4th Area: Race Highlights

...

When it comes to matters of love, I am, of course, a most understanding emperor!

With my great expertise, I have determined that this must be a lovers' quarrel between the bear and the goddess.

While it would be entertaining to watch, right now, I am a racer. I will drive through this valley whether she permits it or not!

Agreed. Love, hate, romance...

Such things appear without reason, stubbornly remain, then disappear before you know it.

They are like stains you are unsure whether you should clean or not. Now is not the time to worry over such trifles! We must push on!

It's not going to be that easy! Open fire, me!

Drat, there are too many of them! We cannot possibly navigate such a storm of arrows!

Dammit, look out! You're going to hit the hillside!

Khhh!

...Hmph! They are so soft as to be infuriating! But they are also in our way!

There is such a thing as "too big" you know! As they say, just enough is plenty! And indeed, mine are perfect!

You're wrong! The bigger they are, the happier they make darling!

Now's our chance! Tactical genius that I am, I have a cunning plan to trap them all! Who needs Zhuge Liang when you've got Nobbu!?

It's a shame I couldn't do it myself, but I could watch Sabers taking double damage from Archers all day!

Mmm, sweet satisfaction! Wait, is it just regular damage now since they're technically a Rider and Caster?

No, no. I can practically SEE their souls being crushed, so it's all good! Mmm, that's the stuff!

It's going to take a lot more than that to get past all of me!

Grr, stand still and let me catch you already!

A school swimsuit, huh. Not bad, not bad at all. But it's what's inside the swimsuit that counts.

And your body's just too young to fill it out properly...

Is this him? No... (Sad)

Now now, don't let it get you down. You may not believe this coming from me, but it doesn't matter if you're real or fake.

What matters is whether this love is real or not.

Personally, I think you're well on your way to being great someday. Seriously, one more step up and you're there.

A few more years and you'll be busting out in all the right places. Then I won't be able to stop myself from

What's that? You'll never grow any more? Well that's too bad.

I'll thank you to stop hitting on my daughter so brazenly, and in my presence, little bear!

(Huff, huff)... Between Medjed, my mummies, and your summoned characters, we're covering a lot of ground.

But there's just so many of them that we can'tAah!

Oh yeah, these are surprisingly well-balanced. Size, color, shape... They're the total package.

Between you and your partner, you've got all your (second) bases covered! How's about letting me join your team too? I can be your mascot!

Wh-why you little! Get away from me! Unless you're the one we're looking for, in which case, give yourself up!

Damn, he's so fast!

Do you know the story of Wardán?

Who's that?

In brief, a shop owner named Wardán finds a suspicious woman who'd always buy an unusual amount of things, and decides to follow her...

...Only to end up seeing something completely unexpected in her basement. Something really, truly unexpected...

Wow... No wonder you're a storyteller. That was just a few short sentences, and I'm already dying to know what happens next! What did he see!?

Well...it turns out that the woman...and the bear she was keeping there were... (Embarrassed whisper)

...!

Essentially...the moral of the story is that bears have dangerous appetites. Do with that knowledge what you will.

D-did you really need to tell me that story NOW!? How can that possibly be helpful!?

This is... This is by far the worst indecency I have seen so far.

...?

Nothing but shameful, forbidden acts everywhere I look!

The problem lies with those bears. In a way, they are an even more direct threat to public decency than what happened in the area we just left.

Yeah, these are some seriously bad bears!

I remember a bear named the Black Wind Demon once stole my kasaya. Thankfully, Wukong got it back for me.

I once thought a bear would make a good playmate for my son, but these Orion bears won't do at all.

That does it. I have made my decision.

Now is the time to stand my ground. I shall do everything within my power to see that decency is upheld!

If I see something shameful taking place in the east, I shall fly there like a bolt of lightning. If I hear of something shameful taking place in the west, I shall come down like a peal of thunder.

Yes... In order to preserve decency in this depraved world, I must become lightning itself.

(I kind of feel like that's what she's been doing all along anyway.)

