Royal Amusement

Well now, if it isn't Fujimaru.

Oh, hello, RiderI mean, Iskandar, King of Conquerors! I didn't know you were here, too.

While I'd like to suggest a contest of luck now that we've happened to run into each other here...

...I'm afraid I have nothing left to bet, since I just got taken for everything I had.

You mean, you lost at gambling?

Oh yeah, big time. They utterly wiped the floor with me.

Heh, that's because I got to enjoy plenty of time on the razor's edge between success and defeat. That sort of thrill is well worth the money I lost to experience it.

Hm? Well, of course I can hold my own when it comes to games of chance.

I would never have become the King of Conquerors if it weren't for all those times I gambled my life and won.

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But, you can't win them all. Especially when it comes to gambling.

And for leisure pursuits like this where the worst thing one stands to lose is money, my usual inhibitions tend to go right out the window.

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Perhaps, but I'll admit I chose to stay in the game longer than I should have. Though part of that is because my opponent did an excellent job of stringing me along.

They turned out to be a real beast. I guess today just wasn't my day.

Was there really that good a player here at this casino?

Sure was. In fact, they should still be killing it over at that table.

？！

Oh wow, I can barely even see him behind that mountain of chips...

Raise!

Oho, you must have quite the hand...Forget it. We fold.

？！

Judging by their opponent's mood, I'm guessing the other guy was bluffing.

And Qin Shi Huang didn't notice?

Of course they did. They knew their opponent was gunning for them, so they decided to play along.

Take a look. Now the other two players have started raising the stakes. In situations like this, Qin Shi Huang always

Raise!

Call.

I'll raise too!

...Call.

Call!

And the river card.

Check.

Ch-check!

...Check.

So this is where we lay our cards on the table? Very well, let's see... It seems we have a pair and three of a kind.

If we are not mistaken, this is what is called a full house, no?

Gnnn...

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I don't understand. If they're so good, why would they keep calling instead of raising?

To get the other players to lower their guard. They always make sure never to be caught in the cross fire.

If they find themself becoming the center of attention, they'll keep flitting away until they can swoop in and reap the spoils of others' hard-fought battles.

It may get results, but it's a sneaky, underhanded way to play, if you ask me.

？！

I might not have much of a leg to stand on after losing so terribly, but it felt like I was playing a wall more than a person.

Still, I have to wonder if they actually enjoy winning with tactics like that.

Hm? Oh, Fujimaru. We did not know you were here too.

This should be a perfect opportunity to show you what we are capable of when it comes to contests of...diplomacy.

I'm still impressed by what a good poker player you turned out to be, Qin Shi Huang. I never would have guessed it.

Well, there was a time when numerous warlords competed for power, even in our Lostbelt. We must have spent hundreds of years practicing diplomatic negotiations without taking military measures.

The only real difference with poker is that we merely need to read our opponents' expressions, as opposed to the state of their nations.

If we had known we could forego sending ambassadors and conducting ceremonies in favor of having all the nations' heads of state come together to try to obtain their fellow nations' coffers by pitting their wits against one another in this manner...

...we could have put an end to war long ago.

Viva the Las Vegas casino! It is a truly wonderful system of diplomacy!

？！

And with all these heads of state competing for finances like this, we are bound to win thanks to our centuries of experience. Perhaps we should take this opportunity to rebuild our empire once we have bankrupted their nations.

Um, I don't think any of the people playing here are heads of any nations...

Of course, this is Las Vegas. I expect you could find one or two members of royalty somewhere if you looked hard enough.

...What did you say?

(Um... Why does Qin Shi Huang look so upset all of a sudden?)

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Hold it. Hold everything. Are you telling us these are not statesmen? That they are actually ordinary people?

That these people trading vast sums of money while going about dressed in ostentatious clothing are citizens?

They sure are. They're all regular people dreaming of that one chip that'll turn their lives around.

Whatever their normal lives are like, tonight, they can all act like kings. That's the beauty of gambling.

Inconceivable!

We will admit, we did find it odd that these members of royalty seemed so lacking in regality...

...but since no ordinary person could hope to compare to a Zhenren like ourself, we thought nothing more of it.

We did also think it odd that these fellow rulers were wagering such small amounts...

...but if those funds came from their personal property rather than their nation's coffers, that only makes this all the more inconceivable!

The amount of money these citizens lost in a single round would surely be enough to change the course of their lives!

Ah, now I get it. You never realized this was all for amusement.

No wonder you kept playing it so damn safe.

Of course we did. How many mouths could the money we won tonight have fed? How many newborns could it have raised into adulthood!?

And you tell us that ordinary citizens are competing for such life-changing sums of money...for pleasure?

That these casinos blinded these normal people by dressing them up and treating them as royalty in order to drive them to bankruptcy?

Well, I mean, it's wonderful that you're so concerned about their livelihoods, but

It has been a long time indeed since we were this furious.

That does it. We must use this anger to demonstrate what happens when the Heavenly Emperor is crossed. We must fight to utterly destroy this state of affairs with all our might.

Aah! What the hell are those things!?

Go, our soldiers! Raze all of Las Vegas to the ground!

W-wait! What about all the other customers here!?

Looks like they won't listen to reason unless we knock some into them...

I understand how you feel very well, and you have every right to be angry, but please, you need to calm down!

Besides, you don't need to destroy anything! This will all go away once we get rid of this Singularity!

...What was that? This is a Singularity?

Hahaha! Why did you not say so sooner, you silly girl? We got all worked up for nothing.

You really had no idea? Most Servants figure it out when they Rayshift.

Hmph. Compared to our perfect eternal empire, Proper Human History is utterly riddled with oddities. We can hardly be expected to tell what passes for normal here from what is strange.

Nonetheless, it is reassuring to know that this den of wickedness will be wiped clean off the map.

We take it you already know what must be done to repair this Singularity?

Um, yes. It's kind of a long story, but...

Hmm. Swordbeauties, eh... We see! This is all quite confusing, but we do understand that we are better off keeping our hands clean of them.

Very well then, we will return to Chaldea and leave you to it. Good luck!

And here I thought they might actually want to help. Silly me...

It is a grand and glorious task, restoring all of humanity. Though it must be rather difficult for you to always be the one cleaning up others' strange messes.

Should you ever tire of it, feel free to let us know, and we will gladly take the opportunity to begin rebuilding our eternal empire in earnest.

I'm glad that's over with...

I have to ask though: Why didn't you tell them there are casinos in Proper Human History as well?

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I agree. We can tell Qin Shi Huang the truth about casinos once we've finished taking care of this Singularity.