Prologue: The Man Who Returned from Hell

Okay, everyone, right this way. Don't worry, everything's going to be just fine.

Just head toward the light there; my predecessor left it behind to serve as a guide.

...Man, I had no idea guiding souls was going to be this tough.

Even with Yamataikoku gone, I'm stuck here guiding lost souls to the light.

I mean, I understand that what happened was maybe, partially...a liiittle bit my fault, but this is still kind of wearing me out.

Even if this is part of my duties as Yamataikoku's second queen, I shouldn't be stuck doing customer service forever.

(...Sigh)

Oh, well. Grumbling won't change anything.

I'll just try to wrap this up quickly so I can go out and really have fun drinking!

By myself!

...I'm so terribly lonely.

...Wait. Huh? What is this feeling? I see a little light...and

No way... The Dark Blight!? But, all the inhuman creatures' souls should have been turned to light.

Apparently not all of them...

Huh? Y-you!?

It's an honor to meet you...

...Lady Iyo, second queen of Yamataikoku.

So where are we? Gotta admit, this place has a weird kinda charm to it...

I think it's that Yamawhatsit place. I guess it came back somehow?

？！

Okay, looks like the Rayshift went well.

You guys can take it from here.

Wow. Just...wow. Way to leave us to twist.

Hey, don't blame me. Nothing else we can do from here.

All we can say for sure is that the SOS we picked up definitely originates from those coordinates.

Anyway, you guys mind if I get going? It's almost teatime.

Fine. Forget her. The resident genius is obviously in no mood to be helpful.

Man, now I wish I'd had a snack before we left.

Ugh, here. You can have some of my konpeitou if you want.

Hey, Queenie! What the hell's going on here!?

This obviously isn't the same Yamataikoku we came to before!

There's a certain postmodern elegance to it now!

I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on, either.

Why not? This SOS is coming from Yamataikokuthe ruined nation YOU left behind!

That's the whole reason we're here!

Okay, enough, Nobbu. Why don't you go look at some cicada husks or something while the grown-ups talk.

Are you still getting this SOS?

It's actually kind of fuzzy right now... Hang on. Let me see if I can hone in on it.

We're going to cut comms for now, but we'll let you know if we figure anything out.

I doubt this is any great shock at this point, but our connection is...less than stable. Yet again.

Please be careful, Senpai!

It's a shame I wasn't one of the people who drew a spot on the team when it was decided, but I'll do my best to get chosen next time!

Mash Kyrielight, over and out!

Be careful out there, Sister!

Hey, you! The sickly man-slayer! If something happens, I'm counting on you to be Sister's meat shield! Hell, even if nothing happens, protect her!

You're going to love the rolled tamagoyaki omelets Chacha made for your box lunch, Little Okita! They're nice and sweet, great for a snack!

Am I the only one who thought Mash was acting kinda weird?

She did seem pretty disappointed that she lost the lot drawing.

(Sigh...) Why am I getting sent out on what are basically errands?

You DO know I'm Japan's top daimyo, right? I mean, I died and stuff, but still!

That's how it goes when you draw lots. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose.

I do wonder why Chaldea's resorting to drawing lots to pick their lineups now, though...

What's more, if they can only send you, me, and Alter with Master, that's not much of a dedication of resources to the problem.

Quit whining. It's apparently a pretty weird Singularity, and this is the best they can do under the circumstances.

Ugh, fine. Let's just get this taken care of so we can get back in time for a nice dinner.

And just so you know, I have standards for my receptions!

If I'm not enjoying the entertainment someone's providing, I have no problem running right up and whacking them upside the head with my sake cup!

Huh? What is it, Alter? Stop tugging on my cloak. You'll stretch it.

If it's more konpeitou you want, don't bother. That was my last one.

Aw, really? That's too bad. But I didn't tug on your cloak.

Then was it you, Okita?

Just 'cause I'm the best daimyo ever doesn't mean you should start acting cute. It doesn't suit you at all.

What? Ew.

Okay, then whoever it was, knock it the hell off! Fujimaru!? Was it you!?

If you're trying to get my attention by acting childish, don't bother! I only tolerate that from Ranmaru!

Well then, who's

Huh? I don't know. I guess I just wanted you to remember how charming the original moe Warring States daimyo could be.

？！

I said, knock it off!!!

Eep!

...

Who the hell are yooou!?

...Agh.

A child? Their body, it's

Stop that, Demon King of the whatever it is. Can't you see they're scared? It's okay, kid. Are you hungry?

...Yeah, but that's not it.

Follow me.

I already told you to quit with the tugging!

Hang on. I just realized this child is injured! Master!

Okay!

Just get them off of me! I can't move like this!

？！

Here, I'll carry you.

...Ulp.

Huh? C-c'mon. Don't be scared. The kids back in Mibu all loved me.

I'll give you a piggyback ride. Come on.

...Umm.

...! ...You smell good, lady. I like you.

There we go. Okay, you just leave everything to Ms. Majin.

W-wait... Kids like my Alter more than me!?

Is it how much longer her hair AND sword are!?

That way. Hurry.

I still don't like this, but okay, let's go!

Aw man, now my cloak's all flappy.

I'm going to run now. Hang on tight.

'Kay!

I know I'm rusty after such a long time of nothing but desk work, but this is still pathetic.

This is all you will ever amount to, Iyo. You never had a prayer of defeating me.

With Himiko gone, you're no more than a figurehead.

Ouch. Going right for the throat, huh?

