Section 5: Third Chain: Subtle Advice from a Legion of Holy Maidens Who Speak with Their Fists, Staff, and Cooking

All right, it's time to tackle the third chain!

Jeanne here! I'm ready to do my best!

What a lovely day. I bet even the anxious white rabbit would take it easy on a day like this.

Coo, coo.

Indeed, it's a great day for breaking chains. Whoever we're up against, I am confident in our victory.

...What? Did I say something wrong?

Hehehe, it's nice to see you all so excited.

I know there's a lot to think about, including Lord Bhīma...but we can worry about that once we've defeated the other two Servants!

Okay, let's get going! Lovey-dovey!

...Oh!

I-I'm sorry. I've been hearing people say it so often I guess I got into the habit myself.

...Oh! I-I guess I've gotten more used to hearing that phrase than I thought.

Thank you for matching me, Master...

？！

I don't see the problem. I think it's a beautiful phrase! Lovey-dovey!

I know I should follow suit here...but I'm not going to.

So, you're here. Then let's have a good, clean fight.

There's three of them!?

Um...

Technically, my Rider self and Ruler self are still just me in different outfits, but

Probably because it's Valentine's Day, we all exist simultaneously.

？！

But don't worry. Even though there are three of me now...

...we're each still just as strong as usual!

That's what worries me...

And of course, we're all equally excited to guard...

...the Lovey-Dovey Heart Johanna Statue!

(You know, I think I'm starting to get used to hearing "Lovey-Dovey Heart.")

So we're up against three Saint Marthas. Each is a formidable opponent, so we'll have to be careful. Let's go, Master!

？！

Oh, wait. Why don't we have a meal first?

What? What are you talking about, Martha?

Uh, I mean...Christmas Martha.

Huh? How did we get on the subject of a meal, Caster me?

Well, come on! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Can't you see? We have the real Lady Johanna from the Lovey-Dovey Heart Johanna Statue right here!

So I'd love to show her some hospitality if I can... Is that okay?

Oh...

W-well, in that case...

Huh? Er, um... What do we do, Master!?

Don't you want to at least think about it for a second!?

Well, this IS Martha's cooking we're talking about, so I can hardly blame him!

Yaaay!

Could you make some desserts, please!? I would love sweets!

I'm not used to eating food from other countries and cultures, but Martha's cooking is another matter entirely.

A-all right, I'll join you too, then! Oh boy, I can't wait!

O-oh, I see. That's too bad.

... ...

？！

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Really? You do!? Oh, that's wonderful. Okay then, just leave everything to me!

I'm going to make so much yummy food, it'll make your head spin!

I lost...

You sure did.

Hahaha, don't be so hard on yourself. I wouldn't have been able to refuse that offer, either.

Hm hm hmm♪

Um...

Yes?

Oh, it's just, I didn't feel right standing around letting you do all the work by yourself.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Umm...

Yes?

...No, never mind. Okay, why don't you help me peel these vegetables then?

Right!

I guess we'll just wait here for them to finish.

It's a little strange having you here with us, Martha. I'm so used to seeing your Rider self busily cooking, too.

You think?

Well, my Caster self was very excited for this, so I think the best thing I can do now is support her from here.

More importantly, about Lady Johanna...

Yes?

Why did she make such an enormous statue?

O-oh, well...

The truth is, Johanna actually didn't make that statue at all!

Huh, really? So it just appeared without her asking for it?

I believe that's true, yes... What about you, Master?

I see...

Well, whether she wanted it or not, we're still going to protect it.

Agreed. It is necessary, after all.

Necessary?

Oops. I've said too much.

Would you mind not telling Lady Johanna about this?

So, by "necessary," did you mean this is something Johanna needs?

Oh yes, I can say that much.

Rama, Master, please keep this a secret from Johanna. It's for her own good.

Hmm...

I think this must be important.

Just like children need fairy tales, Johanna needs to fight this battle.

Quite right. I've had my doubts on that score as well.

If she truly didn't desire anything of the sort, surely her wish would have been granted in a different way.

Which means the statue is very important to her.

Then I find myself questioning the choice of naming it the "Lovey-Dovey Heart Johanna Statue."

I think it's a great name! It's so cute!

