Section 6: A Dreamlike Moment

No, probably not.

...Would you like one last thing to eat before we go?

Okay. In that case, we might as well clean the place up a bit.

...Hm? I think I hear the Servants calling me.

Hang on, I'll be right back.

Okay, just sit tight. I'll be back with some food soon.

？！

？！

Whooo's ready for a picnic!?

Not a damn picnic!

Aw, crap. He's stronger than he looks...!

？！

RiderAstolfo said he wanted to have a picnic in the courtyard.

That it was worth celebrating so many Servants getting together like this, even if we're still missing three.

What I REALLY said was, "What's the harm? You ARE hungry, right? Come on, let's do it!"

And the rest is history.

What...No it isn't! What are you talking about!?

Ugh!

Right!?

Hey! Don't you go turning Fran against me!

Ugh, ugh!

...Well... Here we all are, out in the courtyard, having sandwiches together...

Having everyone here together is...a bit of a surprise, really.

？！

Hey, gimme that one. I'm not eating any of that egg salad shit! I want some MEAT!

But you're eating it already! AND you tried to steal my sandwich without even asking!

Uh, uh♪

Sandwiches...trap meat and other food... Does this mean...bread is an oppressor...?

Even if it were, you can't just eat the sandwich's insides. Then you'd be oppressing the bread.

Hmm. Strawberry custard...

This is very sweet. Children would love this.

Mmm, yummy!

As I thought.

Strawberries taste like blood! Both're really sweet!

I, um...do not think that is true...? In fact, they are...ah...really quite different.

You sure?

Hmm. These would make perfect battlefield rations.

You can eat them in one bite, and they provide excellent, balanced nutrition.

...Not that we require nutrition as Servants, but old habits die hard.

Nothing wrong with thinking that way!

My king never batted an eye at whatever she ate, no matter how bad it tasted.

It was like she didn't care one damn bit about flavor, just the nutrients! I'll take your approach over cold efficiency any day!

My father?

That inhuman old fool? Hah! Gimme a break!

If she turns out to be a gourmand, then I'll eat every one of Gawain's "dishes" myself!

Hell no.

It didn't matter HOW good the food was! She'd always just give that same disinterested, "Mmm..."

If she actually did give a shit about food, I'll eat every one of Gawain's mashed "specials" myself!

？！

(Ooh, I think I just heard a branch opening up!)

... ...

...Mmm. These came out rather well, if I do say so myself.

？！

I did, yes, though Sieg was kind enough to procure the ingredients for me.

I could never make something this good on my own.

...Dammit, these ARE good. Ugh, is there anything this guy CAN'T do?

Hell no there isn't. My teacher's not a great sage for nothing!

...Can he hold a crucifix for an hour straight?

You bet. He can do one-finger push-ups without breaking a sweat, too.

Can he shoot an apple off the head of an evil chancellor?

In his sleep. He could shoot the chancellor too, while he was at it.

Can he shoot vacuum blades just by cracking his knuckles?

Easily. They'll go through anything like a hot knife through butter.

How long can he hold his breath while still acting at full strength?

As long as it takes for his opponent to keel over!

Is he a mommy?

Raising kids is what he does best!

Ugh? (Can he come back to life with lightning?)

I'm not sure, but I bet he'd find a way!

...You really mustn't go around making such outlandish claims, Achilles. Though I suppose it bears mentioning that I could indeed manage some of those.

Oh, you can, huh... Well, you certainly look like you could.

I admit that I can do most things better than the average person, but I cannot be the best.

I could not win against Achilles or Atalante in a footrace, nor could I defeat Spartacus in a contest of strength.

Indeed, I doubt I could defeat any of you in the areas of your respective specialties.

Archery may be my specialty, but even there I could never defeat, say, the likes of Arash Kamangir, who split the earth itself.

I am a teacher, not a hero. I am not meant to stand above others.

In that sense, Achilles is not my only pupil here.

Sir Sieg, Sir Fujimaru.

I consider both of you to be my pupils as well.

I only wish we had more time together. There are so many other things I wish I could teach you...

Hahaha, I'll have to think about that.

Oho. Mash Kyrielight, hm?

I see, I see. It sounds like I already have quite the formidable rival teacher.

？！

At any rate, if we are ever summoned to Chaldea, it will be as our true selves.

I expect, should that come to pass, that I will have learned all manner of new things, and may even be able to teach you more as well.

Are you freakin' kidding me with this shit?

There's no point continuing to study and stuff once you're a Servant, right?

...Not the way I see it.

After all, I know someone who kept learning even after they became a Servant.

Oh really? Who?

...I'm afraid I can't tell you. I wasn't actually there, you see.

But I do know that hero never stopped moving forward. That much, I can say for absolute certain.

...All right, it's going to be night soon.

I hate to say it, but it's time to bring this picnic to a close.

？！

Of course. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I guess it's three minutes until we storm the gardens. Is everyone ready!?

No issues here.

...This outfit seems a bit...much, no? It feels more like a swimsuit than a suit of armor.

Personally, I much prefer my normal attire...

I think you look great! I don't see a problem at all!

I was not asking you. ...Still, I suppose I can make do, since it allows me to fly.

Wahahahaha! I wish someone could take a picture of this!

Indeed. ...How you doing there, Hippogriff? I hope I'm not too heavy for you.

He says you're very heavy.

That figures!

Man, looking at this thing up close, it's absurdly freaking large!

We'll soon be entering the garden's firing range. Everyone, make sure to evade or block the Tiamtum Ūmu like your life depends on it!

All right, now seems a good time to make my golem shield. My body is a red shield...Gevurah Armadura!

Hippogriff...dimension evade!

All right, we'd better

Oh, I just had a revelation.

Oh? Who was that...?

