EP 3: Watch Out! The Cursed Merry-Go-Round!

Look, everyone! Right over there!

It's a carousel! ...Or, as they call it here, a merry-go-round!

Please try not to get so excited, Maria. You might trip. Though of course, if you do, I'll be happy to help you back up again!

Anyway, yes, you're right. Indeed it is a merry-go-round!

What a lovely sight, seeing all these grown-ups playing horsey!

It's really quite perverse in a way! I love that sort of thing!

What about you, Mr. Gloomy? Is there nothing about a place like this to put a smile on your drab face?

...I will follow Her Majesty's wishes. I am not used to riding on horseback, but I will do so if necessary.

We certainly never had things like this in our own lifetime. This was invented in the nineteenth century, unless I am very much mistaken.

In fact, I believe it originated in France, though of course, it didn't use electricity back then.

Oh my, electricity! That's, um, Edison and Nikola Tesla's invention, right?

Yes, Your Majesty.

My, oh my! So these horses are electric!

What a beautiful marriage of inventions... I'm so proud.

An amusement born in France, enhanced with the wisdom of American geniuses, is now right at home in the Far East.

What a wonderful, joyous thing!

Vive la France! Hehe. All right, since we're all here, what do you say we have some fun together!

Yes, Your Majesty. I would be honored to join you!

As you wish.

You heard the queen, Salieri. What are you gonna do?

If it is the queen's desire, who am I to refuse?

I may not be the true Antonio Salieri, but I am still part of him, and so revere our queen.

And I feel...oddly at peace in this place. Not fully at peace, mind you, but compared to nor...

...mal...

You!

I'll make an exception for you, Gottlieb Mozart!

You're dead! Dead, dead, dead!

Cursed Child of God! I'll kill you mysel

Mr. Salieri? Aren't you going to join us on the ponies?

...If Your Divine Majesty would ask it of me, then so be it. Very well... I must do my best to scrape together all the dregs of Antonio Salieri I can find.

Ahahahaha! This is great! What a hoot!

...What, Maria? Don't look at me like that. It's scary.

I'm not trying to scare you. I just think you should be more honest about your feelings.

I know you're really a nice guy deep down, so act like it. Okay?

Aww, but I'm doing my best to be nice. I love Salieri.

That said, it's hard for me to tell if I'm actually succeeding.

Ugh, see? This is exactly the problem!

Ahahaha! What's with these horses! I've never seen such docile steeds in my life!

Now I see. It's all one big machine!

That must be why they only move in set patterns, and don't think or act for themselves.

It's a lot different than riding a real horse, since you can't take them anywhere else...

...but this is...pretty fun in its own way!

Right, Teacher!?

...I can't say I find this fun at all.

Why must these "horses" go up and down while this whole machine spins around? Isn't this sort of thing meant for children?

Come on, Teacher, step it up! Surely the head tactician of a vast army can handle a horse or two!

Oh, wait. Are you the one in charge of your body, not the tactician?

I do have some experience with horseback riding...but none of it is of any use here.

In fact, didn't you say yourself that they were completely different?

Are you getting motion sickness?

... ...

Teacher?

... ...

...Just a little. It's not an issue.

Hahahahahaha! What is this ride!? It's nothing like a real one, but it somehow feels kinda horselike, Benkei!

Well, it could use a little more movement, don't you think?

If they're going to imitate horses, they should move left and right as well as up and down! Like this!

Stop, Lord Yoshitsune! You mustn't rock the carousel!

A carnival ride like this is not designed to withstand your full strength! Please!

Please stop playing so hard!

Go, Tayuguro!

Lord Yoshitsune! Stooop!

Also, why are you still in your summer clothing!? Surely you must be freezing in such a... (Gasp)

Hahahaha, so you understand now, Benkei! I knew you would get it!

This outfit covers more skin than what I usually wear, so I'm actually quite warm!

You're right, Lord Yoshitsune! The difference is stark indeed! I am ashamed I didn't realize sooner!

...

!!!

So this is Oniland's first attraction, the Pumpkin Merry-Go-Round, with an average wait time of fifteen minutes...

It appears to be extremely popular with other Servants, Senpai!

？！

... ...

I've just compared their Spirit Origins to our own data, and they're definitely Chaldean Servants!

And it looks like they aren't the only ones. I'm seeing Servant readings vanishing from Chaldea left and right!

Seems like a safe bet that they're all headed to Chitose.

Or maybe they're all being pulled there by their connection to Fujimaru?

The Kamuy's Gold must have called them here.

A Holy Grail made from ordinary magical energy wouldn't have this effect, but the Kamuy's Gold is different.