Cute...? True, I suppose it is.

Hehe, I wonder if Lady Johanna will pick up on it.

？！

？！

Every Servant guarding the statue wants Lady Johanna to realize...

...that there is something very precious to her here.

Lalala♪

Oh my, you're so good at peeling vegetables, Lady Johanna!

Really?

Hmm. Maybe that's because someone like me would naturally be a good cook.

I think it's great that you can do so many things!

Yes, that's true. It still doesn't feel real, but even so...

Now we just take this out, and...it's done!

It looks better than I thought it would... The part I worked on, I mean.

You think? You seemed very comfortable in the kitchen to me.

Well, I didn't learn these skills naturally, so they still don't quite feel real...

... ...I'm so sorry.

For what?

I knew you were Saint Martha...

...and I've been so casual and familiar this whole time.

Oh, don't worry about that. I hardly feel like I'm Saint Martha myself.

Besides, in this form, I'm basically who I was before I became a saint.

Between the two of us, I look younger anyway!

Well...yes, that's true, but...

Also, um, aren't you forgetting something?

What's that?

After we eat, we're going to fight.

So I don't think we have to worry about being rude here!

You know...you have a point.

You'll be fighting to destroy the Lovey-Dovey Heart Johanna Statue.

...And we'll be fighting to protect it.

But that doesn't mean we need to disrespect each other. There's no reason we can't all sit down at the same table.

Isn't that right?

Yes, it is...

So please cheer up, Lady Johanna! If you want to destroy the statue, you should be raring to go!

R-right!

Let's all do our best out there!

Yes! I absolutely will!

Okay, everything's ready. Dig in, everyone!

？！

Everything looks delicious! Thank you, Martha.

Lord, we offer thanks for thy bounty.

Thank you, O Lord.

I appreciate that there doesn't seem to be anything here I can't eat. Now I'm really excited.

Teehee! I'm so glad you made dessert, too!

Children need to eat proper meals so they grow up big and strong, but sweets are what give them, well, sweet dreams.

So I think I'll be just fine if I only have the candy.

Absolutely not.

Hmph. You can be so stubborn sometimes, Jeanne!

Okay everyone, please, eat up!

Mmm, this IS delicious! I know I didn't do anything to help, but good job, me!

Well, well. Here I am, getting back from my meal break, only to find all of you with a lovely spread.

Glad to hear it! But don't forget why you're all there!

Salisbury steak with a side of grilled tomato.

Ooh, that sounds really good, too...

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You know, I may as well ask: Are you sure you won't consider just stepping aside?

...(Munch)

That's fair. We do understand your position.

Even so, we're determined to protect the Lovey-Dovey Heart Johanna Statue.

That's right. How could we refuse after they begged us to do it?

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Hey! Shush, you two! That's supposed to be a secret! Remember?

Why do you need to keep this person a secret?

Well, it's not so much that we have to. It's just...

...as Lady Johanna is now, I'm not sure she would be able to see them.

...?

Thank you for the wonderful meal!

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It was scrumptious!

Yes, it was.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Now...

Fight time!

(Inhale...) (Exhale...)

All right! If that's what we have to do, then I'll do my very best!

That's the spirit! This probably isn't the kind of thing I should say to an opponent...

But you need to do your best at everything, or nothing's worth doing at all!

Of course, we'll be giving this battle all we've got, too! Now, get ready to face Saint Martha...times three!

We...we won!

They were really strong...

Even I've never gone up against three saints at once before.

One of us still isn't a fully-fledged saint, but... Okay! Let's call it here!

Agreed. Part of me would like to go for just ooone more roun

Ahem.

I mean...keep defending our charge... Anyway, yes. I think we can call it here.

Okay, Lady Johanna, we have a very important present for you now.

A-again?

No ifs, ands, or buts. Now, take this! Hallelujah!

I think this one hit a little harder than the last one!

...I should fill it.

...Huh?

Still...

...Ah.

... ...(Sigh)

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Are you there, Lady Martha?

Yes, of course. I wasn't planning to leave for a while yet.

I think I've started to see what it is you're trying to teach me.

I see. What do you think that is?

Well, for instance, that I have no self.

You...have no self?

