Heroes Will Not Get Special Treatment!

That smell... I recognize that smell.

Hehe, so you noticed?

My perfume today is Vive la France No. 5, the only thing cosmic actress Crystal Marie ever wore to bed.

It has a wonderfully elegant aroma, don't you think?

No, it is not that. What I smell up ahead is...the smell of a Greek man.

And the most Greek man I know is Achill... Achill... A-Achill Achill Achill Achill

Fou fo fooou!

？！

A-A-AAA!

AAAMAAAZOOONEEES!!!

？！

Phew... There we go. That should help me stay calm for now...

What in the world was that, um...outburst just now!?

Oh, that? That was our company anthem, the song that symbolizes Amazones.com in verse.

I commissioned the famous composer, Amdusias P, to write it for us not too long ago.

It is certainly not the most complex piece of music, but I do enjoy it for how it lifts one's spirits.

I use it to mark important events, such as our new employee welcome party, or to relieve stress the instant I feel an onset of it, like I did just now. It is nothing if not bracing.

I-I see...

All right, now that we have collected ourselves, let's keep moving. I believe our next customer is ahead.

？！

Oh, yeah, you're right. I can't put my yubi on it, though.

Something off? Hmm. I'm not seeing anything that's clearly out of place on our end...

But I also have complete trust in your instincts, Master. If you think something isn't right, I'll go ahead and raise the alert level by one.

In the meantime, it looks like we found this floor's resident.

Nnn...

Oh, I recognize him. That's definitely Orion! The non-bear one!

Oh, it's you guys. So you finally made it here, huh... Nnn...

He does seem to be a Greek man, but it's not him. He's much too broad for that... Easy there, CEO. You can do this...

All right. We are from Amazones.com. I apologize for the delay. I take it you are Mr. "Best Hunter in All of Greece"?

Yeah, that's right. That's why I came here. And I've been waiting here ever since.

Hmm... Nope, the more I think about it, the less sense it makes.

？！

My reason for being here. Know what I mean?

Um, I can't say that we do...

Although, since this is Artemis's temple, it does make sense to me that you'd be here.

There! My point exactly! Don't you think it's awful that that's the only reason I'm here?

What do you mean?

Oho. Well, I can't refuse to answer a question from a woman as pretty as you, now can I?

Well, after this temple was first made...

My temple? Oh yeah, it's beautiful, isn't it?

But you know, don't you think it's strange that you're not here, Darling?

I mean, it's MY temple, right? You should totally be here, right? Right!

So I'll just go ahead and leave you here.

Ready or not, here I go♪

...And that's all she wrote. Can you believe that?

I don't even like it here all that much.

Honestly, I can't even relax, 'cause it feels like someone's always watching me.

I swear, why's every single room here gotta have a statue of her?

Well, like she said, this is HER temple. That kind of thing seems par for the course, if you ask me.

Very true.

Um, at any rate... I think I understand your situation now.

You're here now because Artemis told you to be here. Is that right?

Yeah, that's right. And she also told me not to let you guys past, and not to sign anything.

So, you mean to interfere with our work by refusing to sign for your package, do you?

Then it would seem we have another monster prick on our hands!

Let me just get one more thing straight.

If this is Artemis's temple, and you're here on her orders...

...does that mean she's the one who's been going after Amazones.com this whole time?

...I can't really speak to that. Wasn't part of my job description.

But, I think I can at least give you a hint.

The Amazons you've been looking for? They're all on the top floor of this tower.

!!!

...I see. Then I have all the more reason to deliver the rest of these orders ASAP.

As one of Amazones.com's business partners, I cannot let this stand, either.

I need them to get their operations back in working order as soon as possible...

...so that they can start selling my company's products with discounted shipping and handling prices.

So prepare yourself, man with muscles almost-but-not-quite as high in BP as my husband's...

I am about to make you kneel before me, and my radiance!

So you're a married woman, huh... .........Doesn't bother me.

Ugh! This is exactly what I loathe about men! Especially Greek ones!

...No, that's not right. Work is work, and a CEO should never discriminate between customers.

Just give me a moment sir, and I'll deliver the book you ordered...

"Celtont Jokes Guaranteed to Have Married Women Throwing Themselves at Your Feet"

...directly to your face!

Come on, don't yell my order out loud! Don't I have a right to my privacy!?

Raaah! AAAMAAAZOOONEEES!

Uh... What's that all about?

She's, um, using her company anthem to alleviate the overexcitement she feels when fighting a Greek warrior...

Phew. There were a few times when you started to look like a certain "A" to me, but I'm all right now.

All right, Mr. Not-"A," now that you've lost, you can either sign here or die where you stand.

Got it. Eh, now that I've put up this much of a fight and still lost, I think I've held up my end of the deal.

Good, everything seems to be in order with your signature. Here you go. We hope you will order from us again soon.

(Staring)

?

You know, I thought you were a little young at first, but now that we've fought, I get the appeal.

You're pretty hot too!

I especially like the bodybuilder thing you've got going. I love strong women. 'Course, I love weak women, too.

!!!

？！

(Silent, hasty retreat)

Um, Master, I think it might be best if you get as far away from them as you can.

Now that he's pushing her buttons directly, I don't think even the company anthem will help her restrain herself!

...Hm? Apropos of nothing, it looks like there's something happening behind Orion, too...

Fou!?

Honestly, I think you'll be even prettier when you're a little older. Though of course, you're real pretty now, too.

You might even be almost as pretty as a certain goddess. Man, I can't wait to see what the future holds for you.

... ...

Um, excuse me? I know there's a figurative bomb about to go off in front of you, but you may want to pay attention to what's happening behind you as well.

Behind me?

