A Prescription that Teaches the Importance of Health 1

What? You used to treat patients by having them drink fúshuǐ?

That's quite the unusual method.

Tell me more. How much did you give them? How did you administer it? What diseases did you treat with it?

Hohoho, of course I'm happy to share.

When you get to be my age...

...just meeting youngsters who want to hear what you have to say is enough to make your day.

I can take notes, Doctor.

That'd be great. Thanks.

If this fúshuǐ method turns out to be an effective form of treatment, we'll have to write it up in a proper report and share it with the rest of the medical world.

Indeed. Spreading correct medical information is why we're here, after all.

Unfortunately, as far as our club activities go, we're still no better off than we were before.

It doesn't matter how much medical information we collect if we don't have any chances to announce it.

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Pardon the intrusion, everyone. I'm Mash Kyrielight, professional assistant, and this is

Nice to meet you all. I'm Altria Caster, but please, call me Alcas for short.

Oh, if it isn't Master and Mash. How nice of you two to pay our humble club a visit.

Unfortunately, as you probably know, our club is...having some difficulties right now.

Hmph. We put this club of medical professionals together because we thought making a doujin at ServantFes...

...would be a good way to share valuable medical information with the world and promote the benefits of healthy living.

I never thought things would turn out like this.

It seems ServantFes is much less hospitable to freedom of expression than I was led to believe.

Of course, innovative treatment methods have always faced persecution thanks to outdated societal norms...

...and the interests of those in power, so this admittedly isn't anything new, but it's still disappointing.

Please don't misunderstand. This isn't what ServantFes used to be like.

During the last one, everyone was much more free and relaxed, and every day was like a festival.

And with the sense of liberation that comes with being on a tropical island, it really felt like anything was possible...

I see. This Singularity already seemed pretty liberating to me, but the last one must've been livelier.

Oh, no, in terms of liveliness, it was about the same. If anything, this Singularity feels like it's even more extravagant...

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to compare them in terms of which was better.

It makes perfect sense that things would change for a sequel, whether it's for a manga, a game, or anything else.

The committee in charge of Hawaltria may have stricter rules than Luluhawa, but that's just to ensure everyone's safety.

The last festival may have been a little more chaotic than this one...

...but there are advantages and disadvantages to each.

The only reason the Anti-ServantFes Alliance came about here is because they refuse to accept the genre restriction.

And now, the Normalization Committee has recognized their grievance as legitimate.

If an alliance doujin gets a high enough ranking during the finale on day seven...

...they've agreed to rescind that very restriction.

That ridiculous wager, huh. I understand your point, but I thought I already told you that there's no way we can make a doujin under these conditions.

I know. That's why we came to see you today. We found a solution!

Oh?

As you know, the only acceptable genre this year is "Altria."

I know you may feel like that restriction is much too limiting, but

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Hmm?

I see. So that is what you meant.

You're saying we still have room to interpret this restriction in a way that suits our sensibilities...

Perhaps we have been overly focused on the word "genre."

Fine. Maybe we do have room to reevaluate our treatment methods at this conference.

In that case, why don't we start over and think about this problem again from the beginning?

Now would seem an especially opportune time to do so, seeing how Master and his compatriots weren't present for our first discussion.

So, um, what kind of book were you all looking to make in the first place?

We were going to make a manga about the importance of staying healthy.

Things like, children who don't brush their teeth regularly get cavities...

...but those who do keep all their teeth in good condition.

Essentially, we wanted to make a book that would teach people how to take care of themselves just by reading it.

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However, when we were told the theme had to be all about Altria

We decided there was no way we could make the kind of book we wanted, and gave up.

I loved the idea of a book I helped create teaching people the value of good health.

It sounded like a modern-day manifesto, which is why I decided to join this club myself.

So to be told that we can no longer make the kind of book we want, well...I don't know what to do about that.

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I was told that a great manga can touch people's hearts and minds like nothing else.

If that's true, that means this is a great way to practice a new kind of brainwashI mean, way of influencing people!

？！

Allow me to ask a more basic question, so that we can more accurately ascertain our current symptoms.

What IS genre, anyway?

That's...a good question. I think you could say that, at its heart, it's a type of categorization.

Though I suppose there are also situations where the word is synonymous with "subject matter" or "theme."

Basically, whatever a work of art focuses on determines the category it falls under... Something like that, I think.

But themes are also something you can't see directly.

You definitely don't see many books taking a page to explain exactly what its themes are.

If a reader thinks a book is expressing a certain theme, then it is, regardless of what the creator originally intended.

I see. So while themes certainly do exist...

...they're generally determined by what each individual consumer brings to the work.

Hmm. I think you've touched on something very important in your question, Miss. Nightingale.

