Revolt! There's No Way My Older Sister Is A Man!

The Chaldea army has finished setting up camp in the crane formation.

The Real-Deal Nobunaga of Owari is headed this way with an army, just like the Mini Nobu Ninja Army's intel said.

Good. Then let's see what this so-called Real-Deal Nobunaga can do.

Besides, I'm getting tired of being a lowly infantrywoman. Who knows? Maybe I'll just take over this province and strike out on my own!

Really? Does that mean if I play my cards right here, I could wind up back on top of the whole Chaldea clan?

That's an almost dangerously ambitious goal, Nobunaga. Such impertinence won't reflect well on your performance review this quarter.

Huh? You heard that? C-come on, I was just kidding, okay? Please tell me you're kidding too?

I'm sorry, Nobunaga, but treason is the gravest crime you can commit against the Chaldea clan...even worse than stealing snacks.

I'm afraid we'll have to make an example of you and lop your head off for the public to see.

Please don't say that kind of stuff while you look so serious. I-it was just a little Nobbumor! That's short for Nobbu humor!

？！

All joking aside, given that you're originally from Owari, Nobunaga, this would seem to be an excellent chance to show us what you can do.

All right! I may just be an infantrywoman of the Chaldea clan, but I'm gonna do my very best!

Actually, now that I think of it, the lookouts said the alleged Real-Deal Nobunaga and army should be here any moment now, right?

Seriously, what are they thinking, claiming to be the real deal when I'm right here!?

It looks like they're here. So that's the Nobunaga of Owari...

So you're the Chaldea clan from Echigo with a false Nobunaga among your ranks? If nothing else, I must commend your audacity. How dare you use my name, miscreant?

You're one to talk, imposter. Everyone knows there's only one Oda Nobunaga, and you're looking at her.

It is my name that you use. Now die, regretting that final mistake.

Oho, so that's your claim, is it? Interesting...

Very well then, I will teach you what it truly means to be Nobunaga myself!

I-is that...!?

I-it can't be...!

I c-can't believe it!

Heh... I see you've been frightened speechless. As well you should be!

Indeed, I am none other than the genuine Oda Nobuna

？！

It's the real deal!!!???

Hahahahahahaha! When'd you get to be so low-resolution, Boss!?

I-I've seen his picture in history books too!

That's definitely the genuine, real-deal Oda Nobunaga!

Huh? THAT'S the real Nobunaga!? Then, we're the ones who've been working with an imposter all this time?

Wh-who're you calling an imposter!? I-I'll admit, his aura is practically identical to mine, but still...

Wait, I've got it! He's gotta be from one of those parallel worlds or something!

You know, one of those hypothetical "What if the Warring States were actually like their picture scrolls" dealies?

Wait, I've got it! He must be from one of those Lostbelt places!

He's just something that slipped in from some random hypothetical world! It's the only possible explanation!

I mean, there's no other way I'd ever appear so low-resolution!

Don't you think you're being a tad...dramatic? Why would you ever think I was a woman?

Th-that's a good point! The idea that Nobunaga was a woman is so absurd that I never stopped to think about it!

I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner! Now my name will forever be associated with this shameful mistake!

You're the last one I want to hear that from!

A-agreed! Let's fall back for now and get a better handle on the situation!

It does seem our soldiers are too shaken up to be of use, so I suppose that's our only option.

Everyone, fall back!

What!? Et tu, Fujimaru?

Dammit! All right, everyone fall back! Hey, God of War! You bring up the rear!

True, I guess that's our only option right now. Everyone, fall back!

？！

Hahahahaha! Now I know what it feels like to bust a gut from laughing so hard!

Hahahahaha! (Shrill voice)

You see! Just one look at the genuine article is enough to make the imposter turn tail!

Damn, that seriously freaked me out...

Hahahahaha! You know, that boss was pretty handsome when you get a good look at him!

So now what? Even putting that Nobunaga's appearance aside, his army didn't seem to have any major weaknesses.

True. Our reports say he's continuing to secure supply routes and employ standing armies as he makes his way here.

Man, it's like watching the me in history books come to life.

I know I'm best known for my surprise attack at Okehazama, but my real strength was always in making sure all my bases were covered.

Winning the battle before it starts. That kinda thing. And when I couldn't beat someone, it was a matter of just talking them up and waiting till they drop their guard!

So that's why you so obviously tried to butter me up in those letters you sent me.

Hey, that's another battle I won without actually having to fight, thanks to you croaking on the crapper!

You leave that out of this!

Hahahaha! Well done, everyone!

At this rate, it won't be long before we've gobbled up that so-called Demon King Nobunaga of the west, either.

I knew you'd come through, Lord Nobunaga! That other worthless daimyo never stood a chance against you!

Ah, if it isn't Nobukatsu. I'm surprised to see you alive.

Then again, given how rife this world is with people claiming to be me, I suppose it's not all that unusual.

Very well, I expect you to serve me much more faithfully this time.

I will, my lord! Now let's get our victory banquet started, shall we!?

Ahh, that hit the spot. There's nothing better than a fine wine after a fine victory!

Go on, Lord Nobunaga! Have a drink yourself!

