Section 4 "PHAAARAAAOHHH"

...Hey, are we there yet?

Sure, just wait a little longer.

Robin, Robin.

Um... Who is this mage you're talking about, and how is she like Elisabeth?

They're practically one and the same. She's just a bit more intelligent.

She's a bright one, but she's narrow-minded. Arrogant. Bossy. Fairly serious, but with a low boiling point.

She jumps to conclusions and goes out of control, leading to disastrous consequences. It's all very painful to watch.

Oh...

Foou...

What? That's not like me at all.

It's just like you.

(Gulp)

She's a pharaoh, and a queen, as well as a self-proclaimed god of the sky and the underworld.

What? Don't you think that's too much description? Only idols of little talent have that many traits.

Noblewoman, vampire, serial killer, bat wings, dragon horns, idol, dragon girl. Isn't that too much too?

Wait, how come all my traits sound negative!?

Hey, hold it. I'm detecting a powerful response...

Who's intruding in my territory this late without an appointment? Begone, impudent ones!

Fooou!

S-So sudden!

Waaaaah!

Calm down! It's an illusion. An illusion!

Hey there, Your Majesty.

May King, you must be mad to bring them here.

We made a pact to protect one another's territory.

Firstly, stop calling me that. It's embarrassing.

And secondly, what's your deal? Bringing out a scary illusion to intimidate us and whatnot?

Well, what did you expect?

I don't know about you and the shield girl, but that woman there has a nasty aura.

Eh? Me?

Indeed. Tell me your name, impudent one.

You're... I don't know...um, like... The fact that I feel a subtle kinship with you is ticking me off!

This may sound sudden, but I hereby declare you my eternal rival! Got it!?

Fine by me!

For some reason, when I'm talking to you, my head starts to hurt and it's ticking me off!

I see. So it looks like our opinions align.

Right. That's good.

...

...

TELL ME YOUR NAME!

When these two start talking, I get the feeling it will never end, Master!

Huh? Oh, r-right.

Huh? Name? Oh, right. Name. Yes, name.

？！

My name is Nitocris. I am a pharaoh from a distant land.

The god of the underworld, and the incarnation of the sky god Horus.

And now, I study magecraft while I frolic with my phantoms in a deep cave.

My name is Elisabeth Báthory. As you can see, I'm an idol.

My specialty is idol pop, I suppose. And since I have draconic blood, naturally I also have a breath attack!

And I'm also a distinguished noble. And these wings and horns? Cute, aren't they? Anything else?

I see. Now we understand each other well.

That's right. I think so too.

We'll never get along!!

No, I think you two are getting along just fine.

How!? She's a typical spoiled Western noble girl!

She's the type of woman I hate the most in this world! She needs to suffer more!

Th-That's my line! I hate that "Oh, look at me, I'm a queen" attitude! It makes me want to throw up! Especially since you're an old hag!

(Master, is she talking about Carmilla?)

(It's very sad, isn't it...?)

She's lived a complicated life, too, huh?

？！

I can't take this anymore! It's time to duel! I'll smash your face in with my holy sword!

Fine! I'll teach you and your 80s style who's really the boss!

That armor is just old! I can't say exactly what's old about it, but it's very old!

What? You don't even know that retro style is the new trend!? What a dummy!

The only thing retro we need around here is Egypt! You moron!

RAAARRGGH!

HISSSSSS!

Master, I don't understand what's going on. Fou's cries are easier to follow!

Fou...

What are you doing? Let's go, Puppy! Crimson Hero Elisabeth is going to take down the evil mage!

Follow meeeeee!

Hey! Please don't take Master away!

Argh! Damn it! We've got no choice but to follow them!

First, let's have you fight my pretty, pretty phantoms!

Bring it on! Come on, Puppy!

？！

We're through! Let's keep going!

My throat's all warmed up now!

Tch, I can hear those evil sound waves all the way here.

It's like the wails of the dead from the underworld! Honestly, it's a genre I like!

Idol pop... I guess I can't take it lightly!

What do you mean by wails of the dead!?

The motto of idol pop is "Cute, Cuter, Cutest," you know!

But I'm not done yet! ...Sphinx! Come on out!

？！

Heheh. It costs a lot to rent, but this sphinx is the true guardian of my cavern.

Pharaoh Ozymandias may not look it, but he runs a very honest business...

"Oh, you want to borrow my army of Divine Beasts? Then the rental fee is three scarabs a week."

"If you want a Malikah Sphinx, add in ten chains. Also, make sure its stomach is full when you bring it back."

He gave me those very reasonable terms! Now, get them!

Tch! Even I can tell... That thing is really powerful!

But don't worry, Puppy. I will win. You know why?

Heheh, so even my little Puppy doesn't know? Then I'll tell you.

Close. But might doesn't always make right.

？！

It's because I'm a hero. In other words, the good guy always wins!

Now do you get it, Puppy?

...That's strange. My pharaoh-vision shows your original alignment as Chaotic-Evil...

Sh-Sh-Shut up! Bring it, you hag!

...That was surprisingly easy!

Th-That's strange! There's no way my guardian sphinx is this weak!

That's it! How foolish! I should've brought a heater!

(GASP!) It must have been tired from its long journey from Egypt...!

And it probably couldn't adapt to the environment either! How foolish of me!

？！

Now we finally meet!

So you made it through all my challenges, and now here you are at last.

I shall praise you for that! But this is the end of the line!

