Section 5: Old Spider

All right, Mr. Moriarty, tell us what you found out.

Very well. May I have everyone's attention, please?

As you know, a priceless relic was stolen from this estate.

Yesterday, my apprentice and I talked to all of you on behalf of our employer, Mr. Sieg, to make sure nothing had been overlooked.

To leap ahead somewhat and begin with the conclusion, each of you has your own reasons for being a perfectly viable suspect.

Mr. Diarmuid is on the brink of retirement. Mr. Yan Qing is worried about his subordinates' future.

Mr. Izo is concerned with how the growing marine transport industry will encroach on his business.

But the one thing you all have in common...is that none of you can throw caution to the wind.

Should one of you step out of line, the others will devour you. So, you wait.

Then one day, Mr. Sieg shows up offering to let you bid on an invaluable relic. No doubt the news nearly gave you heart palpitations.

Surely, this would be the chance you have been waiting for; a chance for something to change. Am I correct so far?

...I'd say so. Yan Qing and Izo probably already realized this, but yes, I have been thinking of retiring.

Though of course, I would never do so while leaving my work unfinished.

And that brings us to my first point.

You wish to break this stalemate, so you mean to acquire the relic.

This is, however, far from the true equation.

While the three mages see it as their ticket to a surefire victory, and each wishes to get his hands on it no matter the cost...

...the three gang leaders don't care who gets it, for the stalemate will be broken regardless.

Thus, none of them have any motive to steal it. In fact, they have a clear motive NOT to.

...Okay, since it sounds like you've taken me off the suspect list, I'm just gonna ask: What is this motive?

Tell me, what would you think if one organization suddenly came into a great deal of money under these circumstances?

Well, I'd probably suspect they stole the relic and sold it.

...Ah. Got it.

There you are. In essence, as long as the current state of affairs continues...

...none of you are free to move any large sums around, whether from selling the relic or anything else.

I imagine that would be quite a serious problem for an organization, no? Especially yours, Mr. Izo.

...Well, I wasn't planning on keeping this secret, but I am expecting a nice bit of cash in the near future.

If I stole that relic, you'd all only have more reason to suspect me.

Precisely. All of this is to say that the three gang leaders each have their own reasons for wanting the auction to go ahead.

Even if Mr. Diarmuid had lost, it would give him a perfect excuse to retire, to gracefully bow out.

After all, Mr. Yan Qing's goal was only ever to ensure his subordinates would be accepted by this city.

But if either party had stolen the relic, that would cause problems that no amount of money could resolve.

As for Mr. Izo's reasons, well, we just went over those mere moments ago.

We would seem to be left with one of the mages, but this is just as implausible.

Why is that?

Exactly!

If one of them were to engage in foul play, he would still need to wait for the auction's results first.

Indeed. After all, nobody here could be certain that they would get to keep the relic for themselves!

？！

Between his and Mr. Diarmuid's funds, Mr. Alexander was quite confident in his chances at winning the auction.

Prince of Lan Ling was less sure in his bidding prospects, but he also believed he had a chance at charming the relic off of whoever did win.

As for Count Vlad, if he ended up losing the auction, he had every intention of seizing the relic by force.

Of course. Any true mage must be willing to get his hands dirty when necessary.

But, that willingness to use violence does not come at the expense of my good sense.

And employing that sense suggests there is nothing to be gained in stealing the relic. As such, I would never do so.

Hold on. How is seizing the relic any different from stealing it?

Stealing is an act of thievery. Seizing it by force is simply a noble doing what he must.

That is the crucial difference.

There you have it.

Every one of our guests, be they mage or gang member, had their honor on the line.

But the culprit feared letting the relic go more than he did its theft.

If he were to let it get away from him even once, everything his family had passed down for generations would be lost.

That would remain the case even if he managed to steal it back later.

Thus, the relic leaving his possession was the one thing the culprit simply couldn't bear.

？！

...Yeah, that's true.

I'm the only one here with something I need to protect, even if it means reducing myself to thievery.

The relic my family has kept safe for generations had been...tainted by the Subspecies Holy Grail War.

It became a catalyst meant for summoning Siegfried.

