Section 3: A Is for Arctic

Ha! Hiyaaa!

Huh!? You disappeared again!? Well, you're not escaping me this ti

What the...!?

Yeow!

Okay, I think that's enough of me beating you for today! Better luck next time!

Ghh! Y-you are so childish, you know that!?

(Sigh...) Man, you really got me good. I thought I had you with that last move.

All right, no more grumbling.

There wouldn't be a place for me here if I couldn't handle myself in a fistfight.

Besides, today was only hand-to-hand stuff. If we'd used weapons, things might've gone pretty different.

Even just watching from the sidelines, I can tell that black, uh, stuff of yours is trouble.

!!!

...I call them "Erlkönig."

Hm?

(Aw crap. This is gonna go on for a while, isn't it?)

(Dammit, I can't keep up with all this crap. I wish I could change the subject somehow, but)

Are you guys done sparring now? That was great!

Okay, Yan Qing, my turn next! Wooo! Let's do this thing!

Sifu Gareth! Great timing!

S-Sifu!? As in, Chinese for "master"!?

Sadly, I've already decided to close up shop for the day.

Huh!? But why!?

Well, for one thing, I get the sense you're the sort who can keep that "one more round" thing going ad infinitum...

...and for another, we're about to get going, right? So let's take a rain check.

Aw maaan!

Hehe...

？！

Oh? Spying on a lady's private thoughts? Is that any way for the Master of Chaldea to behave?

You're wrong, in any case. I wasn't smiling because I was appraising their fighting prowess.

I don't know the first thing about wushu.

？！

Hehe, I'll tell you!

Watching a bright, shining soul giving something their all never gets old. It always makes me want to poke my nose in and help them.

What about you? Are you going to charm the pants off me?

Fo...fooou...

Aah! I didn't know Cath Palug was so close by. Would you mind keeping him away from me?

Nnn... Gnnn...

Your breathing is quite ragged, Director. Is something wrong?

Have you come down with a disease endemic to the North Pole? Servants should be immune to such things, but you living humans remain susceptible.

So if you feel off in any way, let me know immediately, or I won't be able to help you.

...In fact, let's go to my newly finished infirmary now, Director. I'll use every method at my disposal to get to the bottom of your condition.

If you must do something, just stick to taking my temperature! I assure you, I'm perfectly healthy! I do my calisthenics every single morning!

But, Director Goredolf...

...you've been pacing around and grumbling to yourself for a while now.

Are you sure there's nothing on your mind?

Why don't we have some tea and try to relax?

Yeah. When you're anxious all the time, your brain tends to fixate on bad things.

What Ortlinde said! Oh, and I think I'd like scones to go with the tea!

You're a good cook, right, Director? Thanks for taking care of that, then!

Wait, wait, wait. Am I the one making the tea and scones in this scenario?

Ooh, is it teatime? That's perfect! I was just thinking I was getting thirsty!

Stop that, Gareth. Can't you see the director's got a lot on his mind?

If the look on your face is any indication, I'd say you're worried about the next area, right, Director?

I believe the manager there is

Yes, I know. The Avenger there told me earlier.

The next area's manager is Minamoto-no-Raikou. And what's worse...

...she's in her swimsuit Spirit Origin.

？！

Right? Doesn't that sound terrifying? I mean, she's about as berserk as a Berserker can get...

Who could even guess what might happen there!? All I know is I've got a terrible feeling about it!

She could even be running a Genji dystopia where she demands we undergo some incredibly harsh training and won't let us leave until we complete it!

Wow, that sounds great! I love a good summer adventure (read: intense training regimen)!

Why'd you even bother throwing that parenthetical in!?

？！

Of course not!

H-Hildr's right, Master.

The fastest route to Lady Skadi's Arctic Demonic Ice Castle is through Raikou's area.

That said, getting through won't be easy.

We'll have to honor the area manager's wishes while helping her boost sales, so...

Ahh, I gotcha.

The other areas might've gone well, but we still need to be on high alert for this one, huh.

Remember, we're dealing with THAT Minamoto-no-Raikou here. She's one of the few swimsuit Spirit Origin Servants who poses a significant obstacle.

Ideally, all three of us would go with you so we can be ready to deal with anything, but

？！

We've actually been having trouble with our connection to Chaldea for a while now.

It started this morning...

...Something's here. Who goes there!?

Ice fish!

More of those fish, huh.

Yes, I found more of them on the deck. They're just like the ones we saw our first day here.

I chased them off right away, but our comms have been on the fritz ever since. They must have jammed them somehow.

Ah, right. It was in your first day's report. I take it they're Skadi's familiars, or something like that?

That's right.

Given what happened, that's probably a safe assumption.

？！

Anyway, I don't think it'll be a good idea to leave the boat lightly guarded now.

So the three of us have decided to stay behind to guard the ship and Director Goredolf. Also to try to restore our comms.

？！

I'm sorry we won't be able to accompany you this time, but I promise we'll handle things here.

Fooou!

Aah!

Fou fou.

...Are you saying you'll stay here with us?

Fou!

All right, come here, you. There's a good boy.

I'm sorry, Fou. I bet you wanted to go to Raikou's area too, didn't you?

... ...

(Fou's suddenly very quiet...)

Mmm... Mmmmmm...

I believe I've heard everything I need to know about the upcoming area.

？！

I suspected it would pertain to the Genji... So, when do we leave?

？！

That's right! It is I, your very own Ashiya Douman!

It seems Lady Raikou of the Genji is in charge of the next area. As such, we will doubtless be working up a sweat!

Which is why I decided to change into my Polar Bear mode!

？！

Please note that this mode's Spiritron Dress is still incomplete, so I'm afraid I won't be able to help you in battle!

You can still cast support spells on us, right? That should at least be helpful in the next area.

Mmmnmm.

...Are you sure you want to bring someone along when they will only be dead weight in battle?

