EP 1: An Oni Amusement Park! Oniland!

...Don't give up yet.

Go on. Just a little further.

You can't go back the way you came. Keep moving forward.

You've walked alone all this time. That gives you the right.

Keep going. Just a little further.

Do that, and you'll acquire something precious. Something all desire deep in their very souls.

I will bestow upon you, and only you, a brilliance that has dazzled people for all time. Now, go on.

I see that you too have desire in your heart. You will not be able to resist my gift's allure. Go on, walk.

Please, keep going...

...That's it. Thank you, thank you.

Yes, that's it. You have been walking in solitude all this time, so this gift will be yours, and yours alone.

Go on, make your way through the cave. No amount of snow could ever stop your journey.

That's it. Just a little further.

There you go. Now, look up...

...Welcome, lost soul. Welcome, O greedy one.

All of this gold belongs to you now.

...(Munch, munch)

... ...

Hehe, this caramel isn't half bad. It melts on my tongue. Mmm...

Nothing beats sinking your teeth into a still-beating heart dripping with blood, but sweets come awfully close. Especially cotton candy.

It does get kind of boring when all you eat is meat and all you drink is blood.

And since oni don't usually get sugar at all, it's just good sense to stock up while we can!

Now, c'mon. You have more than that! Gimme. You don't really think that was enough, do you?

Go on, Red One! Keep the offerings coming!

Hmm...

How many times have I made this for you this week?

I only started doing it to keep you away from the cafeteria, mind you. I mean, you just kept staring at me.

Cotton candy is usually reserved for festivals and food stands, you know.

I get why you'd be interested in it. Luluhawa had some stands selling it too.

Plus, you're an oni. I doubt you really got to partake in any human festivals while you lived.

So I understand why you'd be so fixated on cotton candy after you finally got to try it...

...Hm?

...but enough is enough. This is setting a bad example for all the others.

I can't go turning Chaldea's cafeteria into a candy shop.

...Oh, and by "all the others"...

...I mean the kid Servants.

...Hmm?

Let me make sure I've got this straight, Red One. Are you treating me...like a child?

Tell you what. If you prostrate yourself and take it all back, I'll forget this ever happened. I don't wanna eat a Heroic Spirit's heart if I don't have to.

He's saying you're pigging out too much, and it's bad for the other kids!

It's the nice green guy!

Back off. Sweets are my thing right now. Besides, eating nothing but freshly torn out Heroic Spirit hearts would give me indigestion.

This is your last chance. If you bow down before me and beg me to forgive you, I'll

Now, now, Ibaraki.

Nobody's trying to upset you. I'm sorry you feel that way.

Hm?

Listen, Ibaraki.

If you're really hungry, we'd be happy to feed you until you couldn't eat another bite. We'll even make sweets for you if that's what you want.

But cotton candy is something you eat at festivals and carnivals and such. You know that, right?

Yes, that's what I've been told.

That makes it a special food for special days! I mean, we didn't have it back when I was alive, but I'm pretty sure that's how it works.

Hmm, good point. I guess you may not be completely wrong.

In Japan, my home country, I hear that cotton candy is only served from food carts at festivals.

And festivals are only held on special days, not ordinary ones.

Not that Shuten and I ever got to see any. At most, we could only just hear some music and laughing and all that from up on Mt. Ooe.

Hm, hm, I see. You sure are a clever one, aren't you, Ibaraki.

So cotton candy's a treat just for special days then?

Indeed.

You can't eat it on regular days?

Hmm, good question. The way I see it...

...the reason cotton candy is so special to children is because they can only eat it on special days.

I see. That makes sense. But then, in that case...

...wouldn't having it every day make it less special?

A-aah!

I-I hadn't thought about that. No matter how delicious something is, I guess eating it every day would kind of wear it out...

If I had yummy cotton candy all the time, I would have nothing to look forward to at the next festival...

(Way to go, Big Sis. You really know your stuff.)

(Ahaha, well, you know how it is with these things. A little experience goes a long way.)

