Section 4: Himeji Doujin Monogatari

... ...

...She's not answering.

I'm not reading Osakabehime's magical energy signal either. It looks like she's not in her room.

There's also no Cursed Book Signal, so I don't think we need to worry about getting inside.

I see...

I didn't think she ever left her room if she could help it. ...Well, at least I have an idea where she might be.

Now that I've come this far, I might as well show you the rest of the way, too. At least it'll be something different.

I'm so sorry to make you go to all this trouble...

Eh, I'm just helping out a bit on my way back to my easy chair. If you really want to thank me, you can lend me one of your rarer books.

Despite his cold, off-putting demeanor...

...Mr. Andersen found himself unable to abandon Murasaki in her time of need.

Fou!?

!

Hm? What is it? Why're you looking at me like that?

？！

Commentary?

Ah! I-I-I'm so sorry, Lord Andersen! I just...couldn't help it...

Wh-what was that just now!? Did anyone else see that commentary floating above your heads?

...Oh, this is just mortifying.

This is the only technique I ever managed to learn from Lord Abe-no-Seimei...

Taizan Commentary Fest.

？！

Merely something I came up with. Nothing to do with the resurrection ritual of the Taoist god with a similar name.

Fooou.

I didn't even want to learn it, but I acquired it almost by osmosis while I was around Lord Seimei...

It's a dreadful technique that exemplifies the worst of Lord Seimei's mischievousness...

It creates a sort of running commentary that anyone can see or hear...save the one being commented on!

The commentary cannot lie outright, but it can reveal very painful truths!

I remember this one scary monk once told me "Such shame...such cowardice! Mmmm, yes, I have seen this technique's true nature."

It still gives me chills to think about it...

？！

He warned it was not a technique to be used lightly, b-but I'm afraid I went and activated it in spite of myself...

I'm afraid I often end up doing that whenever I relax my guard... It's almost like a curse...

A-are you sure it isn't? Because it really does sound like one...

Fooou.

Please forgive me, Lord Andersen!

Hmph. I got commented on all the time, it's nothing new to me.

How many critical and faux-critical reviews do you think we writers have suffered by now? Not to mention all that painful amateur analysis!

If I had a dime for every slanderous accusation that's been thrown my way, I could have retired after my first book!

Don't be an idiot, Shikibu. You're an author; you know what it's like.

We writers are expected to have a monologue or two ready to go at all times.

"...Not to mention, this commentary must be from the great Eastern genius writer, Murasaki Shikibu."

"What greater honor could there be than that? Any man, no, writer worth his salt should be so lucky."

Thus, Andersen, still smiling, secretly decided to brag about this to Shakespeare later.

Lord Andersen...

？！

Hm? Now don't you start too, Fujimaru. I told you not to worry about it.

Indeed, Mr. Andersen, with his sky blue hair and matching eyes, spoke not a hint of falsehood.

Oh no, there it goes again...! I'm so sorry!

Oh gosh, oh gosh...

...So you really don't have any control over it, do you. Since I was the one commented on, I obviously have no idea what it said...

...but as a fellow author, I doubt you could have had it say anything that was wrong. Stop apologizing so much.

Now come on. We're going to find Osakabehime and take care of these Cursed Books!

"Life in Chaldea isn't quite like life anywhere else. Here, adventure could knock on your door at any time at all."

Thus, resigned to his fate, Mr. Andersen decided he may as well stick around until the Cursed Books were disposed of once and for all.

？！

Fooou!

This is...the library's reception desk.

I guess this means we're back where we started...

Osakabehime's been coming to the library a lot lately, so since she wasn't in her room, I figured we'd find her here.

Look, there's a note left on your desk.

Let's take a look. Hmm. Whoever wrote it has lovely handwriting.

"Hi, Librarian. You weren't here when I showed up, so being the kind princess that I am, I'll put these books back on the shelves myself."

What kind, beautiful lettering. I can almost see her personality leaping off the page.

Oh?

Ah.

I just realized I forgot to tell you!

In addition to running the library, Murasaki Shikibu also holds calligraphy and creative writing classes.

Oh, and proper letter-writing too...

I see. That does sound like it would be right up her alley.

I just wanted to be of whatever help I could to anyone who wished they had beautiful handwriting...

...or who wanted to better express their innermost feelings.

It's not much, but I do hope it's something.

Fou, fou!

All right, let's go look for Osakabehime. She said she was going to put some books back on their shelves, right?

Just a moment, please. It would seem...that her note wasn't the only one left here!

Um...

"Then I will too." "Me too." "Me three." "Same." "As shall I." "Likewise."

