Section 2: Showdown! Guardians VS Children

I can see the battle has already begun. We'll need to head there straight away if we're going to stop it.

Oh, maybe I could ring these bells to let them know we're coming. I only hope they notice.

Take this!

And this!

And some of this!

Hrn!

Yah!

F-forgive me!

Oh for goodness' sake! Why can't you just leave us be!?

Yeah! What's the big deal about a few snacks!?

That's true. There's nothing wrong with having snacks.

As long as you don't have them right before dinner!

Ulp. I-I guess you have a point, but...

Hey! No going goody-goody on us, Jeanne!

We're all in this together, remember? There's no turning back now!

B-but I AM a good girl!

But you also like having snacks before dinner, right?

Yes. I can't give those up...

I truly am sorry about this, but I cannot let you snack before dinner. It will stunt your growth!

Even though we're Servants?

As long as you all present yourselves as children, we have a duty as grown-ups to provide you with structure.

After all, we're

Santa Claus!

There you have it.

Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Santa can't be a parental guardian! You'll break the heart of every child in the world!

Yeah!

I actually AM a Santa! So I won't tolemerate any fake Santa who tries to destroy the Santa dream like that!

Come on, let's get 'em!

Curses! I did not want to have to do this, but it seems we have no choice but to ply them with presents!

Hold it right there!

There is nothing more tragic than parental guardians waging war with their children.

Now, let's all calm down and see if we can't resolve this peacefully.

... ...

... ...

It's Santa Claus!!!

The way you floated down on your umbrella was just beautiful!

How romantic! How fantastic! How artistic!

You're like that Poppins lady!

Hmm. It looks like her Santa Resources are in those bells.

I could swear I've seen those bells somewhere before, but I can't put my finger on where...

Never mind that! Let us take them for ourselves and supercharge our Santa Power!

Then we can deliver presents to every child in the world!

Nnn. That outfit... That color scheme...

She's definitely this year's Santa Claus...

Wait! Don't be fooled! Take a closer look at her umbrella!

Huh? Her umbrella?

... ...

It's a needle!!!

Sh-she almost fooled me!

There's nothing worse in the whole world than giving children shots!

So anyone who would carry around a giant needle like that could never be Santa Claus!

...First, I never claimed to be Santa Claus. Second, shots are essential for staying in good health.

I am willing to administer as many as it takes to keep you all healthy.

Nooo!

We don't wanna get a shot! We'll be fine without it!

Hmm. It seems resolving this peacefully may be more difficult than I thought.

Master, would it be all right with you if I neutralize them first?

？！

Fight them.

Bring it!

You're on!

This is all part and parcel of administering vaccines. First, we start by properly disinfecting the patient!

How many times must I say it? I'm an ordinary nurse, not Santa Claus.

I think we have very different definitions of "ordinary," but never mind that now! Prepare for battle, Master!

？！

Hey, so, now that that's all over with...

...do you think you could chalk this up to a bad dream and just forget it ever happened?

Well do your best! I'm begging you here!

Exactly! Thanks for understanding, Master!

？！

Phew. Thanks for snapping us out of that.

Why in the world was I set on becoming Santa Claus?

You were sick. Confused. Not in your right minds.

You were all suffering from...let's call it "Santa Claus Syndrome" for the time being.

？！

I don't know. I'm pretty sure I was cooking before this all went down, but that's all I know.

Me too. Though I also get the feeling that someone told me I was going to become Santa Claus.

Same.

Oh, I just remembered something else. I also heard a jingling sound, just like the one coming from those.

？！

That's right. I remember someone said something like:

"You can be Santa too!"

Once the bells started ringing, I gradually lost consciousness...

...and the next thing I knew, I was Santa. Well, trying to become Santa, anyway.

Indeed, what a horrifying scenario. I didn't know Santa was contagious...

I did not.

That said...I also don't remember when or how I acquired this new outfit.

I think I may have been talking to someone right beforehand, but I don't know who it could have been.

？！

What about you? What are you three doing here?

We came to tour Santa Island!

Yeah! There were some posters on the wall that said, "You can be Santa too!"

Master.

I found the posters in question. It wasn't hard; whoever put them up wasn't shy about using any available surface.

Now I remember.