So what, though? You may be right, but I'm still not letting you get past me!

Still as foolish as ever, I see.

I hope that child made it to safety... Right now, I should probably be more worried about myself, though.

It's over, shrine maiden of ruin. I'll end you myself.

Huh!?

Huh? Missed? Damn. You know, I never was much good at sniping, even as an Archer.

Eh, if I keep firing, I'll hit him. That's the whole point of the Three Line Formation.

All right, let's do this! Behold the Demon King's Three Li

Ow!

Hold on. Is that lady over there a friend of yours?

Yeah. Please, help her.

Okay, I'll go on ahead. Would you watch this child, Master?

？！

Okay! Time to fly!

I'm coming too!

Huh!? Alter Me, wait!

Uh-oh. It's too late.

Master, that child's still clinging to Alter Me! Come on, Nobbu, we've gotta go, too!

Dammit! How am I supposed to blast that guy with the kid in the way!?

Ugh, fine. Come on, Master!

Are you okay, stranger? And how about you, kid on my back?

That was really, reeeally fast, but, yeah, I'm okay.

Good. You're so brave.

You!? I just helped you escape! Why did you come back?

'Cause I had to help you, Iyo.

...!

Thank you.

And you're the one from back then.

I'm just a passing majin. I don't know you, but I'm here to save you.

This is becoming a lot more trouble.

Let's go!

...Your sword feels kind of weird. And in a really, really bad way.

Oho. You have good instincts.

We're here! Wait. The hell kind of woofman are you fighting!?

Woofman? I think you mean...

No, wait. He IS a woofman, isn't he?

You...

Go on and play with these Servants, boys. I'm going to kill Iyo.

Yes, sir!

Iyo? Where have I heard that name before...?

Hello, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. Thank you again for your help back then.

That voice... Now I remember! I didn't know you had a body.

GRAAAHHH!!!

I'll explain later. But would you mind dealing with those things first!?

Understood! Come on, Alter Me, let's get rid of them, double quick!

On it, Normal Me!

You know, for anyone else, getting attacked by beastmen would probably be a pretty big deal.

Kind of crazy what you get used to after a little time at Chaldea.

？！

Please be careful, everyone! Those aren't ordinary beastmen! Whatever you do, try not to touch that muck covering them!

Yeah, I'm getting a bad feeling from that stuff, too. Plus, it looks like it'd be really hard to wash off.

You really are strong. So you did not defeat the Ominous Gods by luck alone.

(Huff, huff...)

Are you okay, Iyo?

...We took a little too long. Fall back for now.

You really think we'll just let you walk away?

Good point. Let's try this then.

We'll break through the weakest link in your forces.

Hrgh!?

Not on my watch!

A willingness to sacrifice yourself to protect your ally, hm? As I thought. Your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness.

Okita! He's not going after Iyo!

Raaaaaah!

Agh!

He had a beastman hiding out behind the kid!?

Graaaaaah!

Glad I made it in time. Are you okay?

Oh no! Lady, your hand!

What, this? This is nothing. I'll be fine.

So, you anticipated my ambush. I ought to expect as much from a future general.

Time's up. Until we meet again.

That guy sure knows just the right time to retreat. Doesn't fixate on his losses, either.

Thanks, Nobbu and Alter Me. You two were a big help. How about you, Master? Are you okay?

Iyo!

I'm glad you're all right. Please, don't worry about me. I'm fine.

What's wrong, Iyo? Are you okay?

Hey! What'd I say about tugging!?

But, uh, she doesn't look too good. Is there somewhere we could let her rest?

...

...

Hey, Alter. What the hell're you eating?

Hm? Dumplings. I got hungry after that battle.

They were really yummy, too. Yummy dumplings.

In what way does this seem like snack time!?

Wait, wait, wait. Where did you even GET those? Didn't Chacha say she only packed you a banana for a snack?

I bought them from that vending machine. With my allowance.

That vending... Wait. Is that a thatched hut?

Like an old-fashioned teahouse?

？！

Okay, but what's up with the vending machines? Doesn't quite fit the aesthetic.

Actually, what's a teahouse even doing here?

And don't just shout "Singularity" at me! That doesn't actually explain a thing!

Still, there's no denying that it'll come in handy, not while we've got an injured person and all.

Hopefully we can rest up for a while there. Heeey. Is anyone here?

Guess not.

Welp, it can't be helped then. Let's just take advantage of it.

'Scuse me, coming in

Wh-what the heeeeeeeeell!?

She sounded like Da-Oka just now!

Uh-oh. Now the Demon Whosit has gone missing.

？！

What's going on? Is this some kind of trap or something?

Who cares!? Just save me already! Wah! What's with this muddy water!? I'm sinking!

Well, if it isn't Lady Nobunaga. I guess one truly never knows what turns fate may take.

Huh? Is someone there? Dammit, I can't see anything with all this mud. Whoever you are, just pull me out! Hurry!

My, my, you've certainly made a muddy mess of yourself, Lady Nobunaga.

How very like you to take something as simple as falling into the mud and turn it into such a spectacle.

...Be on your guard, Alter Me.

I will. Don't worry, I'll keep Master and this child safe.

Now, now, there's no call for such hostility.

Besides, I can see one of you is injured.

This is my teahouse. Why not come in and have a cup?

Tea? You're inviting us in for tea?

Who are you, and where did you come from?

Ah, of course. Forgive me. I am a merchant from Sakai.

My name is Sen-no-Rikyu.