Save Amazones.com!

At last!!!

We have arrived!!!

What's that sound? ...Wait. Is that

(Huff... Huff...)

One thousand nine hundred ninety-eight, one thousand nine hundred ninety-nine...two thousand! Phew, this is tough! And we still have to do ten more sets of morning star swings!

Whoa, I actually felt the dopamine kick in just now. Ahh, I love working out.

That's them. My employees! So they WERE here!

And it looks like the woman over there training them is... Yup. Just like I thought.

No resting! No talking! No laughing!

A warrior has no need for such things. What a warrior needs is the indomitable spirit to keep moving her body, no matter what the circumstances.

Failure to do so will assuredly result in your death. Do you want to live? Then keep moving!

Y-yes, ma'am!

Hold it right there!

Is that...the CEO!?

Ms. CEO! You finally came for us!

So...you're here.

Huh? You look just like me... I see. You must be me from this galaxy.

Silence! I am not you! You and I are nothing alike!

Ulp... Her rage is off the charts.

Sure is. And I'm betting that rage is where this all started.

Penthesilea, would you mind telling us why you did all this?

You mean you don't know? ...Oh, very well. I suppose that imposter there at least has the right to know what she has done before I obliterate her with my morning star.

Me, an imposter!? How dare you! I am the one and only Super CEO in this entire galaxy!

？！

I had heard the rumors of another version of myself who went about delivering packages, but I never gave her much thought at the time.

I am well aware that Servants are vague and ill-defined beings.

It is not unheard of for the same hero to materialize as something entirely different if they should end up in a different class.

So when I first heard there was another version of myself, I thought nothing more of it.

At the time, I thought it beneath my notice.

But then, one day, while I was out on my daily run...

Hm? Is that...?

Delivery from Amazones.com.

Ahh, wonderful. I've been counting the hours until your arrival.

I do apologize for making you go so far out of your way.

I can't make purchases like this back at Chaldea, you see, thanks to a certain nosy detective who's always on my case.

Really, I don't know what he's so concerned about. The most one could do with a...curiosity like this is play an amusing prank.

No need to apologize, sir. This is why Amazones.com offers express shipping anywhere in the galaxy.

Now, if you would sign here, please.

Yes, of course.

Ahh, I never thought it would be so quick and easy to procure all the items I need for a crimahem, harmless prank I came up with on a lark. It seems there truly are all kinds in the Servantverse.

I daresay this Premium membership has been worth its weight in gold! Thank you!

Not at all, sir. We look forward to your next order.

At first, I took no interest whatsoever. I just wrote it off as another unusual event.

It was only then that I noticed someone else had also been watching the interaction from a distance.

Whoa, so that's the delivery lady people've been talking about. She looks just like Penthesilea, doesn't she, Lord Apollo?

Yeah, but, well... I like her!

There's just something cool about working women... It makes them really pretty, too!

...!!!

？！

Yup. He does have a knack for this kind of thing, unfortunately.

So there is your reason.

If you are me, even if you are not strictly me...

...you must never, ever do anything that would result in others calling us "beautiful" or "pretty"!

So if you are, then you have fundamentally deviated from how you and I are supposed to be.

(Is that how that works? I guess this is just how Berserkers think.)

That must mean this mail-order business you are indulging in is wrong. I cannot allow it to continue.

I realized you needed to remember your true way of life; to regain your warrior ambitions.

Is that why you abducted my employees? Because they were the first obstacle in your way to reaching me?

I am their queen.

I have a duty to Amazons everywhere to help them stay on the right path if they should start to stray, even if they are from a different galaxy.

That is why I built this Temple of Artemis. It is the perfect place to retrain them.

It is patterned after the godly domicile our mother, founder of the Temple of Artemis, built in our homeland.

I figured as much.

？！

The original Temple of Artemis is best known as one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Putting aside the fact that barely any pieces of it still exist today, of course.

And as Penthesilea alluded to, one of its legends was that the Amazons built it.

That said, I have no idea if the ruins we know of in Turkey used to be the same temple she's talking about or not.

