Section 6: Until I Meet the Ideal You

(Inhale... Exhale... Inhale...)

What's with all the deep breathing, missy?

Feeling seasick? If you've gotta hurl, it's better to not hold back.

Oh, no, it's not that. I never get seasick.

I guess I'm just kind of getting nervous.

Nervous?

？！

Yeah. I'm wondering if I really will get to see Perseus.

It's not that I didn't believe I would. It just didn't quite feel as real until now.

So that got my mind racing, and my heart pounding...

Like, what do I say when I see him? Is what I'm wearing now okay?

(Ooh, now she really sounds like a young girl in love. She's no Galatea, but I bet she'd still make a great motif!)

I get it. I totally get it!

Wh-who said that!?

You want to see the object of your affections, but you're scared of what'll happen once you do.

But fear not, lovesick one!

Your love is sure to turn out swimmingly! (Sung in perfect harmony)

Wow, you guys are in perfect sync! Are you actor Heroic Spirits!? Have you done a lot of musicals!?

I can understand why you'd think that, but no! They're actually pirates!

Blackbeard and Bartholomew Roberts!

Two of them? Is one of them a genuine Chaldean Servant, like we saw with Kālī?

Not exactly. They're, uh...

They're one chocolate split into two people! How did THAT happen!?

？！

Heh. Only those with a genuine wish to see someone they miss have the right to be here.

Of course, I would have much rather been here on my own, but apparently and unfortunately...

...Old Burly Blackbeard here happened to have the same type and degree of yearning that I did, so we ended up stuck together.

Who're you calling burly!? Believe me, I would've much rather been stuck with a pretty girl than you, but it is what it is.

Still, I think this is a miracle. After all those times I spent sobbing myself to sleep after having to throw away the chocolate I'd made for myself to make it seem like I was actually popular...

...God must've heard my prayers and finally decided to bless my pure, lovesick heart!

... ...

Huh? But, doesn't that mean you both want to see the same person?

I don't see how you guys could've ended up on the same river otherwise...

I don't know enough about how this works to answer that.

But our yearning definitely lines up in one way.

That's right. The person we both want to see so badly...

...is the girl of our dreams!

...Huh?

Ahh, I can't wait to finally meet her! It goes without saying that she's a stunning beauty...

...but she's also sure to dress in a sailor uniform, be kind to otakus, and occasionally wear glasses that look reeeally good on her...

And with an aura of mystery the likes of which has never been seen before, she's also sure to have bangs perfectly covering her eyes...

THAT is what the girl of our dreams is like, and that's who we're here to meet!

I-I see. Sounds like you guys have really thought this through.

I mean, I can tell you're super serious about this, but I'm still surprised your ideal is so...specific!

Hmph, now do you see? This is the dream of a man among men. It doesn't matter how cringe you find it.

We'll never change it for anyone! We couldn't even if we wanted to!

Huh? I don't think it's cringe.

Like I said, I can tell you're both serious about this. It's clear from your eyes that you really love this person.

If anything, I'm kind of inspired.

It's impressive you're able to talk so openly about what you love. In a good way!

Urk. Your eyes are no slouch, either.

In fact, I can hardly believe it. A pretty girl who's kind to otakus...?

Stay strong, Blackbeard!

The girl waiting for us at the end of this river is sure to be all that and more!

Oh, right! Good point, Bartholomew! I was almost about to settle for strawberry and forego the shortcake.

Though of course, strawberries are plenty delicious in their own right!

Based on how they're behaving, and from what I see of their river, it looks like their river's trait is

Hehehe, that's right. Our river's trait is "moe"...

And if that's not clear enough, let's just call it "affection."

And what better way to demonstrate affection than with objects that accumulated lots of it?

So that's why there are all kinds of figurines, wigs, magazines, and photos in that river.

They're things you both consider your treasures.

？！

We may have thrown them into the river, but don't think we did so lightly.

It took every bit of strength we had to toss our collections overboard.

We borrowed them from our originals when we came here. It's not stealing if you take from yourself!

So that's why Blackbeard and Bartholomew were so distraught about their things missing...

You get it now!? We've endured our own pain and suffering to make it this far!

Which is why we can't afford to lose!

I will do whatever I must to finally meet my perfect hidden eyes. If that means becoming a demon, then so be it!

Capricorn!

Ngh! Even I can tell their magical energy is skyrocketing!

They really are deadly serious about this!

So, I know we need to fend off their attacks while adding things to our river, like usual...

...but I have no idea what kind of item I could use to signify affection!

Like, I love the sea and swimming and stuff, but how do you turn that into objects you can throw into a river!?

？！

We're holding out so far by throwing in boulders from our emergency stockpile, but we can't keep that up much longer!

Isn't there anything we can do?

I'm so sorry, but I don't have any objects that signify my affection, either!

If I could go back to my room, then I could throw in my Fou doll and SenpI mean, I might think of something...

...but right now, I don't think I have anything on me that could help!

？！

Neither do I.

For the record, I have no particular fondness for poison. It is merely a means to my ends.

Though I do find it an interesting field of study.

？！

What was that? You want me to toss my collection of Lord Xiang Yu goods into a river? Are you out of your mind?

No, I'm not worried about running out. I have plenty of spares for this head ornament alone.

But there is absolutely no way I'd ever let go of anything even remotely connected to him!

Now that I've finally been reunited with him, I'm never leaving his side again, not even conceptually!

Oh, but if you want me to share some pain from the spear he gave me, that I wouldn't mind. Well? Go on. Have some.