H-huh?

W-was this statue always this close? Haha...ha

Eep! That aura leaking through...! Don't tell me it's

Oh Daaarliiing...

Aaah! Artemis! What're you doing here!?

Just like a forest is the best place to hide a tree, the best place to hide me is in my temple!

Just the thought of you fighting by your lonesome for the woman you love was enough to give me shivers...

Did you forget the part where you put me here against my will!?

Well, I couldn't help that. You wouldn't be nearly as cool if you didn't do this alone.

But of course, if I was going to see you being cool on your lonesome, I knew I'd have to do so secretly, so I chose to watch over you while pretending to be a statue.

My heart was all aflutter at the idea of watching over you from above like, well, a god...

...and it was surprisingly novel and exciting to see you getting up to all sorts of things on your lonesome.

I see the whole idea of privacy is still completely foreign to you. It's almost refreshing, in a way.

And of course, while I do trust you, I was also just a teeensy bit worried that you might try something with other girls while I was away...

...and I figured that watching over you like this would let me stop you if you tried!

And I was right!

C-come on, be reasonable! I never would've tried anything if I'd known you were watching! Really, I mean it!

This is just like a sting operation, and I'm not a fan!

I'm not hearing an apologyyy!

？！

Th-that's it! Now that I think about it, this was the only statue we've seen without a bear Orion on its head...

...because it turned out to not be a statue at all!

Man, I was so caught up on scanning for more important things that the idea of playing spot the difference never even occurred to me.

...Hmph. Once again, this is exactly what I loathe about Greek men.

Oh, good. Lost your chance to get angry thanks to someone else beating you to the punch, huh? We've all been there.

It has nothing to do with that. I simply remembered that I had more pressing matters to attend to than dealing with this harassing customer.

Lady Artemis, there is something I wish to ask you.

Oh, sure. It makes sense that you'd have questions.

But I'm busy teaching Darling a lesson now, so I'll just use my goddess powers to answer quickly.

No, I'm not the one who abducted your employees or lured you here.

You're not? Then, does that mean you did not build this tower?

Nope! I just gave my permission when I was asked!

Though I did insist on putting Darling here in exchange for licensing my portrait rights.

But then, if you aren't the one behind all this, then who is?

Oh, it's really not that complicated. I bet some people will have already figured it out.

But whether you have or not, you only have twenty floors left to go.

The mastermind and their right hand are waiting for you, so instead of thinking hard about who they might be, you might as well keep climbing until you meet them yourselves.

Good luck! I know you can do it!

...I see.

True, continuing on our current path does seem as though it would be the quickest way to our destination. Let's go.

(Hmm. At this point, I think I can guess who it might be just by process of elimination.)

(I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't think it would actually come to this. I hope you know what you're doing.)

Phew! It's so much fun flying around to the beat in a world I know so little about, yes!

And it's made even better by the delicious nachos I get to eat after my delivery shift.

Ho ho ho. Zerco is overjoyed as well.

The Yule log cakes we get to eat on days like these are very good civilization. Sweet, too.

Heh, do not be ridiculous. Everyone knows meat buns are the king of winter junk food. (Blowing to cool it off)

Huh? Weren't you out riding your motorcycle not too long ago?

I am having it overhauled in the shop after pushing it too hard. In the meantime, I will use Llamrei Mark II.

She may not be as fast, but she is much more maneuverable, plus she can fly.

Not to mention she can carry many more things than the bike, so she is well suited for making deliveries, too.

I know what you mean. I don't think any other Servants are as used to carrying and delivering things as we are.

That's why I don't think it's any exaggeration to say that we're actually the true stars of this event! Hehehe!

I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I do know that we deliver medicine to wherever it's needed.

The only problem is that the patients listed on my rounds kept running away whenever I tried to administer it.

Though strangely enough, they would also always breathe a sigh of relief whenever I gave them the package I was asked to bring while I was headed their way anyway.

I'm guessing those packages serve the same function as the teddy bears pediatricians use to calm young patients?

Regardless, thanks to them, I was able to administer every patient's medicine by giving them the shot right after they'd breathed the sigh, so it all worked out in the end.

I know you're performing a service, since I'm sure that medicine you're giving them is good for them...

...but I can't say I like how it brings back some less than pleasant memories.

The medicine isn't the bonus! The bonus is the package!

(Munch munch munch)

There, nice and full. All right, time to get back to Christmas.

Hm?

Oh wow! Did you just

Say something very strange?

You do know Christmas is over, chirp?

There, see! The passing proprietress agrees with us!

I'm afraid all of you are the ones mistaken. Have you already forgotten?

It's a new year.

!!!

Ah!

That's right. Christmas may come but once a year...

...but I don't think there's anything strange about celebrating the next Christmas now that we're in a new year.

Besides, it's still winter, so the timing works out perfectly.

You're right. I'd forgotten that Christmas... holds unlimited possibilities, yes!

Khh. I guess I still have a lot more left to learn than I thought...

Ho ho ho. No need to panic, young one. One year for everyone else need not be one year for Santa.

There is every possibility that Christmas may come again during the winter eleven months from now.

And when it does, all we Santas need do is fulfill our sworn Santa duty to the best of our ability.

No wonder you are the elder Santa. Your words are wise indeed.

It's Christmas now? I didn't realize.

In that case, I'd better keep delivering as many presents (read: shots) as I can.

Very well then. Santa Brigade, move out!

Hurrah!

Um... I'm afraid Christmas is

It's okay, Madam. Don't worry about it.

For the sake of your mental health, you're better off just making peace with the fact that here in Chaldea...

...neither Christmas, Halloween, nor the Servantverse have any rhyme or reason to them whatsoever...