(Well, whatever you did, it worked. Thanks for the help.)

Hmm... I guess I forgot what it means to be an oni.

Maybe it's time I put my Spirit Origin back to normal. Hmm... But then again...

You still want to play more?

Yes! Exact

No, it's not that! I mean, it IS that, but it's not only that!

I mean, there are some people who would enjoy being torn apart and devoured by this Spirit Origin more than my old one, right?

Of course, I prefer my usual appearance, but I thought I may as well ask Master what he thinks too. Just, you know, for a second opinion.

...In any case, I'm still me. I'm still an oni!

Just because someone asks me to do something doesn't mean I gotta listen!

And right now, you're in the mood to listen to Master?

Yes. Just for now.

Farewell then, kitchen staff and nice green guy! I'm gonna go see Master's stupid face.

Okay, see you later. Come back when you get hungry again!

Hehe. Make sure you have some fried foods ready for me next time!

Kids these days, huh?

She's not really a kid. Just a Heroic Spirit that looks like one. But I know what you mean.

Oh, don't discount looks. The way you present yourself can say a lot about who you are.

Anyway, the dinner shift ought to be here.

Cat's up, everyone!? Your shift, that's what!

...I'm coming in.

(Looking around)

Aha, there he is. You're in luck, Master. Quick, weep tears of joy!

？！

Hehehe, indeed!

I went to the trouble of coming all the way here!

See, I wanted to ask you about my Spirit Ori

B...wa!?

Sorry, that's the emergency alarm!

Okay, it's stopped now...but I'm afraid it wasn't malfunctioning. We have a real emergency on our hands!

Sheba has detected a minute Singularity!

Yup, I was just taking a peek at that myself.

Pinpointing the minute Singularity's origin now... There it is! Hold on while I cross-reference the location data.

Looks like it's coming from the area around the old abandoned Chitose gold mine in Hokkaido.

Yeah, it's definitely a tiny one in terms of magical energy, but it's still a Singularity. If Sheba can observe it, we can Rayshift to it.

Japan... That's one of your favorite countries, isn't it, Master!

？！

According to our records, the Chitose Mine was a massive mine that contained around thirty thousand tons of ore.

It was shut down in 1986, and should still be closed today.

These days, I'm pretty sure Chitose is best known for its airport. I think there's an amusement park in the area as well.

Oho. An amusement park, huh...

Anyway, you all know what the next step is: investigating!

We're still not sure if a Holy Grail spawned this minute Singularity or not, but if it did, make sure you bring it back with you. Got that, Fujimaru?

？！

I'll provide support from here in the Command Room! Please be careful, Senpai.

To be honest...I wish I could go along and help you out directly, but...

Hm, hm. I might be an oni, but I can still see how much you care for Master, and I do owe you...

Yes! Don't worry, Mash. I'll protect Master in your stead.

Besides, I was just thinking I still wanted to do something fun while I have this Spirit Origin.

Muahaha! This is your lucky day, Master! Anyway, Chitose, was it? When do we leave?

That's right! I'm gonna give you the amazing blessing that is my presence! I'll understand if you are so beside yourself with gratitude that you can't speak.

？！

Looks like your natural charm saves the day again, Fujimaru.

I'd still like to send at least one other Servant with you, though. Hmm, I guess I can put out a call and

No need for that, Lady Da Vinci. I am never far from Master's side.

Aah!

...I mean, I knew you were there. Yep. I smelled you. I just yelped for the fun of it.

There's no hiding from an oni. Nope.

...I see.

I am ashamed of my ignorance. I was unaware oni had such keen noses...

？！

Yes, my lord. Rest assured, I will see my ninja duties through to the end, be it at Ezoer, Hokkaido, Okinawa, or anywhere in between.

Great, looks like we've got our lineup then. All that's left to do now is Rayshift!

I've set the coordinates to an area near the Chitose Mine in the year 201X!

...Senpai, wait! I want you to take these pocket warmers, scarf, and winter jacket with you!

