Section 1: Father Check 1/Apron Affinity

Hmm. It definitely still feels like we're inside a miniature world.

So this would seem to be a...kitchen?

It's certainly strange, even a bit intimidating...but I suppose it does also fit the fairy-tale theme.

What's more, the road itself is smooth, and the convertible means we're getting a nice breeze.

If this keeps up...

...we may even be able to convince ourselves that we're merely taking a pleasure drive through an amusement park.

？！

Fujimaru.

Just to make sure, you can only perform simple summons now, right?

？！

A miniature world, huh... So I guess all it takes to fool you is a bit of set dressing.

As far as we're concerned, this is a world of giants, not miniatures. So watch your step, or you might get stepped on.

If that Servant really is partly composed of Murian, I doubt she'll interfere directly, but...

...Oh.

Sorry, did I say something? I was a little lost in thought and didn't notice.

Your bodyguard? Of course, leave it to me! I'll figure out a way to deal with whatever enemies we may face!

Even if we run into a cat the size of a dragon, I'll have it purring in a trice!

(You know, I have no idea why this is, but for some reason...)

(...that overly pleasant smile of his only makes me more nervous...)

According to the map, the last sugoroku jump we made put us in a kitchen area.

We should find the first checkpoint here. In fact, I think we're almost there.

？！

Beats me.

But, if there's any good news to be found here...

...maybe it's that the four of us will be competing together instead of against each other.

Even if we can't figure out the answer on our own, we'll be fine as long as one of us can.

We're all in the same boat here. Well, car.

That said, I have no experience being a father, so I'm not sure how helpful I can be.

Hey, that goes for me too. Fujimaru as well, of course.

Which means the only one of us here who will have any chance at these father checkpoints or whatever they are is

Hm? Hang on. Oberon, when it comes to family life, weren't you

Oh? Getting into private matters, are we?

That's fine. I have plenty of stories about me and Titania. Which tall tale would you like to hear first?

？！

Well, that's too bad. I had a perfect story for this very situation.

Y-yes, well, obviously, our safety takes top priority.

So I have no objections. Sending in our best combatant makes sense, given the circumstances.

Anyway, you said we'd be at the checkpoint soon, right?

I'll need to focus on driving, so the rest of you, be on your guard!

All right, this should be it...

I see the scenery here is no different.

Although, I still don't understand why this course is designed around a house motif.

Most long-distance races take place in the great outdoors for a reason.

Granted, I'm still not entirely sure whether this course is indoors OR outdoors...

Well, it looks like there's a good amount of leeway built into the world design. Why don't you ask the course's designer herself?

That? It's because I want you to truly enjoy everything my insect space has to offer.

Having giant common objects nearby gives you a point of reference to better understand just how small you are now, right?

I wanted you to grasp the danger here right away, while also encouraging you to find a way out.

And the best way to do that was to fill the course with everyday things.

It helps drive home just how far you are from everyday life right now.

Don't bother. Stating the obvious isn't a compliment.

My game systems are completely fair and impartial. Flattery will get you nowhere.

？！

I thought I should see how fatherly you are for myself, at least when you reach a checkpoint...

...so here I am, matching your size.

And on that note... Welcome to the very first checkpoint!

(I'm just checking, but if you wanted to take her out, could you?)

(Absolutely would if I could, Kadoc, but I'm afraid I can't.)

(She looks small now, but that's all it is; nothing's changed. She's still a giant compared to us insects.)

(The size difference between us remains so great that direct attacks would be useless. At least here in this domain.)

(Gotcha... Well, okay. Just knowing we can cross that option off the list is still progress.)

That's quite enough whispering, you two.

Now, while these may be the checkpoint's coordinates, this isn't where you'll be taking the test.

You'll find the test ahead, just through this gate. So go right ahead, please.

I don't care for this at all, but I don't see that we have any choice, either. So, as to who goes first

...I will.

I'm not sure whether I'll be able to warn you about danger on the other side...

...but it's a damn sight better than letting our one and only Master go in first.

？！

Ugh, you're so foolhardy sometimes it gives me a headache. Are you trying to just render Kadoc's choice here pointless?

