Shop 20: Records of Computer Game Duels

And so...

We arrived at this arcade after hearing there was an event where we can get a kuso ton of points!

？！

I'm afraid I don't see much appeal to figures inside a screen, so I don't think I can be of much help...

Don't worry! I've got this!

And since it's a three-on-three game, I've already called in the perfect reinforcements.

Queue up, Gamer-classes!

I am here to help.

My understanding is that my skills with video games will actually be of help to you now, Master.

As surprising as it was to learn that, my mission remains unchanged.

I will mow down opponents on the other side of the screen with the same fervor I used to defeat enemies eye-are-ell.

Rest assured, Master, I will not let you down!

That being said, this is my first time visiting an arcade, so there may still be some aspects with which I am not familiar...

But I promise you that the video game skills I honed in Chaldea's rec room will help lead us to victory all the same.

Hmm. I'm mostly into online games, so I'm not really thrilled about playing in person like this.

Don't get me wrong, Akiba's totally my kind of town, but it's still outside, you know?

I'd much prefer to stay indoors than venture out here. Isn't that the case for you, too, Princess?

Quit your whining, Sergeant Gacchan! Sure, I've never taken part in a tournament like this before, either...

But if shut-ins like us can't show what we're made of here, where CAN we!?

Or do you want this event to end only to have everyone be like:

"Say, where was the otaku crew during all this? If they were gonna show up anywhere, I would've thought it'd be Akihabara."

Yeah... Good point!

In fact, thinking about it now...if I play my cards right, I can totally spin this to my advantage!

The next time Maman gives me grief about doing nothing but playing video games...

I can just tell her I long ago foresaw that these specific skills would be what saved us, and I've just been training. Then she should cut me some slack!

？！

It looks like the tournament is about to start. Good luck, Osakabehime, Tomoe, and Ganesha!

I wish you luck as well. If it would help, I'd be glad to carve you a good-luck totem.

I am curious to see what you would make...but no, that's okay. I do appreciate the thought, though. Okay, here goes nothing!

I do not know much about games of this nature, but I do of course have an eye for the tides of battle.

And unfortunately...it seems like the tide for this one is against us. Am I wrong?

No, I don't think you are.

(Anxious)

...

？！

(Ulp. I'm used to being the only girl in a group of geeks, so I've had experience with this kind of attention, but...)

(I knew it... This truly is a beast of a different nature!)

(Those men standing behind the game cabinet are staring at me so intently, and in a manner with which I am thoroughly unaccustomed!)

(I can sense myriad feelings behind those gazes...interest, contempt, anxiety, curiosity, derision, and hopefulness...)

(Truly, this is unlike any other battle in which I have participated... I am not sure what to make of it!)

(Tomocchi's so nervous that she's only operating at about eighty percent of her usual skill level.)

(And as for Gacchan...)

... (Face frozen in place)

(Crap, crap, crap! Our mainstay's so nervous that she's down to less than half her usual skill level!)

Phew... We made it to halftime, but we are going to need to make a major push in the second half if we are to win.

I'm so sorry, guys, I really am. Even I didn't think I was gonna freeze up that much out here.

I'm telling you, no shut-in should ever have to endure so many eyes on her at once!

You can whine all you like later! Right now, we need to figure out how we can play at our usual level!

Perhaps I could try General Asahi's method of inspiration?

It involves me slapping you on the back as hard as I can!

Nooo! No gym class stuff! Anything but that! I wanna be indulged, not punished!

Ugh, I wish I could play from my kotatsu...while hiding away from all those guys staring at me...

Wait... That might be it! Gacchan, what if you played from inside your statue thing? That'd help, right?

Well yeah, sure. But how can I operate the joystick and buttons and stuff from in there?

Don't worry about that now! Just try getting in and seeing how it feels! Next: Galatea!

Yes?

You're a super statue expert, right?

Do you think you can modify this one?

Hmm...

Yes, I think so.

Yosshaaa! This is it! Or really, it's our only option!