This is all the additional equipment you'll be able to bring with you on your Rayshift, but it should help you deal with Hokkaido's cold!

？！

Th-thank you, Senpai! I'm not sure if you'll be able to do that without magical energy conversion first...

...but I'd love an authentic wooden bear statue or something like that! Anyway, please be careful!

Hey, hey! Welcome to Oniland!

Welcome, all you fine Chitose folks! Ladies and gents, boys and girls... There's something for everyone here!

The Pumpkin Merry-Go-Round is a family favorite, and right now, the wait is only fifteen minutes!

For lovebirds here on a date, we recommend the Pumpkin Teacups! Nothing like a whirl in the cup to bring you closer together!

And who doesn't love the Pumpkin Ferris Wheel!? Nobody, that's who! There's currently a thirty-minute wait, but the view from the top is breathtaking!

Welcome one and all to paradise here on Earth: Oniland!

Wow, those costumes almost look real... Are they supposed to be old movie monsters or something?

Daddy, Daddy! I wanna ride the merry-go-round!

I wanna go in the teacups! I saw a blond guy with sunglasses whirling around, and it looked awesome!

Everywhere you look, it's nothing but pumpkins and oni, pumpkins and oni... I honestly don't remember when they even built this place.

I guess today's construction workers really get the job done fast. And what a deal, giving every household in Chitose a week's worth of free passes! Talk about generous!

Now let's go! We can start with whatever's got the shortest lines and go from there!

Welcome, welcome! Free pass holders get to skip ahead to the front of the lines!

Wow, really!? That's great!

None of us could be here without all of you enjoying yourselves, after all! Did I mention that everything in the food court is free of charge too? 'Cause it is!

Oniland: a paradise on Earth! An amusement park where the fun never ends!

Please relax and enjoy your visit! We oni welcome any and all forms of intelligent life!

Our motto is just three little words♪ Love and Peace♪

Now that you're here♪ Let's all have fun together♪

What fun♪ What joy♪ Oniland, the perfect paradise♪

Welcome to Oooniiilaaaaaand♪

...Huh?

What the what?

Oni...! Oni as far as the eye can see, Master!

W-we see it from here too, Senpai! Is that really

An amusement park! So this is what they're like!

Please, Master! Get a hold of yourself!

？！

？！

N-not at all. I cannot blame you for being swept up in this atmosphere. A sight like this is enough to make anyone lose their mind.

It does look like some sort of amusement park, and the employees all appear to be...well...

...oni!

And I don't mean they're in oni costumes or anything. I mean they are actual oni, with the magical energy readings and everything!

I'm picking up ten... Twenty... Too many to count!

Then, it truly is a land of oni.

They don't seem to be the same type of oni as Shuten-Douji and Ibaraki-Douji, or the kind that are outside the human domain.

I think they're the type of oni that come from stories! But how did they get here? Were they created in this minute Singularity?

Hey, Mr. Oni!

Yes, little man? How can I help you?

Don't you have any roller coasters here? You know, those scary rides that are all ZOOM and make you go AAAH?

Eee, of course not! You won't find anything scary here, little man!

Everything here is designed to be enjoyed safely and securely, by decree of the Great Oni!

Huh...?

For an oni-themed amusement park, being so focused on safety seems strangely...um...

...gentle?

...Great Oni?

These oni may not be like any other kind we have seen to date, but they are still oni. They are supposed to be frightening creatures that attack villages and feast on humans.

And yet here they are, touting the virtues of...safety and security?

Damn, this is amazing. Am I seeing this right? It looks like the oni that work there are waiting on the people that came from Chitose hand and foot.

Also, is there something wrong with our visual feed, or is this Oniland place as pumpkiny as it looks?

？！

Halloween...

You're right, Senpai! It is pretty much Halloween time, isn't it!?

Then, does that mean this Oniland place is this year's Halloween-themed Holy Grail adventure!?

I'm not sure. Sure, it's very pumpkiny around there, but it's also very oniy...

We may not have enough information to make a definitive call just yet, but it sure as hell looks like there're Halloween shenanigans afoot.

