Revival Scenario: Battle in New York 2021

Hi there. How's it going? And by "it" I mean life, of course. What else could it possibly be?

I'm the god of shepherds, bringing you safe and secure dreams no matter the circumstances.

I'm also the most trustworthy god of all, and the god who never takes responsibility for anything. That's right. It's yours truly, Dumuzid.

To recap:

Space Ishtar, whose very name brings misfortune, has changed the world with her invasion.

The King of Heroes has been deposed, the shop continues to operate without much issue...

The Prize Roulette continues to spin like a hamster wheel, and all the Heroic Spirits are happy to continue participating in the tournament.

Wait, I'm sorry. The world hasn't actually changed at all. My bad.

Anyway, the battle is finally nearing its climax. I can feel my heart pounding. Does this mean I'm in love?

Why is the goddess searching for this Master? Where did the real Ishtar go?

I know you have questions, but that's not important now.

What matters is stopping Space Ishtar.

If I might be figurative, let's say she's a gorgeous bombshell. It doesn't matter how gorgeous she is; she's still inevitably going to go off.

As for me, I'm like the lit fuse marking the seconds until the blast. What's that? There's a lid for every pot? Well I, for one, am shocked.

At any rate, the fate of this tournament is now in the hands of Fujimaru and the King of Heroes.

Now is the time for them to defeat Space Ishtar and restore peace to the world. At least, that's the future I dream of.

But be warned. Ishtar is a shooting star streaking across the night sky.

And by that, I mean she's an intercontinental ballistic missile that's likely to detonate without much warning.

Also, Space Ishtar officially qualifies as a threat to humankind, so try to keep that in mind too. Dumuzid out.

...All right, here we are at the second special stage of this year's tournament!

With some help from the King of Heroes, we've managed to get this far, Senpai!

？！

Heh. I must commend your boldness in coming this far only to ignore the enemy directly before you.

Then again, Space Ishtar, or whatever your name was, perhaps you simply don't have what it takes to make a compelling antagonist!

Ugh, do you ever shut up, Goldie!?

Why is it that no matter which universe I go to, I always find a completely depraved Servant with your face!?

Fine then, since you've managed to get this far, I'll come down there to meet you myself!

Prepare to feast your eyes upon Ishtar Ashtart, known through the Sapphire Galaxy as the goddess of creation...

...and look upon her with equal parts fear and envy!!!

Well? Are you so overcome by my sheer godliness that your very souls have cashed out!?

？！

...Well, you look pretty much exactly like the Ishtar we know, so...

Right... That's about what I should have expected from you. You didn't even get an animation update. Pathetic...

Okay, now you're really pissing me off! Did you all forget that I'm an incredibly amazing goddess!?

Whatever accomplishments you think you may claim are more than negated by the ceaseless trouble you cause, you fool! If proof is what you need, find a mirror!

Now what have you gotten yourself possessed by? Or is it just one of those placebo effect things?

Either way, you are clearly an impostor! Or rather, you're nothing more than the genuine, ordinary Ishtar! The sheer gall you have, calling yourself "Space" anything! What a joke!

Huh!? You're calling me an impostor!? On what grounds!?

Did you forget I have this huge spaceship!? It's got laser cannons and everything! Look!

Stop firing your damn lasers willy-nilly! Are you trying to drown Chaldea in damage claims!?

I'll admit, I don't know how you got your hands on that floating temple...but I expect you most likely just messed with some cursed object you should have left well alone.

You may have fooled me once with your Space moniker, but no more! You are clearly nothing more than the same ordinary Ishtar I tired of looking upon long ago!

And you call that a name change!? You should apologize to that "Super" Lancer who actually bothered to change his outfit!

H-how dare you levy such slanderous accusations against the goddess of the Origin Universe! Now I'm really pissed!

I was planning to take it easy on this planet since it's still so underdeveloped, but no more! Now I'm going to destroy this entire stage, along with the city it's in!

I am the crimson goddess who bears shugurra, the crown of the empty plains of Edin. I am the young, wild quasar who ruled the ancient past from on high!

If you truly have no fear of this great crown, then I will spare none of my energy on your defeat!

Bring it on!

Heh, well that is something. I see you at least have a bit more bluster than usual.

While I certainly have no qualms about popping that overinflated ego of yours, given our history and our shared status as boss Servants, I will ask you one question as an act of mercy!

