Rice Golem

You know, even just harvesting rice like this is a lot of work, isn't it, Senpai?

I know, right? And it really takes a while to get the hang of these stone knives!

Heh heh heh. Looks like this is my time to shine.

My first step cuts the rice. My second threshes the rice. And my third polishes the rice!

Sandan Rice Harvest!!!

Did you see that, Senpai!? Okita just harvested all that rice in an instant!

It was like poetry in motion!

Haha, so little Okita's now a professional rice harvester, huh?

I'm still the captain of the Shinsengumi's First Unit, you know.

Hey, don't worry about it.

I think this is way better than being called a man-slayer.

You know, I never brought this up before, but those metal instruments you guys use are really sharp, aren't they?

In Yamataikoku, we have some that we got from other nations, but they don't cut nearly as well.

What can I say? Japan has always been weirdly good at making blades.

Incidentally, my katana's called Heshikiri Hasebe, and it's extremely sharp, too.

You can't hide from it, not even beneath a cupboard.

Yeah, that's not exactly the most pleasant topic.

Oh, incidentally, my katana's called Kashu Kiyomitsu.

Let's see, I think yours was called Kijinmaru Kunishige? Am I right, Mr. Saito?

Yup, that's it. There ain't a lot of swords out there that fit me as well as this one.

And this baby hasn't let me down yet.

I see. So your swords all have names. That would explain why they cut so well.

Just giving something a name when it didn't have one before makes it stronger, after all.

Hm? What's going on now?

RICE RICE RICE RICE RICE!

Are those...rice golems!?

This was, of course, my doing.

？！

Harvesting crops is hard work, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to show that making golems is also hard work.

Uh, but never mind that now.

Since there was so much rice to spare, I was asked if I could use some for golem material.

The idea was to make golems that would serve two purposes: soldiers in battle, and rations for the rest of the army afterward.

However, the rice turned out to be so high-quality that the resulting prototype golems ended up as solid as iron.

...And on top of that, all their excess rice power has them on a rampage.

So while the soldier side of things may have turned out well, it seems my idea for edible golems was a failure.

So who was it that asked you to use rice for golem material, anyway?

Her. Why?

I thought it was an innovative way to solve both military recruitment and rationing problems in one fell swoop.

That's brilliant, Sister! Nobody in their right mind would ever think to use golems splattered with the enemy's blood for food!

(Siiiiiiiiiiiighhh...)

At any rate, I'd appreciate it if you could stop them.

I guess we've got no choice! We'll just have to smash them to pieces using my fists and everyone's extremely sharp blades!

Oh, but before we start, I've got one more prediction (read: announcement):

No animals were harmed and no food was wasted in the creation of this production!