Gold doesn't just entice those who see it. It also has the power to gather others around it.

And in this case, I think it must be searching for other sources of magical energy in order to replenish and bolster its own.

Does that mean...it is extracting the other Heroic Spirits' magical energy?

Uh-huh. I'm pretty sure it is, anyway.

...I just finished running an analysis, and it looks like Sitonai is right!

That merry-go-round is leeching a tiny amount of magical energy from every Servant riding it!

？！

Right! We can't let him get even stronger, not even a little bit at a time.

Besides, we also need to get the gold fragment from the attraction manager!

... ...

Lady Ibaraki? Is something wrong?

...Hmm.

No, I'm fine. Why'd you ask?

Well, I could not help but notice that your attention seemed to be elsewhere.

Heh. Is that supposed to be a joke, shinobi girl? Don't be ridiculous.

Just look at that sad excuse for a ride! It's absolutely pathetic! All it does is move a bunch of seats up and down!

Only humans could be amused by something so stupid! Mwahaha!

Mwahaha...

？！

...W-well...

If you...if you said I really, absolutely had to try it out, Master, I guess I wouldn't...mind...

What's wrong with that? Let her try it out if she wants.

The way I see it, everyone should be able to ride whatever they like. That's how it should be at amusement parks!

Repressing your true desires isn't going to get you anywhere. Don't you agree?

Oh, right, where are my manners? I'm Queen Medb, the attraction manager for all these fine steeds!

Hm? Wait a sec.

Aha. I thought I recognized most of you. You know, I'm willing to throw in a little something special for anyone riding my ride for the first time.

Does this mean... Is she the Medb from Chaldea?

Her readings don't look quite the same as usual...

In fact, the magical energy she's giving off right now seems very similar to Oniland's...

Exactly. Because she's the merry-go-round's manager!

Lady Sitonai is correct! Just look at that ominous aura!

...What about it?

Mmhmm, mmhmm, there sure are a lot of cuties at Chaldea. And I'm not just saying that.

That's why I don't mind throwing in a little something special.

Buuut...if you try to mess with my horses, then I'll just have to punish you.

Oni employee brigade! We've got people bothering the other guests here!

You're bothering the other guests...! You're bothering the other guests...!

Senpai! I'm picking up more hostile readings!

Come, Master! We should retreat before they overwhelm us with sheer numbers again!

？！

That's because you were on Main Street last time, where they could keep making new ones. They're much more manageable around attractions like this.

Here, the gold fragment should limit the number of oni that can be produced.

Hmm?

Now who's that girl? I don't recognize her, but she sure is chatty...

Of course, even if I do know you, that doesn't mean I'm going to let you interfere with my job.

I know I'm irresistible, but no matter how badly you want me...

...you need to wait until my shift is over, like my Good-Looking Braves.

And since you couldn't do that...

...I'm going to give you the whip, and you're going to like it!

Ghh! I suppose I should have expected this from the renowned queen of a foreign nation!

She is incredibly strong...! This will be much more difficult than I had anticipated!

I could say the same about you. Hehe, you know, I like both working women and fighting women.

I don't know how I feel about women who devote themselves entirely to someone else, though. That's no way to live, right?

You need to take charge of your life and own whatever it is you want! Like these horses!

There's so many things you can do with wooden horses, don't you think? You can ride them, ride them...

...ooh, and you can ride them!

She just repeated herself three ti

A-aah...!

This is terrible, Senpai! Medb has, um... How can I put this...

She's started performing a very, um, provocative dance on one of the merry-go-round's horses...

I'm concerned this may be too much for Ibaraki-Douji to handle! Th-this is unacceptable behavior, Senpai!

You chumps really do think I'm a child, huh?

I mean, never mind that! You there! What do you think you're doing!?

Shuten could pull that off, but you just look ridiculous. If you wanna devour the horses, then just devour them and be done with it already!

？！

Wh-what? What other meaning could that dance possibly have!?

...!

Huh? Why did you turn away from me, shinobi woman? Why are you staring at the ground?

Look me in the eye, or I'll swallow your head whole. Wait... Did you just shake your head at me!?

...(Sigh) Are you really that innocent a child? Ugh, what a mood killer.

All right then, let's just hurry up and finish this. Commander oni!

Aw crap! It's the big guys!

The large oni are back! Several of them, by the looks of it!

So that attraction manager lady can even call in big oni.

She must have a lot of gold in that case... Hmm, this could be kind of bad.

!!!

Queen Medb was already a formidable opponent on her own! If we face more powerful oni at the same time...!

...Sounds like you guys could use a hand.

？！

Who's there!?

Aah! Where'd that club come from!?

