Escape 3 - Results

Looks like everyone's here. Now, what is this

Hohohoho, how good of you to come!

Admittedly you DID surprise me by opening a hole in my wall, but fortunately I'm very experienced in crushing rats as they skulk about.

I do it reflexively, without even thinking. It's just like how one uses a spoon to stir her morning cocoa.

After all, nobody thinks anything about stirring their cocoa, do they? And there certainly isn't any reason why they might be reluctant to do so, is there?

As far as I'm concerned, the phrase "I won't let a single one of you rats get away" is no mere figure of speech.

None can escape my charge, nor would I tolerate an attempt to do so!

Indeed, now that you are here, I will not let any of you escape me!

What!? Carmilla!? I thought we had already defeated you!?

Defeated me...? Ahh, now I see...

What a strange song you sing, little rat. I hope that you'll at least have the decency to entertain me with a song that is pleasing to the ear; like a girl begging for her life before I drain her blood.

I do not understand what she is doing here, but it seems we must face her again. I suppose it is true what they say; the toughest stains must be scrubbed away at least two or three times!

This lofty prison cell used to be spick-and-span. Why is it now infested with germs?

What a tragedy.

Huh...? I thought we were fighting Carmilla...?

What is this? Am I seeing things? How long have you been...uh...you!?

How very strange...

Hm. What a tragedy. It seems I must sanitize this cell by filling it back in with earth.

Fortunately, that is one of the most convenient aspects of underground cells. No matter what sort of evil infests them, they can always be cleaned up in an instant.

I, a god of burial and the underworld, cannot agree! Bodies should only be buried after being carefully mummified and stored in a sarcophagus!

And of course, doing that properly requires a great deal of preparation. Tombs and pyramids don't just build themselves, you know!

Granted, my own death couldn't really be called "proper" by any means...

B-but that's exactly why I know how important this is! You don't just go burying a room over a few germs!

You will cease this insolence to the pharaohs and prostate yourself at once. Otherwise I shall bury YOU in the desert where you will serve as food for evil spirits, nurse!

Grr... Cut this out already, phantom! We just came here to talk to you!

Heh, damn, I can't believe you figured me out already. Really, though. Did you not know this is my thing?

And here I thought you'd keep me entertained a little bit longer.

I told you, we came here to talk to you. Of course we know you're a master of disguise.

So...why do something like this? I mean, I'll grant you that it gave us a pretty clear picture of your abilities. So, in that sense, it was kinda entertaining.

Wait a second... (Light bulb) Can you turn yourself into any Saber that ever lived?

And if so, does that mean I can lower the universe's Saber counter by murderizing a few of your Saber incarnations?

Hmm, I don't know about that... I mean, when I defeat a copy of Wukong, it doesn't really do anything to hurt the real Wukong, right?

Ha ha ha, entertaining, eh. That was exactly the point.

It gets really boring here in prison. It's been so long since I had visitors that I couldn't help myself.

Once I started, it was so much fun that I didn't want to stop... Honestly, I was kinda lonely. Sorry 'bout that.

Hmph, I detect not a hint of remorse from you. Still, if you claim to have been lonely, we have little choice but to sheathe our swords.

After all, even the fiercest warrior cannot battle solitude. And in your case, you appear to be especially fond of company.

Are you satisfied now that you've fought two whole battles? Good. Then let's get down to business.

Um... What's your name, anyway?

Well now, a talking doll. This is a first for me. Nice to meet you and all that.

Let's see... Since you already heard I'm a phantom, I think I'd better run with that.

Since I'm a man of countless countenances, you can call me the Phantom of ∞ Faces!

Hey, are you sure you're not overlapping with my "archenemy" schtick? Are you ABSOLUTELY certain?

Hmm. Hm hm.

So you want me to disguise myself as Medb, and trick that lucha lady into turning off the Prison Field, huh?

...Okay!

Wow, that was easy...

That is what it means to be a xiake, a soldier of fortune.

Thanks for agreeing to help us so readily!

The Buddha has long taught us to help others. When you do something nice for others, something nice comes back to you. That is the whole basis of "one good turn deserves another" you know!

Oh yeah, I bet it is. That's totally why I agreed.

...Huh? How come you're cracking your knuckles like that? It's almost like you're getting ready for a fight.

I never said I'd help you all out for nothing. If you want a gangster like me to take out a villain, you gotta at least buy me a drink.

But since you're a monk, we're all in a prison, and there's no alcohol to go around...I want you guys to join me in something else I can enjoy!

Oh...

I may be able to become anyone else, but that also means if I'm not careful, I might end up forgetting who I am.

So that's why I wanna mix it up a bit with you all in this form. You don't mind, right? C'mon, let's do it!

Besides...I'm not totally satisfied with our earlier duels. I still haven't seen anything close to what you're truly capable of.

Especially you. I wanna see more of that weird spinning top move!

I bet it'd be a big hit with the kids if I learned it myself, y'know? You'd be surprised how important it is for someone like me to be popular with the kids

You wish to "mix it up" with us...? Let's "do it"...?

...Uh, are you listening to me?