Something that may just be what we need to get past this hurdle.

Indeed. Genre, or theme, may definitively exist, but that genre or theme is far from being set in stone.

In which case

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... ...

Hehe. Hehehe... HAHAHAHAHA!

Aah! You're laughing about that!? And a hearty laugh at that!?

What was so funny about that idea!?

Don't worry. Dr. Asclepius is just having a mild episode.

It will go away on its own in a short while.

And if it doesn't, I'll nurse him back to health myself.

Now, let's just wait and see what happens.

Mwahaha! I see. So that's the ticket!

In that case, I know exactly what I need to do...

Hm? Why are you looking at me like that?

And why did you just take out that sharp and shiny-looking knife?

Wait. Is that a scalpel? If you just want to show off your fancy blade, maybe you should talk to Muramasa instead!

Damn, I couldn't get a good hit in with my scalpel.

And thank goodness for that! What the hell were you thinking!?

One moment you're overcome with joy, and the next you're coming at me like we're mortal enemies!

I didn't figure you for a combat nut like Mélusine!

I-I also think this merits an explanation!

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I agree. Depending on your answer, I may have to place you under immediate medical observation.

Hmm. I think I get where you're coming from, but let's see what you have to say for yourself.

... ...

Every con attendee on this island knows that Altria is the only acceptable genre.

Which means...

...for this summer, Altria could end up becoming a common unit.

???

Oh. Now I see...

Hmm...

Let me put it to you this way.

If I were to write a medical book on a particular kind of surgery...

...I'd probably use liters to describe the amount of blood we would need to keep on hand in the operating room...

...because liters are a unit for measuring volume currently recognized around the world.

If I'd been summoned in Europe a thousand years ago and wrote a similar book then, I'd surely use a different unit of measurement...

...and I'd probably use yet another one if I'd been summoned in Asia two thousand years ago.

The unit itself isn't important. What's important is that whoever reads the book gets an accurate picture of how much blood is needed.

Similarly, in this case...

...if Altria is the common theme, that means we can use Altria as a basic unit of measure!

Good point... When treating patients, we don't usually work with ideal values for each individual.

Instead, we typically take the values for a generic adult male and convert them to the closest match for that patient.

I see. So here on this island, you want to use Altria as a yardstick that everyone will be familiar with.

Exactly. We'll have everything in our manga be Altria, including all of the characters and the medical units.

The committee shouldn't have any issues with that.

It'll be a pain, but the values shown will still be correct once they're converted.

So you're approaching this from a completely different angle now, hm?

Yes, this should work. I don't see any problems with it.

So, when you attacked me with one-hundred-percent good intentions

That's right. If I'm going to use you as a base unit of measurement, I need to know everything about you.

Not just your overall height and weight, but the length and weight of your individual body parts, how much blood you have, your shoe size...

I had to ascertain all the data we would need to create an accurate representation for a medical and health-related manga.

Hell, if I could, I'd ideally like to vivisect you to get a really complete picture. Hehehe...

You HAD to? No you didn't. Look around. Everyone else is appalled by what you just said.

Making doujin is supposed to be fun, right? Who'd want to make a boring old textboo

Wait. You're all keeping quiet not because you're appalled, but because you feel the exact same way he does?

Come on, Mash! Fujimaru! Say something to these...these...maniacs!

Your logic is impeccable, Asclepius. I have to commend you for your incredible professional dedication.

... ...

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Damn, she got away.

Well, I can't blame her. Information just doesn't get more personal than this for a young lady.

I was just about to put up a Bounded Field to keep her here, too. She's certainly quick on her feet.

What shall we do now?

She's a talented Caster, so it won't be easy to track her down.

Hmph. We already know we need to put out a book promoting healthy living, and that we'll need Altria to make it.

We can't give up now.

Fortunately, there's another way.

Twins almost never reject transplants made from one to the other. That should only be more true for multiple versions of the same person.

I see. So you mean

There's more than one Altria out there, remember?

Now, let's go make a house call to one of them so we can get the data we need!

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Yes. Would you mind if we came along for our own reference?

Hmm. Good attitude.

If I'm being honest, I think I'm going to need more assistants than just you, Master...but I won't need all of you.

Those of you staying behind, I'd like you to get things ready so that we can quickly incorporate the data into our draft once we have it.

I can assist with the home visit.

I will, too. I could use the exercise for my own health.

Then Paracelsus and I will stay behind and get our current draft ready for revisions.

While we're at it, start Altria-lizing the characters, too.

Change the energetic boy who wears shorts even in winter and has to wash his hands to keep colds away to "Al"...

...and make the girl with the sweet tooth who always gets scolded for forgetting to brush her teeth "Altie."

Understood. I'll have the rough draft revised before you get back.

All right, let's get going.