Aha, now I see.

I don't know much about the Far East, but I can tell you're afraid of the Genji.

Haha, don't be ridiculous.

With my onmyoudou, there is no Genji, no warrior of any stripe I cannot handle.

However, Lord Akimitsu desires a summer vacation as well. He's been so fretful about it all morning that he refuses to wake up.

So I thought it only right that I do my part and stay put this time to give him a chance to rest. What do you say, Master?

？！

Sure thing, Master! Come on, you! We're gonna give you the royal treatment and carry you straight there ourselves!

R-right!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Aah! Stop it! I have no desire to be paraded about like some kind of palanquin!

Th-those guys really know how to raise a ruckus, don't they?

Anyway, I guess there's no point in sticking around here. Want us to come along too, Fujimaru?

We're trusting you three to hold down the fort while we're gone.

Make sure to stay with the director when he goes out on deck to be certain he doesn't fall off.

You do realize I'm not a child, yes?

Don't worry. We'll take good care of the director, too.

Okay, everyone, good luck out there.

See you later!

Whoa...

I know what this is! I've seen pictures of old-timey places like this in the library.

Japan had spa resorts just like this! That's what this is!

In some ways, it seems similar to Epidaurus in Greece...of course, in others it's quite clearly different.

Why did they make the bath so big? And where are the other entertainment facilities? Like a theater, or a sports arena?

Back in China, this is the sort of place you hung out when you had nothing to do.

Ever heard of the Huaqing Palace? An emperor once had hot springs dug there for medicinal baths.

They even say Yang Guifei herself used to bathe there.

There certainly are a lot of tourists here... Ooh, and polar bears, too!

It all seems so relaxing!

Sure is. Looks like a pretty fun place to me.

And apparently, unlike actual Japanese hot springs, we can get in the bath in our swimsuits, too. Shall we, since we're here and all?

Mmm...

？！

Hmm, how can I put this...

This area seems so very chill that I can see no need for my presence. Maybe I ought to sit this one out after all?

Sorry, did you just say "chill"?

Oh my, oh my. Would you look at that!

If it isn't Master! You finally made it to my area.

？！

Mother is so happy you came all this way.

Welcome to my relaxing hot springs resort, Genji-no-Yu.

I do so hope you enjoy your stay.

I see, I see...

So you need to help me reach my sales quota to break the seal blocking your way to the castle.

They've managed it with Erice's area. Mine too!

Now they're here for the third: yours.

I, uh, might have had a little trouble reaching my quota, though.

Only a little? That's not how I understood the situation. Maybe you've come down with some memory issues.

Yeah, that doesn't square with what we heard at all.

N-no comment.

What about you, Raikou? Are you on track to reach your target sales numbers?

Yes, of course.

We've been getting more and more customers ever since construction was completed.

We should reach our quota soon, so it won't be long before the seal's broken.

...Assuming nothing disrupts our business, of course.

Might you have anything to say there, Lord Douman?

...I wonder.

Ha...haha... I would be most grateful indeed if you stopped smiling quite so murderously at me.

I do not know what you must be imagining about me just now, but I assure you, I am a good Douman, through and through.

Or even just a good...man, if you take my meaning.

I see what you did there, but I'm not a fan.

...Master?

？！

...I see.

Um, could I say something?

Of course. What is it?

I was told this place would be a training facility where we would be subjected to viciously harsh regimens...

...and that we'd never be allowed to leave until we completed them all. Is that...not the case?

So you were still hoping for that, huh.

I see... Yes, Lady Gareth, that was my original vision for this area.

Why am I not surprised...?

I wanted to build a nearly endless stone stairway leading up the mountain and station skilled assassins at every place where you might rest on the journey.

I imagined my guests mustering their strength and courage to defeat these enemies and reach the peak, where ultimate relaxation would be the reward for their hard work.

It would have been a wonderfully exciting resort for rest and relaxation, and I was all set to begin building.

Were you now.

Sounds about as far as you can get from rest and relaxation to me.

But then, just as I was about to begin construction...

No, Lady Raikou! You mustn't!

I understand where you're coming from. And it's true that a healthy spirit comes from a healthy body.

But people will be coming here seeking a summer repose to free themselves from the stresses of everyday life.

And what better place of healing could there be than...

...the Nanakuri-no-Yu

Wait, sorry. My mistake.

As they say in an old Japanese poem, foamy crests from bubbling hot water spilling over the edges of a bath are a symbol of the endless flow of visitors.

I speak, of course, of healing baths and health resorts. So may I suggest that you make hot springs your main attraction?

？！

"Free themselves from the stresses of everyday life," huh? Well, I guess that makes sense, too...

(Deep sigh)

Come on, it's not THAT disappointing.

I gotta say, though...this place is sure, uh, lively than a typical hot spring.

Yes, I couldn't help but notice that, too. You're widely known as the shadow prefect, right?

Chaldea's database entry on you said that when you're in your swimsuit Spirit Origin...

...you make it your duty to uphold discipline and public decency, and never tolerate unnecessarily exposed skin.

When did you read our database?

Well, you know...I have some extra free time at night.

Anyway, let's get back on track. Given your reputation, Minamoto-no-Raikou...

...I'm surprised at how free-spirited things are here. People in swimsuits left and right.

Is there a reason for that?

Well, uh... That was a suggestion from someone else...

So like, in that case, why not go all the way and make the hot spring a heated pool? It's summer, you know, and this way, women and men can all go in together in their swimsuits.

You could even string up lights and deck it out at night. Doesn't that sound, like, super emotional?

A-are you talking about mixed bathing!? Never! That is absolutely unacceptable!

Whoa, easy there, Rikopin. Let's just calm down, okay?

Nobody's arguing that women and men bathing together butt naked wouldn't be totes unacceptable.

But, if they're all wearing swimsuits in the springs instead of stripping down like you usually do for a bath...