If I am truly to be swift as lightning, I do not have the luxury of being choosy with my methods.

The time has come to put this attire aside.

This outfit is both a symbol of my determination to keep the world decent...and the shackles that keep my true power restrained!

Whoa, really!?

I think so. When I showed it to Kintoki before coming here, he told me:

"Raikou, whatever ya do, ya better not take that outfit off. Ya need ta keep covered up, or..."

Then he trailed off while avoiding looking me in the eye. As a mother, I could tell how worried he was about me.

...However! If it will serve the greater good, I have no compunctions about shedding even this outfit!

It should be all right. I am sorry to depend on you for assistance, but you have proven yourself a trustworthy companion.

If something should go wrong, I have faith that you will take action.

I'm not totally sure what you're talking about, but the Buddha is clearly still on your side! I see no problem with me continuing to assist you!

Thank you very much. I truly do hope that the Buddha blesses me with his protection.

...All right, here goes!

What the!? This aura! I sense a new, phenomenal rack nearby... But where? (Flutters toward Raikou)

There! Hubba hubba! It's like they have their own gravitational pull, and I'm helpless to resist! (More fluttering)

Oho, this is handy. Instead of us going after them, it looks like they're coming right to us.

Ah, and I believe I've just been hit with a divine Buddha inspiration!

If we can't tell the fakes ones from the real one...we can just string them ALL up!

If we hand over ALL the bears, one of them HAS to be the genuine article.

I'm sure the goddess can figure it out if we bring them all to her!

It's not like she told us to ONLY bring her the real one, after all, so we should still be able to meet her condition this way.

Okay, I feel good about our chances now. Maybe I'll even roll up my kasaya so I can really let loose!

Whoa, there's another great pair over here!? They've got a really nice shape to them too. I think I'm in love. (Flutters towards Sanzang)

She kind of seems like a pushover, too. The type who's surprisingly innocent about this sort of thing. I dig it. (More fluttering)

Huh!? It looks like they're coming to me now too, for some reason!

Is my virtue that obvious? So much so that just looking at me makes them want to come over so I can admonish them?

If they are coming to greet us of their own accord, that will save us time.

Come. We will capture every one of these creatures and give them the chastisement they so richly deserve!

You shall not escape, beastly disturbers of public decency! My lightning shall straighten you out! Wickedness, begone!

Eeyaaah! (Snapped out of it) She's gonna kill me!

Stop that! I never told you to treat them that way! Leave my darlings alone!

Huh, I didn't even notice we'd made it all the way to the depths of the valley.

Still, now that we've caught most of the bears, this could work out nicely!

Heeeeeey, lady goddess, we brought you your boyfrie

Well, so much for that idea. She's so worked up that she's not even listening.

Guess I'll just have to go with my old standby for getting people to calm down: sutras!

This'll be my first time reciting to a foreign goddess, so she might not understand what I preach...

But that's okay! (Physical) Buddha Power admonishes the soul just as well as the body! Here goes nothing!

Whew. That should keep you in line and respecting public decency for a while.

I...I never knew Eastern boobs were so scary. (Shiver)

Now look what you've done! I've never seen darling shiver in fear like that before.

It's downright... Downright...

Adooorable! Wait, hang on... This is my real darling, isn't it? Hurray♪

It's okay, darling, there's nothing to be scared about. Look, Western boobs! Mine are still the best, right?

Hmm? Back when I was clinging to those hills, shaped as similarly to yours as they were, the sheer size felt new and fresh at the time, but these...

These are always so accessible that I've kind of gotten bored with them...

Daaarliiing!

(Gasp) Wait, I didn't mean that! I was still half asleep, and my true feelings just slipped out!

So they ARE your true feelings!

...Oh my. I can see it all too clearly.

If I were to take Kintoki or Master in my arms, cradle them to my chest, and give them a loving embrace...

Only for them to tell me they had "gotten bored" with me...I cannot even imagine the depths of my despair.

