Team Formation: Helena's Summer Vacation <Part 1>

Summer...

Summer...

The beach...

Swimsuits...!

The summer event season is here!

I've been waiting for this moment! Last year's barbecue tournament may have ended in a draw, but this year will be different!

A draw? I see you still refuse to face reality. I quite handily won that tournament!

Oho, so you remember our match last year, you oddball? I don't know what else I should have expected from the man who showed up at the beach wearing a suit.

What a truly bizarre idea that was. What was in your head to make you wear such a tight suit? Was it all you could afford? Did it remind you of your boyhood?

Regardless, it's sad to see one so lacking in fashion sense! It almost makes me wish I could share my all-weather suit with you!

If anyone here has made foolish, bizarre choices in their manner of dress, it is you. Since you seem to have forgotten, let me refresh your memory.

Our venue was a barbecue on the beach! We competed fiercely to prove which of us was the superior cook, even as the blazing sun cooked us in turn!

Of course I remember that much, you fool! I also remember how I missed my chance to try Japanese beef!

But that's my only regret! Why, you ask? WHY!?

Because in the end, you turned pale and had to have Ms. Blavatsky nurse you back to health, all because you were a vegetarian!

What a right fool you looked! Though I will say you did look quite comfortable, using her lap as a pillow! Some gentleman you are! Wahahahaha!

Do you ever shut that oversized mouth of yours, you overly litigious furball!? That does nothing to change the fact that victory was mine on paper!

What did you say!?

That does it! This year, I will prove one irrefutable fact to you on the beach!

I'm the king of the barbecue!

Bring it on, you mangy plebeian!

S-so I see. Fortunately, they're only arguing about barbecue for the moment...

But if they were to fight over something serious, it could threaten the entire Command Room...

I...can't say it looks that way to me.

But then, you may be right. They may sound upset, but it's not as though they've come to blo

？！

Hrn!

Take that!

Uh...

Stop that! What do you two think you're doing!?

Just because it's summer doesn't mean anything goes. How many times do I have to tell you to use your words, not your weapons?

You two should be ashamed of yourselves, quarreling like children. If that's how you'll behave, then you can take it outside!

...But don't take that to mean it's okay to fight as long as you do it outdoors, you hear?

...I'm sorry. Perhaps the summer heat HAS gotten to me.

That's more like it. What a good boy you are.

I'm sorry you had to see that... I think I'll go give myself some time to cool down...

What a skilled mediator you are, Helena.

The moment you glared at them, they turned meek as little kittens!

Kittens, huh. Is that some form of modern slang? I guess they ARE like a couple of cute kittens.

Hmm, I guess I do.

Haha, you can call me a mom if you want. I don't care about my age anymore.

？！

I guess I'm just not mentally young enough to run around with all these youngsters anymore.

Compared to most Servants, I lived a very long life, so if anything, I feel like a granny!

？！

Hehe, I know, you wouldn't think it to look at me, but I really am an old lady.

？！

Yeah?

Mentally young...?

You certainly do look young, though. Could it be that...

...you still retain all your memories from when you were alive?

You got it. I remember everything from my life, including my old age, as if I'd never died.

So then, your Servant form IS the real Helena Blavatsky, from when you were at the end of your life?

Sure is.

But then...how come you don't look your age?

Haha, good question. You see

？！

Hmm, well, yes and no.

Did I never tell you before that this is how I always looked?

I put on my granny form whenever I went out in public, but in private, I usually looked like this.

You mean, you used magecraft? Isn't that

Yup. And I'm pretty sure I was in my prime in my twilight years.

I put a lot of energy into writing my book. Though I was frustrated almost all the time about how I couldn't manage to complete it.

... ...

...Oops.

Ahaha! Here I've been trying to be all vague about my mental age, and now I've just come out and said it!

Hehe. Well, I guess it's simplest to just say that I'm a lot older than I look!

？！

Hmm. Really?

...Hehe, I see. Thanks. I'll take that as a compliment.

Good day, everyone!

I just saw Mr. Edison and Mr. Tesla hanging their heads in shame out in the hallway.

I presume that once again Madame Blavatsky has succeeded in putting paid to one of their petty feuds.

And I can see that from there the topic turned to her seemingly unflappable calm...

In turn, she went on to reveal quite on her own that she is much older in mind than she is in body.

Furthermore

(Y-you really are amazing, Holmes! I can't believe you picked all that up from a cursory glance!)

That's very kind of you, Ms. Kyrielight, but I'm afraid I merely happened to overhear your conversation. Now, here is the real problem.

There's a problem?

There is indeed. After all, Fujimaru, you said yourself...

What she claims is difficult to credit, is it not?

That while she may possess a calm and grown-up demeanor, seeing her as an old woman, even if only in mind, is something you cannot do.

？！

There you have it, Madame Blavatsky. He simply does not believe you.

!

...Mr. Holmes!

There are some things one should never, ever say!

H-Helena!?

My my, it seems I've truly stepped in it this time. How terribly foolish of me.

Ah, would you look at that. I have urgent business far from here that I must attend to posthaste, so I leave you two to deal with Madame Blavatsky. Good day!

Ah!

？！

...

...You don't believe me?

You don't believe me... You don't trust me.

You don't believe me... You don't trust me... You think I'm a fake... A phony... A fraud...

Is that what you think of me? Is that how you see me?

(Mumbles indistinctly)

P-please calm down, Helena. I don't know why Holmes was so strangely adamant about that.

But Senpai never said he doesn't trust you. He just said that to express his surprise.

？！

(Mumbles indistinctly)

...Helena?

She can't hear you any more.

Indeed. "Don't believe me," "don't trust me," "fake," "phony," "fraud,"... Those words remind her of a painful past. They still cut very deep indeed.