On top of such crude words, you do not wear a shirt, and you're covered in tattoos... Yes, I'm certain now. You are...a delinquent!

A scantily-dressed delinquent!

Unacceptable, absolutely unacceptable! This won't do at all.

I am the prefect, and will not let this transgression stand!

If Master or Kintoki were to go around imitating your unwholesome way of life, I don't know what I would do!

Your offense is different than those who are wearing swimsuits, but no less grave. We shall begin with a lecture! Go sit in the corner right now!

Well, today I learned that even Servants can get pins and needles from sitting in a corner for too long. Ow ow ow...

Now that you've learned your lesson, make sure you start dressing appropriately and keep that attitude of yours in check. Remember, I am always watching.

Well, I can't exactly change how I live my life.

But I'll at least (try to) dress as appropriately as possible in front of your kids.

(Murmur)...Maybe I'll even try showing up as you next time. I bet you're not gonna start forbidding yourself from dressing like that any time soon...

Anyway, it looks like we're all on the same page now.

With all the tunnels we've been digging, it should be easy to make a route to the giant statue in the courtyard too.

I can show you the way there, but once we arrive, you're all on your own.

Make sure you're convincing when you try to trick Quetzalcoatl. She may be incredibly cheerful, but she's also incredibly shrewd.

Hey, come on now. Do you even know who I am?

There's no one in the world I can't become. Old, young, male, female... I can even turn myself into a headless wolf knight if I want.

I might be a youxia whose nature makes it easy to confuse him with a mirage, but that's exactly why I've got to hang onto what pride I have left.

My name is Phantom of ∞ Faces.

As far as I'm concerned, even the queen of this whole country is just another face for me.

So don't you worry. I'll use the real queen's face, voice, and charm to make sure the job gets done☆

(Okay, I made it to the statue's feet. Now where's the entrance... Aha, got it. All right, here goes nothing...)

...Are you sure this is going to work? His disguises are certainly amazing, but I worry he's a little too...rash.

？！

He definitely sounded pretty confident in his chances, so he'd better come through for us.

It'd be a real pain if he let slip to the actual Medb or Quetzalcoatl what it is we're up to.

But, I guess there's nothing we can do now but wait to see what happens.

(Okay, I'm high up enough now that I should be able to findAha, there it is. That must be the barrier's control device. Now then...)

Hm? Well, this is a surprise, yes!

(And there's the goddess. Not that I was expecting otherwise.)

Hola! Que pasa, jefe? It's so rare to see you up here.

(...Looks like she's none the wiser. Way to go, me. Course, if I couldn't pull this off, I could never show my real face again.)

Hehehe. I just had a bit of an idea.

A little something to ensure the future of this prison, no, this very country, will be bright for years to come.

I see... And what's that?

In a word...

Environmentalism!

That's right. These days, it's all about saving the planet. We need to cut waaay back on our energy and resource usage!

I realize now that that's the key to taking Connacht to even greater heights.

So I figured I'd start by rethinking how we use the Prison Field, seeing how it's easily the biggest energy hog in this whole prison.

And since you're the vice-warden and all, I thought I'd save you some trouble and come here to tell you in person.

As step number one of Connacht's brand new environmental policy...I'm ordering you to shut down this Prison Field!

I'll even give you the honor of adjusting the control device's settings yourself.

As a goddess, you will take the first historic step into a new era of Connacht's history!

Huh? No gracias.

...!

I mean, that'd cause a lot more problems than it'd solve, no? The prisoners would just walk right out of here.

They still haven't learned how to be good people yet, let alone the ways of lucha.

We have so many longtime prisoners who need reformation, to say nothing of the new arrivals.

I have every faith in your ability to capture these wayward criminals.

Which is why I don't understand: why you would want to go and free them now?

(Well crap, this isn't going well. All right, let's try for the next best thing...)

G-good point. I guess turning the whole thing off at once WOULD be going a little too far, no matter how much energy consumption it would save us.

In that case...how about just turning it down to half strength?

That would lead to the same thing, no? As you know, Warden, the security of the prison depends almost completely upon the Prison Field.

In consequence, if we lower the Prison Field's strength by half, that would double the chances of prisoners escaping. That doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.

(Dammit... Why'd she have to go and get all reasonable on me? What a freakin' pain.)

(If I mess this up, it'll all be on me. Why'd this damn queen have to have such a crappy Charisma skill!?)

However...

I can certainly agree with your wish to cut down on energy use. That IS very important. So instead of reducing the barrier's strength, why don't we cut its range in half?

...Its range?

Sí! I think there's a part of the barrier that is a big waste at the moment. We could shut off the entire underground section without losing anything of importance.

After all, the prisoners are in their cells most of the time. They only really go out for exercise.

So it's an incredible waste to keep extending the barrier all the way into the ground.

I mean, it's not as though there are any prisoners digging their way through the dirt like moles, right?

...R-right. Okay, let's do that then. Excellent work finding a compromise, Vice-Warden!

Thank you♪ Okay then, let's put our new energy saving plan into action! Oh, but first...

Would you mind if I asked you a favor too? It's not fair only taking one side after all, is it?

(Oh shit... She had my number the whole time.)