Xanthos. What do you want?

？！

Ah yes, that is Xanthos. One of the divine steeds that Poseidon himself gave to Achilles.

I believe it is also the only one of the three that can talk.

I was just thinking.

How come you and Lord Chiron are the only ones not on the enemy side, Lord Achilles?

...Is that really important right now?

It is, yes.

All right then, let's hear it.

...I think you two must have been quite expensive.

That's not to say Lady Mordred, Lord Siegfried, and Lord Karna weren't expensive as well, of course.

What do you mean by expensive?

You know, like in a strategy game.

In games like that, it is very expensive to create powerful units.

First you have to work your way up the tech tree, and that takes a long time on its own.

And all this time, our opponent in this game, this Great Holy Grail War within the Greater Grail...

...has been laying the groundwork to produce the most powerful units possible.

No doubt whoever it is put in a lot of hard work. So, if this opponent is in the Hanging Gardens now...

...then of course, they'll be waiting for the right time to use their new units. This just occurred to me.

...Setting aside how you even know what a strategy game is...

...I must admit that is a strong possibility. In which case, our first move will have to be...

Achilles.

Y-yeah? What is it, Teacher?

I want you to neutralize the other side's Achilles. I'll do the same with their Chiron.

...Aw, c'mon, Teacher. Xanthos has a history of blowing smoke up your

...Okay, yep. That was me, all right...

It would seem he was right on the money.

Everyone? Your attention, if I may?

My Noble Phantasm has no telegraph or tell of any kind. If the enemy Chiron uses it on you, I'm afraid you'll just have to trust in your luck.

You may as well tell us to roll over and die! (↑ Luck rank: E)

Yeah. That is hardly encouraging advice.

My, my. At long last, the battle with all fourteen Servants will begin!

Though we yet lack the Assyrian empress AND the great hero of India!

To say nothing of the enemy having the Hanging Gardens to serve as their airborne fortress!

...Do we really have a hope of winning this?

You're the great writer! Figure something out!

...Their assault is relentless!

Hang on. Where the hell are Mordred and Fran!? Oh, and Spartacus, I guess.

All right then.

Uh?

Huh? You wanna know my plan to get us up there?

It's simple. I'm gonna blast up there with my Mana Burst.

Ugh?

Then there was no point in you staying behind? 'Course there was!

See, even with my Mana Burst, it's gonna be tough getting all the way up there myself.

But not with you here.

Ugh!?

You got it. Your Noble Phantasm's all about lightning too, right?

So if we both power each other up, then boom! We're in business!

Ugh...

Don't worry, it'll be fine! If we don't make it up there, all that'll happen is we'll crash right back down to the ground.

Uh...

Oh, right. Can't have this armor weighing me down.

There we go. Now, let's do this thing!

Uh...

One, two...THREE!

Hmm. So much for my shield.

... ...

It's Karna...!

We'll make some mist...!

He keeps blowing it away! This is why we hate really powerful Servants!

I suppose we have no choice but for me to take the field. Shakespeare, you will be the next sacrifice after the five seconds it takes him to kill me.

Wait!

I don't mind throwing my life away if there's no other choice, but we must have SOME alternative we have not yet tried before it comes to that!

Hmm. ...I suppose you're right.

Say, for instance if someone capable of saving us were to suddenly fall from the sky like a shooting star.

？！

...?

...Something just shot up, sent Karna flying, and smacked into the Hanging Gardens...didn't it...?

...I don't want to think too hard about it, but...I wonder if it might not have been Mordred and Fran...

...(Gasp!)

...Aw shit, close one. But also kinda awesome. For a second there, I saw Father's hand reaching out for me.

...That...was...awful...!

Hey, you actually talked!

So...reckless!

Hey, don't sweat it! What matters is that we made it here!

Woo! Yeah, time to SMASH! That oughta help all the other slowpokes catch up!

Uh... UhhhhhhAAAAAAHHH!!!

Whoa, hey! I didn't mean right this seconAh, dammit...

Eh, screw it. Might as well kick this party off with my Noble Phantasm!

...Clarent Blood Arthur!

That was reckless and ridiculous, but it was very helpful! Now's our chance to head inside the gardens.

I'll switch back to my terminal after we land.

？！

Without my soul inside it, it's basically an oversized monster costume.

It'd be kind of annoying if it were destroyed, but if it comes to that, I'll just make a new one!

Good, we made it. Now to switch back...!

...There we go. Now come on, let's hurry.

The Assassin of Red, Semiramis. The Lancer of Red, Karna.

And the Lancer of Black, Vlad III.

Since we have other Servants on our side, we'll have to defeat them, no matter what.

...It's possible these three are the ones seeking the Greater Grail.

？！

True, that would be very out of character, so it's probably not Karna.

If there's anyone who wants the Greater Grail more than anything...

...it would have to be that other man.

Hey, there they are. 'Sup, Custodian?

Uhhh...

So you're all right... How about you, Frankenstein? Are you okay?

Never...again. Ever.

(Wow! It was so bad it actually got her to speak...!)

Hey, just 'cause our opponents can think doesn't mean they can really THINK, right?

Best they can do is some normal, orthodox planning, y'know?

So I figured if we hit them with a reckless, batshit insane plan like mine, where one false step would get you killed, they'd HAVE to fall for it!

So you actually thought that far ahead...

Well it was, dammit!

Uh, uh! (Vigorous nod)

？！

Hey, we're up against that bitchy empress who owns these gardens, right?

Not really sure why, but that lady seriously pisses me off!

Besides, even if we'd been on the same team during the war, I bet we'd have been at each other's throats the entire time anyway!

(She's certainly got that right.)

All right, Master of Chaldea!

Just point us at whoever's face we need to smash in!