Meat! Meat! Meat!

Bar! Be!

Cue!

Coming right up! Don't worry, there's plenty of meat to go around.

Meat... Meaty-niku meat...

It should be fine, right...? Servants don't gain weight!

？！

Gaaah, why did you have to say thaaat!?

Hmm. Then I suppose we can't entirely discount the theory that says Servants can get fat.

Not only is the fate of humanity in peril, but we are eating food prepared by other Servants.

Such food might have a much stronger effect on our bodies than food made by humans...

At least in theory.

Not that my own weight could ever change, of course.

As a dedicated wife Servant, calorie control comes with the territory.

Oh, you mean that fat-burning diet you've been on for

I'm sorry, did you say something? I didn't quite hear you.

J-j-just talking to myself.

... ...

Senpai. Senpai, look. Ibaraki's right over there...

So, she caught wind of our cookout. Shall I get rid of her, Master?

？！

...That meat looks really good. But then, I ate nothing but meat when I was still alive.

And all I remember about it was that it was tough, and stringy, and smelly.

That's all meat really tastes like. It can't possibly compare to candy...!

All right, I've decided! I will not give in to temptation and partake of this barbecue! I will run around smashing things until it's ruined!

Okay, that's enough of that.

Robin the Green!

I told you, never mind the "Green." Go on, eat up. Don't worry, there's no pepper on it.

H-hey, watch it! You almost skewered me with that skewer!

Relax, I'm no Lancer. Go on, eat it while it's hot.

...This is barbecue meat.

It's good stuff.

H-hmm... Why bother? Chicken, pork, beef, human...it all tastes the same.

That's 'cause you never cooked it properly. Go on, say ahhh.

Hmm. This isn't stringy.

And this spiciness is a refreshing change from all the candy I've been eating lately.

Right? There's something about cooking meat outdoors that makes it taste way better. Maybe it's the party effect or something?

The trick is to get a whole bunch of people together in one place. Now go on, eat up already.

B-but...I'm your enemy right now.

So what? If Shuten-Douji were here, I'm pretty sure she'd just waltz in all, "It'd be rude to rain on your parade," while downing another saucer of wine.

...T-true, that does sound like Shuten.

A-all right, I'll join you then too! ...Got that!?

...Hmph.

Here you go, little Ibaraki.

It's not "little"! It's "Douji"! Lucky for you, this food is so good I'm feeling pretty forgiving now.

...(Holding herself back)

？！

I-I know that.

Very well, I think I'll make myself scarce for a bit. I'm sure you have things to discuss with Ibaraki.

...Now, if you'll excuse me!

Hm?

So you wanna talk to me, huh? ...What about?

I'm not going oni-wild right now on account of how good this meat is, but

!

Heh, tell me something I don't know. But I commend your taste nonetheless, Master.

!!!

Right? Right!? RIGHT!?

？！

This swimsuit is pretty cool, if I do say so myself!

You know, there have been rumors going around in the oni world lately about an oni "correcting" other oni who stray from the rightful oni path.

Of course, I don't believe any of that nonsense, but if that oni really existed, they probably wouldn't be happy with this supremely stylish outfit...

But never mind that. The point is, BB is the one who gave me this swimsuit.

There may be something fishy about her, but the fact that she did so shows she has promise!

...So that's what happened. I'm so sorry we weren't able to give you a swimsuit ourselves, Ibaraki...

Don't worry about that now, Mash. All's well that ends well, as they say!

？！

Don't be stupid! Humans shouldn't go around apologizing to oni! Begging for their lives, yes. Apologizing, no!

Heh. Still, I won't let that go to waste. Hand over that meat skewer, and all will be forgiven.

You want this skewer? Sure, here you go.

That's it. Mmm♪

Delicious! Is this chicken?

That's right. For some reason, Luluhawa has lots and lots of it.

What about this sauce? Did you make this, Boudica?

No, Emiya did. He knows a great deal about all sorts of different cuisines from around the world.

I still have a lot left to learn if I'm going to catch up to him.

Don't sell yourself short. You're a much more skilled chef than I am. All I've got going for me is my knowledge of modern-day seasonings.

There you go again.

I didn't know you were here too, Emiya. Does that mean Nero and Tamamo are around as well?

Yeah. The smell of barbecue lured us right over. And it looks like we weren't the only ones.

... ...

...Is it still not ready? My patience is nearing its limits.

Not just yet, Your Imperial Majesty. It'll take just a little more time.

Ugh, I cannot wait any longer!

Hey! I'd called dibs on that one!

Umu, what fine meat! Despite its beefy nature, it tastes distinctly wolfy and gangy!

Well, I couldn't disagree more... Meat's much better undercooked.

The bloodier the better, as far as I'm concerned. Anything good is better when it's rare.

If you say so. But make sure you cook pork all the way through, or your stomach's going to regret it later.

...However you choose to cook your meat, I would rather you didn't cook it on me just because you're running low on stoves.

If it isn't Lord Babbage! I mistook you for an iron grill as elegant and grand as my own statues!

