Section 1: Moments until the Curtain Rises

There! I've eliminated all the hostiles that were trying to invade the theater!

Merci, Mante!

Not at all! ...So, a play, huh?

Yeah. And if that wasn't bad enough, why do I have to play Christian?

I'm not sure what to say besides, "Because that's the role Cyrano cast you in?"

I don't know if I can pull this off!

...I see.

So to make this Singularity's Holy Grail manifest, we have to put on a play?

Yes, exactly! I couldn't tell you why, since I don't know myself, but that is how it is!

Hmm...

A play! Sounds like fun! Super fun, even!

Come on, Chuck, let's do it!

Hold on, Stolfo. You shouldn't rush into things like this too quickly.

On another subject, I want the starring role!

Just to make sure, are there any other ways to make the Holy Grail manifest?

Even if there were, I'd never tell you! I want to put on a play, too!

I had a feeling that was it...

Er, Cyrano de Bergerac? You should know that we're all rank amateurs when it comes to acting.

If you're expecting world class performances, it could take years for us to get to that point.

Don't worry, I'll account for that. Besides, the audience isn't going to care.

Audience? There's an audience?

Of course! You've seen the ghosts wandering around this theater, haven't you?

Yes.

Well, there you are.

...Then why have we been beating them up!?

Just knocking a bit of courtesy into rowdy theatergoers so they go back to watching quietly. Not a problem!

As for your performance, it's quite all right that you're amateurs. You're Servants, after all.

Surely you're all courageous enough to stand onstage and let your voices fill the theater! I refuse to believe otherwise.

I'll do it! I'll do it! Me, me, me, me!

I want to be the star!

Both of you, settle down already!

Not to worry. I've already decided who should play the lead character of Cyrano!

Who!?

Me.

You!?

Come on, guys, that's more than reasonable.

...Unfortunately, as much as I would like to play my part, I'm simply not fully myself right now.

As I am now, all I can do is loudly proclaim my love in secret and public alike.

So we're going to need an understudy for Cyrano.

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Like you, good elder! I'm counting on you to play me!

... ...Good elder?

It looks like you'll be playing Cyrano de Bergerac, sir.

Congratulations!

Huh? M-m-m...

Meee!?

All right, this will be the cast.

Cyrano de Bergerac will be played by Grandpa Don.

Christian will be played by Chuck.

Sounds good!

And Roxane will be played by

Hello!

I'm Yu-Yu, and I was summoned to play Roxane♪

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Oh, you know my True Name? Did we meet during a Holy Grail War or something? Anyway, thank you for having me!

Thank YOU for being here!

Is it just me, or are you treating her very, very differently than you're treating us?

Well, of course I am! She's Roxane!

I'll do the best I can♪

I'm Cyrano's friend, Ragueneau! Looks like he's the owner of a pastry store. Sounds yummy!

And I'm Count de Guiche, the bad guy, huh? I like it!

And I'll be working behind the scenes with Caster (Master)!

Then I'll invent the props and manage the all-important marketing campaign to get the word out.

No need for that.

Of course there is!

Hmm... Well, I suppose it's better to have a barker than not.

I'm a maid, so I'll stick to working behind the scenes. I will serve as Lord Grandpa Don's manager.

He is playing the lead character, after all. The! Lead! Character!

Hmm, that's a lot of Servants asking to have jobs with the stage crew... Oh well, I'm sure it'll work out somehow.

By the way, old man, could I have a word?

Yes, but don't call me "old man" again. What is it?

Well...I was hoping you could tell me what the play "Cyrano de Bergerac" is about.

'Cause I'll be honest, I hardly know the first thing about it! Sorry!

Very well, I'll give you a quick synopsis. Clear those ears out, because it is time to listen closely!

Got it!

The main character is, of course, me: Cyrano de Bergerac, a beautiful man with a large nose.

I write poems, skillfully wield my sword, and wax philosophical when the moment is mete.

My beloved Roxane is my love interest.

She is my distant cousin and my close childhood friend.

Meanwhile, Roxane falls in love with a young man by the name of Christian.

For various reasons, I decide to aid Christian.

Since he is a hopelessly tongue-tied simpleton with not an ounce of wit or literary talent...

...I assist him by telling him what to say to win Roxane's heart.

Then, to counteract Count de Guiche's nefarious meddling, I come up with a plan that involves having Roxane and Christian get married.

However, shortly after the wedding, Christian and I are sent off to fight in the Siege of Arras...

...and Christian is killed in battle, leaving Roxane a widow so soon after her marriage.

Fifteen years later...

...Roxane learns that I was the one writing heartfelt poems to her all along, but alas, my life has already come to an end.

