Section 8: Wandjina and the Age when Nothing's Enough

I'm Wandjina!

And I'm Taisui Xingjun!

And we've decided to have all the Chaldeans try their luck in our castle!

We're going to make sure they have lots of fun!

But just waiting around for them to finish would be boring, so I got a great idea to fix that!

Oh? What is it?

We can have fun with them!

？！

Oh man, they even redecorated the interior. Actually, I do kind of like the glitzy new look...

Except for the creepy dolls!

They must be standing in for Demonic Beasts. All right, Grandpa Yagyu and I will take the front line, and

Hm? One moment, Lady Kriemhild.

Waha!

H-hello.

？！

Huh? Wait, we're not starting with the final boss, are we?

Chances like this don't come around every day, so we decided to come race you!

Standing around watching wouldn't be any fun.

Hey, this was all your idea in the first place.

So how should we do this race?

By running, of course! Isn't that what you do in a race?

So a footrace? Sounds like fun.

A footrace, huh. Hmm, looking at everyone here... Hey, Director?

Hm? Yes?

I'd like you to make the race's rules for us.

Why me!?

Because you seem like you'd come up with the fairest ones.

Hmm. A footrace, huh...

Okay, that just leaves this, and...

There. How's that look?

That's great! Thank you, Director!

Okay, these are the rules. Any objections?

Nope!

Fine with me. Seems like it should be fun. Ooh, this is so exciting.

Same here! So exciting!

All right, this is what we're going to try. Are you okay with it?

？！

Then let's get started! Is everyone ready? On your marks... Get set... Alea iacta est!

We wooon!

Yaaaaaay!

Damn. I guess we were a little too slow.

Hooray! We won!

Yeah! High five!

Aww, that was so close!

It's fine. I'll win the next one.

Oh, but this was still lots of fun. Thanks!

？！

Okay, see you guys at the next one!

Uh-huh. See you later.

So there's gonna be another one...

At least they're not getting in our way. ...Oh, that reminds me.

Master, could I speak with you for a moment?

？！

This is just a guess, but...

... ...

...Do you think you can do that?

？！

I see. Then I've said all I need to say.

Just make sure you do a good job.

What the...? Did these stairs take us to another world or something?

Kriemhild, would you lampshade this for us, please?

I'd do it myself, but I kind of need to go sulk now...

You should be ashamed of yourself, pushing that responsibility onto another, but all right.

That's a bit harsh. But you're going to do it anyway, huh?

I've heard of redecorating, but this is ridiculous!

You really did it. You're a hero.

When I say I will do something, I always see it through.

Ho ho ho. Wandjina and I will be your next opponents.

Hello! Let's have a good match!

？！

Right.

This match will be an intense death game the children at Chaldea taught me.

A death game, you say. Hmm.

？！

Nobody's going to die. Well, I guess that means this won't be a real death game then.

So it will be a deathless game.

Fine, whatever. Now, what are the rules?

Right.

This dreadful game is called Enemy Russian Roulette.

When you defeat an enemy here, you get a delicious treat.

But one of the treats will be dreadfully, incredibly spicy instead of sweet!

Oh?

Uh-oh. Her instincts took over.

So, are any of you willing to risk your taste buds in this dangerous ga

I'll do it.

Well, that was quick. Okay, Wandjina will be competing for our side.

I'll do my best! Oh, also, what's "spicy"?

You want to know what "spicy" means?

Well, as my old teacher used to say, spice...is life.

Wow. I didn't know it was so deep.

All right, let the horrifying deathless game...begin!

Now that's what I call spice♪

HOTHOTHOT! But FUNNN! But also HOTHOTHOT!

I want to try it, too.

？！

Absolutely.

As long as we have the right ingredients, we should be able to make it ourselves.

We just need Chaldea to give us the recipe.

I can't wait!

Just make mine mild, please. Really mild.

Thank you all for coming. I've been waiting for you.

？！

Never mind that now.

It's time for the final showdown. Come on, Taisui Xingjun.

Yeah! We're gonna have a good, clean fight! Are you two okay with that, Jina-Jina and other Jina-Jina?

I am if you are, me.

I am. Let's do this.

So this'll be the last contest. Let's all do our best, Master.

？！

(Oh, this is the last one. ...The last one?)

(Right. It had to end sometime. And that means...this is the end of the fun times, too.)

(We'll fight... I'll give them the Holy Grail... And then, it'll all be over.)

(I'll wake up from this dream, and go back to sleeping, like I usually do...forever?)

(Then, does this mean...I won't get to have fun with them anymore? That I'll never laugh or play or run around again?)

(I...don't think I like that...)

H-hey, time out! I don't think there's any way we can win with this lineup!

So that means I win! This is...

...great?

No, it's not great! We're not supposed to win here!

Quit being so strong!

B-but...how do I do that?

Hmm. Master, I believe we will need to take a different tack here.

A different tack?

Indeed. What say you, my fellow Chaldeans?

You make a good point.

Our analysis suggests you wouldn't have much of a shot in a direct confrontation.

And if you start fighting each other for real, you'll end up killing each other.

Hmm. What say you to that?

I...

I don't want that!

Me neither. Especially when we've got Wandjinas on both sides.

We're all friends now, right?

Friends... What a lovely word. It makes even betrayal sound beautiful.

You can only see the beauty in things once they've been broken. One of the Crypters said that.

Dumuzid, shut up.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so forthcoming. But don't you think having Altera tie me up like this is beautiful in its own right?

I certainly do not want to do anything we will later regret. But then, what CAN we do about this?

...

Now even the other Wandjina is trying to help them come up with a solution...

Honestly, it's great to see this playing out so peacefully.

Wouldn't it be nice to get a Holy Grail through diplomacy for a change?

Well, yes. Fair point. But it won't do us much good if we can't come up with a decent idea as to how.

Let's see if we can't come up with anything ourselves.

Hmm.

Just a moment. What is it Wandjina wants, anyway?

From what she's said so far, it sounds like she just wants to enjoy herself.

Oh, but, I guess she's also gotten tired of being alone.

So, she wants to interact with as many other people as she can. But, if she stays in the Singularity to do that...

Yeah. That would be a big problem.

... ...

What is it, Goredolf?

Gordy?

Yeah, what's with you, old man? You eat something you dropped on the floor and get a stomachache or something?

No, it's not that, Chowder. I'm just coming to terms with a decision I really, really didn't want to make.

...Get Fujimaru on the line for me.

Ahem. Fujimaru, may I have a word?

？！

Wandjina, if there was a place in this world where you could have the most fun ever, filled with people you could have fun with (setting aside a few exceptions)...

...would you want to go there?

Yes!!!

Right. Of course. ...All right. Reluctant though I am to say this...

...show her to our home, Fujimaru.

Our home? You don't mean...!?

Huh?