Section 4: Filming Must Continue!

Oh no. Murasaki Shikibu just collapsed!

？！

It's okay Senpai. Please keep recording. I'm sure we can handle this!

For the time being, we should bring her somewhere with a proper bed to rest. I think there was a room over that way, right?

Indeed. It is a small room, but we certainly cannot leave a beautiful sage like her lying on the floor.

So how is she? I know she's probably not dead since she hasn't disappeared, but that's all I can tell.

Well, she's still breathing. But I have no idea when she might wake up.

You the one who prepared our drinks?

I was not. While I did serve the drinks...I didn't have time to add anything to them even had I wished to.

？！

Wait. Assuming I'm remembering correctly...

I think I saw her taking what looked like some sort of medicine before she entered the ballroom.

Ghh... Ngh...

Salieri?

...Don't you dare look at me.

What do you want me to perform? Who demands it? What else are you trying to pin on me!?

Aaaaaahhh! I... I... I...

Ahh, ahem! Ahem, ahem! Any moment now, ahem! (Glancing)

Shut up!!! I... I...!

... ...

...I am the actor playing Antonio. Nothing more, nothing less.

Phew. Glad that's over with.

Anyway, this is all really weird. Murasaki Shikibu's the writer and director for the picture, right? I can't see why she'd want to poison herself.

I don't know what she took or why, but if nothing else...I think this absolves Salazar.

Archer.

Hm? What's up?

Why are you wasting our time? You could settle matters right this moment with your Clairvoyance.

Oh, that? Uh...

Would you believe that I'm having a hard time using it in this Singularity?

Hmm. Very well. If that is what you claim, I will take you at your word...

Hm... Hey, Salazar.

Given your choice of words earlier, I take it you aren't the one who prepared the drinks then?

No, I wasn't. All the glasses had already been filled by the time I picked up the tray.

Then who did prepare the drinks?

Whoever it was, if you're innocent, now is the time to speak up.

...

？！

I did.

Whoa, whoa, just a moment there. Why are you all looking at each other as if to say, "Glad that's settled. Now we can all go home"?

I'll have you know I was simply doing my job as this movie's production assistant!

I even brought this grape juice straight from Chaldea so it could be used in the very scene you were filming!

Uh-huh. Sure you did. How about you save us all a lotta headache and just confess, old man?

That is quite enough with the baseless accusations. I have already solved this particular mystery.

？！

Simply put, there is no responsible party in this case. It is merely an unfortunate accident.

My witness here can testify to that.

I just happened to be paying him a visit to have him help me with a few... On second thought, never mind what I was doing.

All that matters right now is that he knows the truth of what took place there.

First, I have a question for all of you.

Have any of you seen some wrapping paper with the words "Hohenheim: Safe, Cutting-edge, Forward-thinking"? Perhaps in a trash can somewhere?

Um, there's a trash can over there. Let me take a look...

Yes, there is. It says it right here. "Hohenheim: Safe, Cutting-edge, Forward-thinking"!

Then it's just as I suspected.

That's the medicine I prescribed for her.

As you know, it puts the patient into a state of deep sleep until they completely recover from their fatigue.

？！

She asked me to prescribe something that would help with her exhaustion...

...so I gave her two doses of that medicine.

See!? What did I tell you!? I'm an innocent man! Innocent! Let me say it one more time: In! No! Ceeent!

Yeah, yeah. La-di-freakin'-da. Enjoy it while it lasts, geezer. Prolly won't ever happen again.

It seems Ms. Murasaki had been up the entire previous night when she agreed to take on this project.

Given that she must have already been exhausted from lack of sleep before she even began the challenging work of writing the script and putting the production together...

...it is no great surprise that she thought to ask Paracelsus for help in dealing with her fatigue.

No shit, Sherlock. Staying up for days on end seriously messes with your decision-making.

...I did wonder why she wanted the medicine, but decided it wasn't my place to pry.

Perhaps it would have been better had I done so in this case. My apologies, Master...

Having reached her limit, Ms. Murasaki decided to resort to Paracelsus's medicine, and collapsed shortly thereafter.

As should be abundantly clear by now, this was simply a set of completely understandable circumstances culminating in an unfortunate accident.

Naturally I looked into the professor there, but alas, for once he is indeed innocent. He may be a reprobate among reprobates, but in this particular case, his conduct has not been questionable.

What do you mean "alas"?

At any rate, good show proving my innocence beyond a shadow of a doubt, Holmes old chap!

I can't actually say that I am grateful to you, but thanks just the same! (Radiating insincerity)

...Hahaha, you're quite welcome. (Equally insincere)

For my part, I would much rather not reduce Chaldea's fighting forces unless it were strictly necessary, so I'm thrilled to be able to resolve this peacefully.

Guess that means you're innocent too then. My bad.

Oh, I can't blame you for that. I'm just glad this misunderstanding has been cleared up.

Hmm? What about my apology?

Piss off, creep.

Hmm... I'm glad that's cleared up, but now what are we gonna do?

I don't see how we can keep shooting a movie without its writer and director...

Wait, I've got it! We've still got options!

