Section 11: Old Dubai (Ⅱ) / A Spicy Dish, And...

Oho, I should be able to find all sorts of rare and unusual tea leaves here. What a treat...

Speaking of treats, Lord Rikyu, please don't forget to also pick up some dried fruits to go with them!

What a wonderful selection of medicinal herbs. These could be just what I need for that new elixir I've been cooking up. Hehehe...

Oh, hi. You guys are here too, huh?

You can probably guess what I'm doing here.

...Don't tell me. You're wondering where my fellow spicy food aficionado is, right? She went off on her own.

She said something about how such mild spice couldn't be all the world-famous Spice Souq had to offer.

Then she went off to see if she could find anything spicier in the back-alley stores.

She's probably infiltrating some secret spice shop right now to get her hands on the hottest seasoning she can find.

Anyway, if you see her, give her my regards.

And by "give her my regards," I obviously mean "tell her to get enough for me, too."

？！

That's strange. I thought you would be surprised to find me working at a spice shop...

...and yet, you're looking at me as though it makes perfect sense for me to be here.

Well, yeah, I think we have a pretty good idea of how you ended up in this position.

So, what brings you to this shop?

What else? We're here to buy spices.

Do you have any particularly truly premium spices? Something worthy of a royal figure like myself?

This shop carries nothing but spices, so yes, of course we do.

Hmm... Particularly premium and worthy of royalty... How about this?

And now, the real battle begins.

Hmm. Well, this is not a rip-off per se...but it's still far higher than it should be. Lower it.

Ohoho, right into haggling, then? How foolhardy, even insolent.

Still, I commend you for your bravery, also your faint but unmistakable kingly aura.

Oh? Does that mean you'll give us a discount?

I never said that.

I am Amor, the god of love and judgment. I am one of the chosen few who excels at asset management.

Take a look at my class. Oh, right. We can't get an accurate read on classes here in Dubai, can we?

From love comes marriage and from marriage comes the managing of assets.

And there aren't many others out there who can wield a balance sheet like I can.

？！

So if you wish to make a request of me, you should know what I'm going to ask in return...right?

Art thou prepared to undergo my trial...trial...trial... (Echoing)

Bright! So bright!

(Silently puts on sunglasses)

Dammit, I can't see a thing! Can't you turn that down and just let us do this like normal people!?

I was hoping to at least project an air of grandeur and majesty... Oh, fine.

So, what kind of trial did you have in mind?

If you want me to lower my prices, you'll need to demonstrate how much you love spices.

So for this trial... Hehe, I bet none of you even imagined anything so innovative existed...

You'll need to eat super spicy curry.

... ...

Okay, Master, time for lesson two: sometimes, the seller will offer a proposition in exchange for lowering the prices.

Generally speaking, it's fine to accept them.

However, the important thing is to make sure you only do so when you can sweeten the deal for yourself even further.

So on that note, of course we'll accept.

Really? I haven't even explained the basic rules yet. How very brash of you.

Anyway, your trial is to eat every last bite of curry...which I will make with my secret stash of spices.

I find it extremely mild, but...well, I cannot speak for the uninitiated.

Ha, so we just gotta eat some spicy food? Leave this one to me, Boss!

Uh, Aśvatthāman?

It's okay, Boss. I know what you're gonna say, and I already accounted for it when I volunteered.

I see. Very well then.

Tell me this, shopkeeper.

Approximately how spicy are you planning to make this curry, and how much of a discount are you going to offer?

Since this curry is mild for me, I'd put it at about a level ten in terms of spiciness. I think that's worth a twenty percent discount.

Understood. Then make it twice as spicy! But in exchange, I want you to give us fifty percent off!

？！

It's like I told you, Master. Accepting the seller's proposal for a discount as it was given is a rookie mistake.

If that's all the backbone you can muster, you'll be a sitting duck for any bullshit package deals they want to upsell you.

A truly first-class haggler knows how to appear to accept the seller's proposal, only to turn it to their advantage.