The whole reason he volunteered to go in first was because he was at least reasonably confident he could defend himself.

He can't very well do that if he has to worry about you too. All that means we need to wait here for now.

In the worst case, maybe he'll use magecraft to send us a Morse code message like "STOP. TRAP," or something.

Hmph. There's no trap here. Remember, if I wanted to, I could've just squished you all with a finger when this started.

But that isn't how I want to play this game.

The only reason I tried to touch you or banged on the table back in the beginning...

...is because I was just so happy that my plan to bring you into insect space worked even better than I thought.

So that doesn't count. I was just messing around a little.

Well, that's a relief. So we can assume you won't be attacking us players directly anymore, then?

Well then, we probably needn't be on our guard constantly afterAh.

Dammit, Master, that doesn't mean you needed to be the next one in!

Oh well. Guess I'll go for a walk while I look for them.

Hmm. As the director of Chaldea, and the de facto commander of this team, I should probably just cross my arms and wait for them.

I'd even prefer that. But I'm sure they're anxious all on their own...

Yes, yes, no more of that, please.

Ah! Hey, don't push me! I'm not ready yet!

？！

H-huh.

I was wondering what kind of fantastical realm we'd find ourselves in, but it looks to be a completely ordinary house... Phew.

It's definitely ordinary. TOO ordinary.

Does anything about this place seem familiar to you, Fujimaru?

？！

Now that you're all here, I'll tell you what you're going to do.

This father check will be to verify your skill at...

Cooking!

Because perfect fathers always cook on their days off!

This father check will be to verify your skill at...

Cooking!

Because perfect fathers always cook on their days off!

？！

Hmm...

I suppose this might qualify as something fathers should do, but I can't say it strikes me as a prerequisite.

Is this really what you're having us do for your first check?

Also, this oddly contemporary house feels at odds with the whimsical environment outside.

Oh, shut up.

The most important thing here was to bring out that "Father on his day off" feeling I was going for.

That's the whole reason I made this room inside my insect space. So no complaints, please.

Anyway, to check just how close you all are to being the perfect papa...

...I'm going to have you cook a meal here.

You'll find some ingredients and condiments in the fridge, but they'll only cover the basics.

If you need any other groceries, you'll have to go outside and acquire them yourself.

Acquire them? Outside?

I call this place "The Kitchen Forest." It has all the animals you'd expect to see in a forest...

...but it also has places like the Sink Spring where you might be able to find aquatic creatures, too.

Any perfect father should have no trouble acquiring the perfect ingredients for their perfect meal.

There's...a lot I'd like to say to that, but for now...

...we should probably start with a strategy meeting. So, how do we want to handle this?

？！

Nope, don't even ask! I can see it all over your face!

Have you, even ONE time, in all of human history, ever heard a story where the prince does the cooking? NO! No, you have not!

Ahem, that's not to say it wouldn't be possible for me. But we're not looking for typical home cooking here, right?

So, I'm afraid I won't be of any use here. Sorry. But at least I can help with the taste testing.

I could probably whip something up, but I don't know how fatherly it would be, either.

Hehe... Hehehehe.

？！

Indeed! I am practically the incarnation of fine dining.

In fact, I've even developed a number of spells specifically for the culinary arts.

Very well then. It seems it will fall to me to take the lead in this test.

I can't say I have any experience with something that could be said to taste fatherly, but I can imagine what such a dish might be.

Leave this to me.

Now, let's see what we've got to work with...

A quick glance reveals...condiments. We have condiments. That's all.

Which means we'll have to go out and procure the ingredients ourselves.

If you need to wrangle wild animals for that, I should be able to help.

I'm an old hand when it comes to Anti-Beast magecraft. I can lead them wherever we need.

？！

Okay! See you later, insects... I mean...

Guess I'd better go along with this, too... See you later, Father!

Well, now what? Are you sure we'll be okay out here?

Of course. No need to worry.

With my magecraft, I can take any game we find and turn it into a deliciously marbled cut of meat.

And with just a little more work, I can even make it into delectable bacon.

That is not in any way what I was concerned about.