Hmm, how can I put this...? For example, earlier, I helped Lady Martha with the cooking.

But I think that's probably because people assumed that someone like me would be able to do that.

It's as if...I didn't always have that ability. Instead, people who came after me kind of decided to assign it to me after the fact.

Of course, the same can be said of just about any hero.

For example, the miraculous powers someone has can later come to be regarded as an Innocent Monster.

True... I've also heard of Servant bodies taking on characteristics they didn't possess when they were alive.

So I think, if I stay the way I am now, I'll never be able to fill my suitcase.

Right now, the only things taking up space in it are empty boxes, filled with nothing but air.

But today...today, I was able to pack in something important.

What was that?

The fact that I cooked.

Even if I am just an empty shadow in a Singularity, that fact will never change.

I'll admit...I still have a lot of different answers running around in my head.

But, I also think I've truly found something important to me.

Knowing you, Lady Johanna, I am confident you'll soon arrive at the truth.

Though I don't know what you'll think when you've found it.

I'm sure I won't regret it. At least, I think I am.

Then it was well worth fighting you. Good luck with the last two chains.

...Thank you!

Fweeeh...

That is a very strange sound for a pope of all people to make.

So what? I repeat: So what!?

Now, now, don't be like that, Johanna. Hang in there! You can do it!

Hmm, I don't know. Johanna may be a pope, but she's first and foremost a woman.

Personally, I think we should be more forgiving if she makes weird sounds when sighing!

Oh, forget it. I'll try to avoid doing that from now on, before I just have no dignity at all left.

Aww, that's too bad. I like it when you act childish.

For that matter, I wouldn't complain if you went and became a child. Hehehe.

So, have you found an answer that will satisfy Bhīma?

Ulp. Um...no, not just yet.

I see. Well, we're in no rush.

If you find yourself unable to stop worrying, you can always ask someone else for their opinion.

Then why don't you tell me what you think, Lord Rama!?

My reasons won't be much use to you. I am the king of Kosala, and a guardian of humanity.

If I must sacrifice one to save nine, then that is exactly what I will do.

On that, I will never compromise, no matter what anyone may say.

My regrets may outnumber the stars, but that is the line I draw.

...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.

Oh no, it's fine. I'm the one who volunteered to share.

Anyway, our positions may be very different, but I hope my perspective was of at least some use to you.

What about you two? Any thoughts?

Not me! I hate what I hate, and that's that!

Still, if someone told me they wanted to build a Lovey-Dovey Heart Jeanne D'Arc Alter Santa Lily Statue...

...I'd be happy to let them do so!

I-I see. I wonder if I could relinquish this particular position...

S-so that's how it is for you... How about you, Nursery Rhyme?

You mean a statue of me?

Hmm, good question. In my case...

I think I might make the same choice as you, Johanna.

Huh!?

Which is why I can't tell you what it is until you figure it out for yourself.

I don't suppose you could at least give me a hint, could you?

Nope! No hints for you.

Besides, how could I give you one when this whole Singularity exists for your benefit?

...At least, I think it does.

A Singularity that exists for Johanna's benefit, huh?

This isn't really making me feel LESS pressured...

Really? If I were you, I'd be honored!

Honored? Why?

I mean, this whole Singularity is for you, which means you're the star!

Doesn't that make you happy?

I know Christmas rolling around always makes me want to be the star!

I guess that's one way to look at it...

Well, I suppose this is as much help as the three of us can offer.

If you're still not sure what to do next, I suggest you try talking to Master and Mash.

Do you think they'll have a more helpful answer?

I doubt it.

But having some people to commiserate with can help more than you might think.

And above all, putting your heads together might just help you come up with a solution.

I see...

So that's why I'd like to worry over this problem with the both of you!

？！

Thank you!

Of course we'd be glad to worry with you.

Aww, I wuvI mean, love you both...

Th-thank you.

And in that time, I realized I was proudest of the fact that no one could do a better job brushing Fou than I.

That's the one thing I refuse to give way to Senpai on.

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Can you imagine how horrible it must be to make holy proclamations without even being aware of it?

I mean, even just saying something like "I'm tired" can leave everyone around you exhausted.

... ...What were we talking about again?