After all, Chaldea's also got not just one, but two other extraordinary writers among our ranks!

Absolutely not.

Nary a line shall I write!

But I didn't even ask you yet! Why're you both turning this down!?

It's not like this is a physically intensive job, and you should both be able to make full use of your talents!

Lady Murasaki is the one who crafted this story.

I've never been shy about offering my opinions on others' lives, but I have not a word to say on the subject of others' stories!

Besides, I have no idea of her intentions regarding the story's direction or conclusion!

I wouldn't dare try to take it over myself with so many unknowns!

Really? I wouldn't have figured the great William Shakespeare would be afraid of a little unfinished story.

It's not a matter of courage, you buffoon. He just has the sense to know his goddamn place!

Yes, there are only so many ways to structure a story or develop a plot.

An author of Shakespeare's caliber could easily write a continuation to this story on the spot if he so desired!

But there's more to stories than just their structure and plot. They must also have themes!

The theme shapes everything about a story. It's the soul of the work; the core idea that answers the question of why the author wrote it.

And every writer worth the ink in their pen knows trying to continue a story when you don't know the theme can only result in a mess.

There's an expression from the Far East that sums it up well: "One can make an image of the Buddha, but one cannot make his spirit."

Do you really want Shakespeare to waste his time writing soulless drivel like that?

(I've certainly written my share of soulless drivel purely for entertainment, but this hardly seems a good moment to mention that.)

I-indeed. It would be one thing if Lady Murasaki were supervising my efforts, but given her current incapacitation, my hands are firmly tied.

Even if she did have notes or an unfinished script to peruse, there is every possibility that the whole affair may change dramatically by the final revision.

There, you see? We're shit out of luck.

The only thing we can do now is wait for Sleeping Beauty there to wake up.

I swear, this is the whole problem with popular writers. They don't even know how to take care of themselves...

I-I see... I guess it makes sense that a famous author would be a little...reluctant to take over another famous author's work...

But man, now what are we gonna do? I guess we'll just have to give up on this Singularity's magical energy...

Maybe, maybe not. In spite of everything we just said, I do get the sense that this story is well on its way.

Between the background exposition, character introductions, and this latest shocking event, I'd say all the pieces are in place for an interesting story indeed.

But you're still not going to write the rest, are you?

Indeed not. We have no wish to incur the noble lady's ire, after all.

However, if the cast were to take over their characters themselves, I suspect she would be willing to accept that.

What do you say, everyone? Would you be willing to continue playing your parts and see where this story goes from there?

Huh!?

Aha. I hadn't considered that approach.

Instead of outsiders like us taking over, we have the cast continue on in the spirit they inherited from their director...

Yes, I doubt Murasaki would have anything to cry about in that case. Brilliant, William! Truly cunning!

We've got a mansion with a lot of history, a beautiful widow who inherited a fortune, and a bizarre assortment of guests...

It's a damn near perfect setting for a mystery. Off the top of my head, you could call it something like "A Meihousou Most Foul."

In other words...

You're the lead actors now!

Hohohoho. Hey, dipsticks. How about a little reality check, eh?

WE AREN'T ACTUALLY ACTORS YOU MORONS!

...How about you, Professor? Perhaps you could make yourself useful for a change?

Hmm, the problem is, I would never come up with such a slapdash scheme. I prefer my schemes to have wrapped up nicely before anyone knows something is amiss.

While the idea of writing a mystery based on one of Sir Moriarty's criminal plots does sound appealing, I'm afraid I'll need to give it a pass this time.

When writing a mystery, you begin with the end and work backwards. Every character introduced must have a purpose and everything should be wrapped up neatly in the end.

Conversely, such stories tend not to be particularly dynamic.

Right. If everything fits together too neatly, the story starts to feel robotic.

Ideally, you want the characters to ignore the writer's carefully laid plot entirely and start going about their own affairs.

Don't worry. As long as you all commit yourselves to your parts, the rest of the story will basically write itself.

I guarantee it'll be an absolute train wreck, but at least you'll get it done!

I think even that might be giving us too much credit. Like Jeanne said, none of us have ever acted before.

Do you guys have a mirror there? Yes? Then spend an hour or so and take a good, long look at yourselves.

Listen to me. Every last one of you is already a character. You're all famous enough to be engraved onto history itself. You're inherently interesting just by your very existence!

As long as you all seriously commit to your parts, the end result can't help but be compelling drama!

...Yes, indeed. If nothing else, it will be compelling!

And even if it isn't, well, that's all right too! Everyone should experience abject failure at least once or twice!

Been there, done that. Thanks for reminding me, prick...

Hmm. So, long story short, you're going to keep filming, right?

Well, I did say that at worst, we could always make a documentary, and it's definitely not like we expected everything to go smoothly.

I'll have to ask Mash to focus on looking after Murasaki Shikibu, but as for the rest of you...

Jeanne. Ryouma. Salazar. Tristan. Ozymandias. Arash. Man in Grey.

And of course, Fujimaru.

I'm counting on all of you to keep an eye on the General, the camera rolling, and to do your best to make this as good a movie as possible!