The Oni of the 50th Floor

Hello! This is the tower's halfway point, yes!

Can you guess what awaits you at this wonderful milestone? Get it right, and you'll win a fantastic prize, yes!

？！

Thaaat's right! You just earned the privilege of competing in this ring, yes!

？！

Not you too, Quetzalcoatl!

Hmm. I have seen this before.

One of the characters in my favorite fighting game has a home stage that looks like this. I often select this character when it is time to do battle.

He is a very muscular man, and it is a lot of fun to make him twirl his opponent and throw them around like...

I apologize. I have gotten rather off topic.

Ahem... Tell me, goddess from a foreign land, why do you side with these oni?

¡Es simple! They scratch my back, so I scratch theirs.

I don't want beating hearts and the like, no! But I WILL take other kinds of sacrifices! I am a goddess, you know!

And just when I was getting a little down from not quite getting enough exercise, Shuten and Ibaraki came to me with something wonderful!

They offered a place small enough to focus solely on lucha, on a floor at an altitude high enough to toughen up my heart and lungs...

...AND a situation where a bevy of opponents would show up all of their own accord. What more could I ask for?

Basically, it means I get student after student showing up to enroll, yes!

I don't remember signing up for any school, but what the hell. I'm having all kinds of fun with this lady!

Ahh, an enclosed space where escape is not an option. This takes me back to my gladiator days! As such, the only choice I have left is to rebel!

Now come, hurt me. Injure me! I shall take everything you have, and rebel with love!

If there's a battle royale with love to be found, you can bet I'll be throwing down!

By the way, that vigilante Assassin is sitting this one out, yes.

I still remember our promise, but it just didn't seem right to lump the Assassin in with the rest of my students, you know?

I suppose he is used to taking his opponents' attacks head-on.

Well, he was a gladiator, so he's probably used to fighting in rings like that...

I'll say this for him. He's certainly...gutsy, trying to add HER to his list of conquests...

？！

So! The rules on this floor couldn't be simpler. No need to dredge up the past or worry about old acquaintances showing their faces here.

All you have to do is pin me for a three count, yes! If you can't the stairs to the next floor will never open!

In other words: Buster x Buster x Buster. Simple, yes!?

For a "three count"... Is that different from a KO?

Hmm? Well, if you manage a knockout, that counts as a victory too! So either works, yes!

I see. Then it really is simple. Essentially, all we need to do is defeat you.

？！

Indeed. I have KO'd many an opponent in my games of video.

All I need to do here is use my arms instead of my controller.

And although it is a bit embarrassing to admit this as a woman, I have every confidence in my physical strength.

Watch, Master, as I defeat every opponent who dares challenge me! I shall pound them all into the mat!

(Huff, huff)... I won!

Wooow, increíble! We've got a contender on our hands, yes! I would love for you to join my lucha team!

If you combined that sheer power with lucha's speed and technique, I think you'd be unstoppable!

That's very kind of you, but I must humbly decline. Fighting games are fine and all, but constant one-on-one fights feel like nothing more than endless brawls.

I still prefer strategy games. Besides, there are still many genres of game I have yet to try.

Ah, if only there were more hours in the day...

Hmm, not quite the answer I was expecting, but okay! Just let me know if you ever change your mind, yes!

So...I suppose you won't be telling us the real reason you were working with Shuten-Douji and Ibaraki-Douji?

I will not, no! Where is the fun in that! I am a benevolent goddess, but those two are far from benevolent, yes.

Sinceramente, I don't mind playing along as long as there might beor isa good reason to do it.

That is an act of benevolence on its own, yes!

Besides! I got to spread the joy of lucha!

Anyway...adiós mis amigos♡

She was not even trying, and yet her prowess in combat was incredible... What extraordinary skill...

So this is what it is to face a goddess...

At any rate, we have finally crossed the halfway point. Let us keep this up for the next fifty floors as well!

...

Snooort... (Translation: Man, that guy really stands out...)

Neiiigh... (Translation: You certainly don't see someone like that every day...)

(Perhaps he only showed up here because this bath is reserved for steeds. But then, what about the man on top?)

(Say, I just noticed he's barefoot, Kyogoku! Maybe he's just here to soak his feet?)

(Then all is well!)

Wh-whinny... (Translation: That aside, this latest battle is quite a big to-do, isn't it?)

Neigh! (Translation: It IS certainly a new experience, even for veterans like us.)

(Ah! Are you a, um, mare, Llamrei? Your proportions are a sight to behold!)

(Sorry about that. I'm afraid there weren't separate baths for male and female steeds.)

(Snort...)

(A-anyway, I admire all the hard work you two have been putting in. I'm sorry Kyogoku and I have mostly just been on standby this time.)

(Oh no, we still have a very long way to go. Lord Bucephalus isn't here right now, but he must have been working far harder than Llamrei and I.)

(I've heard rumors about him. They say he can actually respond to summons on his own, depending on the situation. Talk about powerful...)

(That goes for Lord Tarasque over there as well. He may be snoozing away without a care in the world right now, but I'm told he's contributed immensely.)

(I heard him talking in his sleep about how he wishes his rider were more refined, but I'll just pretend I didn't.)

(Well aren't you guys having fun. Still, there's a fine line between harmony and tedium. I, for one, don't envy your situation at all.)

(Now, now, it's more exciting here than you think...)

(My master finally got tired of going back and forth between these hot springs and the tower, and decided to stay in her swimsuit to avoid having to change clothes...)

(Now I'm terrified I might get called up at any moment. Not that I wouldn't be happy to serve, of course! I mean, we're talking swimsuits here!)

(By the way, I just remembered something I wanted to ask you about. May I?)

(What is it?)

(It's about the difference between the master who rides you, and the one with the same face who doesn't.)

(I've always wondered about why the one who rides you is...y'know..."bigger" if you take my meaning.)

(Well... There are many different elements that go into the sacred lance, so...)

(So I had a thought! A hypothesis, even!)

(What if...what if your hide produces some sort of special, temporary growth hormone?)

(...)

(If they do, and my OWN master were to ride you, well... I can't stop thinking about it!)

(I mean, they're already gloriously huge as they are, but what if...they got even bigger?)

(Not only that, I wouldn't be the one carrying her at the time, so I'd have a perfect opportunity to ogle them as much and for as long as I wanted!)

(Ahh, just the thought of it makes me... Makes me...!)

(C-cool it, Kyogoku! Can't you see Lady Llamrei's about to kick the living daylights out of you!?)

(By the way... I've been so relaxed here that I only just noticed, but...)

...

(Why is that warrior lounging about in the steed bath...?)