Okay then, go for it, Galatea! And please hurry! We only have a few more minutes left!

Wait. Huh? Um, you do know that, technically, this statue's made with divine power and all, right?

That won't be a problem. My chisel is also imbued with divine power.

Uh, no, I didn't mean it like that. I meant more like, it's supposed to be respected.

Try not to move. I'm going to modify it with joints that will let you move about more freely.

Gaaah! Couldn't you at least wait until I got out!?

Done.

Hm? Hmm...?

Whoa! I should be able to operate the controls from in here now!

...Huh? What's this thing do? (Click)

RGB LEDs!? What the...!?

I found some LEDs lying around, so I tried wiring them up as well. I can see why this is called an electric town.

Whoa, Ganesha's like her own gaming PC now...

I kinda wish you'd asked before outfitting my statue with this kind of stuff...

But, I'm not gonna worry about it for now!

Indeed!

？！

Yes, Master. I am taking a page from Lady Ganesha's playbook.

By limiting my field of vision, I will be better able to focus on the game right in front of me.

The manner in which that outside attention distracted me shows that I still have a long way to go...but for now, this is the best I can do to overcome the challenge at hand!

All right! Let's turn this thing around!

Ya...

Yaaattaaa!!!

Phewww. That was close.

It was by no means an easy victory, but victory is ours! I dedicate this triumph to you, Master!

That's right! We won! Hehe, wasn't I subaramazing out there, Ma-chan!? Come on, say it!

I agree, you were all amazing. Congratulations, everyone!

？！

Hmm... Well, since you asked...would you mind patting my head!?

？！

I'm sure! Now go on, give it a shot!

？！

Oh geez, oh geez... Th-this is nice... Really nice...but...

I-I'm sorry! I'm still not ready for this kind of thing yet!

Oh man, I thought my kokoro was gonna burst...

And I must thank you as well, Lady Galatea. We could not have won without your help.

Thank you, but I did very little. It was already an excellent model to begin with.

I've never had the pleasure of working on such a plump, lazy, lucky statue before. I learned a lot from it.

Are "plump" and "lazy" supposed to be compliments? ...Eh, whatever.

Anyway, these mods should wear off eventually once my Spirit Origin repairs itself, right?

?

Why are you cocking your head like thatAah! You patched these lights into the AC controls!?

Gaah, I can't turn these things off! Make 'em stop!

I don't wanna be a gaming statue forever!

Hmm...

Is something wrong, Xuanzang Sanzang? You've been staring at that shelf of figures for a while now.

Oh, hi, El-Melloi. I just happened to notice something interesting about these. See their names?

Yes, I see Indra, Bishamonten, and the names of some Buddhist and other gods. What about them?

I couldn't help but notice they're all girls, though I don't know why that is.

Hmm. I'm hardly an expert on the subject, but I have heard this sort of thing happens a lot in certain Japanese subcultures.

Those figures are probably from various media properties, though I don't know whether they're anime or game-related.

So do you ask because, as a Buddhist priest, you have a strong opinion about such depictions of your gods?

Definitely.

They're awesome!

R-really?

As far as I'm concerned, all that matters is that they're made with passion!

So yeah, these figures are all totally valid expressions of faith.

It's a sad but undeniable fact of life that when humans forget a supernatural being's name...

...it tends to be the first step to no longer believing in or worshipping that being, either.

Compared to that, making the Buddha into a girl is no big deal at all.

The important thing is that people like these figures so much...

...that they want to keep them nearby and look at them whenever they feel like it.

And that's exactly the passion I sense in these!

(I don't think the, uh, passion that went into these figures has much to do with faith...)

Yup, this is all great.

I feel beyond compelled to pray here on the spot.

...

I bought the one you were looking for, Teacher. ...Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?

Oh, no, don't worry about me. I was basically just passing through!

Besides, I'm in such a good mood right now that I think I'm gonna go look for more Buddhist statues like these!

Later, guys! May the Buddha's protection be with you!

...So these figures with the Buddhist gods' names got the seal of approval from Chaldea's local high priest.