Honestly, I have a hard time believing it was originally built to be this high.

I mean, I do get the feeling there've been pictures and prose depicting the Temple of Artemis as stretching up to the clouds, but still!

Hmm. To be honest, I don't remember the temple my mother built very clearly.

So I based this one loosely off my impression of it, and added in a helping of my own original ideas.

Still, this is what I ended up with when I stood before a Holy Grail I found and thought about how I wished for it to be a strong and powerful symbol of we Amazons.

So I am sure it is mostly faithful to the original. More or less.

At any rate, the Amazons' retraining is coming along nicely.

There were many complaints at first, but by now, most of them have regained their Amazonian sense of purpose.

What was that?

Wait, Ms. CEO! It's not like that!

We're still proud employees of Amazones.com! We DO get that, but...

We've been put through workout after workout! Our muscles are so overloaded all the time they feel like they're going to burst!

It's hard. Harder than anything I could've ever imagined. But then, when all seems to be at its darkest

You get an exhaustion high that makes you euphoric! Enough to make us think "You know, maybe this isn't so bad!"

Really, when you think about it rationally, why WERE we spending our time making deliveries?

Sure, we might've gotten magical energy to keep us full, but it's not like we were earning much money.

Maybe there's something to be said for working out to live and living to work out, too...

Stop that! Snap out of it! That's just the brainwashing speaking!

？！

Fou, fou fou.

Grr, never mind that now! You have a very twisted sense of Servant resource management, getting your hooks into all of my employees like this.

Regardless, my real target was always you, other me.

My first goal was to teach you just how foolish this folly of yours truly is.

Folly? You think this is folly?

We Amazons are a tribe of warriors. Forget trivial online shopping services.

I asked Hektor to help me in my quest even as I expected him to refuse, but to my surprise, he accepted, nodding pleasantly with a strained expression on his face.

？！

Well, either way, I did agree to go along with it.

The first plan was simple. I figured you would regain your old instincts if your company were to go under.

So after I had secured your employees, I leaked information about their disappearance to those who bore you a grudge.

So you had us dancing in the palm of your hand, did you? I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

But I failed to foresee Chaldea...or rather, Master, lending you aid.

So I formed a second plan: lure you to this temple and obstruct your way with physical obstacles...

...in order to make you remember your warrior spirit.

...

But unfortunately, it would seem that plan was a failure as well.

So you leave me no choice. I will simply have to end you myself.

Any self of mine who has forgotten her warrior's pride and allowed herself to be degraded as "beautiful" is a self who should never be allowed to exist.

That holds true regardless of where, or in which, galaxy she may be.

...I see. It seems we have a misunderstanding.

What?

You think I've forgotten my warrior's pride? Hehe. Hahahaha...

What a joke!

Iwe, are just as proud warriors as we have ever been!

And at this point, my trustworthy companions here can tell you why that is just as well as I can, now that they have walked the same path as me.

His objective perspective will soon put an end to your preposterous proposition.

？！

Exactly!

Overseeing, managing, and facilitating a company is anything but straightforward. There is not one thing in the world of business that can be resolved by something as simple as two sets of muscles clashing.

We Amazons put our lives on the line every day we go to work. If we fail to follow our vision statement and claim victory in economic warfare, our kind will fall to ruin.

All the more so if you have a responsible sister with such great integrity and earnestness that it actually puts her in danger...

...or a challenging sister who is physically strong but mentally weak!

You have no idea what sort of battles I need to fight as CEO, and you underestimate them at your peril!

I'm not entirely sure what it is you're talking about...

...but I can see now that you do indeed have a warrior's resolve.

In that case, there is nothing left to say.

All that remains now is to use more... traditional Amazonian methods of communication.

I trust you know what I mean?

Of course. From here on, I will let my CEO Morning Star do all the talking!

What kind of ridiculous name is that? That is just one more reason why you and I will never see eye to eye!

I've heard of family quarrels between parents and children, or between siblings before, but I'm not sure if that term applies in a fight between two versions of the same person.