...Isn't that a great honor?

My family respects the true Siegfried. We have no interest in a pale imitation.

Then, you planned this whole thing!

Yes. This was my intention right from the start.

I had hoped your suspicions of one another would be strong enough to prompt you to wipe each other out.

There was plenty of fuel for that fire, after all.

Though my...criminal consultant did warn me not to take matters that far.

？！

(Whistling innocently)

Once the mages and the leaders of all three gangs were dead...

...the gang members would rampage about, killing anyone who even looked like a potential rival.

At that point, nobody would stop to wonder where I went, and it would be all but impossible for anyone to track down the linden leaf.

(Psst, Izo.)

(Right.)

... ...!

And there's one more thing I was lying about. I'm a mage, too.

What just happened...!?

Izo!

...!

Dammit, he jumped out the window! After him!

... ...

What? Don't tell me you're giving up already?

I'm not. I just didn't want to wreck my home with my magecraft.

I have quite the collection of precious artifacts and books inside. You understand.

You and I have been good friends for a long time...

But no more. Fire!

Die!

Sorry, but guns won't work on me.

Gaaah!

Tch... Fine then, close combat it is

Get a hold of yourself, Diarmuid! He's a mage!

If bullets didn't faze him, what good do you think swords will do!?

Yan Qing's right! Calm down!

Ghh... I can't believe he had us all fooled this whole time!

Stand back! We'll handle this!

Very well then, the winner of this battle shall claim the relic. Are we agreed?

You sneaky bastard! All right, then!

Fine with me!

(Just as I planned!)

Step aside, my good gang leaders!

All right, Master. I trust you know what to do?

？！

Very good! Let's get the opening battle of this Subspecies Holy Grail War started!

... ...

Dammit... I had countermeasures ready for the three mages...

But I never expected you to join in the fray, Moriarty...

Back when I was alive, or perhaps in one of my secret made-up storiesnot that the distinction is an important one anyway...

...the aftermath of this incident always left something of a foul taste in my mouth.

No, let me be more precise.

Overlooking you as a key variable made the situation vastly worse.

This city, which should have flourished in a burgeoning era of maritime trade was instead obliterated.

So I think it's best for all involved if you hand that linden leaf over to me.

I didn't...mean for things to go this far... Well, no, maybe I did...

As far as I'm concerned...this relic is the greatest treasure in the world...

I couldn't possibly...let it be taken...for some stupid...Subspecies Holy Grail War...

Well that's no way to live.

If Siegfried were here now, I have no doubt he would say something to the effect of...

"I am happy to answer any summons with an eye towards the future."

That does, of course, mean he may end up serving wicked people at times, but that's just part of the deal.

More than anything, Siegfried, as a Heroic Spirit, would be thrilled to help bring about a brighter future.

He was a good man, and a true hero. Surely anyone who thought well of him could respect that wish.

？！

You expect me...to believe that...?

That he would be...thrilled...to degrade himself in the service of others...?

Believe what you will, but I can guarantee you that I am right about this.

How's that for convincing?

...What a devious con man you are.

I knew I shouldn't have trusted a man styling himself as a criminal consultant...

Is he...dead?

Something like that.

Ow ow ow... How're you feeling, Prince of Lan Ling?

I can't even move. How pathetic... This means the winner is

Curse you, bartender... How in the world did you get so strong...?

Trade secret!

Now then, it would seem we have ourselves a clear winner, no?

As I've defeated the duplicitous fourth mage, I believe that makes me, Moriarty the bartender, the winner.

...Wait, wait, wait! Wait just a damn minute! This isn't what we agreed on!

Think about it. Now that you don't need to spend a fortune on the auction, doesn't this put you at an advantage?

And while I'm at it, don't you think it's about time that the three of you had a serious talk?

This business of the three of you deadlocked as you are may keep the peace, but you are all vulnerable to outside forces in consequence.

I could suck this city dry in just a few days if I wanted to, you know.

I could spin my web as any spider would, and have this city trapped and helpless in my grasp in no time.

I... That's...

...Yeah, I guess you've got a point.

Hey, Yan Qing, Diarmuid. C'mere a sec.