Apparently, any statue named for a Buddhist god may be a symbol of faith...regardless of the form it takes.

The logic does hold up, but still... Hmm...

Teacher? Are you sure I'm not interrupting?

Not at all. I was just thinking up a new assignment.

Anyway, let's see what you got... Oh, no. This won't work. I'm sorry, I should have been more specific.

Huh? What's wrong with it? It's got "Admirable Warfare" in the title, and I was told it's the newest one in the series, XI.

Yes, that's all correct. However, the newest entry in a series isn't necessarily the best one. In this particular case, there was sort of a developer shuffle between releases due to a bunch of administrative cock-ups, and the new team changed all the systems everyone loved in X, which ended up ruining the game's balance and #%^&ing it up beyond all recogni

Whoa, whoa, please watch your language, Teacher! This is a family store!

Ahem. Sorry. I didn't mean to get so worked up. Anyway, don't bother with that one.

If you really want to study strategy and geography all at once, then I'd recommend X, the previous game in the ser

Hm? Did anyone else just hear someone swearing?

If we did, it couldn't have been our sister, so it's not our problem.

Now, have you decided on what you want?

We only have enough money for one game, so you need to make a convincing case for your given choice.

Ooh, ooh, I'll start! I wanna get this one!

You can't go wrong with a modern-day school setting. It's a classic for a reason, right?

Let's see... The protagonist transfers to a new school where her classmates include a prince, a CEO, an oil baron, a mafia boss, and many other memorable characters. Hmm...

I thought a fantasy setting would be nice, so I chose this.

Hmm. A magic academy where the protagonist has five senior classmen, each of whom have mastered different magical elements, and where sparks begin to fly as she studies under each of them... I see.

What about you, Thrúd?

I chose one with a historical setting. In fact, it's set in the Age of Myth!

In this one, an apprentice Valkyrie encounters a number of different warriors, and from there

I don't know... Don't you think that might be a little too real for us?

(Nodding in assent)

Huh? B-but, I thought that's what would make it perfect for learning about romance.

You need to expand your imagination! True learning comes from venturing into the unknown.

(Wavering)

(Gasp, gasp...)

(Huff, huff...)

I knew this would happen. I knew it. We're all the same being, after all.

Deep down, none of us want to discard any of these choices.

Then what do we do? How're we supposed to only pick one?

There is one solution.

I'll release the seal on the top secret nest egg we've been saving for emergencies...

...and change the base rule to one game per Valkyrie!

Woooooo! Goooooolden! This is the most golden damn store I've ever seen!!!

Nothin' but golden-looking goodies as far as the eye can see! Isn't it great, Brother Tsuna!?

I was told we could purchase toys here, but I haven't seen any bamboo stilts or spinning tops.

Oh, those? I bet we could find some 'round here if we just kept lookin'.

Whoa, what're these? Sample toys we can play with? That's even more golden!

Damn, they've got some crazy stuff these days! Check out this glowing sword!

Oho. Is that the light of evil's bane? That would certainly be effective against many kinds of monsters...though the blade itself seems far too dull to be deadly.

It makes these great sounds, too! Listen!

That could be ideal for women and children to use for self-defense. Many people freeze up when confronted with monsters to the point where they can't even call for help, after all.

And whoa, check out this rad belt! Let's try this bad boy on... Aww, yeah! Goooooolden, baby!

Hell yeah! Ain't nothin' more golden than transformin' with a belt!

Even when it's just a toy, you can't help but get fired up!

...If you say so. All I can say is that you and I are very, very different, down to our Spirit Origins.

You think? Eh, that's prob'ly just 'cause I been materialized a little longer than you have, Bro. You'll get the hang of it!

Whoa, is that...? Be right back. Gotta check that aisle out!

And hey, don't be afraid to look around for somethin' you like, Bro! Whatever you want, it's my treat!

...Hmm.

Let's see. First, he put it around his waist... Then I think he went like this...

...I guess it didn't work. Pity.

(...What. The. Hell!?)