Section 2: Prying Priests

I think we should start here, especially since it's near the village.

Fine with me. Starting close to home is almost always a good choice.

It's easy to defend and attack from so close.

I heard a little about this earlier, but it sounds like the kind of merfolk in this area aren't the kind Master saw when he first got here?

That's right. There are several different kinds of water monsters here.

Usually, only one species emerges from the fog at a time, and so far, it's been a different species each time.

The merfolk you saw are the only kind we've seen across all the islands, so there could be some here, too...

...but I think most of the ones we'll find here are from a different species.

Like we mentioned earlier, these new water monsters look more like humans than the merfolk did.

And for some reason, the Con's finishing moves didn't work on them, even though they don't even have scales.

On top of that, they also use a mysterious technique to strengthen themselves.

Those two factors have kept us from being able to do anything about them, so we've had no choice but to leave this area alone.

Got it. Putting aside that enhancement technique for now, since we don't have much information about it...

...let's go over what Hai Bà Trưng have already told us about these monsters' external characteristics.

As our resident genius artist, I whipped up a sketch of them based on the sisters' description, and it looks like they're dressed in Japanese clothing.

And so...

So that is why you called on us.

Hopefully, either my spear or my Buddhist chants can send them to the afterlife.

And since I've already come all this way, I'll see if they can do just that!

So shiny and smooth...

Are you one of us?

Indeed, I suppose we are, in a sense. Hahaha.

Would you take this seriously? We're deep in enemy territory here, you know!

We're supposed to be on our guard here!

My, my, you're so serious, Yōumíng Niángniang (goddess of the underworld). Why do you feel the need to rush on ahead?

The whole reason we brought these monks along was so we could leave this sort of fieldwork to them.

Maybe so, but that doesn't mean I can just stand around in the back twiddling my thumbs.

？！

Y-you really think so?

I mean, I'm just a natural go-getter. I couldn't stop being that way even if I wanted to.

I'm definitely not doing this for your praise! That's for sure! I-in fact, I can't imagine why you'd ever think otherwise!

Yes, yes, whatever you say. Come on, now that we know what these monsters look like, let's not waste any more time tracking them down.

？！

Hmm? When did you teach those creatures that trick, Qì'é Wǔnǚ (translation: Penguin Dancer)?

Well, I am not about to let you outdo me. Maybe I will teach them how to use my torture implements once we get back.

(Silently shaking her head as if to say, "That's a terrible idea")

...There. That's it.

Hmm. That is indeed Japanese clothing.

And what's more...he seems to be dressed like a monk.

No matter. Anyone can look like a monk if they put on a kesa robe and chant a Buddhist prayer or two.

But it is what is on the inside that counts.

Allow me and my jumonji spear to find out exactly what this monk imposter is truly made of!

Oh my. What brilliant spearmanship!

Hm? That's kind of you to say, if a little embarrassing. But unfortunately, that didn't go quite how I expected...

Keh heh heh! Gooo!

...Riddle me this... I have both two legs and eight, my residence is both impenetrable and mobile, and I can change it whenever I please. What am I?

???

...!

Huh!?

Don't you remember? They said the Con's attacks didn't work on these things. And while I'm at it, I'm guessing that was their technique for enhancing themselves.

？！

Hmm... Riddles... Monk attire... Where have I heard this sort of thing before...?

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Yes, Master. Look, there's a new one over there. Let us go take a closer look.

We'll keep this one busy. Right now, we need all the information we can get!

We'll do our best to find a way past their defenses... Good luck!

I am in your debt!

...Riddle me this... I have both two legs and eight, my residence is both impenetrable and mobile, and I can change it whenever I please. What am I?

...!

I've got it! The answer is...a hermit crab!

Now, let us see what you really are, water monster. Hah!

Huh!? What is that thing!?

That is their true nature! These creatures are hermit crab monsters.

They are said to wander the lands of Japan posing riddles while dressed as monks and killing any who cannot answer...

A variant of the crab monk yokai!

？！

There HAS to be a better name for them.

Okay, it's great that we know what they are now, but what are we going to do about all of them!?

It appears they see no need to hide what they are now that we have answered their riddle.

That must be why some of them are already in their shells.

And no wonder. They know the Con can never hurt them through those shells, no matter how much we may weaken them.

Th-then what if we broke their shells open? Would that do it?

You want us to not only weaken them as much as possible, but also break open their shells without damaging their insides?

I, who mastered the Houzouin style, should be able to manage that, but what about the rest of you?

Do you think you could execute such an intricate attack?

Nope.

I'm afraid my spear technique is more about brute strength than precision strikes, so...

Then I'm afraid I alone won't be able to crack open so many shells.

The fact is, this is a war, small though the scale of it may be. And it is one that the Con themselves need to fight.

So it may be that the Con need to deal the final blow...

...by piercing the crabs' shells and striking their exposed weak point.

Unfortunately, answering their riddle might remove their enhancement, but it doesn't do anything about their shells.

And the Con just don't have the strength to break through them.

Which means the only option we have is...

...

Then I guess we have no choice but to retreat for the time being.

Yup.

As they say, they who fight and run away, live to fight another day. Retreat is our best option here.

I suspect you all had the same thought as well.

However, whether or not this is what the Buddha would do, I can't say, as I am still in training.

I think our only option is arming the Con.

...I agree.

That does seem to be the answer, yes.

Hmm. Is this what the Buddha would want? To give weapons to innocent beings such as these?

Then again, I carry a weapon myself, so I suppose I'm in no position to talk!

Hmph. Even the most docile of herbivores will fight tooth and nail to escape being eaten.

It's too bad turtles don't have any teeth.

Shall I carve some pointy dentures for you then? I'm quite good at making vicious tools of that sort.