...then it's not unacceptable at all! Wooo!

I-I see! Yes...you may be right!

If it is not unacceptable...then, I suppose...there is no reason for me to forbid it!

And the result is the Genji-no-Yu you see before you.

I was still worried that it would become unacceptable despite the precautions I took.

But since we opened for business, things have been absolutely booming.

I'm even told it's very popular with the "hip kids."

...This chick's more gullible than I thought, huh, Master?

？！

Mmmnmmm, how lovely! It's so good to see Lady Raikou loosening up!

Don't think I didn't notice that stray "n."

It does so warm my heart to see the Genji's former leader letting her hair down, so to speak.

This is exactly the sort of sight that makes materializing worthwhile.

Did I just hear something...? Oh, yes. You are too kind, Lord Douman.

Thank you once again for all your "help" back then.

Gaaaaaah! My eyes! You nailed me with a tangerine AGAIN!

That villainous figure of yours certainly brings back memories. But look at you now. You're so much tamer than before.

Why, you remind me of nothing so much as a house cat.

Hehe. Tell me, did you perchance have a change of heart?

Hmm...

My deepest apologies, but I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.

...Hmm.

...My apologies.

？！

We should be helping our Master here. And I, for one, am nothing if not a most reasonable Servant.

I-I'll have you know I'm perfectly faithful to Master as well!

Hahahaha. On a different subject, I've actually always been terribly fond of baths and hot springs...

...so do forgive me while I take the liberty of sampling these!

Huh? Douman?

He made a break for it. Figured that was coming.

Ran like a coward.

I won't say I'd like him to be a good person, but I wish I didn't get chills every time I look at him...

... ...

Huh? What's going on?

What is it, Erice?

I don't know. My evil spirits just started acting up out of nowhere...

Whoa. Is that an earthquake? Small one, but still...

...Looks like it's over. What was that all about?

Does that happen often, Madam?

W-well, I would say "occasionally" rather than "frequently"...but yes.

I'm told there's an underwater volcano on the seabed not far from here, so the occasional earthquake is no surprise.

(Hm? I don't remember any earthquakes happening in my area...)

Now please, never mind that. Please just explore and enjoy this place all you like.

My sales numbers are just fine, so all you need to worry about is resting and relaxing.

There we go.

I decided to change into a Spirit Origin a little better suited to enjoying the hot springs.

I still can't help but wonder, though...

？！

About that earthquake.

It seemed to me like Minamoto-no-Raikou knew more than she was letting on. What did you guys think?

Yeah, I'm kinda curious, too.

Nobody else seems worried though. Maybe the earthquakes are just common around here?

Hmm. You do have a point...

There's no issues here, no concerns about sales quotas, and above all, not a single sick or injured person in sight.

So, I'm going back to the ship. I'd like to be ready for the castle when we're done here.

Aww, come on, Doc. It'd really be a waste if you headed back before you even took a quick dip in the hot springs.

Just look at all the health benefits that sign lists! It's amazing!

Oh? Let me see... It says these hot springs help with bruises, cuts, rheumatism...

They increase stamina, magical energy, regulatory functions... They even grant Debuff Resist, Invincible, and C. Stars... Wait. C. Stars?

？！

Hehehe, not necessarily.

Each area manager is given unlimited magical energy, which they can use to create whatever they like.

So I frankly wouldn't be surprised if hot springs created with magical energy really did have all these benefits.

...Oooh, they're even good for the skin. That's it. I have to try going in now!

That's...impossible...

Dr. Asclepius?

Doc?

This can't be right. A mere soak in hot water provides all these health benefits!?

The only benefits to bathing are typically warming up, improved circulation, a boost to hygiene, and a balancing of the body's four humors.

But if hot water truly can be imbued with such benefits...

Dammit, there's not a second to lose!

I'm heading up to the source of the springs. I have to find out what's in it!

...He sure didn't waste any time, did he?

Do any of you have any idea where the source is?

What? 'Course not. How would we know? Anyway, what do you wanna do, Master?

？！

You got it!

Makes sense. We definitely don't want him getting lost and throwing a fit.

Is...that a thing he does?

Dr. Asclepius is very, um, passionate about his work.

So passionate, it sometimes gets him into a little trouble...

I, uh, I see.

Just a little, though!

(I still remember that time he gathered a bunch of walking corpses for research...but I get the sense this really isn't the time to bring that up.)

Oh, I'm sure we'll find him sooner or later as long as we keep looking.

Okay, everyone, try not to get so distracted by all the weirdness that you get lost!

？！

Huh, okay.

So there's a giant heated pool right in the middle of this area, and a bunch of smaller baths scattered around.

Is...that giant coffee cup also a bath?

Hehehe.

That, my friend, is the unrivaled, the incomparable...coffee bath.

Made using pure espresso, which was itself made with water from these very hot springs...

...the heady aroma of the coffee, along with its many other healthful qualities, help you to relax and detox. It's even good for the skin!

On top of ALL THAT, the other thing that makes it the coffee bath of your dreams...

...is that you can have your fill of sweets both inside and outside your body with the addition of mass quantities of milk and caramel sauce.

What do you say? Care to try a dip?

Isn't that more of a caramel macchiato bath!?

Also, no. That sounds like it'd just make me stickier, not cleaner.

Hey, look, Erice! There're electric current baths over there!

Don't be ridiculous, you half-witted eccentric!

What would a single hot spring resort need with TWO electric current baths!?

For once, I agree with you, you mangy plebeian! One superior electric current bath is more than enough!

And needless to say, the superior one is mine!

Stop that, you two.

So that one's a direct current electric bath... And that one's an alternating current electric bath...

And that one spouting a bunch of...stuff? Well, okay, yeah. That must be a steam bath!

That's just a sauna, isn't it?