And I had a pretty good feeling the boss was gonna say something like that, which is why I told him not to sweat it.

I-I see.

Hmm. Level twenty is just spicy enough that it's effectively dipping a toe in our divine realm...

All right. I accept.

These numbers all sound very abstract. Are you sure about this?

Hmph. The only thing you need to handle spice is the guts to push through the pain, and I've got those in spades. No way am I gonna lose here.

The fires of rage burning in my blood will consume any spice thrown into them!

Well said, Aśvatthāman, brave son of Droṇa. This match should be easy for you.

Go on then! I'm counting on you!

？！

It's ready. Hold on while I serve some.

Incidentally, I decided to serve it with rice rather than naan.

Hey, Master.

I'm fairly sure Aśvatthāman has this in the bag, but I'd also like to avoid a worst-case scenario, just in case.

Is there anything you can do to give him an advantage?

？！

That's it?

What about, I don't know, keeping some hired thugs on hand to jump out if it seems like he's going to lose...

...and have them mess everything up so no one can tell for sure what the outcome would've been?

Well, I guess we don't have time to get that deep into it with them already about to start.

So, I guess I'll just follow your lead and do whatever little things I can to help him out.

Okay, it's ready. Dig in.

Ha! I've had my share of spicy curry. Who do you think invented it!?

Ghh... Urk! Shiva, give me strength...!

Heh, hehe... P-piece of...cake...

Is anyone else worried? I mean, that was one bite.

Don't worry. I can see his warrior's spirit burning strong and stubborn. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was fighting for his very life.

I understand. Sometimes, even if your chances of winning are slim...

...once you've set foot on the battlefield, you have to fight to the bitter end.

Stand strong and fight hard to your last breath, brave warrior! I'll make sure you don't die alone!

(Huff...!)

Khh... Haaaaaa! Th... That all you got!?!?

Ooh! You can do this, Aśvatthāman!

Hang in there! I know you have it in you! You're as strong as they come! I've seen it firsthand!

Ghh... Then...I...!

Hey, shopkeep. You mind if I stand up?

You know how spicy food just makes you want to get up and move around sometimes, right?

I understand. That's fine, as long as you don't let go of the plate.

(Good, she agreed.)

Boss. Master. I got a favor to ask.

This curry's a more formidable foe than I thought. But I'm sure as hell not gonna lose.

But, to win, I'm gonna need the rage flowing through me to burn hotter than ever!

That's why I want you to attack me!

I know I can beat this thing as long as I've got the exhilaration of combat hyping me up!

Are you serious? You'd really go that far?

He would. Look at him. That's the face of a man who has never been more serious in his life.

Aśvatthāman's more than just an unstoppable incarnation of pure destruction.

He's also a first-class tactician well-versed in the art of strategy. So if this is what he says he needs

It must be crucial to his success.

All right. Here goes.

？！

I can pitch in too if it's not enough...but, I bet it will be.

Leave it to me! I'll help, too!

This gets stranger by the moment...but if it is what we truly need to do, then all right.

Besides, I can understand how...encouraging self-inflicted pain can be.

Heh, just what I'd expect from you, Karna! Great strike! Keep it up!

All right, let's dig in!

It's actually working! I can't believe it!

More! I need more!

Don't worry if you accidentally hit me for real! It'll take way more than that to kill me!

All right, curry, get ready, 'cause you're going down the hatch!

Bravo.

You did it. You ate the whole thing.

All right! Way to go, Aśvatthāman! I knew you had it in you!

Though, uh, not without it taking its toll...

Dammit... That all...you got...? Hahaha, I eat spice like this...for breakfast...

Incredible. He's sprawled on the ground, but he's still digging away at the floor with his spoon.

That's Aśvatthāman for you. He's got more guts than anyone. Anyone.

That was a fine show of appetite indeed. In fact, it's made me a little peckish myself.

As promised, you may now purchase this deluxe spice set for half price. That's the blood, sweat, and tears discount.

Thank you for shopping with us.

