Prologue: To the Oni Tower

So! Here's what we know about this latest incident.

Recently, a mysterious horned duo were seen using a combination of liquor and crocodile tears to scam the staff into secretly Rayshifting them somewhere.

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I agree. This has Shuten and Ibaraki written all over it...

Sure, we don't exactly need Holmes's help to figure out the culprits this time, but that's not the real issue.

The REAL issue is the strange signal we've been picking up from the little Japanese village they Rayshifted to.

After a bit of research, we've figured out that it's yet another minute Singularity.

I'm guessing they Rayshifted there after they caught wind of some treasure to be found.

Couple of slick operators, those twoespecially that Shuten-Douji. I could easily see them digging up, say, a Holy Grail.

Indeed. There's a lot of variation to be found even among Holy Grails...

It is possible one could end up with a grail due to the space-time distortion created by the incineration and restoration of humanity.

Right you are, Mash.

This is no time to be admiring their skills as thieves, Senpai!

That said, it doesn't look like this is a full-blown Holy Grail.

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We did get a reading that looked like a Holy Grail for just a moment, but it turned out to be more like a pile of Holy Grail fragments.

Still, it's a fairly big pile, with a lot of pure magical energy to it. I imagine that's what Shuten-Douji and Ibaraki-Douji are looking to get their hands on.

Can you tell us what exactly's going on in that area, Acting Commander Da Vinci?

If Shuten and Ibaraki are involved, does that mean there's an alcoholic fog hanging over the place, like there was during Rashomon?

Well our readings sure resemble the Rashomon mess, but things are a little different this time.

Here, we're dealing with a tower.

It's odd. The thing appeared out of nowhere and we're not sure what it's for.

It's not just any old tower. The height and shape of the thing shouldn't be possible from a structural standpoint.

You'll know what I mean when you see it for yourselves.

At any rate, I have no idea what they're planning, but we can't risk this turning into another Singularity.

Fujimaru, I need you to Rayshift there yourself and handle this before that happens.

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That's what I like to hear.

Of course, you won't be going alone.

Given this particular location, I thought it'd be best if a Japanese Servant well-acquainted with its climate and culture went along with you.

Fortunately, I already found one killing time in the rec room. Come on in!

...Your choice of words is a bit misleading. I was not "killing time."

I was quite busy sneaking up on cowardly snipers and knifing them in their backs...

...before they had a chance to shoot me from their little spawn camping positions.

Truly, there are few things I enjoy more than killing spawn campers.

As you can see, she's, uh, gotten REALLY into first person shooters.

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...Not to worry, Master.

These games of the video are not my only means of entertaining myself.

I have also been availing myself of that room's analog offerings.

I speak, of course, of the games where two players take turns commanding pieces on a wooden battlefield.

Shogi, chess, backgammon, Spehss Mehreens 41,000...

Every one of these has proven to be an invaluable tool for sharpening my command of military tactics.

Hahaha. Can we get back on topic now?

Oh, of course. My apologies. I got a little carried away. Ahem.

...Tell me Master, Lady Da Vinci. How may I be of service?

I see. So that is what those two are up to...

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...Only by name and face.

So you haven't talked to them much?

No, I have not.

They are onivile creatures that, by their very nature, exist only to harm and feast on humans.

However, these oni are also Servants, and each serves the same Master as I. I therefore must trust them.

...But be that as it may, I'm afraid I have not yet had occasion to meet them properly.

...

Still, that is of little consequence now.

If you will have me, I would be happy to join you in investigating this strange oni tower.

Oh, I almost forgot. In addition to you being Fujimaru's primary Servant...

...I'd also like you to lead the other Servants who will be accompanying you. Can you do that?

As you wish.

However, I feel compelled to ask... Much as I am honored to be appointed general for this mission, I wonder how it is you came to choose me?

Surely there is a Japanese general of far greater skill and fame than I residing here in Chaldea?

Yeah, I...uh...I know who you're talking about, but sending her after these two would not end at all well.

A peaceful resolution would be pretty much out of the question with her in charge.

So I thought that since you're not a BerserI mean, since you have a good head on your shoulders, you'd be a good choice to lead this mission.

Hmm. I cannot say I fully understand your reasoning, but if I am the one most suitable for this mission, I am happy to accept.

However... If it is not too forward of me, there is one thing I would like to ask of you, Master.

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This will be my first mission since I was summoned to Chaldea. As such, I cannot afford to fail.

Even as we speak, I have been steeling myself with even greater resolve than usual.

