My Ultimate Book

I know... They're all beyond exhausted, and even Palingenesis doesn't look like it would work...

Maybe so...but at least...the end...is in sight!

I'm on my last scene now!

I've gotten really good at drawing sound effects! Especially the gush of blood from a beheading!

Hm? You don't need me to do any more hand lettering? Feel free to lavish me with praise for my hard if not perfect work, you hear?

...

Hey, can I ask ya somethin'?

What's up?

Well...uh... What do ya do if you "deleted" all the, uh, "data" stuff?

...

...

...L-let me see that.

Aaaaaah!

...O-Osakabehime, see if you can recover anything! Robin, you've been making backups, right?

Yeah. Every fifteen minutes.

On it!

I-I'm so sorry!

Eh, don't sweat it. This kinda crap happens all the time with digital work.

But, if we don't figure something out...

We'll just have to submit early in the morning. We can still make that work.

Hokusai, you get started on that thing we talked about! Give her a hand with that, Master!

？！

...All right, this is it! It's do or die!

It's... It's done!

I copied it to a bunch of USB sticks, just in case. Everybody take one!

Holy-whatever Maiden, Osakabehime, Hokusai, you three can take a break. We should be good.

I-I think I'll do that... Good night... (Zzz...)

S-so...tired... Can't...move...anymore...

Just gotta take it to the printer now, right? Then my work here is done.

Now, we've just gotta hand this data over. Come on, we gotta run!

...The hell? They should be here by now.

Hey! You there!

Yes'm? What can I do for ya?

Have you seen a blond guy around here?

You know, the guy hanging out with the French maid and the furry-eared chick?

Hm? If you mean the CEO, he left for ServantFes a long time ago.

Dammit... All right, we'll just have to give it to him at the convention center then!

...I wonder if they really can pull off that printing method they told us about.

R-right. C'mon guys, we're goin' to the con! Now!

I-is running really gonna make a difference!?

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Huh?

Over there! Look!

H-hey, why're these guys trying to get in our faces?

They are Celtic soldiers. Medb's underlings!

？！

I'll deal with them. The rest of you, hurry to the con!

Fortunately, I thought something like this might happen, so I made arrangements.

Arrangements?

I'm heeere!

I heard you need a ride!

Get on! I'll have you at the con in no time!

Okay, let's split up.

Ushiwakamaru, you go with Kintoki.

Eh?

Got it! Thanks for your help, Lord Kintoki!

...N-no problem! Just don't go falling off!

Then I'll make sure to hold on to you tight!

No! That's...I mean, I guess that's okay, but...!

A-ah, whatever! Get ready, 'cause I'm gonna floor it! Golden Bear, full throttle!

I admit I'm a little worried about Kintoki, but never mind that now! Alter, you go on Astolfo's hippogriff!

Come on, Master, you're coming too!

We'll be right behind you! See you again soon, Master!

？！

Two of you? No problemo! Sooo, which one of you's okay with a princess carry?

...Fujimaru is.

We're almost there...!

Huh? What's that sound?

Aaah!

Wh-what was that!?

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That...little...BITCH!

That last one got us good! We're gonna have to make an emergency landing!

Go on back, Hippogriff!

Can you still run, Master?

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Seriously? Freak. But I guess we're lucky Chaldea's got a penchant for overengineering right now!

Fine then, use it to strengthen your legs! You should at least be able to pull that off!

I'll try to hold off that chariot!

？！

Sure! Without Medb in that thing, it's just a big, sturdy, dangerously destructive machine of war!

...Maybe I can't do this by myself!

Man, you guys can't do anything on your own, can you? Guess I'll just have to bail you out again.

Mwahaha, ox-drawn carriages are my specialty! This will be good practice for my next fight with Raikou!

Huh?

Hey there, Master. That's Medb's chariot, isn't it?

You must've really pissed her off this time.

She only breaks that thing out when she's really hit the limits of her rage!

Aloha Man! Ibaraki-Douji!

Aloha!? Does this look like a Hawaiian shirt to you!?

Oh shut up! I was talking about your soul, not your fashion choices! You're just like Robin!

Hey! I'm not nearly as twisted as he is!

Hmph. If Medb thinks she can ruin all our hard work with a stunt like this, she's sorely mistaken.

I'm not letting all that lettering I helped with go to waste! Now hurry up and get to the con already.