Especially when spoken by those for whom she feels great affection.

Poor thing. She must be flashing back to how the Society for Psychical Research used to revile her when she was alive.

As far as Ms. Blavatsky is concerned, those words are nothing less than a curse! In Eastern terms, they are akin to poking a sleeping dragon!

Essentially, whenever she feels something that reminds her of the SPR, she is immediately overwhelmed!

Uh, th-thank you both for explaining what's going on!

So then, Helena must have already suffered from those memories when Senpai mentioned that earlier.

Indeed. And then Sherlock Holmes came and dealt the final blow. He is nothing if not skilled in the art of psychological warfare.

Thus, she suffered not one such blow, but two!

Indeed! Two is far greater than one!

(Mumbles indistinctly)

... ...

Is it over?

No, not yet!

Here it comes!

Wa...

Waaahhh!

So that's how it is, huh? Fine! You want to call me a fraud? I'm a fraud! A magician! A conjurer!

You say there's no such thing as Mahatma? Fine, I'm sure there isn't!

？！

It's not like anyone else in the whole world has any idea what I can see and hear! Waaah!

I-I think...she's experiencing a complete nervous breakdown!

I was afraid that might happen...

It's not often she becomes so completely overwhelmed and breaks down, but it HAS happened before...

She is a wonderful woman, full of pride and intelligence in abundance. But as with any feeling person, she can only take so much.

This is what generally happens when she is pushed beyond her limits. And regretfully...we haven't helped matters by depending on her so much.

We certainly haven't. I feel terrible for my part in this.

Wait. Come to think of it, where did that deerstalker hat-less detective disappear to?

If he hadn't stuck his pipe where it didn't belong, this would never have happened.

Grrr! You're right! This is entirely his fault! Where did Sigerson-slash-Holmes get off to!?

I'll try searching for him with my radio waves... Damn, no luck. Cursed Holmes! He must have long since made himself scarce!

...Grrr. Then I suppose we have no choice.

You and I have seen this sad sight before. Given the circumstances, it falls to us to set matters right, much as we did once in life.

I don't recall cooperating with you in any prior capacity, you mangy plebeian. But for now, I will humor you and your delusions.

We do indeed have no choice but to join forces and speak to her.

Indeed... Ahem. Helena. Helena.

... (Sniff) What is it?

You must not get carried away.

You must not let yourself become isolated.

... ...

... (Sniff) Isn't that...

Yes. That is what you once told us. There are indeed things in this world that cannot be reached or seen.

It is true. Not everyone can see them, nor can everyone reach them.

You don't need to bear the brunt of every criticism slung your way in silence, but you don't have to respond with anger either.

...Isn't that right?

...

Besides, it pains me deeply to see you so upset, my lady.

Naturally, that goes for me as well. We want nothing more than for you to be happy.

...Helena.

(I-I don't think you have anything to apologize for, Senpai...)

？！

... (Sniff) ...

(Good, we're almost there! Just a bit more should do it!)

(I know that! But we've gone as far as conventional methods can take us! We need something else that can take her mind off of things...)

(Y-yes, you're right. What else could we... Hm?)

(What's that poster there?)

(Let's see. "Come Have Fun Restoring a Singularity!"?)

("Get ready to rev your summer engines in the Ishtar Cup!")

(A race, huh...)

(That's it! A race!)

By the way, Ms. Blavatsky! Now that it's summer, what would you say to taking part in a race!?

... (Sniff) A race?

There's nothing like a good race! Once you feel the wind blowing through your hair, you can forget all your troubles, my lady.

Indeed, there truly is nothing like a good race. For once, I agree with you wholeheartedly.

And why wouldn't you? For one thing, they also make for great movies.

Indeed. I'm especially partial to the Thunderdome Rally. It's the best.

Hahaha, has your skintight suit cut off the circulation to your brain? Everyone knows the best kind of race is a Cannonball-like one!

What was that...!?

Um, please try to stay calm, you two... You were doing really well.

...Heh.

Thanks for helping me snap out of it, guys. You too, Mash, Fujimaru!

I should know better than to fly off the handle like that at my age. Ugh, I'm so embarrassed. Just forget everything you saw here, okay?

？！

Thanks!

Now, what's this about a race?

A race, huh... Yeah, it might not hurt to do something like that for a change of pace! It might even be a good way to blow off some steam!

Excellent!

Agreed. Besides, summer only comes once a year. You have every right to enjoy yourself now and then!

Yeah. You're right. Okay, I'll do it!

And there's no time like the present! Mahatma Change!

Mahatma Change!?

...What do you think? I tried changing my class so I'd have a more 21st century summer look!

!?

Wha...

？！

I didn't know we could change classes so easily! Wait, hold on. This can't be right!

Oh, pay it no heed. That's just how it is with these sorts of events. Not that I would expect a mangy plebeian like you to know that, of course.

Now let's see... Hmm. It looks like you need a partner for this race.

Aw man, now what am I going to do. I already Mahatma Change'd my class...

But my Kumara Wheel is only big enough for one. The mobile lab I use as a Caster can carry more than one person at a time, but...

Hehehe.

Not to worry! We were the ones to suggest this race to you in the first place.

Naturally, you will have our full cooperation!

Precisely. There may be plenty of Heroic Spirits more powerful, but there are none who could prepare a custom vehicle nearly so quickly as the two of us!

？！

Right then. We've no time to waste! We shall build the Supportive Direct Current Thunderdome at once!

Not a bad name at all, at least for a mangy plebeian! But I am afraid we shall call it the Supportive Alternating Current Thunderdome!

Direct Current.

Alternating Current.

...What about the Supportive DC/AC Thunderdome?

Done!

Great. Okay then, let's go have ourselves a great race!

Will do!