Anyway, this is a pretty fundamental point of contention, so I doubt we can resolve it easily...

...but we can't just sit back and let them kill each other before we try.

Do whatever you can to stop them, Fujimaru!

At last!!!

We have arrived!!!

What's that sound? ...Wait. Is that

(Huff... Huff...)

One thousand nine hundred ninety-eight, one thousand nine hundred ninety-nine...two thousand! Phew, this is tough! And we still have to do ten more sets of morning star swings!

Whoa, I actually felt the dopamine kick in just now. Ahh, I love working out.

That's them. My employees! So they WERE here!

And it looks like the woman over there training them is... Yup. Just like I thought.

No resting! No talking! No laughing!

A warrior has no need for such things. What a warrior needs is the indomitable spirit to keep moving her body, no matter what the circumstances.

Failure to do so will assuredly result in your death. Do you want to live? Then keep moving!

Y-yes, ma'am!

Hold it right there!

Is that...the CEO!?

Ms. CEO! You finally came for us!

So...you're here.

Huh? You look just like me... I see. You must be me from this galaxy.

Silence! I am not you! You and I are nothing alike!

Ulp... Her rage is off the charts.

Sure is. And I'm betting that rage is where this all started.

Penthesilea, would you mind telling us why you did all this?

You mean you don't know? ...Oh, very well. I suppose that imposter there at least has the right to know what she has done before I obliterate her with my morning star.

Me, an imposter!? How dare you! I am the one and only Super CEO in this entire galaxy!

？！

I had heard the rumors of another version of myself who went about delivering packages, but I never gave her much thought at the time.

I am well aware that Servants are vague and ill-defined beings.

It is not unheard of for the same hero to materialize as something entirely different if they should end up in a different class.

So when I first heard there was another version of myself, I thought nothing more of it.

At the time, I thought it beneath my notice.

But then, one day, while I was out on my daily run...

Hm? Is that...?

Delivery from Amazones.com.

Ahh, wonderful. I've been counting the hours until your arrival.

I do apologize for making you go so far out of your way.

I can't make purchases like this back at Chaldea, you see, thanks to a certain nosy detective who's always on my case.

Really, I don't know what he's so concerned about. The most one could do with a...curiosity like this is play an amusing prank.

No need to apologize, sir. This is why Amazones.com offers express shipping anywhere in the galaxy.

Now, if you would sign here, please.

Yes, of course.

Ahh, I never thought it would be so quick and easy to procure all the items I need for a crimahem, harmless prank I came up with on a lark. It seems there truly are all kinds in the Servantverse.

I daresay this Premium membership has been worth its weight in gold! Thank you!

Not at all, sir. We look forward to your next order.

At first, I took no interest whatsoever. I just wrote it off as another unusual event.

It was only then that I noticed someone else had also been watching the interaction from a distance.

Whoa, so that's the delivery lady people've been talking about. She looks just like Penthesilea, doesn't she, Lord Apollo?

Yeah, but, well... I like her!

There's just something cool about working women... It makes them really pretty, too!

...!!!

？！

Yup. He does have a knack for this kind of thing, unfortunately.

So there is your reason.

If you are me, even if you are not strictly me...

...you must never, ever do anything that would result in others calling us "beautiful" or "pretty"!

So if you are, then you have fundamentally deviated from how you and I are supposed to be.

(Is that how that works? I guess this is just how Berserkers think.)

That must mean this mail-order business you are indulging in is wrong. I cannot allow it to continue.

I realized you needed to remember your true way of life; to regain your warrior ambitions.

Is that why you abducted my employees? Because they were the first obstacle in your way to reaching me?

I am their queen.

I have a duty to Amazons everywhere to help them stay on the right path if they should start to stray, even if they are from a different galaxy.

That is why I built this Temple of Artemis. It is the perfect place to retrain them.

It is patterned after the godly domicile our mother, founder of the Temple of Artemis, built in our homeland.

I figured as much.

？！

The original Temple of Artemis is best known as one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Putting aside the fact that barely any pieces of it still exist today, of course.

And as Penthesilea alluded to, one of its legends was that the Amazons built it.