And if you manage to take first prize, let's have another one of those barbecue parties to celebrate.

Your treat, of course!

Banana Oni!? When did I get such a delicious-sounding nickname!?

？！

All right, let's run!

Hahahaha! Another year, another sorry crop of manga. But I suppose this is all we can expect from amateurs!

Aside from the professional writers among the Servants like Andersen and Shakespeare, of course.

I suppose this means Medb's photo album is a lock for the top seller then?

So it would seem.

All the money she saved by making it full of selfies let her really splurge on the cover and general design.

I'm pretty sure it's the only self-published book in the history of self-published books to be sold as a jewel-encrusted leather hardcover.

Not that I mind, since we made a literal ton of money off it.

Looks like I'll end up winning after all. Thanks for all your support. Now bow down before your queen!

I suppose I should reward you for showing me how to take a good selfie, Anastasia. What would you like?

GODDAMN HOT.

I see... Not much I can do about that...

So Moolah, any word from that not-so-holy maiden's club? Did they turn in their book yet?

No, they haven't. I was looking forward to it, too...

I see. Then I've already won.

I was kind of curious what they had in store after all that smack they talked...

...but it doesn't matter how good their book might be if they can't get it to the con.

Made it!

？！

!

Moolah! Here's the digital file of our book. I need you to fire up your printers right now.

Ooh, a day-of submission? Thank you for your business☆

I don't care if you take us for all we've got today. Just make sure you get enough copies printed in time.

You can make all the copies we need with that reverse cause-and-effect printer of yours, right? Then here, this is how many we need.

Wow. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to charge you for all these...but this is your first con, correct? Are you sure you're going to sell this many?

Stand back, Moolah. I'll be the judge of how many copies this book merits.

At the moment, Medb's photo album is the clear front-runner.

My own tastes are about as far from Venus as you can get, but I can't deny there's something genuine there.

It's no wonder that Medb's "beauty" is a hit with the mongrels. Even I went and purchased a copy.

Her book is undoubtedly one of this year's top contenders. Do you really think yours will require more copies?

Heh. I imagine your amateur effort will merit no more than a hundred, at best.

...See for yourself then.

O-okay, I'll print one up as a test run. Check this one out.

Hmm...

...

Oho, interesting...

...Really...?

...

...Oh come on. Why would you go to the battlefield now? And why aren't you stopping him?

...!

O-oh my. This is rather engaging...

Whoa! I can't believe he's still alive!

What are you waiting for, Boss!? Turn the page!

Not so fast. One needs to savor these intervals between pages.

After all, much of the magic of manga lies in the space between panels. Every good reader knows that.

Oops, my hand slipped☆ Huh!? Does this mean they can't be together now?

Can you blame them? He's a monster, and she's a princess. They were arguably doomed from the start.

I refuse to believe that!

...

I gotta say, Master, seeing other people read our book like this is kind of...

It's, uh, just 'cause it's hot in here. Gotta be.

I was gonna say agonizing, but that too.

？！

...So the monster gave his life for the princess. A well-worn trope for these sorts of stories.

That said...this background art is incredible! In fact, it's legitimately breathtaking!

I understand how the monster feels. He believes his ugliness could ultimately serve only as a source of suffering for his beloved.

In which case, it's no wonder he would choose to sacrifice himself. He must have thought it was the only way.

Nonsense! The only way I will permit is the way that leads to Uruk!

...Huh?

I...I...

I remember...!

I'm not a rich man who lives in Luluhawa! I'm the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh P!

Someone bopped me in the head with a squeaky plastic hammer the moment I set foot in Hawaii, causing me to lose my memories!

We all know that already! Now come on, I want to read what happens next!

I see. Today is full of surprises.

...Regardless, there would not seem to be a "next" to read, now that the monster is dead.

Wait. How is he still alive?

Hehehe. This was foreshadowed a few pages ago, King of Heroes.

I knew I smelled a good ending forthcoming. Call it women's intuition☆

Thank goodness... I was so sure the monster had died on the battlefield...

Although, it does look like he can't fight anymore.

Indeed. With his wild nature gone, the monster is now just another animal.

And now that she's given up her crown, the princess is just another woman.

Which means there is no longer anything standing between them.

So they went on to elope... How romantic. Though I wonder, will they be able to live happily ever after?

I think they will. This voyage portends that their journey together will be a good one.