You know, I heard there's a jet bath around here that's supposed to be really good for you. I wonder where that i

Gaaaaaaaaahhh!

Um, Okita, I think there's been a mistake! This can't be what a jet bath is supposed to be!

Of course it is, Nobbu! What did you expect? Little nozzles in hot water? Don't be silly!

All right, now it's time to dive into the water! Make sure to close your mouth so you don't bite your tongue!

Forget my tongue! What about the rest of meee!?

Ahh, now I see. So it's a new method of torture.

？！

Ah.

Whoops, sorry about this. I was so distracted by all these things I'd never seen before...

...that I completely lost sight of Asclepius. Ahaha.

Had a feeling that'd happen.

Not that I'm in any position to talk, since I did the same damn thing. Now what do we do...

Hey, Gareth. Do you think you could help us track Asclepius's scent?

Wh-what do you mea Oh, right, of course. With Aned, you mean.

Okay, Aned! Time to track down Doc's scent!

Bow!

(Sniff, sniff, sniff)

(Sniff, sniff, sniff)

...Uh, I think Aned's got that covered.

!

Hm? There's something over that way?

(Wagging tail)

Let's see... Hmm? I think I smell something, too. Something really...yummy...

There's a food stand over that way. Maybe it's coming from there?

Hmm, I think Aned may have been distracted by the smell of food rather than following Asclepius.

I wonder what that food stand is. It's so garish it almost hurts my eyes.

(...Mmm. Can you hear me, Master?)

(I'm remaining in my spirit form and whispering in your ear.)

？！

(I have the sense something very unsettling lies this way.)

(I strongly suggest a quiet, immediate change of course before you're noti)

Look out, Chan-mas!!!

Gaaah!!! My eyes! It BUUURNSSS! What did you throw into my eyes!?

Oh, it's Mambo-chan. Hey, Mambo-chan.

Aw, man. Sorry 'bout that! Thought you were an evil spirit or something that needed exorcising!

...How is it that you never fail to strike my eyes? Is it some sort of spell?

Or perhaps some secret onmyoudou art of which I am unaware, perhaps learned from Lady Kaoruko there?

Oh my, what a cool outfiter, that is, cool as in "not warm." I see you changed into your summer clothes, too.

Indeed. This is my summer look. I also call it my Polar Bear mode.

I see. Well, it suits you very well.

Y'know, for a guy dressing casual, you got drip, Mambo-chan. You clean up so nice, I kinda wanna see you in a tux now!

Aaanywho...

Hello, Master. Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for coming.

I hope you're finding Genji-no-Yu to your liking?

Definitely!

It is?

？！

What are you two doing here? Do you work here or something?

Yes, we've been helping Lady Raikou out.

We usually go around keeping an eye on things...

...and sometimes we put in some work as the poster girls for our famous Arctic Hot Springs manjyu food stand to drum up some extra business.

？！

Hehe, sounds pretty good, right? They're a big hit with the polar bears, too!

Really!?

You guys should all try 'em out, too. C'mon! I'll cut you a suuuper sweet deal!

Mmm! Such pressure in your sales pitch!

Stop! Don't tug on that! Swimwear tears easily!

Oh wow, these manjyu ARE yummy! They're piping hot and super soft, too!

Hehe, right? What do you say? Wanna go for another?

Yes, please!

Bowwow!

Aww, you like 'em too, huh, Anemaru? Good doggo!

Can't have too many though, 'kay? Lotta sugar in these bad boys.

(Munch, munch...) Personally, I think they could use a little more kick.

But, you know...I think I can feel my whole body warming up as I eat.

I'm sensing just the tiniest bit of magical energy in these. Are they made with water from the hot spring?

Why yes, they are. I'm impressed you noticed. We take hot water straight from the source of the spring and knead it into dough, then

...Oh, I'm sorry. I don't believe we've met before?

I'm Lady Avalon. As you can see, I'm just a beautiful girl who's come along for the ride.

I'm a Mage of Flowers and everyone's little sister, too!

Um...little sister?

And you must be Murasaki Shikibu, author of the "Tale of Genji." I'd love for us to be friends.

And I'm Nagiko. Nice to meet you, Levanon.

Well, you make quite a strong first impression, don't you? Even so, I don't think it's a good idea to give someone a nickname without asking permission.

Right? Right? I know all too well how you feel, good Mage of Flowers.

It's weird at first, but you get used to it.

You know, Sei Shounagon, there's something about you that, well...

(She reminds me of someone I used to know.)

Hmm... I didn't really think I'd enjoy these manjyu, but they're better than I expected.

I can't help but wonder why they're making hot spring manjyu.

？！

Heh, hehehe.

You mean you don't even know that, Master of Chaldea?

Whoa there!

I don't know who you are, but nobody loves an eavesdropper. Show yourself!

Just ten minutes in forty-two degree Celsius water burns as many calories as a ten-minute walk.

Furthermore, there are numerous health risks associated with letting your blood sugar drop too low.

Which is why it's best to eat something sweet before bathing in a hot spring. It raises your blood sugar and you don't go in on an empty stomach.

Apparently, that's why Japanese hot spring inns like this one always leave sweets in your room. You're supposed to eat them before you take a bath!

？！

？！

We're here to see how things are going in this area. Isn't that obvious?

We can't have a manager wasting the incredible stores of magical energy Lady Skadi gave her.

So we're going undercover to keep an eye on a things so we can get a clear, unbiased view.

The last area was something of a break for us, but we're taking our jobs very seriously here.

If we deem it necessary, we may even have to temporarily shut an area down!

Shut it down? Really?

Well, so far as I am aware, there are no issues with the operation of this area.

(A shutdown could really screw us. If that happened, who knows when we'd be able to get to the castle.)

(Munch, munch)

The hot springs are a little, well, hot, but these manjyu sure add a nice touch of culture!

Oh, would it be okay if I had another one, Murasaki?