Just you wait, Altrias. By the time we're done with you, we'll have every last bit of your medical data in a chart.

No patient can keep things hidden from their doctor!

Hehehe...!

A word of grandfatherly advice: maybe keep your scalpel hidden until you're close enough to use it.

Hm? I just had a very bad feeling.

We sure did.

What's that supposed to mean?

It almost sounds like you didn't want us to find her.

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So, this is the youngest Altria...or at least, the youngest looking one.

I've checked records on all the Altrias. There are two main types: a base model and a mature model.

And this one's physical data would seem to be in line with the base model we need.

Oh, hello, Doctor Servants. How can I help you?

I heard you mention something about physical data, but you should know I still have a long way to go as a swordfighter.

So if you're looking to collect data on average Saber-class types, I'm afraid I won't be much help.

No, it's not that. You see...

Ahaha. Now I understand.

...Well, I'm gonna get going then! (Dash)

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Wait! We can't publish our book without your data to use as a base.

You heard the doctor. Please, try to understand.

I do think your goal is admirable...

...but I just can't tell other people every last detail about my body!

I'm sorry, but I swore a Camelot oath to secrecy!

Huh!? Am I just running in circles!?

There we go. I've never tried imitating Zhuge's Qi Men Dun Jia before, but it looks like it worked out just fine.

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Well, I knew there was a strong possibility she'd try to ditch us, after all. Let's just say I haven't lived all these years for nothing! Hahaha!

Now, if you wouldn't mind switching out that ribbon for this yellow one...

That's not what we're here for.

Oh, right, I suppose not. Phooey.

...Hm?

Hey! Isn't that

Hm?

Grown-up me's Alter!

Even I'm not sure how to explain our relationship, but right now, she's my only hope!

Oh? I didn't expect to find another Altria here.

She's even wearing shorts, just like Al.

It's like she was made to help with our doujin.

Hehehe, very well then. I'll examine both of them down to the last millimeter!

Didn't you say before that these Altria girls are physically identical?

If that's true, wouldn't we only need one of them?

Data is crucial. You can never have too much of it.

The more the better, I'm sure.

Murderous intent? ...No, it is not that. But it is greatly unnerving.

I have never before felt such a threat that was completely devoid of malice.

Be warned that my sword does not know restraint. I would keep your distance if I were you.

Don't worry about restraint here! These people are after our personal information!

If we let them have their way, they'll tell the whole world sensitive things like...um...

...how many hamburgers you eat in a day! I think!

...

I suppose I must commend their reckless bravery. Not even Merlin would dare go that far.

Even medicine can be ruinous when taken to excess. It seems I must bring the hammer of justice down on these demons in doctors' guise.

Yay! Thank you!

But excessive eating isn't good for you either, you know? You should probably at least stop making every burger you get a double.

Damn, I was careless... I had no idea the hamburgers in Hawaii were so much bigger...

When you have as much medical experience as I do, a quick physical exam (scalpel included) is enough to gather most of the data we need. All that's left now is to record it.

Hmm. Height: one hundred and fifty-four centimeters. Weight: forty-two kilograms.

Oh, right. Your earlier remark actually helped me realize something.

It would be a good idea to include a section in our doujin on how many calories one should ideally eat in a day.

But don't worry. The amount you eat will be listed as one Altria...

...and we'll just convert it to an amount that's appropriate for the average person.

Of course, I can't yet say whether that number will be 0.5 Altrias, or one hundred Altrias.

Huh? That's how you're going to do this? So then, my weight will also be

That's right. Your weight will also be listed as just one Altria, and it'll be the standard other people's weights are measured against.

Hmm... Well, in that case, I guess it's okay?

(So they mean to use Lily's data as their base, not my own.)

Very well. I now understand what you demon doctors are trying to do, and I am okay with it.

Indeed, royalty has served as a standard before, such as when an ancient king of Egypt's handbreadth was used as a unit of measurement.

Thinking about it in that way, using Altrias as a unit is not so strange either.

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Thank you for your cooperation.

We'll be sure to give you a copy of our doujin once it's finished.

Fantastic! We've got all the data we need!

Now we just need to go back and start drawing.

Hehehe. If those committee fools think their cowardly restrictions can hold back the tide of medical progress, they're sorely mistaken!

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The medical field has a great deal to gain from sharing the importance of staying healthy with the public.

If people didn't understand that they were directly responsible for maintaining their health...

...they would never go see a doctor at all, now would they?

That's why it's so important to bridge the gap between people, their health, and the medical profession.

(Wordlessly nodding along in assent)

After all, how else am I going to get people to drink fúshuǐ, become overcome with gratitude...

...and feel like they owe me such a great debt that they have to do my every bidding? Hohohoho!

...What?