Hohoho, I'm sorry. I've never used steam to cook meat before, so I couldn't help but try☆

Hmm. Yeah, I'm definitely a lean red meat kind of girl.

...I have to say, the way things are going, we'll be stuck returning to square one again.

I don't see how we can take the ServantFes sales crown, no matter how good the manga turns out.

We have to do something about the Medb Contest too...

And yet, in a contest of beauty, there's almost no chance we can win.

...Which means our only option is to somehow make it into a contest we can win. But how to do that...?

Hmm...

Damn, tengu girl, I could see your long face clear across the beach. What's got you so bummed?

Oh, the Chinese soldier of fortune and the small-statured king. What do you want with me?

Just couldn't help but notice that something was bothering you. You're worried about something for Master's sake, right? It's written all over your face.

Hey, I've been there, so I know what you're going through. If you need to talk, I'm happy to listen.

...I remember now. You were a man of loyalty first and foremost. And the king is a cavalryman skilled in tactical warfare...

All right, you've convinced me. If I can't solve this on my own, maybe the wisdom of others can help.

The problem is...

Hm hm.

So the judges, organizer, and spectators are all on Medb's side, huh. In that case, the only choice is to turn the contest on its head.

The best choice would be where victory can't possibly be disputed, like sports or a martial arts fight.

Yes, that's all true...

...but I can't imagine Medb would simply agree to change the rules.

She doesn't care about the integrity of the contest. All she cares about is winning.

Hmm... Medb, huh.

Come to think of it, I believe I heard you can change into just about anyone?

Yeah, though it's just a leftover power from some incident I don't even remember.

But anyway, while I could change into Medb, there wouldn't be any point to it.

True. She'd have to actually admit defeat, otherwise her accomplices would just find a way to twist the situation to her advantage.

Hmm.

Hey, strategist! Got any bright ideas?

...It's too hot to think out here, so the best plan I can offer is a simple one.

Fine with me. The more complicated the plan, the more variables you need to account for anyway.

Besides, isn't strategy all about achieving maximal results with minimal effort?

Right you are. Very well then, simple it is.

First of all, ask yourselves this: What is Medb's weakness?

Hm? Beats me.

... ...

Could it have something to do with the fact that she always has to win, and be beautiful while doing so?

Very astute. I can see why you made such a name for yourself during the Genpei War.

The fact that the audience, judges, and everyone else are on her side means that she cannot win in a way that would bring shame to one in her lofty position.

I get that.

But even if I were to challenge her to a duel, she'd just laugh in my face.

Which is why you will need the Chinese warrior's help.

...Me?

Let me explain...

... ...This is a lot of fun, isn't it, Senpai?

It may only be a temporary break, but it still feels like a dream come true.

I know we have to repair this Singularity eventually, but I'm still really glad we came to Luluhawa.

Everyone here is just enjoying their summer, without any reservations or hang-ups. It's priceless.

If only this moment...could last forever and ever...

？！

Yamete KudaSTOOOP!!!

O-Osakabehime!?

What do you think you're doing!?

"If only this moment could last forever"? Are you TRYING to bring dramatic irony down on our asses!?

The moment you say you wish spring could last forever, that's when it begins! Madness! Pandemonium! Cats and dogs living together!

You woofed?

Uh, no. Nobody woofed.

Oh. Okay. I'll just go back to the grill then. I gotta say though, barbecues make me real sad...

I can't seem to stop crying... Who thought it was a good idea to assign a cat to onion-chopping duties?

As! I! Was! Saying! We're supposed to move forward in life.

？！

Right? It's not a vacation unless it ends. We have to move forward, not stay looping in place.

...What is it, Mash? Why do you look like you don't know the chigai?

Uh, nothing. It's nothing.

Hey, over there! I could use your help too!

Yes? What is it, Boudica?

There's so many people here that we're running out of meat. Would you mind doing some quick hunting!?

All right. In that case...

...we'll hunt some of the wild Demon Chickens and Boars roaming around nearby!

？！

Did someone say hunt? Then I'll help too! Consider it your reward for feeding me delicious meat!

Now watch and learn what we oni can do when we go nuts!

Well hunted!

You sure you wanna go around saying things like that yourself...?

O-oh, right. I've heard it so many times that it just sort of slipped out.

Great job, Senpai. It was nice that everyone took some of their spare time to help us out.

(Munch, munch) Hey, I was rooting for you in my kokoro.

What do you expect? Eating is one of our three most basic desires. Anything living's gotta eat something to go on living.

Not even Servants can easily resist that fact of life.

？！

Now, on with the banquet! More meat! With plenty of barbecue sauce!

This reminds me of Brazilian churrasco.

Um, excuse me. Could I get two... Actually, make that three steak tips? The ones right over there, please.

Hm? O-oh, sure, here you go. I see you've got a very healthy appetite.

Oh no, I really don't, usually. It's just that this meat is so good.

Oh, could I get a few hot dogs to go, please? No seafood, thanks. I hate octopus and all that.

Thank you. Have a great lunch, Chief Red!

...Chief Red? She must have me confused with someone else...

That aside, the way she stuffed herself looked extremely familiar...