Day 4: Oppressive, Sadistic Nobility

Oho? I see you are both still in one piece... I suppose I can only expect so much of hired amateur thugs. Though of course, I knew that going in.

Fine by me. Their bad luck is our good fortune.

Now we get the pleasure of whipping them into "shape" ourselves! Hohohoho!

Then...you WERE the ones who sent those attackers after us! You should be ashamed of yourselves!

I'll say. It doesn't matter what sort of underhanded moves you employ outside the ring. In the end, victory goes to the ones who train the most dil

All's fair in love and war! And it is sometimes the tactics you employ off the field of battle that determine the winner!

Though in my case, I'm happy so long as I get to run around free to do as I like.

But that doesn't mean I'm gonna horse around! Just line them up for me, Commander, and I'll knock them down!

？！

I totally get your objections, believe me, but there's a reason we have to let them compete, meow.

Take off those cloaks and show them what I mean!

Keh heh heh. No international competition is complete without the presence of the great China!

Let's see, was it ni hao? Ni men hao? Whatever it may be, my fellow countrywoman is correct.

Objeción! That one is obviously from Europe, no!?

Don't be ridiculous! This is my niece, Hua Meiluo! I hireder, brought her along for her expertise in torture!

？！

Wh-what about, um, him...?

I was told it would be good luck for them to ride me, Lu Bu Fengxian, during festivals and such! Makes sense to me, since I'm just too strong to join the fight!

I'm here strictly as a vehicle, not a wrestler! I am a warrior out to become the strongest reindeer ever!

Reindeer like me don't show up because it's Christmas! Christmas comes around because reindeer show up!

A centaur!? Wait, never mind that. How can it possibly be okay to have a third member on your team!?

Don't be a fool. This man is my horse! Did you not hear it straight from his mouth?

If you mean to bar him, you would need to have the King of Knights and the King of Conquerors dismount from their steeds as well.

？！

Now I see. You have been exploiting loopholes in the rules to give yourself an advantage both in and out of the ring, yes!

You are certainly as underhanded as the little Santa said you were, but I see even that is not the whole story.

Underhandedness has become a core part of your arsenal, in every aspect of the fight.

So you are a ruda who is all about weapons!

I haven't the foggiest notion of what you mean, but I take it that is a compliment? Good! Then I must compliment you on your keen eye! Keh heh!

But...I still don't understand. Why would you do all that just to win?

You need to ask? What are presents if not rewards! And who should dole out rewards to the commoners?

The most important person in the entire world, of course. And that is obviously the emperor!

Did you know there is another Santa whose job is to hand out punishments instead of presents? I desire that job.

I never dreamed there was a way I could dole out such punishment legally! Just you wait, naughty children!

I don't know what all this Santa stuff's about. I'm just here 'cause they said I'd get lots of carrots if we win!

Also I felt like I should serve an out-and-out tyrant like this at least once!

Besides! I'm Lu Bu! I can't betray my lord if I don't have a lord to serve. Not that I have any intention of betraying anyone, of course.

Maravillosa! That is all exactly the sort of thing I'd hope to hear from a ruda! Now I can fight without holding anything back, yes! Let's go, Bradaman!

Right! Three against two or not, I'm sure I can still manage to

Oh yes, I almost forgot.

And I thought three was pushing it!

Kehehehe! They are no more than equipment I use, no different than any other weapon. Surely you do not object to a fighter using weapons of her choice?

Now, let us have a good, clean, fair tag team match!

Man, this is confusing! What even is a tag team match anymore? Talk about it being a jungle out here!

In the red corner, representing China, we have The Most Dangerous Team! And in the blue corner, representing Chaldea, we have the Quetzal Sisters!

You guys can figure out who wins on your own, 'cause this cat's furredI mean, fed up!

I've had my share of group battles before, but having to fight so many at once is such a pain!

Fighting in an open field would be one thing, but a ring is so confined. We need to find a way to turn the tables!

Hmm... Hmm...

Sorry, the only thing I can think to do is just look them right in the eye and appeal to their better nature!

We knights are all about duels, after all, and that's not any less true in a duel of intellect! What do you say, everyone?