... ...

...The hell is this!?

Safety? Security!? How do these things fit in a place calling itself Oniland!?

No oni with their head screwed on straight would ever give a crap about any of these things!

Being an oni is supposed to mean something, dammit! It's not just about having a horn!

... ...

You're all frauds!

Lady Ibaraki, please keep your voice down, or you will draw their atten

...?

Uh-oh. We have a situation, people! I'm picking up a guest with dangerously high levels of A.S.S.! (Annoyance and StresS)

This is terrible... We can't have anyone be annoyed or stressed in Oniland!

That's right. The Great Oni said so. Annoyance and stress bother the other guests...

They bother the other guests...! They bother the other guests...!

Look out! The oni are making a move!

A huge number of magical energy signals is headed your way! ...And they pretty clearly have hostile intent based on these readings!

Anything that bothers other guests...

...must be destroyed!

Hehehehe. That's more like it, you buncha wimpy oni! But it's still not enough. You're worried about us bothering other guests? What a joke!

If you've forgotten what it means to be oni, I'll just have to beat it back into your skulls!

Hehe... Mwahahahahaha!

Come on, Master! I'm gonna show these pathetic imitations how a real oni fights!

...We have defeated the large oni, Master.

Hah! Too easy! Did you really think that would be enough to topple me, the oni general of Mt. Ooe!?

It'll take a lot more than a big oni or two to beat me! No lame oni wannabe is ever gonna

Hm? Those footsteps sounded kind of loud...

Multiple large hostiles are headed your way!

They look to be more of those warrior oni things you just fought!

Well they don't seem shy about pouring on the reinforcements! Interesting! Too bad for them it takes more than just being big and strong to be a real oni!

What? It's true.

Understood! Lady Ibaraki!

？！

You could throw all the oni wannabes in this park at me and it wouldn't make a difference. Hah...muahahaha! You posers wanna go again? Fine, we'll go again!

Ahahahahahaha! Is that the best you can do!? Pathetic!

A real oni would pick up the limbs they lost and slap them right back on! They'd eat their own allies to recover! They'd breathe fire and become storms!

How do I know? 'Cause that's what I would do!

Yes, this is exactly what I would expect from an oni of Mt. Ooe. However...

I'm picking up even more hostiles headed your way! Please try to escape before they completely surround you, Senpai!

？！

Then I'll just tear them all to pieces and devour them myself!

Mom always said that if you're an oni, you'd better act like one!

That may be, Lady Ibaraki, but there is also something to be said for knowing when the odds are against us!

We are no longer human and oni, but Servants. I imagine some things must be different for you now, just as they are for me.

We can only fight as long as Master's magical energy lasts, and his reserves are not inexhaustible!

...Hm. Yeah, guess you got a point there.

？！

(Sigh) I'm embarrassed for you. Shouldn't a Master be better with their magical energy?

...Then again, I guess there's no point whining about something that wasn't there to begin with.

Okay then! The smart thing to do now is to break through this group of oni and escape...but they do have numbers going for them, if nothing else.

See what I mean!? The only thing there should ever be so much of in one place is confetti!

...If all else fails, Master, I will guard your life with my own.

!

...Wait! I'm picking up a new magical energy reading!

!

That is...a Servant aura!

Nobody to the right, nobody to the left... Then, that just leaves...

...above!

...There's a sort of format for this sort of thing, right?

I know I'm just kind of standing on this pole thingy right now, but you're supposed to make a dramatic entrance for this sort of stuff, right?

Not that it really matters to me either way.

Spot here gets really grumpy if I don't play along, so I figured I'd put in the effort this once.

My name's not Spot, it's Haku. Not that it matters.

I'm with you there. It doesn't.

...But, for now...

...Hup!

...Tup.

You all seem like you're in trouble. I mean, I honestly don't care much...

...but now that I've tweaked my Spirit Origin and all, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to make a dramatic gesture.

？！

Who are you!?

Wha

Wha-wha-what a beautiful oni... The only oni who even comes close is Shuten!