That said, I have no idea if the ruins we know of in Turkey used to be the same temple she's talking about or not.

Honestly, I have a hard time believing it was originally built to be this high.

I mean, I do get the feeling there've been pictures and prose depicting the Temple of Artemis as stretching up to the clouds, but still!

Hmm. To be honest, I don't remember the temple my mother built very clearly.

So I based this one loosely off my impression of it, and added in a helping of my own original ideas.

Still, this is what I ended up with when I stood before a Holy Grail I found and thought about how I wished for it to be a strong and powerful symbol of we Amazons.

So I am sure it is mostly faithful to the original. More or less.

At any rate, the Amazons' retraining is coming along nicely.

There were many complaints at first, but by now, most of them have regained their Amazonian sense of purpose.

What was that?

Wait, Ms. CEO! It's not like that!

We're still proud employees of Amazones.com! We DO get that, but...

We've been put through workout after workout! Our muscles are so overloaded all the time they feel like they're going to burst!

It's hard. Harder than anything I could've ever imagined. But then, when all seems to be at its darkest

You get an exhaustion high that makes you euphoric! Enough to make us think "You know, maybe this isn't so bad!"

Really, when you think about it rationally, why WERE we spending our time making deliveries?

Sure, we might've gotten magical energy to keep us full, but it's not like we were earning much money.

Maybe there's something to be said for working out to live and living to work out, too...

Stop that! Snap out of it! That's just the brainwashing speaking!

？！

Fou, fou fou.

Grr, never mind that now! You have a very twisted sense of Servant resource management, getting your hooks into all of my employees like this.

Regardless, my real target was always you, other me.

My first goal was to teach you just how foolish this folly of yours truly is.

Folly? You think this is folly?

We Amazons are a tribe of warriors. Forget trivial online shopping services.

I asked Hektor to help me in my quest even as I expected him to refuse, but to my surprise, he accepted, nodding pleasantly with a strained expression on his face.

？！

Well, either way, I did agree to go along with it.

The first plan was simple. I figured you would regain your old instincts if your company were to go under.

So after I had secured your employees, I leaked information about their disappearance to those who bore you a grudge.

So you had us dancing in the palm of your hand, did you? I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

But I failed to foresee Chaldea...or rather, Master, lending you aid.

So I formed a second plan: lure you to this temple and obstruct your way with physical obstacles...

...in order to make you remember your warrior spirit.

...

But unfortunately, it would seem that plan was a failure as well.

So you leave me no choice. I will simply have to end you myself.

Any self of mine who has forgotten her warrior's pride and allowed herself to be degraded as "beautiful" is a self who should never be allowed to exist.

That holds true regardless of where, or in which, galaxy she may be.

...I see. It seems we have a misunderstanding.

What?

You think I've forgotten my warrior's pride? Hehe. Hahahaha...

What a joke!

Iwe, are just as proud warriors as we have ever been!

And at this point, my trustworthy companions here can tell you why that is just as well as I can, now that they have walked the same path as me.

His objective perspective will soon put an end to your preposterous proposition.

？！

Exactly!

Overseeing, managing, and facilitating a company is anything but straightforward. There is not one thing in the world of business that can be resolved by something as simple as two sets of muscles clashing.

We Amazons put our lives on the line every day we go to work. If we fail to follow our vision statement and claim victory in economic warfare, our kind will fall to ruin.

All the more so if you have a responsible sister with such great integrity and earnestness that it actually puts her in danger...

...or a challenging sister who is physically strong but mentally weak!

You have no idea what sort of battles I need to fight as CEO, and you underestimate them at your peril!

I'm not entirely sure what it is you're talking about...

...but I can see now that you do indeed have a warrior's resolve.

In that case, there is nothing left to say.

All that remains now is to use more... traditional Amazonian methods of communication.

I trust you know what I mean?

Of course. From here on, I will let my CEO Morning Star do all the talking!

What kind of ridiculous name is that? That is just one more reason why you and I will never see eye to eye!

