Act Three: Rallying Cry from the Calmest Region (5/6)

We've finally got enough resources for another summon!

All right, this next Servant needs to be

？！

...Which probably means they're going to be a Berserker, huh...

Do you not care for Berserkers, Captain? I think they're pretty cute, myself.

You think? Between their brute strength and their inability to communicate, I think it's sensible to be on guard around them.

？！

Uhh... U-uh...?

Phew! This one's not too mad as far as Berserkers go!

Hmm, I see. Still, a mace, huh... It's going to take a lot of work to turn that into a weapon capable of destroying that ship's armor...

Uh...

Here's the story, Fran...

Uh... Ah...

Can I...be hot...?

Oh! That's right! Once again, you summoned just the Servant we need, Senpai! Scáthach-Skadi? Are you there!?

Of course. Here, Frankenstein. Wear this swimsuit, and be as hot as you like!

Uhh. I'm not hot, but I'll bring the heat.

My Bridal Blade can skewer that whale.

Wh-whoa, that's a big honkin' blade! It does look like it would be perfect for piercing the ship's armor and damaging its interior!

Although... No matter how you slice it, that weapon can't have been designed with any thought to portability, right?

Hehe, hehehe... The scientist who made her must have been some kind of idiot savant. I'd love to meet them sometime.

？！

Uhh, uh? Don't know these people.

Who're you?

Hi there! I'm Yang Guifei! But you can call me Yu-Yu if you like.

Oh wow, Fran, you're a lot taller when you stand up straight, aren't you?

Ooh, you're tiny. And Chinese. Tiny Chinese. So cute. Nice to meet you.

Aww, you're the cute one here, Fran! Nice to meet you, too!

Mm. And you?

Ehehe... I'm Van Gogh.

Van Gogh.

Uh?

Ehehe...ehehe

Gogh ho ho.

Pfft... Good one...

I think I like you! Are you a monster too?

!

!

？！

Want to hang out?

Ooh, would you mind modeling for me? Ehehe, I think I could make a great painting of you. You remind me of a sunflower...

'Kay. Let's go.

Um... Do you think there's something about Professor Van Gogh's identity that needs to be hidden?

Okay, Batty, I think that's our cue to get out of here and head to the cafeteria!

Sifu Skadi said she managed to recreate lychee-flavored ice-cream bars, so let's go see how they came out!

Gyaaa, I just said something I shouldn't have, didn't I!? Ma-chaaan! Please don't get rid of meee!

...Don't worry about it, Batty.

Oh kami, that was horrible. I can't imagine any more horrible torture than hearing your own clone say something stupid while literally standing right next to you...

All right, this may not make up for it, but: incoming! I'm picking up enemy hostiles headed our way on my radar! And it looks like more of those midsize guys!

Oh, right! I was so caught up in the conversation that I didn't notice! They're coming in from two-one-three, and they're pinging the heck out of us, too!

？！

(Huff, huff) Here! I brought Fran with me!

After she lied down, she wouldn't move a millimeter, so I had to put her on a trolley... Ehehe, because I'm a Gogh-getter, right?

So tired. Too much effort. Someone crank the AC.

I-I'm sorry to interrupt your heartwarming new comedy routine, but we really need your help right now!

Uhh, we won! We beat the event!

？！

Uhh... Sleepy. Used too much...electricity...

Very well then, why not come to my workshop and take a nice long nap? I have a good deal of work to do on your Noble Phantasm, anyway.

Can I come, too? Ehehe, I didn't finish my sketch yet, so...

Yes, of course. I am always happy to be surrounded by my beloved children.

...I don't think we can tiptoe around it much longer. When do you think we should bring it up, Master?

？！

Well sure, of course, but...

...Hey, Yu-Yu? Since they're so obviously talking about something that's meant to be secret, would it be terrible if we were to interrupt and join them?

You sure live up to your name, don't you, Batty?

I think it would be best if we left this matter up to them. Besides, as the two people in charge of this ship, they seem the best equipped to do so.

I couldn't have said it better, Acting Vice Commander! The best way we can help now is by doing our jobs.

Then you might want to quit yapping and get your head back in the game, Yu-Yu. Hear that little guy around one-three-five? Not anymore you don't.

Aah! Oh man, now you're beating my score again...