She's like...a flower from heaven, or a star twinkling in the Milky Way...

Huh? Um, are you two seeing what I'm seeing?

Because I'm looking at her Spirit Origin right here, and she's very clearly Shuten

Fufu... I'm sorry, what was that?

Don't be a spoilsport, Mashmallow. I'm a magical defender girla magifender if you willwho happened to be passing by.

And I'm Haku. Not that my name matters.

...Magifender girl...? Um, and Haku, was it? It's, um, nice to meet you...

Well, well, listen to you, big guy. You certainly have a lot of energy to spare.

So, how 'bout I just give you a liiittle love tap, mm?

...Sh-she just took out that huge oni with a single strike!

Now, let's try this again♡

...It's all fine and good if the heavens forgive you, I guess.

If Earth wants to forgive you, that's its business. And I reeeally don't care if humans forgive you.

But an oni? If you're looking for forgiveness from an oni, that'll depend on which oni you ask!

You handle this however you want. I'll just be riiight here watching.

...I'm a magifender, and magifense is me...

Magifender Girl is on the scene!

...Magifender Girl is on the scene.

It's sooo nice to meet you, Master and company.

Pleasure.

？！

... ...

An oni with an animal companion... She's...

She's so beautiful I lost track of things for a moment, but I recognize her now! I should have known there'd be one in this world!

I've never seen one myself, but I've heard all about them from Shuten!

Then, you know who that beautiful oni is, Lady Ibaraki!?

Yes. I do! I'm sure of it!

Just like how heroes who save people become Heroic Spirits, there are those who save oni and go on to become magifenders!

They may not be recorded in human history, but they are the one true law among oni!

Today, you would call them...

...Oni Cure!

Oni Cure! I see! I had no idea that oni legends told of such things!

？！

Umm, Da Vinci! Can you help me out, please!?

I've never heard of a magical oniI mean, magifender oni before, and I don't think I've seen anything about them in Chaldea's database either.

Are they some kind of oni only spoken of in secret legends?

Beats me!

I... I didn't think anything beat you...

Hey, even I have to hear about stuff for the first time before I can know it!

There's a lot we don't know about oni ecology and society. Hell, we don't even know if they have a society in the first place.

Still, assuming they had some sort of community, I could see them needing an oni to maintain order...

Then again, I don't know... She reminds me of Saturday morning cartoons more than anything...

Exactly!

That's exactly it! You really are a sharp one, Da Vinci!

Oni Cure there is nothing less than

Shuten! Shuten! I just found something amazing in Chaldea's database!

It looks like a picture scroll about children magically transforming into warriors...

...only the pictures on this scroll actually move!!!

I think they said it was originally "broadcast on TV" during Saturday mornings, whatever that means.

Hmm. Are you talking about cartoons? Or maybe a low-budget science fiction show?

I'm not sure. It sounds like you know more than I do. But whatever it was...it was sooo cool!

(Sigh) Is that so?

The heroes looked just like any other ordinary girls, with thin little arms that seem like they couldn't possibly fight off monsters...

...but then it turns out they're stupidly strong!

It was almost like... Like watching you, Shuten.

They never backed down no matter what they were up against. They just wouldn't stop until they smashed their enemy's face in! But they'd do it gracefully, even beautifully!

...Wait a second.

Yes?

WAS it you, Shuten?

...Hm? What do you mean?

No ordinary human could ever have power like that. And these girls weren't warriors like Kintoki and Raikou.

They were more like oni than humans!

I've never seen anything else like them, except...well, you, Shuten!

So, now I'm thinking maybe they were oni! Or maybe even based on your legends!

...(Sigh) Of all the silly things to fixate on.

Listen, Ibaraki. Whatever you saw on TV wasn't me.

All I ever do is whatever I want, whenever I want.

Did you see any of those girls devour any good-looking guys?

Oh, well...no, they didn't...

...Then I guess they weren't based on you. So it was just another story made by and for humans...

They weren't oni...after all...

... ...

...That is...not to say there weren't ever any other oni like that.