Thus concludes the heroic tragicomedy "Cyrano de Bergerac."

You poor guy!!!

Huh? So that's what this play's about!?

I was kind of under the impression it was a comedy...

I suppose that depends on how you look at it. I do promise you it's a tremendously entertaining script, though!

Cyrano is right. At first, it sounds like a very tragic story...

...but the actual play is full of hilarious slapstick and quirky, memorable characters like, well, Cyrano himself!

Quite right. No audience would be interested in a story that had nothing but tragedy to offer.

It's not a proper story unless it has a happy ending!

Ah, one who insists on happy endings! You must be American! Well, no matter.

Cyrano.

In your estimation, the Holy Grail should appear if this play is performed to completion, right?

Correct, which is why we're going to perform this play.

Then...does that mean you want the Holy Grail for yourself?

No, it doesn't. All I want...is to put on a play.

If you want the Holy Grail so badly, you're welcome to it.

Of course, the other Servants might have something to say about that, but that's your problem!

All right, I'll hold you to that. Until then, go ahead and direct us however you see fit!

The first thing I want you to do is patrol the theater, like I mentioned earlier, and help to grow our staff.

I'm fairly certain some of the nameless spirits aimlessly wandering around here could be useful...

...so I want you to knock them out and then bring them on board!

Extreme, but simple! I like it! Okay, we can do that!

Let's go, Caster!

Oh, yeah. Now that I'm looking closer, there are a bunch of spirits wandering around here.

We've got ghosts... Demonic Beasts... Servants... Okay, let's start beating them up and adding them to our crew!

I'm still not quite sure what's going on, but it sounds like it's our duty to help with this play.

Okay, let's do this!

The play includes a supporting role as a pickpocket, huh? ...Probably better not use too much Presence Concealment then.

Me strong! Me carry heavy things!

...I can also play one of the enemy Spanish soldiers.

I'm, uh, Mante, the crew chief. Thanks for your help, everyone.

(Dammit, Your Imperial Majesty, couldn't you have come up with at least a slightly better name for me!?)

No problem.

I see, I see.

This Christian guy's not the sharpest tool in the shed, so his lines aren't exactly difficult for the most part...

The perfect role for me!

What about me? I think I might be too old to memorize all these long lines.

Don't you worry, Grandpa Don. I'll handle your lines.

Oh, so I just have to stand on the stage? That's easy!

Er, I'll need you to do a little more than just that, good elder.

Hehehe. It's kind of funny when you think about it.

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In the play "Cyrano de Bergerac," Lord Cyrano makes up for Christian's lack of literary talent...

...by writing love letters to Roxane in his stead...

...and sometimes by coming up with romantic musings on the spot.

And now, in a performance of "Cyrano de Bergerac," Lord Cyrano will be doing the same for the actor playing him.

In other words, I, Cyrano de Bergerac, will be playing someone playing me, playing me...

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It truly is.

Unfortunately, I do think this is the only way Sir will be able to perform on stage...

All right, let's start with a table-read. Never mind trying to act for now. Just focus on speaking your lines loudly and clearly!

You got it!

And don't worry about the behind-the-scenes matters, either. I already know what props to use and when you'll need them.

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There's a reason she's my closest friend and my beloved princess!

...Ahem.

Okay, everyone, let's give this thing a shot! We're gonna make it as awesome as we can!

Look, it's her! She's beautiful! What is her name?

Oh, that's Roxane! She's Cyrano de Bergerac's cousin.

No way!

You say I have a large nose? Is that all? Don't you think that's a little lackluster as insults go?

Listen up, my young sycophants, and let me show you how it's done.

If you wished to fight me, you could have said, "Perhaps I should do you a favor and amputate that overgrown nose for you!"

If you wished to make light of me, you could have said, "My, I had no idea such protruding noses were in vogue. It must make a wonderful hat rack!"

Yes, that should do for now.

But you? You may as well be a walking pile of nonsense in half-fitting clothing!

That is to say, you are but a buffoon. The only letters you'll have in your life are the meager few needed to spell "fool"!

Tch. Pay him no mind, Monsieur le Vicomte!

Who is it?

It is I, Roxane!

Oh my.

I have nothing to say to you, Christian. Not when you speak so clumsily.

Go, leave at once.

I... Uh...

(Ah, my beloved. Love grows stronger in the cradle of my heart.)

Ah, my, beloved. Love grows, stronger, in the...cradle? Of my...heart?

What does that mean?

(Just shut up and say it!)

Just shut up and say it!

Er, forgive me, Roxane. This is all merely a misunderstanding!

Just, because, I am handsome, gives me, no right...to steal your heart!