Does this mean you are still a bad bear? Was your earlier punishment insufficient?

Eeeeee!

...Now that we've found the real one, I think I might have an idea. Are you familiar with this golden headband?

Oh my... Isn't that the same one that your disciple, Sun Wukong wears on his head?

Wait. I've heard of that thing too. You're kidding, right? Please tell me this isn't going where I think it's going!

Here, this is for you!

What's this? It looks like a shiny golden hoop...

Try putting it on your pretty little bear-friend's head.

Okay, okay!

Then, if he ever starts acting up, all you have to say is: (Whisper, whisper).

Huh? (Whisper, whisper)?

Ow ow ow ow ow! It's tightening, it's tighteniiing! All my stuffing's gonna pop out!

Oh wow, what is this? A one-word punishment system made just for my darling?

So now, if darling ever looks at, touches, thinks of, walks by, or smells another girl...

Or another girl loses a hair in the street and he steps on it, or he sits in a chair that's still warm from another girl's body heat...

Or he sees his reflection in a puddle made from raindrops that hit another girl's body...

I can just say (whisper, whisper)?

Ow ow ow ow! I can't take this! I really can't!

Seriously, look at me! I've got a literal hourglass figure going on!

Ahahahaha! This is amazing! Now darling will never look at anyone but me again!

I...I'm sorry!!!

I apologize! I repent! I promise I'll behave for a while!

So please, let me keep my stuffing inside! Don't make me choose between a world with nothing but men or death!

Oh, darling, you don't need to cry and apologize like that, happy as I am to hear you say all that...

Now darling and I can finally go back to having cuddle times together!

I'm done being a gatekeeper now, so go ahead and pass through my valley and hills all you like.

I see. Very well. Since the other teams will soon be catching up, let us go on ahead and catch our breath.

From there, we can keep an eye on the others for any signs of indecency.

Sounds good to me!

...I wonder if I should have warned them, since I am a goddess and all.

Maybe they'd want to know about the purpose of all the textures that have been placed here, and how that girl is still seething because of what they did...

Oh well, I can't catch up to them now anyway, so I might as well not worry about it! Come on, darling, let's you and me enjoy some long-overdue one-on-one time!

...You're not still carrying that shiny golden headband behind your back, are you? Are you? (Shudder)

By the way...may I ask you something about that headband?

You never truly meant to use it, did you?

Nope. You could tell, huh?

The one I can produce is just a simple imitation of the one Lady Kannon gave me.

It doesn't last very long, so there wouldn't have been much point in putting it on that bear.

Besides...I might use it for a while when fighting monsters, but it's not really something I like doing.

I see... Is that because it is a sort of one-sided punishment, devoid of love?

Hm? Well, yeah, that's part of it, but more than that, it's just kind of passive aggressive, you know?

If someone does something wrong, you should just tell them so on the spot in no uncertain terms. That's what being a teacher is all about, right?

And you can't do that if you're mumbling to yourself from the shadows.

When I first began my journey, I had a really long way to gonot to say I don't still have a long way to go even now...

And I think Lady Kannon gave it to me as a way of helping me out. But now, I don't need its help anymore.

These days, I bet I could even reach an understanding with Wukong with nothing but my bare hands! Especially now that I've got so much virtue built up!

I see. I agree that there are some things which can only be conveyed through direct interaction.

That is why I am on this journey to protect public decency.

Exactly. I bet I've built up a lot of virtue on this journey alone. Now that it's almost over, I'd like to tell you this again...

Thank you for inviting me. I'm glad I did this. I guess the Buddha really was on our side, huh?

Ah, if only others were as appropriately ashamed of their unacceptable appearances as you, and had agreed to come on a journey to make amends...

This truly is a difficult path we walk, isn't it.

(Um, I didn't think I was especially ashamed of my appearance...)

(Yeah, no, I'm definitely not.)

Anyway, we're almost to the finish line now! We can't celebrate just yet, but since we've made it this far, I say we aim for the top spot!