Huh?

...A magifender oni.

That's what this oni is called, or at least that's what she's calling herself.

I don't know if she first showed up in the Heian era or not. I've definitely never heard of her.

But Shuten told me all about her!

She said that just as human heroes become Heroic Spirits, oni heroes become magifenders.

Her name must be...Oni Cure! Magifender Girl Oni Cure!

I wasn't sure I believed Shuten when she first told me...

...but now that she's standing here in front of us, it's clear she has to be real!

I...see?

Nooow I get it. (So Ibaraki-Douji came up with the name "Oni Cure.")

Understood. (Oni Cure... That sounds so lovely...)

(I especially like how distinctly different she sounds from the likes of Shuten-Douji and Ibuki-Douji...)

Me neither, Senpai. How can I put this...

You know...

(Is it just me, or does that magifender oni sound an awful lot like Shuten-Douji...?)

？！

(Sigh) I knew it. Now that Ibaraki's bought in, I guess I don't have a choice.

I don't know why my Spirit Origin changed here in Chitose, but since it did, I guess I'm a magifender girl now.

Which I guess also means I've gotta do something about this ridiculous Oniland place...

This is the Great Oni's territory. Nothing more, nothing less.

Shuten-DouI mean, Magifender Girl, do you know anything about what's going on here?

You're bothering the other guests... You're bothering the other guests...

I'm afraid we have to ask you to leave! Leave! Leave! Leave!

LEEEAVE!

How about we save the talk for later, mmm? Say, after we've beaten all these fake oni?

？！

Sure are some fine fake oni specimens here, aren't there? How about we pick a few and see how far we can send them flying?

After that, we can see about getting out of here. Okay, Master...

...let's see if you can keep up with me, Magifender Girl!

...That ought to do it♡

Hmm. That's magifender power for you.

Thank you, Oni Cure!

I knew the magifender oni was real... I knew Shuten was telling the truth all along!

Look, Master! She's just as beautiful as Shuten!

She's a true oni heroine! I'm such a fan!

？！

See? Even a human can't help but be enthralled by her beauty!

Never mind that now! Master! Lady Ibaraki! Lady Magifender! We need to make our escape!

Don't you worry your pretty little heads about me. You just go ahead and escape if you don't want to die.

Ah!

...The Great Oni is here.

I'm pretty sure he's the one with the Holy Grail. You reeeally don't want to mess with him.

Go on, get out of here. I'll hold him off.

？！

？！

Oh, juuust a moment.

...Teehee. That seals our temporary contract.

All right, I'll see you all later, assuming we both survive. If you ever find yourself in a tight spot again, I might show up to bail you out. Maybe.

See ya.

Later.

Aww, Oni Cure's gone. Guess that means she won't be joining me after all...

Hmm... I can't say this doesn't suck, but I suppose I can understand...

She must be pretty busy saving the oni world once a week, after all...

Thanks to that last battle, we're not completely surrounded any longer! We must take this chance to make our escape, Master!

Scanning for nearby hostiles now! Senpai, try heading northwest from your current

Hang on. What's this? Another Servant reading?

This way! Hurry!

Follow me if you want to live!

Who're you!?

Wait...! That smell...!

Master!

？！

Understood! Hurry, Lady Ibaraki!

I know, I know! Oni Cure said the same thing!

Hehehe, I guess it won't hurt to fall back this once. Oni aren't warriors, you know! We don't always have to just charge in without thinking!

...Let's go! Fall back!

Gehehehehe...!

I am the Great Oni. The one who rules over Oniland!

So, some brazen, ill-mannered guests have come to complain about my Oniland, have they? Gehehehe...

Very well then! If they truly have no intention of enjoying themselves here...

...then I will show them how terrible oni can truly be! Gehehehe!

For example...what if the bus they take back to Chitose from Oniland were suddenly HIJACKED!

Oh no! Not that! What a terrible tragedy that would be!

Gehehehe! Tremble in fear, rude guests! Your hour of reckoning fast approaches!