If you'd all be so kind as to line up in an orderly fashion, I'll show you all, one at a time, how brightly we knights can

First, I have my Torturers occupy the ring's edges... And then, I turn the center into a poison pot!

Huh!? Hey! That's fighting dirty!

And now, for the finishing touch! Do it!

Like this, right? You're not going anywhere.

...!

Oh no! Now Bradamante's wrists are caught in the Iron Maiden's chains...!

Fou, fou!

After I surround you with Torturers, plunge you into poison, and hold you down with heavy chains, all that will remain is to look down at you from atop Red Hare!

I daresay there never has been, nor ever will be, a more perfect formation! Kehehehehe!

Just so you know, I'm Lu Bu, not Red Hare. Also, I have to say, actually carrying someone on my back like this is kind of annoying?

With most empresses, it's like, "Wei? Wu? Shu? Jin? Aren't those lands all kind of small?"

But with this one, it's like she came to power in a China that got rid of all those lands and clumped them together to form a much bigger nation... I dig it!

Khh! The more I struggle, the more these chains and the poison slow me down...!

Bradaman, if we don't do something drastic, we could end up losing! I'm trusting you to turn things around!

Me? Why me?

You're the one dealing with those chains. They may be a burden, but they're also an opportunity. As long as you keep your cool...you know what to do, yes?

Okay! I'll give it my best shot!

Sí muy buena! Okay, see you soon!

What!? Why did she just let herself sink down to her shoulders?

Now she's going underneath Bradamante...and letting Bradamante stand on her shoulders!

？！

Sí, this is a little rough without my full power, but I do still have my innate divine durability...

That said, I don't think I can last too long, no...

So I've got chains on my wrists, and enemies on all sides... This calls for one of the Fifty-Two Street Fighting Moves:

"The Time I Went to an Enemy Base to Settle Things Once and for All and Ended Up Fighting a Chain Death Match"!

Huh!? How is she pulling me towards her...!?

Is she more proficient in fighting with chains than I am!? There shouldn't be anyone these days who is!

Very well then, I'll just have to trap her inside my Iron Maiden...!

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Why me... I'm just the...referee...

Bradamante used glare from her shield to throw off Carmilla's aim...!

I feel bad for Jaguar Warrior, but at least Bradamante was able to take Carmilla down!

First, I take down the opponent I'm chained to as quickly as possible! Hyah! That just leaves the gang's leader!

She's headed straight for me now!? Hurry, Red Hare, get out of the way!

Now that I think of it, tight places like this ring aren't a good fit for me, you know? I like wide open plains where I'm free to run around. That, and betraying my superiors.

Even if I wasn't so into betrayal, I can't actually move at all with the Torturers crowded in so close. Sorry!

What!?

...We won, Quetzal Mask! Please, hang in there!

Olé... That's great to hear, yes... I'm just a little worn out from staying in the poison so long...

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Fou, fooou!?

(Sniff, sniff) Now that I think about it, I really don't like dealing with poison so overflowing with curses and malice.

That was always more that rat bastard Tezcatlipoca's thing.

Though I'm sure I could have lasted longer in my original Spirit Origin.

Quetzalcoatl...

Oh, but don't worry, no! I'll be fine after a bit of rest!

I took a quick scan just to be sure.

Her Spirit Core's not going to be falling apart anytime soon, but her Spirit Origin's definitely taken some damage.

It's not clear how long it'll last, or what might happen if she doesn't stay put...

All I can say for certain is that she needs plenty of rest.

I'm glad the moves I taught Bradamante helped you win...but I never expected you to end up like this.

Since I'm sure Bradamante can't bring herself to ask, I'll do it myself.

...Will you be able to compete in the next match?

No sé... I'm afraid I won't know until tomorrow.

Fou...

Moping will not help, no! I'm just sorry I can't dance a samba to cheer everyone up!

Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be fine! Just do what you all have to do and everything will work out, yes!

Yes... You're right. Between the post-match cooldown, recuperation, and preparing for the next match, there's no end of things we need to take care of.

...Okay, Quetzalcoatl, I understand. I'll be praying for your swift recovery!

In the meantime, I'll take care of everything else that needs doing. Just point me in the right direction, Manager!

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Right!

I'm sure everything will work out, yes. If things go really, really bad, I still have a trump card up my sleeve...well, ribbons.