...I'm sure you guys are just as sick of this stalemate crap as I am.

The old man is right. 'Bout time we put our honor aside.

But how will our gangs survive without honor?

Maybe they won't. But you know what?

At least that's better than all of us getting killed.

That's...

... ...I can't argue with that.

Honestly, I wish we'd done this sooner.

Guess I lost the moment I let myself be seduced by the comfort of the status quo.

I-I'm not goin' along with this! These bastards've been

Yeow! B-boss!? What's the big idea!?

One more word out of you idiots, and your heads come tumbling from your necks.

...Yeah, all right.

I don't have to tell you what my condition is. And you'll do everything you can to make it happen, eh?

We want to be full citizens of this city. That's the one thing I'm not budging on.

...I understand.

There's bound to be some pushback with this change of direction, but I promise I'll keep it in line.

In exchange, I'll sell my hideout and other property, and make sure to appoint a levelheaded man as my successor.

As for my men who went out of their way to make your guys' lives hell...

...I'll send you a list of their names and tell their families they're away on business.

Sounds good!

？！

That's just how it is with them. They're still villains at heart, after all.

They can never hope to coexist in prosperity, nor can only one of their gangs hope to flourish without drawing the others' ire.

So if they can't coexist in prosperity, they can at least coexist in adversity.

They'll all suffer in turn, but they'll also all continue to survive.

Not, perhaps, an ideal lifestyle, but it comes with the assurance that they will get to die peacefully in bed.

(Sigh) Well that's just great. We've got nothing at all to show for our efforts.

...If anything, I'd say we're slightly worse off than we were before.

All that running around I did for the auction, wasted... Good grief...

Bartender.

Tell me, what do you plan to do with that linden leaf?

You're better off not knowing that, Count Vlad.

I might be amenable to sharing that knowledge for a price, but I sense such an arrangement would not be to your tastes.

Not to mention one wrong move, and you could end up being pumped for information yourselves in less than savory ways.

Hmm.

...Yes, I suppose you're right. I should just accept my defeat, and begin searching for my next opportunity.

Damn... I was really set on getting that catalyst and winning the Subspecific Holy Grail War with it.

Looks like it's back to square one in my search for a catalyst.

...Well, at least I will not be leaving completely empty-handed.

We will meet again one day, Sir Moriarty.

James Moriarty. I'll remember that name.

Why thank you.

I'm always glad to make connections with new mages.

...You're a shrewd one, aren't you.

All right, we're going to head back to our respective organizations now. What about you two?

I see.

Go on then, get out of here.

If I never see magecraft again, it'll be too damn soon.

Going home, huh? Glad to hear it.

？！

...Sir Moriarty.

It would seem you are a far more devious villain than we mere thugs could ever hope to be.

Why, whatever do you mean?

We may have suffered some losses, but at least they weren't fatal.

I'll take that over the whole city being destroyed any day of the week.

I advise you all to live modestly from here on, gentlemen.

A spider cannot weave its web when darkness covers all.

As villains, it's your job to ensure that light and shadow come and go in equal measure.

Thank you for the advice. Personally, I hope I never see you again.

Damn straight.

You sure you want to stick with this guy, kid? I'd bail now if I were you.

Hey, even a shady old man like me has feelings, you know!

Right? You had fun, didn't you?

？！

...Now then.

All that remains is to erase Sieg's memories and strip him of his magecraft.

That should make sure he gives up on trying to get the linden leaf back.

？！

Well, no, not exactly.

The fact that the gang leaders and mages looked and acted like Servants means that this is only a dream.

The events of the Subspecies Holy Grail War no doubt happened differently, and in an another world entirely.

This little dilemma of ours was a fusion of two separate occasions.

The first, a time when a partnership I struck with mages destroyed this city. The second, a time when a Subspecies Holy Grail War took place...somewhere.

？！

...A fair question.

The man I met with requested my help in protecting a treasure that had been in his family for generations.

I offered him several pieces of advice.

...Once you've fanned the flames between the gangs as much as you can, fake your own death.

Convince the gangs that the relic is up for grabs now that you're dead, and that owning it will be their key to riches.