Why? Because I'm splendidly strong! I've been cooped up in my room perfecting my magecraft!

...Unbelievable. She's bragging about being a shut-in!

Wait, are you okay? I really hate dark and cramped places.

Me too! But this is the underworld right now! If I want to enhance my dark pharaoh power, this is the only place!

To be honest, the Western underworld is just too damaging.

The Egyptian underworld is vast, comfortable, and dry... Why do you people view death as a negative thing?

Rather, why do you have to punish souls who have already lost their bodies? Does your god actually hate humans?

...Listen to you. You're pretty cynical. You look pretty sporty, but you're actually just another bookworm.

Book...worm? No, I study curses, see...

I wrote messages as a pharaoh, but most of what I wrote were spells and curses...

So you're a bass player!

The person that works hard to carry the tone of the band from behind the scenes and carve an oppressive sound into the audience!

But the sound is usually hidden under the melody of the guitar. The guitar plays the melody, the bass lays down the rhythm...

Oh, it's so sad! The bassist is lonely, but their job is the most rock 'n' roll of them all! That's what I think!

You must've endured a lot, despite your demeanor!

I don't really know what you mean by bassist, but I appreciate your noticing that!

And I can see you struggle a lot, too! Just look at how hard the people around you struggle!

Yes, of course! Wait... Was that a compliment?

Right!? Zebra stripes says some good things, despite being our enemy!

Yeah. She has the insight to understand a situation in a single moment, but her conclusions always seem to miss the mark...

？！

I accept it. That woman is a tough foe! That's why I won't use any tricks. I'll fight her head-on!

Haha, bring it on. If it weren't for this situation, I'm sure we'd

Yes, I'm sure we could've been friends...! But that future will never happen.

It's sad to say it, but you're right. Now let's fight...!

？！

100% SURE!

Heh... Not bad... I've run out of my hardworking phantoms...

You're not so bad yourself. Those were some amazing moves... Also, those phantoms are cute.

Especially the ones with the sheets on their heads. The ones that go in circles.

I feel like they could give me some useful ideas for my concert!

So you noticed my medjed... I guess you're not just a harmful beast after all.

...Humph. There's an un-candy lack of candy around here... And no, that wasn't meant to be a joke.

And so was I... It felt so good that I was inspired spiritually.

？！

It's true that the pyramid has been in the back of my mind. As pharaoh, I figured I needed to "say hello"...

But I didn't think it was right to take them on alone, so I stayed here in my little abode.

...Very well, Crimson Hero Elisabeth. I will help you with your concert.

Thank you. I have a feeling we will become good friends.

(Panting) We've finally caught up... Huh?

A-A handshake? Not a fight?

Um... Master? What happened?

？！

...But if two troublemakers become friends, that just means an exponential increase in problems for us...

WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Fou...

Anyway, let's get going! Our goal is to reach Pyramid Csejte!

Our next stop takes us through the Glacier Zone!

Glaciers!?

...Now that I think about it, yes, it's weird to have something like that on the way to a castle...

I think it's a staple for these type of adventures.

...Hm? I'm seeing one, two, three, four... five Servant responses...

There's one too many of you!

...Hmph. There's an un-candy lack of candy around here... And no, that wasn't meant to be a joke.

What's going on, Fujimaru? You didn't lie to me, did you!?

I thought Halloween was supposed to be this wonderful festival where you can eat all the candy you want!

Idiot! I've been here the whole time! You just failed to notice me!

Fwahahaha! I Rayshifted here with you!

？！

So I wasn't seeing things...! Thank goodness!

Huh? Who are you? I don't want a Jester joining my party!

Who are you calling a Jester!? I'm not some drunk Kyoto commoner!

Looks like the next episode will still be chaotic!

...Humph.

Hahahaha! What a boring book this is! Though it is killing time, I guess...

You there! The sleeping pig!

Yes ma'am. Sleeping pig Tristan, at your service.

I don't like that music. Play something else.

Then what about this?

Stop it, you're driving me crazy! I can't read my book in peace!

I thought a more upbeat tune would be better...

There are limits to how far you can go! Limits!

And night has fallen. Loud noises are unrefined.

And actually, how did you play that sound with a harp?

Excuse me, my queen.

What do you want? I'm going to bed. If you have something to report, tell me tomorrow

Pharaoh-You-Know-Who has joined the party from Chaldea.

WH...

WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

The pharaoh aligned herself with that stupid, foolish girl who lacks even a shred of intelligence!?

How sad! Our queen's face is twisted in sorrow...

...but even then it is still radiantly beautiful...

With her involved, they will even break through the Lava Zone, not to mention the Glacier Zone...

What shall we do, my queen?

It seems an idiot can exceed one's expectations.

This is difficult... Hmph...

The worried look on Your Majesty's face is beautiful too

I'm trying to think, and there you are getting in the way. Go jump out a window.

Oh... I can fly...!

He really jumped...!

He's using sound waves to fly...

Of course he can fly! Haven't you heard of the Tristan thrush? Anyway, Sir Lances-A-Lot-Of-Married-Women...

Yes, Your Majesty... I mean, what!?

I'm deploying those girls to the Lava Zone. Hold them back no matter the cost.

Wh-What...? But those girls are far too dangerous.

They might get out of control. No, I mean they will! I'm sure of it!

Hahahaha! It'll be fine! Why? Because it's me doing it!

(That worries me...)