I saw that same Santa slogan, got a bad feeling about it, and promptly chose to ignore it.

That's when it happened. Somebody came up to me and said...

"How could you just ignore it? That's so mean!"

And you know the rest.

Right. I remember they sounded kind of...girlish and not girlish at the same time?

They had a cute voice. At least, I think they did...

I can say this much for sure: whoever did this was not a child.

I also take issue with Boudica's use of "cute."

This person's voice was cute, yes, but I feel like there was also something distinctly...uncute about it.

Aww, come on! It was totally cute!

I'm...not sure what to make of it.

I think it did sound cute, but it also sounded like the voice of a born troublemaker.

(What is this? Ethereal profiling?)

What about you, um, Nightingale? Do you still insist you're not Santa Claus?

Obviously.

Santa is a demon who goes around giving out candy in the dead of night. He is the enemy of children and dentists everywhere.

That's so far off the mark I don't even know where to begin!

Santa Claus isn't a demon at all! He's...um...

Reindeer! How would you describe Santa?

？！

...!

It IS hard to put into words, isn't it? In the end, it all comes down to feeling!

Yeah. It's like how we just know when we have the perfect chance to kill somebody.

We'd guess any Assassin probably knows what that's like.

Hmm.

That sounds like the unconscious feeling I get when I can just tell my next arrow is going to hit its target.

That's how I know you must be Santa Claus!

But you still can't accept who you are. That's so sad!

Yes, it is. If you ask me, being Santa Claus is the greatest job in the world.

Trust me! Getting to be Santa is a biiig honor and you should be proud!

Yay, presents♪ We wonder what we're gonna get this year♪

...What is it you three want for Christmas? Is it sweets?

Sweets would be great, of course, but really, we'd be happy with anything.

After all, presents are the stuff of love, hopes, and dreams!

Love, hopes, and dreams, huh?

Those are all very important. But presents are supposed to be strictly material things, correct?

You're not wrong. Kids do love getting practical gifts.

It's a conundrum every parental figure has to deal with.

You think? I've always believed it's the thought that counts when it comes to gifts.

That holds true whether those thoughts are affectionate or spiteful.

I do not think I want to imagine a present given out of spite.

...I see.

So what you're saying is, there's more to the Santa Claus class than going around giving candy to children.

That's right. A lot more.

...Wait a second. Are you uncomfortable around kids?

... ...

Are you?

...A moment, please.

I assure you, I do not dislike or otherwise shun children. I have no negative feelings whatsoever toward them.

However... Um...

I get it. Some feelings, you just can't put into words.

... ...

Anyway, now that we've snapped out of it, we should really get back and start getting ready for Christmas.

Sounds good to me.

How about you three? You can stay and continue your tour if you want, but it could get a little dangerous.

We wanna go home too!

I agree. Every child has the right to wait patiently for presents, whether they're naughty or nice.

I don't know.

I was hoping to find Santa Island Mask here, since this place is called Santa Island and all...

But I guess going back home works too!

Hey, if you two run into a man with a mask, please tell him I'm doing well!

I still don't believe I'm the next Santa Clausor at least, I don't think sobut all right, I will.

Okay Master, now that we've successfully eradicated the disease here, let's go look for the next group of patients.

？！

... ...

Yes, why not? If you like, I would be glad to transport you on my umbrella.

Just make sure you hold on to me tight.

Oh! Wait, Florence. There's one last thing I want to ask you.

"Florence"? Very well. What is it?

Would you be so kind as to tell me how you feel about children some time?

I am a hero of children everywhere, after all!

Hey, Jeanne? Are you sure she's this year's Santa?

Absolutely!

As the last-last-last Santa Claus myself, I can spot another Santa with one-hundred-percent certainty!

So I can tell you for sure that Nightingale is this year's Santa!

Looks like she still hasn't come to terms with it, though.

Maybe not, but it also seems that your words had an effect on her.

Well, I don't know about that.

She's a smart lady. I'm sure she would've figured it out on her own at some point.

...Hm?

Ooh! That's the Santa who came before me!

Followed closely by a war elephant...

If I did not know better, I would have thought I was at a zoo.

(No kidding. Especially with that Demon Boar on your shoulder...)

Okay, everyone, let's go back to Chaldea!

We have to get ready to welcome our new Santa Claus!