...Ugh, great! Just our luck that they all had to run off inside the library!

Okay!

I'll close the hall to the library, just in case!

Right, Senpai! I'll make sure to close off the hall to the library.

If anyone else shows up there, I'll send a message letting them know to wait until you get there.

That should work. All right, come on.

？！

Hm hm hmm♪

What a nice princess I am, putting books back where I got them♪

...I guess that would technically be against the rules in most libraries...

...but it looks like they don't even keep track of who's checked out what in this one.

I'm sure it'll be daijoubu since I let the librarian know what I was doing. Hm hm hmm.

There she is!

Good, we found her.

Oh... It's her! The girl in glasses who frequents my library...!

？！

Master! A-a-a-and Murasaki-paisen!? I mean, Senpai!?

Oh gosh, oh gosh oh gosh...! N-n-n-now what am I gonna do!?

Murasaki and I both love books, and we're both Japanese Servants who are big into literature! There can't be room for both of us in the lineup!

This is exactly why I've been trying to avoid running into her and Ma-chan at the same time!

...Fou?

？！

I'm...not sure what to say...

Oh come on! We're both into books, we're both gloomy... We're practically identical twins! Right, Ma-chan!?

U-um, Osakabehime!? Putting aside how similar we might be, could you let me see those books you checked out!?

Also, have you noticed any books you don't recognize, by any chance!?

Huh? You want to see my books? Well sure, that's fine with...

Wait. Y-y-you mean, here? In front of Ma-chan!?

Kyaa!

How is my book floating on its own...!?

This is a Cursed Book Signal if ever I saw one! It's very strong, too!

So given what happened in the study, I'm guessing these things turn into enemies and try to attack us?

That's right! But once we defeat it, it will turn back into the book it used to

N-n-n-no, please! Anything but that!

I can't let Ma-chan see what I was reading!!!

The Cursed Book has transformed into an Eastern-style hydra! Be careful, it has a lot of magical energy, too!

S-stay back! Please! Yamete kudastooop!

？！

Nooo!

H-huh!? It looks like...Osakabehime has sided with the Cursed Book serpent...!

She really was serious about not wanting Master here to see what the book was... The author in me sympathizes.

All right, I'm not here to judge. Let's take down this serpent and I guess try not to hurt Osakabehime much!

It's over. Eh, you keep writing about certain things long enough, you're bound to go a little crazy from time to time.

Fou. Fooou. (Special Translation: You call this a LITTLE crazy?)

Don't worry, Osakabehime! I'll do my best to keep the Cursed Book's title out of sight while I recover it!

I've confirmed that you've recovered the Cursed Book. It does have a lot of magical energy...

...but it's still less than a quarter of the energy that was stolen. Which means this isn't the original, either...

(Sniff)... (Sniff)...

Waaah! This is a nightmare! Not only did I make a complete baka of myself, I didn't even put up a good fight...

As if being too similar to her wasn't bad enough... I'm not even a good writer. All I've ever made is doujin...

I've never written any historic novels, let alone any masterpieces or classics... (Sniff)...

Why would Ma-chan want to keep a pale imitation like me around when he could have the real thing with Murasaki-senpai...

(Sob)

？！

(Sob) Ma-chan...?

？！

Fujimaru spoke from the heart, without a hint of dishonesty.

!

Is that...Murasaki-senpai's strange, sort of automatic commentary track technique? The one that only says things that are true...?

I call it Taizan Commentary Fest. Osakabehime, Lord Fujimaru is right. You and I are nothing alike.

We may both like to put pen to paper to express our thoughts and feelings...

...but in my mind, that only makes us comrades, regardless of our different time periods.

Waaah! Paisen! Ma-chan!

Gomenasorry! I should never have acted up like that! But I'm really, really glad Ma-chan never saw that book's title!

If he had, I think my poor little princess kokoro would have brokoro into a million pieces... (Sniff)

There, there. You have nothing to apologize for. This was all my fault to begin with.

(Sniff) Paisen...

There, there.

？！

Hey. In case you've forgotten, we're a long way from happily ever after here. We still haven't found the original Cursed Book, and we don't even know where to look.

So come on, let's get moving. We can start by checking all the books those other Servants came here to return!

It's so nice of you to help us like this, Andersen!

Believe me, if there was someone else you could ask, I'd be gone in a heartbeat. But, in for a penny, in for a pound, as my colleague might say.

...All right, how long are you gonna keep cuddling each other!? Let's go already!

Okay!

I-I still don't know what's going on here, but I'll come along too!