Therefore, if you do not mind...I would ask to be given an official title for this operation. A "call sign," I believe, is the term.

After all, a special name gives one a special sense of purpose.

...Hm? What would I like it to be? An excellent question...

Naturally, that would bethat is, I will be happy with anything you decide, Master!

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Yes! That's perfect!

Isn't it a little on the nose!?

Indeed, it describes my position exactly. It could not be more perfect.

As far as I am concerned, too obvious is just right.

Now that I think of it, my beloved also had a wonderful second name that

Ahem. At any rate, I am proud to accept the name you have bestowed upon me, Master. I cannot wait to begin!

I am General Setsubun, and I have been charged with a critical task! I shall see the plot of these oniwhatever it may befoiled!

And now, we gird ourselves for battle.

Our first order of business is to find this tower. Master, I shall lead the way while you

...

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We have visual on it here as well. It seems safe to assume that this is the tower in question.

Our observation results say it has...one hundred floors!?

So instead of a five-story pagoda, we have a hundred-story pagoda, huh.

Of course, there's no way they pulled this off with standard architectural engineering.

If they'd tried, it would've come crashing down well before the fiftieth floor.

Anyway, we're still analyzing it, but I'm pretty sure this tower is Shuten-Douji's Noble Phantasm, "Multicolored Poison - Shinpen Kidoku."

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Mmm. I had a feeling you'd say that. But I'm afraid that's the only way to explain it.

After comparing our data from examining the tower to Chaldea's database...

According to our observational data, Shuten-Douji's Noble Phantasm was the one it had the most in common with.

But how can that be? That is clearly a tower, not wine.

Exactly. That's the biggest head-scratcher here. But once you figure that out, all the other pieces fall into place.

Looking at what things are like there, I'm guessing Shuten-Douji combined the magical energy source with her Noble Phantasm to build this tower.

Well well, you figured it out already? I'm impressed.

You got it in one. I made this hundred-story pagoda with my Shinpen Kidoku. I call it the Oni Pagoda.

Shuten-Douji!

Whoa, how are you communicating with us? Are you actually projecting your image through an alcoholic fog? I've never seen that before!

Hahahaha, how do you like that? Anything you lot can do, we can do better!

But don't ask me how it works. I don't have a clue!

I call it FogTime, designed by Shuten in the Oni Pagoda!

It has been so very Shuten since its debut that people have been peeing their pants. Leave your belongings behind, and we'll let you escape with your lives!

Easy, Ibaraki. Slow down. You can't reveal everything right at the start.

The Oni Pagoda... So that is this tower's name?

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You want to know why? I'm sure you'll be able to figure that out if you make it to the top.

This probably goes without saying, but that's where you'll find us, too.

...Don't get lost on the way here, all right, sweetie?

That explains nothing, Shuten-Douji.

Now that Master has given me the role of General Setsubun, I wish to know the ultimate goal of your scheme.

If you would rather not tell me, then no matter.

...Heh. Is that so?

I had a feeling you'd be showing up. Interesting title you've got there, too.

Now that you mention it, it IS that time of year, isn't it?

What time of year?

Setsubun, of course. That's as good a reason as any for me to have built this tower.

What nonsense is this? Are you oni completely unaware of logic and the natural order of things?

When two armies are about to engage in combat, it is incumbent upon them to face one another...

...and declare their reasons for going into battle! Have you no decency at all!?

There is no point in explaining the rules of warfare to an insect, General. The only way to handle such a creature is to squash them, like this.

Lady...Minamoto-no-Raikou!

Of course I am♡

...But now I've said that, I can't help but notice...

...that what you said gives the distinct impression that you wish I was not here...

I do so hope I am mistaken... You don't want to make Mother cry again, do you...?

...Oh? Why do you look so terrified?

It's me, your Raikou. The dependable oni exterminator. The warrior as devoted to you as a mother is to her children.

So please relax. You have nothing to worry about.

All you need to do is give me the order to eradicate those insects. Go on.

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Yup, there it is. She's going full Kishimojin right out of the gate.

Sorry about this. I DID manage to convince her not to lead this expedition...

...but I couldn't come up with a good reason for her to not join the rest of the Servants accompanying you.

Right... Plus, she IS a tremendous asset in combat...

So you're here too, huh. I couldn't care less about you myself, but if there's one thing my tower doesn't need, it's a woman who's too uptight to have fun.