The more calories we take in, the longer we can stay in the hot springs.

Hehehe... (Blowing bubbles underwater)

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to sell so many, but perhaps you should hydrate as well?

Haha, I guess even the vaunted Valkyries like to let their hair down now and then.

By the way, you three seem unusually well-informed about hot springs. Where did you learn all that?

Hehe, surprised, Mage of Flowers? I bet you are.

Well, if you must know, we passed by a Servant earlier, and they told us everything about themselves, and very rapidly at that!

？！

I bet it was Dr. Asclepius on his way to the source of the hot spring.

I gotcha. Makes sense that Servants who work here would know all about this place.

Hey, Murasaki, mind telling us where we can find the source of the hot spring?

We're looking for Asclepius, and that's what he's after.

Y-yes, of course. You can find the source up that way, behind this building.

But please don't do anything funny to it, okay? It's supposed to be off limits to anyone not on the area's staff.

Don't worry. We're going there to stop him from doing anything funny to it.

I-I see...

... ...

Hey, Kaorucchi.

Is it just me, or do the hot springs seem way steamier than usual?

Now that you mention it, you're right. They've never put out this much vapor before.

...

Wait. What is this!?

？！

...Hot, hot, HOOOT!!!

The water temperature is spiking like crazy! What's going on!?

Dammit. Something must've happened at the source!

You don't think Asclepius did this, do you?

I mean, I've heard he's the son of a sun god, but I didn't really think he'd superheat a whole hot spring!

Well, he CAN be a little reckless...sometimes...

...but even he'd never do THIS.

The other guests are panicking now too! This could get dangerous!

We'll handle the guests! We have a procedure to follow in emergencies like this!

This whole situation is very, very strange... I don't like it at all.

Could I ask you to look into what's happening at the source?

？！

Oh, thank you!

Don't worry, we'll take care of it. We need to find Asclepius, anyway.

As for you three sisters... Ah, I guess you'll be fine. Just pour some cool water on yourselves and rest up!

Oh. Thank you...

I know you Chaldean Servants aren't our enemies, but it still feels strange to have you looking out for us like this...

Brr, that's freezing! Okay, no more work for today!

My, my. Things have taken quite an entertaining turn.

I think I'll head over to the source as well...

Whoa there! Not one more step, Mambo-chan!

Wha

You're not going anywhere.

We don't have enough staff on hand, so you're going to stay right here and help us out.

Mmm, well, well. Keeping an eye on me, are we?

You aren't still worried I may be plotting something toward, are you? Perish the thought!

Wahaha, oh you!

Dunno about anything you might be plotting, but I wouldn't bother if I were you! You've got a proven record of total failure in that department!

Oof!

...My, my, you really are something, aren't you? Very well, I'll do as you ask today.

Hehe, I knew you had some good in you. Now if only you'd just show it more often.

So hey, while we're on the subject, WERE you plotting something?

I was not. In fact, I wasn't even planning to come to this area to begin with.

Besides...

I hardly need plot wickedness. Even when one attempts to do good...

...well, let's just say that in this world, unfortunate incidents of every sort...

...have a way of finding expression aaall on their own.

This isn't even a spring!

No wonder it's so friggin' hot! It's goddamn LAVA!

Well...I, ah, can't say I was expecting this...

Just standing close is enough for me to feel how crazy the magical energy in here is going.

N-ngh...

Uh...did anyone else hear that just now?

...There! Someone's collapsed behind that boulder!

Khh... There you are. About time you showed up...

Dr. Asclepius! What happened to you!? You can barely stand up!

I got careless... Just when I was about to examine the source...

...someone struck me on the neck near my ear, delivering a powerful shock to my carotid artery near the vagus ner

Yeah, okay. We get it! Someone whacked you somewhere important!

B-but...you would need to be unbelievably strong to knock a Servant out with a blow like that.

So who the heck could have snuck on Doc Asclepius and hit him that hard?

Fu... Fufu... Fufufufufu.

!!!

Is that...?

Yeah. That must be the good doctor's assailant. And they must be feeling pretty confident if they haven't bothered to run away.

There's no telling what kind of inhuman monster we might be dealing with... Here they come!

Tadaaa!

Hi guys! It's me! The inhuman monster and fun-loving summer party girl, Ibuki-Douji!

... ...

You!?

？！

Sure thing, Honeybun!

Gosh, I never expected to run into you somewhere so hot even the plants are catching fire!

This is so climactic! ...That's the right word, right?

Ooh, hey. Are you feeling the Suspension Bridge Effect too? Are you? Aaare yooou?

(...Hic)

？！

Whoa. She's wasted.

Yeah, that explains a lot.

Man, what is it about getting drunk that always brings out the worst in people?

Aha, now I see. Ibuki-Douji. As I recall, you're a Divided Spirit of one of Japan's Daimyojin gods.

So, I imagine for someone as powerful as you...

...interfering with the magical energy supplied to this area, as well as the Bounded Field that creates its rules, would be trivial.

I mean, maybe, but still, turning hot springs into lava? Is that... Can she even do that?

Oh, that's easy enough to find out. We just have to drag the information out of her.

I understand now. All those earthquakes, the hot springs turning into lava, all the strange phenomena plaguing this area...

All of it was your doing, Ibuki-Douji...you walking affront to public decency, you!

Huh? What're you talking about?

Look, I'm wearing a swimsuit for a swimming competition! If anything, I'm showing less skin than everyone else!

I just want to go swimming, Ms. Shadow Prefect. Why are you being so mean to me?

I just went for a soak in the hot springs. That's all I did, you know.

And, I mean, yeah...

...I might've had ooone little drink while I was soaking...

...but there's no rule against that, right?

W-well...no, there isn't...

Lady Nagiko said she wanted to sip tropical drinks from a floating tray while taking a bath...