Hahahahaha! Very well then, there will be no formalities between us tonight!

Mmm, delicious! Although, I'm still greatly perturbed at the audacity of that mere woman claiming to be me.

I'll make sure to kill her the next time we... Hm? Wha... Why can't...I move...?

...Mere woman?

N-Nobukatsu? You poisoned me!?

Come now, "Lord" Nobunaga. As if Sister would ever be a man.

B-but I saw you drink it too! ...Wait. Was it the cup...!?

I'd never have had to do what I did if Sister had been a man...

I-I was careless... Well done...using my soft spot for family...against me.

Sheesh, that was too easy. I can't believe he tried to pretend to be Sister when this was the best he could do.

Sister would never let down her guard long enough for me to kill her like this.

If she'd been this easygoing, we could have had a longer, much more peaceful life together.

...Anyway, I wonder what the next Sister will be like.

I hope this one will kill me as ruthlessly as I deserve! Ahahahaha!

I've got big news! The Real-Deal Nobunaga of Owari is dead!

Seriously!? Even though he was the real deal!? Then again, I guess it's already past when he died at Honnoji!

Yesss! (Fist pump)

It's not a true Nobunaga victory unless you win without fighting!

How did he die? Did he fall ill or something?

According to our report, it was an act of treason by one of his retainers...

Seriously? Betrayed by one of his own? Ugh, that's the worst.

Please tell me it wasn't Micchi?

Well, the one who's taken over in Real-Deal Nobunaga's stead is...

I am Oda Nobukatsu, the rightful heir of Owari!

You've got a lot of nerve, pretending to be my sister and invading her home province, Nobunaga of Echigo!

Since Sister isn't here right now, I'll be the one to send you to hell in her stead!

Nobukatsu, huh... I see he's still on about that rightful heir nonsense.

Nobukatsu? Wasn't he your younger brother that died, Boss?

Younger...brother?

Yes, Nobukatsu was part of our group as well, but...

Ah, I'm sure he'll surrender peacefully once I go out there and talk to him.

Hey, Nobukatsu! It's me! Go on and surrender, and we can

Nobwa!? That was too damn close!

What's the big idea, Nobukatsu!? Don't tell me you've forgotten what I look like!

What are you saying? You don't look anything like Sister. She's more, um...forward-facing?

Then again, you do look a lot like her...

But no! No! You're not fooling me! If nothing else, I can tell your capes are nothing alike!

Okay, yes, but that's only because my, um, class is different now...

Still, you're the closest I've seen to Sister so far...

If you say you're really her, then I'll just have to capture you and verify your claim with a thorough examination myself!

Huh, I didn't know your little bro was...like that, Boss. I can see the family resemblance, though. In your faces, anyways.

I guess that would be new for you, seeing how you and your siblings look nothing alike.

At any rate, let's go, Fujimaru! Depending on how we tackle this, he could be a lot easier to defeat than the Real-Deal Nobunaga!

...Are you sure you're okay with attacking your own brother?

Hm? ...Well, if nothing else, I'll at least spare his life.

You always have been soft on family, haven't you, Boss! You're weirdly honorable when it comes to stuff like that!

Q-quiet, you! Come on, let's do this!

Right! As Chief Retainer, I'm hoping to take the lion's share of credit for this battle!

Then it looks like you an' me'll be competing to see who can chop off the boss's brother's head first!

I-I think his head can stay where it is...

Th-that overwhelming strength... That more Sisterly than Sister appearance...!

Sisteeerrr! I missed you so muuuch!

Hey! Get offa me! I swear, why do you always have to make this so hard!?

Of course! Wherever Sister goes, I go!

I suppose we have Nobukatsu here to thank for that, technically.

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...

Kagetora, I've decided to make you the head of the clan now.

Thank you, Brother. I promise I'll take good care of it.

I'm sorry, Kagetora... I wish I could have governed Echigo on my own...

But I'm afraid I just wasn't up to the task... (Cough, hack!)

It's okay, Brother. Please, rest. You can go, Kagetora. I'll take it from here.

All right. Please take good care of yourself, Brother.

...

Aya, I... I'm scared of Kagetora...

Even after all that time studying at the temple, she hasn't changed a bit from how she was as a child.

Don't be silly, Brother. Of course she has.

She has embraced the ways of Buddhism, studied the sutras, and become a humble, unfailingly polite warrior.

Embraced the ways of Buddhism? You can't possibly believe that.

You know as well as I do that she has no soul!

She's just imitating the way she thinks humans are supposed to behave!

But her eyes... Those are the eyes of a monster beyond human ken.

I fear those eyes...just like Father did...

...You should get some rest, Brother.

Even now...

I fear Kagetora's eyes far more than I do the gods or the Buddha...

...

Ahaha...

Ahahahahahaha!

...

No... It's nothing.

...Do they now?

？！

Okay everyone, let's pack camp and return to the castle!

Hell yeah! Let's hurry back and have dinner already! I can't get enough of that curry stuff.

It's been great trying all these new kinds of dishes! You're really good at your job, aren't you, Chief Retainer!

Hmm. We're exploiting the hell out of our knowledge of the future, aren't we?