has!?
Oh, for my past self, I suppose it was, yes. But that's my PAST self! I couldn't care less now!
Huh!?
After all...
...nothing of value's going to come from an empty box no matter how many times you poke it.
And that means that what reeeally matters is that we explode right now, in this very moment!
So keep your chin up! Stay positive! See things in a new light!
Once you blow a thing or two away, all your worries will be gone with the debris!
Let's keep it to metaphorical blowing away.
I see... So blowing away something will make these concerns go away...
Please don't go down that path, Johanna! Nothing good lies there! Come on now! Deep breaths!
G-good point. (Inhale...) (Exhale...)
...But then again, if I really could blow my concerns away...
Please don't do anything rash, Your Holiness.
I understand where he's coming from...
...but the idea of blowing my concerns away is just much too tempting for me right now.
What if I blew away the empty boxes, the suitcase...everything?
What if I really could see things in a new light?
I look up at that absurdly oversized statue looming over us.
I'm sure the people of this town feel very, very lucky to have it.
Aside from the name, it's perfect. Then again, maybe it's not...
Still, I feel justified in destroying it. And not just because doing so will erase the Singularity.
...No, it's not just that.
Oh? Do my eyes deceive me, or are we a little more fired up now?
Yes, maybe I am. I feel like I've finally grabbed hold of something.
Maybe this is wrong. Maybe Lord Bhīma will be disappointed with it.
But I don't care who it disappoints, or who it may upset.
The only person I truly don't want to disappoint anymore...is myself.
I don't want to be disappointed in myself. I don't want to disavow my own actions.
...All right. Since I also don't want to keep Lord Bhīma waiting any longer...
...I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut you down quick, Lord Mephistopheles!
Oho, it seems I've woken a sleeping lion... No, maybe you're more of a sleeping chimera?
Lion will do, thank you very much. Now, here I come!
Got it, got it, reading you loud and clear. Then here, have a clown bomb, on the house!
...I see these bombs are chocolate-colored.
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That's because I decided to prepare chocolate bombs for Valentine's Day!
Do be careful: their explosions can both heal and hurt you!
2. After the battle
36 linesI lost! I lost! I well and truly lost!
All right, Johanna. Allow me to present you with a magical spell! (*Disclaimer: Not actually magic)
Are you ready?
I am! Hit me!
Good luck, Johanna!
Th-thank you! I'll do my best!
Lovey-Dovey Heart Johanna♪
Let's gooo!
The suitcase is still full of empty space. And I still have far too few boxes that are truly precious.
...But that's okay.
That's okay. Of course the suitcase wasn't going to get heavier by throwing in worthless, empty boxes to make it seem full.
In the end, what really matters is this very moment.
What matters is that I'm alive. Well, as much as a Servant can be, anyway.
Still, that doesn't change the fact that I'm living for the first time.
There aren't many things I can say I know for certain...but I'll keep filling this empty suitcase with memories, one at a time.
So...it's okay.
I nod, and go to close the suitcase for the time being, a beaming smile on my face...
Yes, that's the right choice. But you're still forgetting one important thing.
I turn around in surprise upon hearing the kind, elderly voice.
Are you awake now?
Yes, I am.
It looked like there was a new mystery right there at the end, but I'm not going to worry about it for now.
Right now, I need to tell Lord Bhīma my reason for why the statue needs to be destroyed.
It's actually quite obvious when you think about it.
Are you ready, Johanna?
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Oh, I'll call him for you then. Beep boop beep boop.
Ring, ring... Ring, ring...
Yes, hello? I'd like to order one ancient warrior to go, please!
Uh, cash on delivery, please. Uh-huh... Uh-huh... You say he'll get here tomorrow? Got it.
Click.
There you have it, everyone. You'll need to wait another day for Lord Bhīma to arrive.
...Guess we may as well go back to the inn and wait until tomorrow then.
Aww, and I was ready to go, too!