If you're using Presence Concealment, you already gave yourself away when you spoke! Quit hiding!

Well, if you insist, I suppose I'd better oblige.

...Magifender Girl is on the scene again!

...It's all fine and good if the heavens forgive you, I guess.

If Earth wants to forgive you, that's its business. And I reeeally don't care if humans forgive you.

But an oni? If you're looking for forgiveness from an oni, that'll depend on which oni you ask!

Hmph.

You handle this however you want. I'll just be riiight here watching.

...I'm a magifender, and magifense is me...

Magifender Girl is on the scene again!

... ...

...Magi-what now? And didn't you already say that?

No way! It's Magifender Girl Oni Cure! I never thought I'd get to see her again!

I even got to hear her say her catchphrase twice! Sooo cooooool!

Senpai?

Master, Master, what is stock footage?

Does it have something to do with why Lady Magifender repeated the same line twice?

So she did repeat herself. I knew it.

？！

Aah!

D-did you see that, Master!? She winked at me!

Mwahahaha, I can feel my blood literally boiling in excitement! It's like my whole body is ablaze!

Only a true magifender oni could get me this worked up. She's everything Shuten said she was and more!

I, um, think she might have been winking at Senpai, actually.

Oh, never mind that.

Now that you're here, Magifender Girl, does this mean we can count on you to help us?

Mmm... Good question.

I don't really see the fun in just joining whoever asks me to help.

Ally. Enemy. What's the difference? Hmph.

Now, now, Spot. Be nice.

...My name's Haku.

Anyway, it sounds like you're all looking for gold?

I guess this mysterious Magifender Girl can help with that.

？！

...Oni are oni. We go wherever we want and do whatever we please.

I might be a magifender, but I'm still an oni at heart.

So you'll just have to forgive me if I grind you down and drink you up, Ms. Attraction Manager.

Ahahahaha! Fine with me. If you think you can pull that off, just go ahead and try!

It's time you found out what we managersno, we Gold Servantscan really do!

Here she comes again, Master! And she has large oni backing her up this time!

？！

...!

N-not bad... So this is what you can do with that Magifender Girl on your side...

No... You're just a bunch of idiots.

You're too stupid to care about this gold... This wondrous, wondrous gold...

Wha? Huh?

Senpai...

I'm not seeing Medb retreat... It looks like she's vanished...

Whoa there, let's not go jumping to conclusions before I've had a chance to share the results of my analysis! It isn't actually Medb the Heroic Spirit who just disappeared here.

It was just an imitation of her Spirit Origin created by superdense magical energynamely, the Kamuy's Gold.

She was more like a Shadow Servant, or even just a shell of one, than anything else.

The real Medb is still alive and well, as far as I know.

？！

Will do.

Hm? Is there something distorting the air there...?

Its magical energy is so powerful that it is visually affecting its surroundings. Is this the gold we are looking for, Master?

Normally it would look like real gold ore, but I think, now that it's missing its protective shell...

...it's been exposed as raw magical energy. Give me a minute.

...Come here. It's okay. You must have been so scared, but it's over now.

Come on. You know you don't belong here, right?

I'll make sure you get back to your home. So don't be scared. Come with me and it'll all be fine.

...Welcome back.

That takes care of the first gold fragment!

Then I guess my work here is done. Maybe I'll see you around again, if you're lucky.

Bye, losers.

Ah!

Oni Cure just left...! I missed my chance to talk to her again! Ugh!

But I definitely sensed a rare and special connection between us. This must be what it's like when something strikes you to your very core!

Did you all see how easily Magifender Girl took out those posers?

The way she saved me and ran off again without so much as blinking... That grace... That scent... That bewitching air!

She almost reminds me of Shuten...!

？！

(Senpai...)

(Oh, now I get it. You're trying to preserve Ibaraki-Douji's innocence!)

Hm? What's with the weird face, Master?

At any rate, we now have the first gold fragment in our possession!

Hmm. I wonder what sort of attraction manager we must face to obtain the second...

The second attraction on our list...

...is the teacups!

The whirling, spinning ones!

Gehehehe...! Gahahahaha!

The Whip Oni was the weakest of all my managers! The others won't even notice she's gone!

That said, it seems they have the wrong idea about me...

I'm not that loser Ura. I'm the Great Oni Vermilion Dragon!

Gehehehehe! Gaaahahahahaha!

Now go, my teacup attraction manager!

Most teacup rides bring people together, but mine will sever your bonds through sheer terror!

Oh, and don't forget to stock up on barf bags. I love breaking up couples with my cups, but there's no need to add insult to injury by having them throw up all over each other.

Even oni aren't completely heartless! Hahahahaha!