I always knew you to be an insect lurking in Chaldea's shadow, but I believed you might still serve a purpose, even if only as a pawn to sacrifice.

But if you have begun to wreak havoc outside Chaldea's walls, then you leave me no choice. No choice at all.

I will execute you swiftly and mercilessly.

Teehee, I always wondered when you would show your true colors. Now, at last, my patience has been rewarded...

Ahem. I mean...

You think I rejoice at the thought that I finally have a proper reason to rid myself of an irritating bug? N-nothing could be further from the truth.

Putting her aside for now, let me just tell you this.

This hundred-story Oni Pagoda here is...well, wine. It might be a giant tower, but it's still wine at its heart.

...What do you mean by that?

It doesn't matter how well you can hold your liquor, sweetie. Drink enough wine, and anyone'll get drunk.

So you miiight find yourself getting a little tipsy each time you reach a new floor.

Come up! Enjoy yourselves along the way! And don't forget to play with the other oni while you're at it.

Other oni!? You mean...there are oni in this tower besides the two of you?

...Teehee. Hope you're in the mood for some Setsubun fun.

It's not healthy for anyone to be stuck inside all the time. So why don't you all come on up and join me for some fun times...?

Fufu...fufufufu...

Ooh, are you doing the fadeaway laugh thing? I wanna do it too!

I've so GOT this! As a terrifying oni leader, I have never neglected to practice my haughty laugh!

Here goes! Mwaha, mwahaha, MWAHAHAHA (Blip)

... I see those two haven't changed a bit.

Still, I AM curious about what she told us. Namely, that you will become intoxicated with every floor you ascend, and that there may be other oni present as well...

You mustn't take bugs at their word, Mash. You would be a perfect little girl if only you weren't always so serious.

Shinpen Kidoku originally belonged to me. Rest assured, we have nothing to fear from this tower.

Furthermore...following a path oni have laid out for us is out of the question.

There is no telling what sort of nasty traps they may have put in place. We must be smart about this.

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Meaning I will just scale the tower and kill them myself right now, okay?

L-Lady Raikou!? Please, wait!

You are being a bit hasty! We should wait for Master's orders!

Damn, is she really planning on running straight up all one hundred floors?

So much for being smart about this. She's going full Berserker today, huh.

Oh my, look how far up she has already gone! There's no stopping her!

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...?

Ugh...

L-Lady Raikou!

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I'll run a medical checkup on her right away! ...Hm? What's this...?

Her Spirit Core hasn't been damaged directly, but...

...it's as though her magical energy is...running low? Like it's stagnating somehow...?

Basically, she seems to be suffering from extreme exhaustion.

You again!?

Hehe, you know oni. Just when you think we're gone, we pop right back up.

I forgot to mention something. There's no waaay I was ever going to let you climb up the outside of this tower after all the trouble I went to make it.

That's why I set it up so that climbing or flying up to the top will get you REEEALLY tipsy!

So make sure you come up one floor at a time niiice and proper now, you hear?

Hmm. So this is your idea of "tipsy," huh.

Getting light-headed, losing your sense of balance... Sounds more like "completely smashed" to me.

Sorry I couldn't make it the fun kind of tipsy. These things happen when you go and turn wine into a tower.

But don't worry. It's not so bad as long as you make your way up the inside.

Sure it might wear you out a bit, but you'll probably be fine as long as you rest up and take turns along the way.

Okay then, we'll be taking it niiice and easy on the top, waiting for you to show up...

So it looks like Raikou's current state is a result of her breaking the rule not to climb the outer walls.

What's more, it looks like there is no way to completely avoid this exhaustion, even inside the tower.

Hmm. And we won't be able to determine exactly HOW intoxicated or exhausted you'll get in there until you actually start climbing.

So if you want to clear this tower as quickly as possible, you'll probably need to switch out your tired fighters for fresh ones as you go along.

If worse comes to worst, we might even need to draw on Chaldea's entire Servant pool.

(Sigh) Wine... Why did it have to be wine?

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...N-no, of course not. I will simply do the best I can under the circumstances.

Now, Master, let us begin! This will be our magnificent first step towards conquering this oni tower!

My spirits are high, and my preparations are complete. There is nothing to worry about whatsoever.

I shall lead by example, thus demonstrating to all who follow that General Setsubun is here!

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Thank you for your kind words, Master. I must confess, I get intoxicated at the faintest whiff of alcohol...

...but I am reasonably certain I can manage as long as I keep my spirits up!

I'm suddenly feeling much less reassured about this magnificent first step!