At any rate, it would seem this is indeed our only option if they are going to survive.

Whatcha talking about?

We're talking about how we can help you and all the other Con.

This way, they'll be able to protect themselves, but at the cost of part of what makes them...them. Are we okay with that?

You're right. Even if this is what they have to do to survive...I don't want to force them.

Yeah. ...So what're you guys gonna do?

I don't wanna get eaten unless I say it's okay.

I wanna play more.

I wanna sunbathe.

...What about you, Boss-Boss?

Hm?

What would make you happy?

Well, I wouldn't say it's about happiness.

But if you were all eaten, and there weren't any of you left...

...I think I would be very sad.

We still don't know exactly what you are. We don't know what kind of connection we have, if any.

But what we do know is, now that we've met... Now that we know the joys of laughing together...

...I don't want to lose what we have.

...Maybe it's the same as what happened when I was alive.

I couldn't abide how things were...

...so I made a stand to try and change them, even though I knew I wasn't strong enough. I didn't have a choice.

I knew it would be dangerous. I knew it would put everyone I cared about in danger. But even so...

(It sounds like she's remembering the rebellion she and her sister started.)

Oh, whoops! I'm sorry for getting off track. Never mind me. My point is

I'll do it.

Huh?

I'll fight!

We've already been fighting back!

Now we'll just hit them with tools instead of our hands, right?

Hear that, Sister? They're on board.

Sometimes, people know nothing's going to change unless they fight.

That's why we decided to make you our king...

...and follow you wherever you decide to go.

Yeah... I guess you're right.

Okay then!

Let's go ahead with the plan to arm the Con!

？！

At this point, that does seem like the only viable option.

Fortunately, we also have Servants who excel at Item Construction.

So we shouldn't have any trouble using this island's unique resources to make weapons the Con can use.

The only question now is, what exactly do we make?

The Con are very good with their hands, so they should be able to use any kind of weapon we give them.

Especially if they only need to deal the final blow to weakened enemies. So, what shall we make?

Good question. I've never armed my Gallû Spirits, so I don't have many ideas...

The only weapons a star and her backup dancers need are beauty and glamour.

I know! Torture instruments! Like saws and such!

(...She IS joking, right?)

(No clue. Who knows how empresses think?)

We overheard the whole thing!

Hehehe. Looks like this is a job for...me!

Huh? It's you...!

Hahahahaaa!

This first meeting of the "What Do We Arm The Con-Cons With?" Coalition is now in session!

Oooh! (Clapping) Come on, Nhị, you too!

O-ooh?

Tsk tsk tsk. Isn't it obvious?

Since you don't know what to arm the Con-Cons with, Chan-mas...

...I decided to call in a bunch of weapons experts to get their opinions!

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Um, it's a long story. But the short version is...

It seemed like fun!

？！ ？！

All righty, let's get started, shall we!? First up, question time!

What kind of weapon do you recommend for a rank amateur?

I would suggest a katanaa long sword.

They are the weapon of true warriors. The more you swing one, the more of a warrior you will become.

So I would recommend the long sword.

Of course, if you decide to make long swords, then Mother will come help however she can.

Oh my. Is she your mother?

(Why does he look so...uncomfortable with that?)

?

？！

Okay, everyone's all warmed up now, yeah? Then let's move on to the next guy!

Now, in the interest of time, let's keep your answer short and sweet. What weapon do you recommend for begin

Short?

Short.

Short...?

Short!

...Okaaay!!!

Spartaaa! (Hello)

If you want to arm every last soldier, then the spear is your only choice!

I know I may seem like a meek intellectual, but I did actually lead three hundred Spartans into battle against the Persian army.

So I'm very used to fighting with small forces.

Of course, each one of my Spartan soldiers was equal to a thousand ordinary ones.

But that doesn't at all detract from the unparalleled excellence of the spear!

They're easier to use than swords when fighting as an army, and they're safer for people inexperienced in combat!

For one thing, they're perfect for keeping your distance from the enemy.

As long as you can thrust and swing...

...even inexperienced fighters can achieve some degree of success in combat.

And, as a bonus...

...if you should choose spears, then I, of course, will come join you as well!

I will then mold even your squishy soldiers into Spartans with physiques most gloriously muscular!

I shall make them into first-class soldiers! One must fight if one is to survive, so fight they shall!

Man, you Spartans really are something else! I might have to take some lessons from you too at some point.

And finally, let's hear what this last person has to say! Uh...

... ...

I probably should've thought of this before calling you, but do you have any weapons you'd recommend for beginners?

You wish for my opinion? I'm honored to be here...

...but I'm afraid I only have an inkling of an idea when compared to your other two experts' sheer passion.

Black Keys are quite difficult to wield. It took me a considerable time to master them.

My suggestion...is the pile bunker.

It is both a simple and effective way for defeating enemies who are protected by tough shells.

And, most importantly, it's...it's just cool!

Absolutely.

He gets it.

？！

Are you here, Master? I need to talk to you about the dig si

Hold it. Was that...?

...All right. I know what to do. I shall brew a batch of memory-erasing poison and make that saint drink a gallon of it.

Okay, that's all for today, folks! Great job all around!

So, now that we've heard a number of opinions, have you settled on the weapon you think will work best?

Each has its strengths and weaknesses, so it's really up to you and what you prefer, Chan-mas.

All right, I'm gonna wrap this up by handing the baton off to our collective kouhai! Go on and sum things up!

Huh? U-uh, okay!

Ahem.

Well, as Sei Shounagon said, we have options now, and I know it may be difficult to choose...

...but in the end, Master, I think you're the only one who can make this decision.

If you can't seem to make up your mind...

...you could also base your decision on how much of any given material we've acquired so far.

Okay, that's all I have to say. I look forward to seeing what weapon you choose, Master!