I hope you're right.

...So? How many copies are you gonna print?

A fair question.

Given that your manga was able to shock my memories into returning...I must admit that it is a fine bit of entertainment indeed.

In fact, it has rendered a faint moistness to my eye and reminded me that amateur works can be just as good as anything else.

Thus, in recognition of your accomplishment, I will run my printers...at full capacity, capacity, capacity, capacity!

...Yes!

But that doesn't mean it's going to sell, you know? Are you sure you can turn that many copies at your first con?

...We'll be fine. We've seen a lot more con action than you might think.

Oh? Didn't you say this was your very first doujin?

...Yeah, I did.

Not to worry. Good artists naturally attract good salespeople.

That's part of what makes these sorts of fan artist alleys so fun! Now then...the time is upon us, Moolah!

Let this year's ServantFes begin! Hahaha, I'll be very interested to see what happens!

There we go.

Gotta say, I really appreciate you lettin' me hawk my own book here.

Oooh, Hokusai, won't you please let me help? Please? Preeetty pleeease?

All right, all right, I hear ya already. ...Okay, how 'bout this?

Why don'tcha take this "Line Starts Here" sign and show the customers where they need ta go?

You can count on me! Did you hear, Master!? Did you hear!? I have a job now!

Thank you, Master!

...!

I-I'll do my very best! I won't let anybody down!

？！

Well would ya look at that. Glad she's so happy. Still feel bad for havin' her help me out though.

You mean because of the "Iron Bar" part...?

？！

Hey, take it up with Toto-sama.

Here's your change! Thank you so much!

The line starts here, everyone! Please queue up in an orderly fashion!

... ...

Thanks for the support. Here you go, take it!

Hey there! You guys sure took your time showing up!

？！

Anyway, I'll take a copy of your book, if you don't mind.

You helped us out plenty, so don't sweat the cost. On the house.

Don't be ridiculous, Jalter.

I'm just exchanging some of that useless treasure I've piled up for something of real value here.

If I don't pay now, I'll just feel bad about it later.

Now shut up and take my money! ...I always wanted to say that.

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Heh... I've been a part of this scene for a long time now. Ever since I became a Servant, in fact!

And I'm really, really proud to see you guys put out such a great book.

Almost makes it seem like I was your sponsor or something! Heh, obviously I wasn't, but still...

Anyway, that's enough chitchat. See you round!

I'm all out of books!

Nothing but empty boxes here too. Which means...

We sold out!

...We actually did it.

？！

This concludes ServantFes!

So, you sold out just as I thought you would. You certainly took your time about it, though.

Yeah, yeah, you win, I lose! I get it!

Hold it.

Now what?

The whole point of these books is sharing them, right? Here.

...I don't really need it, but fine, I guess I can take it off your hands. Here, I guess you can have one of my books in exchange.

Just don't expect it to keep its value for long. I'm gonna make an even better one next year!

So, you've already got a plan for your next book. Impressive presentation skills.

Say, that gives me an idea. What do you think about holding our next industry initiative in a gorgeous, decadent skyscraper, Moolah?

A skyscraper? Like the sort that giant monkey climbed? I can't say I care for places like that.

Las Vegas, on the other hand...♡

Hahaha, you do like your deserts, don't you? I guess it's true what they say: you can take the woman out of the desert, but not the desert out of the woman.

But enough of that!

Gespenst Ketzer! I award you this Holy Grail for taking first place at ServantFes!

Confirming... The magical energy reservoir checks out. This is definitely a Holy Grail.

So now, all we have to do is use it at Kilauea, and this Singularity will go away...right?

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Hang on. ...Let's hear what this guy's got to say first.

So you're done.

You got a real flair for showing up once everything's over, don'tcha?

There is nothing I can do about that. I've been busy handling the matter you left to me after we defeated the Foreigner.

How'd it go, anyway?

I have been keeping an eye out since you asked, and it's just as you suspected.

She has not been there once in all this time.

Gotcha. Well then, let's just skip the whole bit with Kilauea and go straight to the Mauna Kea Observatories.

Pele awaits there, at the site of the final battle.

Did you say..."final battle"?

If you'd just read the guidebook, you'd know what I was talking about.

...I mean, uh, not that I gave it more than a passing glance. Just skimmed it, really...

Fou...

Somethin' to say, furball!? Now come on, let's go!