Like a Whip Cutting Through the Wind 4

... ...

Huyan Zhuo?

Master, there's something important I need to tell you. Would you hear me out?

It's really...really important.

？！

Well?

That's weird.

I was sure Huyan Zhuo using Master as a model would take their relationship to the next level...

I see. So that was your plan all along, huh? Yeah, okay.

So how're things going with them now?

Totally normal, as you can see.

Dammit, I knew I should've eavesdropped on their conversation when I had the chance!

Why did I have to be all considerate and give them space!?

Ooh, what's going on? Something juicy happening?

I'm always super down to talk romance!

Talk romance...? I-I'd like to participate too, please!

I am!

I respect you more than anyone, which is why I think you'd be perfect for this role!

？！

Okay, then from here on, I'm going to embellish you as much as I see fit!

I see...

... ...

Well, everyone has their own perspective, so I'm not going to say you're wrong, but...

... ...

...what do you mean, the courage to master this event and finish the book has left you?

Waaaaaah!!!

？！

Basically, she lost her nerve.

？！

Lost...?

(Ahh, now I see. She managed to summon up the courage to ask Master to model for her...)

(...but now, she needs even more courage to actually see this through.)

(She knows if the book turns out bad, it'll reflect poorly on not just her, but Master, too.)

(So that extra pressure was too much for her, huh... This really is a tough club to work with.)

Hmm. Why are you scared, Huyan Zhuo? Are you worried readers are gonna mock you?

Yes, I am...

I don't think I could take that...

Oh gods, I wish I could just turn into a clam and sink down to the bottom of the deep sea...

I think it'll be fine, since it's so much fun to read.

Unfortunately, negative feedback tends to make a stronger, more lasting impact than positive feedback does.

Even more so for someone like Huyan Zhuo.

Not hard to see a single bad review knocking her out of commission for days on end.

Still, this is really bad, even for her.

I had a feeling that might be the case.

Hmm, I knew disparagement was no good. It's as evil as the Four Corrupt Officials/Six Traitors!

That bad?

Uh-huh.

Aah! What the hell!?

Where did you come from, evil spirit?

If you're scared of being disparaged, why not just nip the disparagement in the bud?

Huh?

What do you mean by that? Explain yourselves, or you're not gonna like what happens.

Yikes! If we still had spines, we'd be getting shivers down them like crazy right now!

...Ahem. At any rate, Burnunnos is a deity born from slander and disparagement.

So it seems to us that all you need to do is find the root of this disparagement and tear it out before it spreads.

That way, you should be able to keep Huyan Zhuo's...inclinations from getting out of control. At least, that's what we think.

Hmm, I see.

So like, you think this could really work?

Huh? Wh-wh-what do you mean?

If you're scared of getting disparaged...

...then we just need to find the guys who seem most likely to do it and kill them all before they get a chance!

Hey, yeah! Good idea!

"Hey, yeah! Good idea!"?

I see. So that's why you called on me.

You got it. So what do you say, Mr. Zhuge Liang? I don't suppose you can track these guys down for us, can you?

Please! It would be a big help!

That said, we know we haven't exactly given you a specific target...

...Hmm.

It'd be one thing if we were on a planet with a vast information network, but within a Singularity, it shouldn't be too difficult.

Whoa, really?

But I'll be honest with you: I have no intention of wandering around in this damn heat to look for them.

(Munch, munch)

So I think this is where you come in, Lady Xu Fu.

Huh? Wait. You mean you're pawning this job off on me!?

Basically, yes.

You've been complaining incessantly about how bored you are, so this seems like a fine way to kill some time.

Whaaa...? This isn't what I had in mind.

？！

Nnn...

Sorry, Master, but even for you, my answer's still no.

Got it.

Well, it's probably better if I do it anyway, since this is way out of your league.

...Huh? What'd you just say? Did you forget I was doing this stuff way, WAY before you?

What do you mean, out of my league? You really think anything could be too tough for me, but not for you?

I'm sorry. Please, just forget I said anything.

All right, Yan Qing, let's get going.

... ...

...Rrraaagh! Hold up! I'll do it!!!

Be my guest.

He tricked me!!!

？！

I knew what he was doing! I knew it! And I still fell for it anyway!

Ghh, stupid Zhuge Liang. He and Sima Yi should both be looking up to me, but I always get the feeling they're mocking me instead...

I-I'm sure they have lots of respect for you, Xu Fu.

(Sniff) Maaash...

？！

Really!? Yay! Make it almond jelly and strawberry then!

Me too! I want ice cream too, Leader!

？！

Yaaay!

Ice cream's great and all, but are you sure we're going the right way?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, a little Dun Jia luopan, and...

Spin, spin, spin, spin those pretty wheels♪ If the priest faces right, then the Taoist turns her heels♪

What a weird song!

I wrote it myself.

Whup. I'm picking up looots of badness south-southwest of here.

C'mon, let's go!

Right! Come on, everyone!

Mmm, this ice cream is yummy! Okay, now I'm ready to kill 'em all!

There, found them! See? I knew this'd be a piece of cake for me!

？！

Burn... Burn...

Everything in this world sucks... I hate everything everyone I hate likes...

Whenever I see fans getting excited about a new book, I want to rain on their parade...

I feel most at peace whenever fans lose an argument and seem furious...

I hate something else in my life, so I just want to feel better by beating up on some rando...

I haven't actually read any of these books, but who cares...?

What a jerk!

Yup, this is hell all right.

It's okay for everyone to have their own opinions, but this is just disparagement for disparagement's sake.

Well, Huyan Zhuo?

Ulp... Everything she says is spot-on...

What!? No it isn't! Not even close!

This is no time to be a people pleaser! You've got to stand up for yourself!

D-do you think I can? Even though I can barely draw a straight line...

Master, Master. She just needs one more push to get over the hump!

...I'm sorry, but that's not fair to the real professionals.

Of all the times to be earnest!

Still, even if you are just being nice, I feel better now! I'll do the best I can!

...!

Th-that's right. I tend to forget it, but I'm still one of the strongest warriors of Mount Liang!

Try to remember that from now on.

Yes... You're right.

If someone's going to diss me to my face, I should just punish them with my bian BEFORE I collapse into a blubbering mess!

？！

All right... I'm ready! Please watch over me, Master!

My name is Huyan Zhuo!

I am the one who shall destroy any who would diss me just because I don't like them!

That's no fair... I didn't even do anything...

But you're totes going to!

Now that we've seen your motives, it's basically just a matter of time.

So we're just gonna kill you all!

I'm very sorry about this, but we're still going to do everything we can to defeat you!

Aaarghhh...

But just remember this... Even if you defeat me, there will always be another wave of flames...

Dis...dis...dis...dis...disparagement is truly the flower of the internet... Urk.

If you ask me, flowers like that should just wither and die!