Huh? You want me to give up my Lady Yu collectibles?

Why would I ever do that? Forget it. Never happening.

It might seem like I made a lot, but I cursed each and every one myself with lots and lots of love.

There's no way I'd ever hand them over to anyone else! The things I love are for me and me alone!

I-I'd sooner burn them than have them be thrown away for no good reason!

？！

？！

Even if it would, we don't have the resources to send anyone in to help you!

I'm sorry, I wish we did, but we just haven't been able to refuel quickly enough!

Mwahahahaha! Just give up! It's no use! We'll be marrying the girls of our dreams in no time!

Ridiculous though they may be, their feelings are genuinely powerful.

Even if we did scrounge up an effective item or two, it would not be enough to move the needle against their onslaught.

Indeed, there is no point in bringing in only a few such items. We will need a great deal of them to make any headway.

But then, what can we do!?

Damn. Guess I got no other choice.

You have an idea, Beard Guy?

Sure do. As a matter of fact, I got plenty of stuff I feel real affection towards.

Honestly, I really don't want to let any of it go, let alone throw it into a river...

...but I owe you people for fighting all the other battles so far. If this is what I have to pay to make us square, then so be it.

？！

Is that...a coin?

It would appear to be a silver coin. Surely that is not all you have, no?

You said you need a whole bunch of affection items, right? Dammit, guess I got no choice...

Whoa! I've never seen so many coins all piled up in one place before!

I can promise you, I've got tons of affection for these things.

I devoted my life to gathering these coins, but I'm willing to let a whole bunch of them go.

After all, I can't let our ship stop here after we've come this far, or it'll all have been for nothing. So just this once, I'm going all out!

Columbus's coins are pouring into the river like a waterfall...

...and I think they're generating a powerful forward progression vector!

I have a LOT of questions I'd like to ask, like "Where were you keeping THAT many coins on you?" and "How the hell are you getting them all out?"...

...but for now, they definitely seem to be the kind of affection-loaded item we needed!

Now instead of just playing defense, we can start to go on the offensive as well. Let's send these guys packing!

G-got it!

Thanks, Beard Guy! And I'm sorry you're having to use all your money!

Hey, it's like I said. Under the circumstances, I got no other choice.

Besides...you've always needed money to get ships moving.

Good grief, this is starting to feel downright immoral. Well, least now I know what it's like to spend with abandon.

Dammit! We're losing ground!

Come on, Blackbeard! This is no time to still be holding on to that collection you're always bragging about!

That? The more I was looking at it, the more I started thinking I just couldn't bear to part with it...

But never mind me! You've still got some of your top secret hidden eyes stash, right!? Throw it in!

No way! Why should I have to give up my greatest treasure before you give up yours!?

Give me that! If you won't go through with it, then I will!

What do you think you're doing!? Don't you know throwing away another man's booty is an act of war!? Not even my crew would ever stoop that low!

I might believe you, if you weren't trying to get ahold of mine while pretending to stop me, you dirty pirate bastard!

They're fighting each other now! I knew there'd be disadvantages to their team-up! Now's our chance!

All right, time to finish this!

Ahh... It was a glorious dream, while it lasted...

Nooo... My chance to finally meet the hidden-eyed girl of my dreams...

Oh man, they seem really distraught. Now I feel kind of bad.

Well, don't let it get you down too much. In one sense, this kind of thing happens all the time with them.

But don't worry. They're...resilient. Just like you'd expect pirates to be.

Hehe... Hehehehe...

Huh!? One moment you're sobbing, now you're laughing like you're untouchable!? Did you go mad or something!?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a wreck. Tears in my eyes. That's the pure, unbridled truth.

But, there's something else I need to admit, too.

Yeah. If our wish really had come true...

If we really had met the girls of our dreams at the end of this river...

...then we'd no longer be able to enjoy the search for them!

When you think about it that way, well, it still sucks, but...maybe it's not all bad.

Plus, we've already met Suzuka, and she seems like the new kind of popular girl who's kind to otakus and also willing to mercilessly toy with us.

The path of hidden eyes love is steep and narrow. I never expected I'd be able to master it in a day.

Which is all the more reason why it's such a thrill every time I meet a new hidden eyes along it.

I don't know about toying or hidden eyes paths, but I'm glad you're not mad about this.

But I will say this, milady.

If there's someone you want to see, you can't be half-assed about it.

So don't go having second thoughts now that you've won this figurative ticket forward off us.

Yeah. If nothing else, I don't want you going forward with any regrets.

As the saying goes, "Bangs once cut will never grow back." I came up with that one, of course.

Yeah, you're right. Thanks.

But, I think I'll be okay. I've already made up my mind.

If I have a chance to see the man I love again...then I'm definitely going to take it.

So don't worry, I won't let you guys down. I'll make sure I hold my head up high when I see him!

Hoo, baby! Talk about bittersweet!

I usually wish for a pox on the heads of couples lovey-doveying it up at Christmas and Valentine's Day...

...but maybe I can congratulate you just this once!

And even if it doesn't turn out exactly how you hope, don't worry.

You already know the perfect hairstyle for covering your eyes if you need to shed tears in sorrow. (Never missing a PR beat)

I've never met anyone like those guys before.

They weren't easy to beat, but...thanks to them, I think I'm ready now.

I might be nervous, but I'm not uncertain. Not at all.

All right... One last stretch before the goal! Let's do this thing!

(I thought you might have your own reasons for wanting to go down this river, but I never thought you'd take it THAT far.)

(...Who are you, really?)