I've heard of family quarrels between parents and children, or between siblings before, but I'm not sure if that term applies in a fight between two versions of the same person.

Anyway, this is a pretty fundamental point of contention, so I doubt we can resolve it easily...

...but we can't just sit back and let them kill each other before we try.

Do whatever you can to stop them, Fujimaru!

(Zzz...) That's too many of you...Lord Apollo... Now the world's covered in one third ocean, two thirds you...

Sounds like he's having a hell of a nasty dream.

From the looks of it, it would seem you were really put through the wringer, so to speak. Is that seat taken?

Oh, it's you. Not at all. Go for it.

Thank you. ...Now then, I think we'd best have a little talk.

Whup. I had a feeling this might be coming.

Indeed. For those of my ilk, knowledge is worth far more than money. Besides, it's about time you told me, anyway.

Why did you have me make that suggestion?

...Because I owe Penthesilea a huge debt.

When it comes to things like which of us made a bigger mark in history, or the fact that both of us ended up losing our lives to you-know-who...

...I honestly don't care all that much.

And that golem I made is going to help you repay your debt to her?

Probably. At least, I think so.

But I do know he's a part of her, for better or worse. You can't disentangle them, no matter how much you try.

Hmm, I see.

And that's not the only reason. When you get right down to it...

...I just don't want to pass up any chance I can get to make his life a living hell.

Oho. That is quite the additional reason.

I mean, if I don't, we might well end up fighting each other to the death again sometime!

Good grief. It seems the old warrior's disposition can be a real burden sometimes.

(Huff, huff)... Hahahaha! I never thought fighting myself could be so fulfilling!

Phew... Hehehe! This has turned out to be a much more exhilarating proposition than I had envisioned!

Man, talk about birds of a feather. Not that that's any surprise, of course.

Good. Good! This sort of elation is exactly what we should strive for. I feel more heightened than ever before.

My muscles, my battle sense... Even my five normal senses.

Same here. My five senses are...are...

Hm? What's that...smell...?

...? ...!?

Wh-what's going on? They've both stopped fighting, and they now appear to be frantically searching for something...

Look, there's something hiding behind that pillar over there. Is that...?

？！

A-ah, aaaaAAAhhh! You. You! It's YOU!!!

He's here. I can smell him! All the more so now that my senses are so heightened!

It's you, isn't it!? Achilleeeeees!!!

Fooou!?

Achilles was inside the golem!?

Aw, crap. Can't believe they found me even with Avicebron's work covering me up!

Guess it just goes to show how sharp their instincts are right now.

Yikes! Man, dealing with two demigod-class Berserkers at once is rough. Especially when they don't even care whether they get injured or not!

Hmm. Yeah, I don't like my chances against them. Better get while the getting's good.

Stop... Get back here!

AA, AAA, Achilleees! I don't care what happens to me, but YOU will be going nowhere!

Stop! Don't go after him!

Achilles will be okay thanks to his chariot, but if you two jump from here, not even the fact that you're Servants will save you!

You really think they're gonna listen to reason now?

...I haven't accompanied you all the way to this final delivery just on a whim.

I accompanied you because, as your first nonoutsourcing partner company, and as one who decided to follow the next generation of Amazones.com wherever it goes...

...I thought it was my duty to see this through to the end.

You see, I, too, have come to believe in Amazones.com's future.

And I won't have it ending here like this.

Don't worry, I know just what to do. Hyaaah!

I'm sure you won't be willing to listen to reason now that you've gone so berserk...

...but I'm certain my cosmic beauty will be something you'll never forget!

Huh...!?

Now! Now, where were they? ...There! Those cardboard boxes!

On it! A little origami to send them on their way, and... There!

...

It looks like putting those cardboard boxes on their heads got them to stop...

It's just like reducing a pet's field of vision to get them to calm down.

Still, I doubt that'll hold them for long.

Mind saying something to them, Fujimaru?

？！

We...won...?

...

Phew. About time they finally settled down...

No... This was no victory. He got away. We failed to finish him off, even fighting him together.

I am in no way satisfied with these results. But, that said... It is a fact that we managed to surpass him just now.