...so I reluctantly agreed to allow it in the rules as long as guests notified us ahead of time...

...A-ahem.

So you claim to simply be here as an ordinary guest, then, Ibuki-Douji?

Yeah, exactly!

I heard about this sweet new hot spring, right? So I decided I'd come here and enjoy it!

Uh-huh...

But the spring turned out to be nowhere neeear warm enough. What's the point of a hot spring if it's not even hot?

Hm? What was that?

Sooo, I decided to tweak the source spring juuust a little.

Just enough to raise the temperature a liiittle bit, so I could enjoy it!

Did you know they have a word just for adding hotter water to a bath in Japan? Sashi-yu.

Sashi-yu...

This is a "little" raise in temperature to you?

This is hardly what I would call sashi-yu!

Heating the water further is absolutely unacceptable! Especially now that it is actually lava!

Prepare to die!

Eee, the shadow prefect's picking on meee! Save me, Honeybuuun♡

Yeah, pretty sure you're not the one in need of saving here.

No way. She just swept Raikou's Noble Phantasm aside with one hand!

I guess we now know how she could knock a Heroic Spirit out with a single strike, then...

Hey. I just got careless, that's all.

... ...

It's true.

Khh!

All right. So you changed the water into lava without permission.

But that doesn't explain the earthquakes. Are you responsible for those too!?

Oh, I don't know about that. In fact, I think someone else here might know more about that. Namely...

You.

Are you sure you don't have any idea what's causing them, Ms. Area Manager?

？！

...Ugh.

... ...

Master, um, the truth is

Damn, speak of the devil! And this one's a lot bigger, too!

Uh-oh. This...could be a problem.

Lady A?

Is it over?

No...

I'm hearing strange noises outside. Something's still not right.

Bowwow!

This rumbling... Are those...footsteps!?

Ohhh crap. I've got a bad feeling about this.

Oooh, looks like you have your work cut out for you.

Well, I've had my fill of the hot springs for now, so I think I'll just get out of your hair. Byeee!

Good luck with that Demonic Beast!

CHAL-DE-A! CHAL-DE-A! You can totally do this, guys! I'll be cheering you on from...somewhere in this Singularity!

Gooo team!

？！

？！

Gnnnnnn!

She causes all that commotion, then just flits off!? Who does she think she is!?

Senpai! Thank goodness I finally got through to you!

？！

The Valkyries and the director managed to restore our comms!

I'm sorry, but we have an emergency! Please head back to the center of this area!

I see. So that's where it is.

Huh!?

Y-yes, that's right. There's, um...

There's a very large Demonic Beast there right now!

Oh my. This thing just showed up very close to me.

Oh well, I suppose I have no other choice. Lord Akimitsu, forgive me for disturbing your rest, but you must wake up.

Heeey. Mambooo. What'cha doin' there?

Can you just sit tight and not try to pull anything until Chan-mas's gang gets back? They shouldn't be long.

Ha. I assure you, I can easily handle a beast of this caliber on my own.

So, Lord Akimitsu and I may as well take this occasion to bathe this entire area in dark

... ...

...Lord Akimitsu?

...Huh?

Aah! The monster just swallowed the monk whole!

See, Mambo-chan!? What did I tell you!?

？！

I-I can't believe my eyes!

That thing MUST be huge if it was able to swallow Douman whole. He's not exactly petite...

Rest in peace, Douman...

All right, let's change gears!

We can hit that thing with all our Noble Phantasms while we mourn our fallen frieehhh, companion!

U-um, Lord Yan Qing?

I'm...fairly certain Lord Douman is still alive in there, so perhaps we should attempt a rescue before beginning mourning?

...Fine.

Crap, crap, crap! What do we do!? I didn't bring any scissors with me today.

Oooh, I bet if we could make the big pig sneeze, Mambo-chan would come shooting right out!

...Huh?

Mmmmmm...

Though I may have been swallowed whole...

...I am no worse for wear, as you can see.

Shocked? Hahaha! Ah, if only you could all see the looks on your faces!

Whoooa, way to go, Mambo-chan! Nice job getting out on your own!

Ahhh, yes. Don't be shy with the praise.

But, that aside...

... ...

Even the explosion in its mouth seems not to have affected the beast. It must be astonishingly durable.

I'd love to know more about how it is so hardy.

Hmm...

Lady Raikou, I think it's time you told us just what that thing is.

It's... W-well... (Sniff)

？！

Ghh...

R-remember what I told you about my original plan for this area, before I decided to make it a hot spring resort?

The more athletically-inclined one where guests would make their way up the mountain while fighting off a small army of formidable foes?

You see, I thought a final boss waiting at the end of the journey would be the perfect finishing touch!

And I...sort of made that first, as soon as I had the thought.

... ...

Why?

Why would you start there? That makes no sense.

Hey, some people just like to head right for the best part.

Oh yes. I enjoyed the creation process more than I expected and I was quite proud of the end result.

But I had no more need of it after I decided to make a hot spring resort instead.

Unfortunately, I had no idea how to dispose of it either, so I asked Lady Skadi for help.

...All right. I understand.

Hmm. Hmm...

I know. What if you buried it?

D-don't misunderstand.

I do not mean to suggest that we should sweep our mistakes under the rug or any such thing.

Even if you no longer need this creature, it was still made with my magical energy.

So the least we can do is honor it by making it a foundational part of our eternal summer.

So we froze the Demonic Beast and buried it in the deepest reaches of the Singularity...

...thereby making it part of the foundation for this entire area!

？！

Indeed...

A small nation, built on top of a monster? That sounds like something out of a myth.

So, it woke up, and now it's...a-angry, I guess? What do you guys think?

Bowwow! Bow!

Easy there. Good dog.

You were given Aned's name, weren't you? After Twrch Trwyth, of course you wouldn't like it when a Demonic Boar shows up.

Oh, I just had a thought.