My concern here is that anything with "Forest" or "Woods" in its name tends to be pretty dangerous, no matter how cute it seems.

I agree.

The thing about forests is you never know what'll happen once you set foot in the

Fujimaru!

？！

You're taking this way too lightly. Haven't you figured out how scary fae domains can be by now?

You'd better get your head in the game. My arms can only reach so far, you know.

There, you see? No more fun and games. We've got serious monsters to take care of now.

(...Although, it's interesting she's chosen to match them to our size. At least that means we should be able to get by.)

(I guess this means that every creature in Kazuradrop's insect space gets shrunken down to the same scale.)

This is no time to be muttering to yourself!

Come on, help us bring home the bacon! I'll do what I can to bolster your defenses, too!

I was expecting to hunt boars out here anyway. I'll help keep them distracted.

Fujimaru, it's gonna be up to you, your simple summons, and Oberon to bring them down.

？！

Is it ready? Is it ready?

Hehe, patience, my girl. All the prep work is done, so it won't be much longer now.

'Kaaay.

There we go. All ready.

？！

I took meat and eggs we got fresh from the Kitchen Forest...prepared them with magecraft...

...cooked them with the technique one of our house homunculi drilled into me...

...and voilà! Musik-style eggs Benedict!

Take a look at this perfect culinary masterpiece! This exquisitely well-kept mustache!

Now, go on, my girl. Eat up. Papa worked hard to make this for you.

Oops. Everything came out so perfectly, I got a little lost in the part.

I'm almost sorry I made your job so easy. There's no denying this is a perfect score, no matter how you slice it.

Don't mind if I do, then!

(Munch, munch...)

Seventy-two out of a hundred. Good try.

You're kidding me!?

No, I'm not. It should say as much on your score card, too.

？！

So we barely got a passing score then.

Fatherly...ness aside, it looked like a great bit of cooking to me.

But then again, maybe that aside is the exact quality that's most important? Looks like we have a lot to think about.

...By the way, what's up with Oberon?

？！

...He actually referred to himself as "Papa," only to fall flat on his face... Pfft...

Hey!

If you're going to laugh about me, I'd rather you did it to my face!

Oh? Okay, I will then!

But you know, I think that was great, Sir Goredolf! If you ask me, screwing up in front of your kids is a sign of a good father!

Gnnn...

I'll admit, I didn't get the score I was expecting, but I did the best I could.

I have no regrets!

？！

Since this was your first checkpoint, let me give you a reminder.

If you don't have enough total points for a passing score by the time you reach the goal...

...you'll be swept right back to square one. Literally!

I won't accept a father who is just "good enough." You would do well to keep that in mind going forward.

Okay, my work here is done. I'll see you all again at the next checkpoint.

Good grief. This could be harder than I expected.

I'm sorry all I could do was help gather ingredients. Hopefully, there'll be more I can do next time.

？！

Maybe this will be harder than we expected, but I don't think we've suffered any setbacks here.

If anything, I'd say this went well for us.

You think? That score was nothing to be proud of. In fact, I think I'm still recovering from the shock.

Remember what Kazuradrop said?

If we get sent back to square one because we didn't pass, then we just start over and try again.

And that means we can treat this first try at the game like a trial run...

...and focus on gathering information without worrying about our score too much.

？！

Exactly. Though of course, we should still try our best this time around, in part so we can get a better idea of how it works.

Hmm, good point.

I like it. You know, you're a lot more thoughtful than you look, Kadoc.

That pairs well with Fujimaru, since he generally acts on instinct. I hope you two will keep teaming up like this.

That said, don't let your guard down just because Kazuradrop isn't going to intervene directly.

Kazura's name comes from Utsubo Kazura, the Japanese name for a carnivorous pitcher plant that slowly dissolves its prey after capturing it.

By the time they realize their wings have melted and they should have flown away when they had the chance, it's already too late.

That's a thoroughly unsettling thought...but, you may well be right.

She is clearly making the rules here. It would be easy for her to change them if she wished. So yes, best not let our guard down.

On which note, let's stay sharp and head to the next checkpoint!

Off we go!