Thanks to that, I think I have gained a new insight.

？！

If two of me together were able to beat him...

...that means I can beat him myself as long as I become twice as strong as I am now!

And in that case, my task is clear. All I need to do is train twice as much as I have so far. Then... Hehehe!

Right you are, my self from a different galaxy. Those are the same calculations I arrived at as well.

I now have a wonderful new directive on which to focus my synergies.

You know, I never paid it much mind before...but I take it you also have your reasons for needing to end him?

Of course I do. Though I can't say what they are, as even just remembering them Amazonates my brain.

I'm sorry, Amazonates...?

？！

At any rate, the fact remains that he is my mortal enemy.

In fact, it would be no exaggeration to say that I founded Amazones.com for the sole purpose of killing him.

I see. If there are strengths that can only be acquired through business, it stands to reason there are enemies who can only be killed through business.

Exactly!

That does make sense... Very well, my other self. I now understand that you are indeed me.

All that matters is that you live to kill him, just as I do. Any other differences we may have are trivial.

I am glad you understand. It would seem you are just as much a CEO as I am!

Now they're firmly shaking hands! It looks like they've come to an understanding!

Fou. Fooou?

There's some parts of their reconciliation that still don't make sense to other people like me, but I suppose the important thing is that they have in fact reconciled.

That said...there is still one issue that has yet to be resolved.

Wh-what do we do now?

We're still Amazones.com employees. It's an indelible part of our souls.

At this point, we could do our delivery jobs in our sleep. That much will never change...

But we've also seen there's more to life than just work!

It's true! We realize now that there's a lot to be said for foregoing deliveries and just working out all the time!

And that Amazones.com didn't always treat its employees super well!

Wait. I understand your hesitations.

All I ask is that you hear me out for just a moment.

Ms. CEO?

It was a lot of hard work to come this far. Especially since I was the only one around to do it.

If I had not been fortunate enough to run into Chaldea, and been willing to bend my principles to sign my first outsourcing contract with them, I would never have made it here.

No, not only them. I must also thank the other companies I have formed partnerships with, like the Madam's there.

Indeed, the only reason I managed to overcome this tremendous challenge was because of their help.

So I have decided to change my thinking in regards to my next-generation initiatives.

I see now that change is not to be feared, and that flexibility is the key to seizing profits.

I have learned that I need to innovate the fundamentals of my labor system, not only my approach to outsourcing.

S-so what are you saying?

To put it simply, I have matured into a CEO who understands how people feel!

I promise you that from now on, Amazones.com will strive to pay its employees more magical energy than ever!

I also vow to double your bonuses and your number of paid days off!

Wha

However, the choice to come back to work remains yours. What do you say?

When can we start!?

This is like a dream come true! Wait, I'm not actually dreaming, am I?

I've heard of this paid vacation. It's when you not only don't have to work, but you also get, you know, paid!

Now that you mention it, I think I heard about things like that before I joined Amazones.com, too.

I forgot all about them thanks to all the fun I was having running around and getting into fights on my deliveries.

No way! Is that really legal!? You sure the Galactic Police aren't gonna throw us in the galactic slammer!?

Yeaaah! Aaamaaazoooneees! Aaamaaazoooneees! (Company anthem)

I guess the idea of taking paid vacation never occurred to them before, since their leisure time was always just used for work...

Fou...

A-anyway, once they return to their jobs at Amazones.com, that should wrap up this latest case nicely, right?

I think it's wonderful that they'll get to be paid more and to take vacations!

Hehe... Companies who face a little existential crisis like this tend to bounce back stronger than before.

This could end up making Amazones.com into an even bigger monster than it was before.

Speaking as a rival CEO, I look forward to seeing where you go from here, and to continue our beau

I mean, high BP working relationship, so that we may both reap the benefits for years to come. Ohohohoho! Cosmic!

Well, Master, it looks like you did it again. Congratulations on a job well done!

I'm sure the last thing you need right now is to go back to your regular duties...

...so why don't you head back to the relaxation facilities for the time being?