You said you froze and buried that Demonic Beast, right?

So maybe the heat from the hot springs has been gradually thawing it...

...and its stirrings as it wakes have been causing the earthquakes?

Sounds about right.

As far as I can tell, Skadi did a fine job with the freezing and burial.

Under normal circumstances, it would have functioned as this land's foundation just fine.

But then, Ibuki-Douji came along.

？！

Exactly. That likely broke the seal of the ice and woke the Demonic Beast up.

Anyway, that thing sure looks tough!

Y-yes, I think it is. It's grown even stronger than it was when I first made it!

Could it also have been benefitting from the hot spring?

That's definitely possible! This whole land is chock-full of magical energy!

...Okay, Master, I have an idea. I'm going to head back to the source!

I'll do my best to repair the Bounded Field Ibuki-Douji messed up and cool down the lava bath.

Hopefully, if we can lower the temperature enough, the ice seal will start working again.

In the meantime, you guys can handle the beast, right? Great! Thanks!

？！

Uh-oh. It's going berserk...

It's trying to destroy everything in sight!

Bowwow!

You're right, Aned! We do need to do something!

Master. Please, let me take care of this.

This is ultimately my fault.

I am responsible for my guests; it is my duty to protect them at all costs!

？！

？！

Right! We'll lead the guests to safety!

Hehe... Looks like you guys get to handle this year's beast hunt, Chan-mas!

？！

Yeah, I know. You want me to treat the injured.

But if you require my aid in battle, call on me!

？！

All right. Guess this is where we come in!

If young Lady A's got a plan in mind, then I'll do my part to keep the big guy pinned down!

You ready for this?

Ready and willing!

I'll make sure these hot springs stay safe for everyone who was enjoying them!

Yeah.

I've got a knack for hunting beasts. And besides...

...with us all working together, I know we'll be fine!

... ...

Well, well, you're all fired up, aren't you? Is it perhaps owed to the fire beneath these springs?

Hahahahaha, I say that only in jest!

？！

Yes?

？！

Good grief! Very well, if I must!

Large hostile...incoming!

Mmm, I will support you from the sidelines! My swimwear is far from a proper Spiritron Dress, after all!

Graaahhh...

I'm back, and I readjusted the source of the springs!

I severed its magical energy connection, so the lava bath no longer even exists!

All we have to do now is make that thing settle down, and the ice seal should kick back in!

？！

All right then, shall we!?

Let's!

Yeah.

Bow!

Let's do it! Oh, that goes for you too, Douman!

I'm being ordered, then. Oh, very well!

This is one of THOSE things, isn't it? Where the power of our friendships triumphs over all or something like that.

Annnd GOOO!!!

Ghh...graaahhh!

You did it! The enemy has gone silent and is freezing again!

Now we just have to rebury it, and I think this area should go back to normal.

Great!

？！

Hey now, cheer up. Singularities are fundamentally about once-in-a-lifetime experiences, right?

And that is what really matters in the end, isn't it?

？！

Hmph.

Looks like they've handled things. Guess they didn't need my help in battle after all.

...All right, let's keep the treatment going! Everyone who needs help, form a line!

It looks like the hot springs are safe now. Thank goodness.

With the water back to normal, we should be able to reopen for business!

Hmm. I hope you're right about the water being back to normal.

But for some reason, I've got a kinda bad feeling about this...

Whoops! Sorry about that.

I...might have gotten so carried away that I severed the magical energy flow which actually made the water into a hot spring!

？！

Wh-what else could I have done?

Believe me, Ibuki-Douji was NOT delicate with her modifications!

This was the only way I could shut off the lava bath!

I mean, I can see that you tried, and I do appreciate that, but...

Yeah, a pool is nice and all, but it's not the same as a hot spring.

Mmmmmm, what a dreadfully unfortunate turn of events. How sad to see things turn out this way.

？！

...

Dude, don't just shut off your emotions like that! It's freaky!

No, it's all right. Please, smile all you like. You're more than welcome to laugh this off.

I am only human; I had no business trying to play god.

I will remember this lesson for the rest of my days.

I-I, uh...

I just want to say that the Demonic Beast was really tough! He would've made a perfect final boss for a training regimen!

Sure, some parts of it were chilling and I didn't care for those, but overall, I couldn't be happier with this adventure!

Indeed. Despite all the commotion, no guests were injured.

All I've seen so far has been a few dizzy spells from staying in the bath too long.

(...Tch.)

Don't think we didn't hear that.

You should've just told us you had something like that up your sleeve.

The guests just thought it was part of the entertainment!

Maybe we should build a mechanical monster and make this a regular attraction! Gahaha!

Please, no! Anything but that!

Hehe. Thank you all for your consideration.

Perhaps all this hard work was in some way worthwhile after all.

It was, Lady Raikou. And besides...

...losing the hot springs may not be an entirely bad thing.

Ahh, that feels goood♪

Mmm. This is the life♪

Hey, polar bears!

They're taking a swim...

And I think they look way happier now than they did when these were hot springs.

Ah, I get it now. Even just a regular pool is pretty warm by North Pole standards.

I'm sure some guests want to rinse off in cool water just as much as others want to sweat in hot water.

Then...

...maybe this place should have just been a big pool all along?

That would be fitting for summer, wouldn't it? Hehe. Very well, then...

I shall reopen this business as a tropical resort. We will rebrand as "Hawaiian Genji"!

？！

My only concern is that our popular North Pole Hot Spring manjyu...

...may not be the best fit for this new atmosphere.

Hehe... Don't you worry about a thing, Kaorucchi.

I kinda figured something like this might happen, so I came up with a new line of sweets, in case we needed it!

Check out our new specialty, made with ice straight from the North Pole! I call it "Golden Arctic Monster Shaved Ice"! It's flavored with matcha and red bean paste!

Mmmmmm, how enterprising of you!