...By the way, if any of you happen to know where I can find some of the top secret ultra spicy seasoning rumored to only be available in this city's blackest of black markets...

...I would be most grateful if you told me.

Phew. There. The world's finally starting to look normal again.

Th-thank you for putting yourself through that...

？！

Heh. I may have employed some unusual tactics, but this now makes two successful negotiations in a row.

In fact, I'd say I've demonstrated the principles involved masterfully. But it's me, so that's no surprise.

Now we can go on to the next event, the Old Souq, in peak condition. Wahahaha!

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Here. Let's try this shop.

Welcome! We've got all kinds of beautiful textile goods here. What would you like?

A perfectly normal store owner!?

...Wait, what am I saying? I shouldn't be surprised. Normal is supposed to be, uh, normal.

Which is exactly why this place is perfect.

Hmmm. Hmm, hmm.

Master. You've got your eye on that cloth pouch set, don't you?

Don't try to deny it. I noticed you looking at it longingly.

Those were the eyes of a man mulling over whether or not to take the plunge on something nice.

？！

How could I not?

Now, by my estimation, this set is priced well beyond rip-off range.

So you're going to haggle it down to something reasonable.

Now that I've given you a master class in how it's done, this should be easy, right?

Sure, I could just buy it myself, but where would the fun be in that for you?

No, the greatest happiness to be found in this souq...

...lies in finding something you want and striking a bargain for it yourself.

And what kind of souq guide prince would I be if I didn't let you experience that joy for yourself?

？！

Well said.

Just don't forget how kind and considerate I can be even after you get back to Chaldea.

So you're interested in this pouch set, sir? Very well... I can let it go for...this much. How does that sound?

Huh? Hahaha, surely you must be joking, sir. I'd go out of business if I let my wares practically walk out the door like that!

This is the best I can do. Still not enough? Hmm, you're good...

Thank you for shopping with us!

What a lovely set of pouches you purchased, Master. So, did you have them gift wrapped beca

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What a lovely idea! I'll have to try looking for some souvenirs myself if I can find the time.

Every souq we've been to has had such wonderful things for sale, haven't they?

I know what you mean. I wish I'd stocked up on more chocolate dates while I had the chance.

The ones I bought earlier are almost gone. (Munch, munch)

This was a very good market, full of life and laughter. Cutting-edge buildings like the Dubai Mall are great...

...but there's just something about seeing all these historic shops lined up together that just warms the cockles of my heart.

Ghh. V-very well. You've got a deal.

Th-thank you...!

Haha! My impeccable negotiation skills pay off once again. A beautiful white cloth, acquired at an absolute steal.

Now then... Karna, come here. I've got something for you.

...?

I happened to find this very nice cloth at the store there.

If you add it to your summer outfit, it should shield you from the sun and sand.

Here, put it on. My aesthetic sense demands it.

...All right. Thank you.

Mmhm, there we go. It suits you perfectly, just as I knew it would! Wahaha!

Hey, Boss! Check out this belt!

Doesn't it look just like the one Duḥsaha wore when he dressed up to impress a woman?

I still remember how bummed he looked when he came back after she said it looked like a rat died on his waist!

Oh, yeah. It looks just like that belt, doesn't it?

All right, I'll buy it for you, Aśvatthāman.

Huh? Hell no!

Hehe. Tenochtitlan was right.

It may be our first time here, but there really is something nostalgic about this market.

There's so much energy there but it's also just kind of relaxing.

I'm not sure how it manages to be all those things at once, but it does.

I hope I can hone my haggling skills to the point I can go shopping on my own one day!

？！

It won't be long now before we reach the goal.

What was the deal again? We go to the fountain plaza when the counter hits 9998, then BB puts on some kind of special show?

And then, we finish off by going up the Burj Khalifa, right?

？！

Good idea.

Then let's finish up our shopping and head back to the hotel for today.

(Sigh) So I finally finished showing you around all of Dubai...

I wish we could have spent more time together... I wonder if we'll get another time loop this year...

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