After that, all you need to do is take their thugs out whenever it's convenient.

But I didn't know he was a mage when I told him that...and as a result, the city quickly declined and ultimately faded away.

...Of course, as a criminal mastermind, my role in these events did not trouble my conscience.

But now that I'm your Servant, it's been eating away at me!

I swear, young man, you have no idea how difficult it is to be an evil Servant in the service of such a very GOOD Master!

...At any rate, when I looked back on this outcome...I chalked it up to a careless mistake.

An awful turn of events, brought about by a few miscalculations.

Of course, even now that we've changed the past, this remains firmly in the realm of the hypothetical.

History remains the same, as does its outcome. What we partook in here was merely an illusion...purely for my own gratification.

I assure you, I'm well aware of that.

...Yet even so, I needed to be certain this error was affixed permanently in my memory.

I needed to remind myself that a bright future such as this...

...can come to a sudden, cruel end with but a single mistake.

...Even if I should parse the records upon waking up, that still won't change what really happened.

All I can do is cast my mind back and wonder uselessly about what might have been.

？！

Oh? And what's that?

？！

... ...

...Indeed, indeed!

Humanity is currently in the midst of an unprecedented crisis. One mistake on our part could lead to the extinction of the human race.

So next time...

...you can be damned sure I won't miscarry so much as a single integer!

I can promise you that both as your Servant, and as your trusty partner!

Well then, it seems our time in this world is up.

Tell you what. Once we get home, I'll mix you a drink to make up for dragging you into this!

Really? I thought I was the first to do so. Do you mean this sort of thing happens often?

Hmm, so the king Servants and princess Servants renovate your room however they like, hm?

...Well, I'm glad to see you're enjoying yourself.

Now then, allow me to treat you to the drink of your life.

First we mix these together, shake it all up, and...

Here's your cocktail, young man.

I guarantee you'll like it.

？！

...So, what do you think?

？！

Right? Right? Welcome to the adult world!

？！

...Don't be so quick to fall for his trickery, Mr. Fujimaru.

Blast! Holmes!

That "cocktail" contains not a drop of alcohol.

It is merely fruit juice mixed together so as to taste more like a genuine cocktaila mocktail, to use modern parlance.

Though I suppose I can't blame you for being taken in, given the atmosphere...

Grr... Dammit, man! Can you not tell that we were having a moment!?

Uh, ahem, ahem. Listen, Master.

Alcohol really isn't very good for you, you know? Take it from an old man who's been there and done that.

？！

Well, I certainly can't approve of you becoming inebriated, Mr. Fujimaru.

Still, I hope you can accept Moriarty's good fatherly intentions. Though of course, in his case

If you so much as breathe the word "grandfatherly," I will post a list of your many failings and eccentricities on the bulletin board faster than you can say "stop!"

...

？！

Anyway, don't worry.

Once you really have grown up, I'll be the first to mix you a real drink!

I would very much like to be present for that.

Of course. I'll make sure to serve you my finest glass of mud.

Hahaha, so you're not even capable of tossing your enemies the merest of bones, are you?

Hahaha, why don't you put that mouth of yours to use for once and go kiss an oncoming train?

？！

Huh? But I really didn't put any alcohol in it.

... ...You're drunk on the atmosphere!?

Hey! Is it true you had some crazy stuff go down recently!?

I heard I was a bad guy. That sounds fascinating! You have to tell me all about it!

What was I like? Was I trying to take over the world?

Did I have a scar on the side of my face?

What's this...? Master is showing signs of intoxication!

...Hmm. What do you have to say for yourself, Moriarty?

But I didn't do it!

Master! Are you all right!?

'Sup! I heard there was something fun happening here, so I came to check it out!

Same.

Hmm. I guess we could start by stringing up Moriarty?

There you go. That's the ticket.

I can kick you all out, you know!

？！

That's right! It is, isn't it!

Okay guys, how 'bout this?

Yeah. There's one thing I'm pretty sure we can agree on...

Let's all have a drink!

I've never had alcohol before, Master. I can't wait to try it!

？！

Aww.

All right, all right, one at a time! Now then...

What can I get for you, my good sir?