Hey, don't be snide, Mambo-chan. I'm totes certain these babies are gonna sell like hotcakerr...manjyu.

I did plenty of market research and everything. They were a big hit in focus groups! Wooo!

？！

So, what do we tell Lady Skadi?

There was definitely some magical energy being wasted here, but the situation's already taken care of.

At this point, I don't see any problems with this area.

I agree. All's well that ends well.

Also, that shaved ice wasn't half bad. We'll have to recommend Lady Skadi try some.

Should we just bring her some?

Yes, let's. We can always use magecraft to keep it cold.

Great idea! Let's do it!

Aww, that's too bad. I had just gotten the water (read: lava) to the perfect temperature, too.

Oh well, easy come, easy go! So it goes in summer!

Speaking of going... I wonder where I should head next...

... ...

Ah...choo!

Nooo! You beat me!

A-all right! I won! Kinda lost count of how many rounds this makes, but I win again!

Come on, Sifu Gareth! Don't you think that's enough!?

No, not yet. It's far too early to throw in the towel!

Come on, Yan Qing! We're still just getting started!

Ugh, fine! You wanna do this!? Let's do it!

Mmm, that's nice. Really nice.

Even just seeing a pretty boy writhing in agony does wonders for my health.

Fooou! (Special Translation: That's not at all what you said before!)

Mmm, buonissimo!

This king salmon sauté is sublime! Goffy guy, call the chef out here so I can tell him his food kicks a whole mess of ass!

I'm the chef! I made it! Somehow, I, the commander of this mission, wound up serving as its chef too!

Also what are you all even doing here, anyway?

Hehe, you gonna make me say it, Goffy? I got a hankering for your home cooking.

Wha

Y-you can't fool me! I know you don't mean that! Now here! Have an extra sausage!

？！

I-I'm so sorry for barging in on you unannounced!

You're so kind to make us dinner even though we arrived without any notice or invitation.

I'm told you'll be leaving this area tomorrow morning.

Since you've all been such a great help, I wanted to say a proper goodbye before you left.

Well thanks. That's very nice of

Hm? Wait, wait. You don't have to worry about that.

If you hadn't reached your sales goal, we wouldn't be able to move on anyway.

Don't fall for it, guys.

I mean, I'm sure they're not exactly lying here, but Rikopin AND Kaorucchi were also super stoked to check out one of these fancy cruise ships for themselves.

You don't mind if they look around before you set sail, right?

E-er, yes, well...

I was told this is like a palace that navigates through water...er, ice.

So I just wanted to see how it was built.

As for me, um...I heard you had a reading room on board!

And since I've already read all the books I brought along from Chaldea, well...

...I-I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I took a look at your selection.

？！

Is that all? Of course you're welcome here. We'd even be happy to show you around if you like.

This ship's amazing! It's got everything you could ever want!

Of course it does, since Lady Skadi made it. I bet it's even better than your ship, Director!

Hang on. Did you really have to put it like that?

Hehe. Okay then, should we get started? The stairs are just over here.

Thank you, Lady Thrúd. Oh, and

Indeed. Lady Nagiko? Do try not to get too carried away.

Wahaha, don't worry, I got this. Don't forget, I'm a prim and proper Heian girl, too!

Just come up to the deck whenever you're ready to get going.

Hehe. Understood. Then we'll see you later.

Hm? How come you're not going with them?

'Cause I've got my own stuff to do. Hup.

？！

Hehehe. I snuck over as many of these as I could get my hands on when we came here from Chaldea.

We've got sparklers, cherry bombs, firecrackers, bottle rockets...the works!

Okay, let's get up on deck, Mambo-chan. We're gonna get this party staaarted!

... ...

Huh? Where's Mambo-chan?

？！

Oh. Gotcha.

Hold it, Sei Shounagon. We didn't come here for fun and games.

Heh. You already closed up shop for the day, remember, 'Pius?

Plus, you guys all worked super hard to help us meet our sales goal.

So just think of this as a little reward from Nagiko! Now, get the stick out of your ass and let's have some FUN!

Hmph...

Besides...

How many chances do you get to set off fireworks at the North friggin' Pole!?

This is just a thing you want to do, isn't it?

I guess I can't blame you. It does sound like fun. Maybe I'll give it a try.

Bahahahaha! That's the spirit, Erissa!

Now let's get this party started! Hope you guys didn't plan on getting any sleep tonight!

Didn't Raikou literally JUST tell you not to get carried away!?

Aw, man! I had a feeling this lady was just like Karin!

Good grief... I guess I have no choice then.

Oh, you're going? I...can't say I figured you were the sort for that.

Hmph. I can't have them getting so caught up in playing with fire that they end up with boring, first-degree burns.

So I'll need to be present to keep an eye on them. What about you, Director?

Heh. Hard as it may be to believe, I'm actually quite particular when it comes to fireworks.

So this seems as good a time as any to show these Heroic Spirits how modern folks do things!

？！

？！

Hehehe.

So, what do you think of my Singularity, Master? Do you like it?

？！

Hehehe. Well, things are still only beginning.

You have not yet begun to see what it has to offer!

Hehehe. Hehehehehehehehehe!

？！

Mmm...

My, my.

Provoking you for no particular reason? She's become quite the villain, hasn't she?

Master, I imagine you must be beside yourself with concern now, no?

？！

Indeed. Fortunately, the third seal blocking our way has been broken.

So tomorrow, we will finally arrive at the Arctic Demonic Ice Castle!

And with all of Chaldea pooling our might, we'll tear this Queen of the Arctic limb from limb!

？！

Yes?

？！

Wha

Nice! Way to go, Chan-mas!

Me, lighting fireworks? Absolutely not! Stop this at once!

Absolutely not! I will not permit my curse talismans to be used as fireworks!

It's too dangerous! For everyone's safety, the rules must be followed!