Tell me Ishtar, which did you drop!? The gold Master, or the silver Master!?

Whahuh!? Uh, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I'll say...gold! I think!

Ishtar has taken up her combat stance! We're finally about to fight her, Master!

Wait! Did you just say "Master"!? Does that mean Master was actually a person all along!?

Khh! How can Servants from a backwater planet like this be so strong!?

It's over, Ishtar. Wipe off those absurd scribbles off yourself, drop this space pretense, and admit your defeat.

Do that, and Fujimaru and I will be willing to chalk this up to more of your usual antics.

I hate to admit it, but... it looks like this is it for me...

Hahaha, I told you, there's no need for further dramatics. Though I can certainly understand how you wish you could disappear right about now.

But the only thing you need let go of is whatever it is that possessed you to attempt this latest nonsense. Getting rid of your Spirit Origin in the process would be taking the joke much too faHuh!?

Um... I can confirm that the Holy Grail is now safely in our custody. But, I'm afraid, well...

Ishtar's Spirit Origin has also completely disappeared! Wh-wh-what's going on, King Gilgamesh!?

Whoa, whoa, don't just blame me for this! You were just as eager to fight her as I was!

Tell you what: we'll share the punishment for any criminal charges fifty-fifty! How does that sound!?

？！

The giant spaceship is falling apart! It almost looks like...it's dissolving into red flower petals...

Ishtar... You may have been a greedy nuisance who always went about stirring up trouble like a broken spin-dryer...

But now that you're gone, it makes me think that maybe, just maybe...we lost a good goddess today...

？！

Hey, what's up with all this red ash? Is this a normal thing in New York? No one told me!

I know it's partly my fault for being late, since I thought this event was happening in San Francisco at first...

...but is this really all the welcome I get after I cut my tour of the Golden Gate Bridge short?

Oh!

Nn.

Hm? What is it?

？！

What the!? Where'd that come from!?

Will you two calm down and get off me already!? And knock it off with the crying too!

Seriously, what's with you guys!? What in the world happened while I was gone!?

I see... Space Ishtar, huh? I mean, sure, I can teleport pretty much anywhere as long as it's near Venus...

But do you really think I'd ever do anything that stupid? You should know me better than that by now.

I...guess you have a point. Thinking back on it now, that giant spaceship did seem like something out of a dream...

？！

What has that got to do with it!? I swear, you guys have watched way too many movies!

And what were you thinking, teaming up with them, Gilgamesh?

I thought wisdom was your whole thing. Well, that and being a pompous tyrant.

Why in the world did you think that was really me? Did you just get so caught up in the excitement you forgot to take a step back and actually think about what was going on?

Don't look at me. If anything, I'm the victim here...

？！

Well, uh... Okay, I guess I can't blame you for thinking of me like I'm some kind of invader from Venus, but still...

Anyway, everything's all taken care of now, right?

So turn those frowns upside down and quit moping about inadvertently killing me, okay? I'm fine! Obviously!

Whoever this mysterious other Ishtar was, you already defeated her, didn't you?

And since it looks like doing that restored all the people she'd captured back to their original selves, all's well that ends well!

Not to mention she left a Holy Grail behind as a bonus! Really, what more could you ask for?

...That's true. I still don't know exactly what that was all about...

But you're right. The important thing is that you're okay, and New York is back to normal.

I think we can and should just be happy about that, Master. Besides, there's something else we need to do right now.

？！

Yes! I think that's our top priority right now too! And it looks like her energy signature's not too far away!

I bet she'll even begin the award ceremony as soon as we get to the stadium!

Hehe, we certainly had a lot of fun at this year's tournament as well, didn't we, Master?

...Hmm. Something about all this doesn't sit right with me.

Was this invasion attempt made by someone merely pretending to be Ishtar? Or was she actually a version of Ishtar in her own right?

What do you think, Dumuzid? You're not going to tell me this was all just some fever dream, are you?

I only wish it had been. Unfortunately, there was real gravity to the threat that Ishtar posed...

...which means she was nearly identical to this one. If anything, I sensed even more primeval vibrations in her.

Did you now? Come to think of it, she did seem more reminiscent of how she was during the Age of Gods. Then are you saying she was a clone of Inanna?

The future is not set in stone. I don't know what it may hold. All I can say for sure is:

You... You just wanted an excuse to say that, didn't you!?