That would be too unjust for words!

I have no right to trod upon your happiness!

I, too, wish to be loved! All right, I'm going to fetch Roxane.

The rest, I leave in your hands!

Cyrano! Cyrano! Come quick! It's Christian!

There is but one thing I will bring with me to the afterlife. That is my...

Well, everyone? What did you think?

... ...

Gaaah, I can't believe how much I suck at this! I was so stiff, you'd think I was playing Pinocchio!

Ahahaha, you were tripping all over your lines! You must've been a bundle of nerves!

How in the world did you say all your lines so fluidly!?

I've got to be honest, Boss... That was really, really bad.

I know, believe me! Ugh, dammit!

Hahahaha, hang in there, everyone! Remember, the Holy Grail is riding on this performance!

All right, I'll just have to keep at it until I improve! I know I can be a lot more awesome than this!

That's the spirit.

As for you, Stolfo, you were overacting a bit there. Try to tone it down.

Okay, got it.

Me, I think I was a little too stiff.

No, that's fine for you. You're the bad guy, and nobody takes bad guys without a backbone seriously.

So that's how it works, huh...

Okay, I'm gonna give it a little more effort!

That should take care of all the key props.

But I'm sure we'll add more as rehearsals continue.

Lord Lion, Lord Assassin, I'd like you two to keep working on new props together.

Lady Mante, I'd like you and Lord Saber to patrol the theater.

Oh, that goes for you too, "Caster."

Perhaps it's because the Holy Grail lured them here, but it seems the ghosts have respawned, so...

Anyway, once that's done, please return to your respective stations and help as needed.

Yes, ma'am. Let's get to work, everyone!

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... ...

Hmm. It looks like there are already some wandering around.

I don't love the idea of attacking our audience, but

Tickets for saaale... Overpriced tickets for saaale...

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Oh good! Then we don't have to worry about holding back!

Couldn't sell a single ticket... They've really been cracking down lately...

And that's our patrol done. I'm heading back to the greenroom to help build the larger props!

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Hey, Master! Thanks for handling the patrol! Oh, are you here to help us out now?

Okay, then how about you help me practice my lines?

Just read the other character's lines. Oh, and don't worry about acting. You can be as flat as you like.

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How happy I am that you and I have become friends!

... ...

Man, this guy's attitude really turned around the instant he learned Cyrano and Roxane are cousins.

Christian does have that side to him, yes.

But he has many good qualities too...

...like encouraging Cyrano when he can't make up his mind!

Y-yeah, good point. After reading the script, it does sound like Christian's a better guy than I thought.

I used to think he was obnoxious and shallow, with no redeeming qualities.

Cyrano, Christian, and Roxane make up one of theater's great love triangles.

Both Cyrano and Christian have qualities they envy in each other...

...but they agree to put aside their differences and fight for their friend, and the one they love.

I think that's what sets "Cyrano de Bergerac" apart from so many similar stories.

Hehe. Well, either way, pretending to be someone else is kind of fun.

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Yeah.

There are a lot of sides to me, you know. The king...the adventurer...the legend...

Each is a part of me.

But right now, I'm pretending to be someone who is not in any way like me.

That's what makes it so fun.

Hey, I know! Why don't you give it a try too, Master?

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Aw, c'mon. I think you could be great at it!

Welcome back, Master. May I ask for your help with something?

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Thank you so much.

Then would you mind cutting this fabric for me? Here, you can use these scissors.

Hehehe. Sir's really giving it his all, isn't he?

Hmm, I don't know. I still can't help but wonder if Grandpa Don is cut out to play Cyrano.

You mean, because of his nose?

Indeed. It's neither especially pointy, nor particularly big.

Yes, that's true.

Still, I have complete confidence that, of everyone summoned, Sir is best-suited to play Cyrano.

Oh?

In the play, Lord Cyrano is arrogant and brave, but also very sensitive.

He has no trouble finding the courage to stand up to nobles like the Count, but he can't bring himself to tell Roxane how he feels.

And that all seems very much like Sir to me.

Hmm, I see.

Most people associate Don Quixote with the windmill episode, and so see him as something of a dreamer...

...but his story ultimately ends with reality beating him down until he's forced to abandon his chivalry.

Indeed...

Dreams and reality seldom overlap. The courage to face an enemy in battle is very different from the courage to pursue love.

One could argue that's all vanity...

...but I also think there's something about the lengths he goes to when he's showing off that draws people in.

I see... "The lengths he goes to," hm?

I think you might just have a similar quality yourself, Master.

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Hahaha. Frankly, you should be proud of yourself just for not collapsing from fear!

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Okay, everyone, opening night is almost upon us! Break a leg!