Six Days Until ServantFes

Well, now that that's taken care of, I'll get out of your hair for now☆ Enjoy your trip, everyone!

Hm? Why Luluhawa, you ask? Well, what would you call a mashup of Honolulu and Hawaii?

I did my best to give our little stage here a cute name, so a little recognition for that would be nice!

Oh no. What did she do to the Hawaiian Islands...!? Come on Master, let's get outside and see for ourselves!

...Well that's strange. Or rather...nothing is strange...

This is just how I always pictured Hawaii! Nothing seems the least bit out of place, Senpai!

So, this is Hawaii, huh. And here I thought all it would be is just a really hot island.

There's nice, warm sunlight...clean air...wide, spacious skies...!

Man, I had no idea these resort places were so nice, Fujimaru!

This place is perfect for making summer memories!

True... The ocean air here is brisk and refreshing...

The wind is nice and cool, while the sunlight is warm without being overbearing. It feels silly to even think about fighting here...

Indeed. This place feels like they could be having festivals every day. I wonder if the people who live here are distinguished Kyoto citizens?

...Are you guys nuts? Do you not realize what's going on?

Open your damn eyes and look, you morons! The islands of Oahu and Hawaii are jammed together!

Huh? How can you tell?

Look over there! Recognize Hawaii's Mauna Kea from the guidebook?

The Daniel K. Inouye International Airport is on Oahu! We shouldn't even be able to see Mauna Kea from here!

Oahu and Hawaii are over three hundred kilometers apart! It takes at least an hour to get there! By plane!

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I'm detecting the Singularity now too! The whole of the Hawaiian Islands has become a Singularity!

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...Th-then, does this mean...

...we haven't been able to contact Chaldea's Hawaiian office because we're in a Singularity now...?

Master, don't you think that's going a little too far, even for BB...!?

Nope. This is about the sort of thing she'd do.

She pretty much only acts on malice and a really twisted idea of good intentions.

Think...like taking a Halloween party and turning it into an actual hellscape.

So, she causes trouble by going too far...meaning she tries to be kind, but misses the mark so badly it leads to disaster?

Now I see... That reminds me of something my brother used to say: "Stick your nose out too far and it's liable to get cut off."

...Freakin' sue me, then. There was a buncha stuff I wanted to bookmark.

Not really. Just did my homework like any sensible tourist should.

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...Tch. Guess we don't have time to stand around gawking.

Mash. Robin. Ushiwakamaru. Ibaraki. ...We've got company.

Cluck cluck.

Huh? Hang on. Isn't that...a chicken?

Yes. Yes it is.

That's one of Hawaii's specialties. The "sort of chicken you find anywhere" chicken.

Now get your weapons ready!

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Cluck cluuuck!

That was...an exceptionally large chicken. I guess Hawaii is a good place to raise livestock.

Then again, maybe it's because of the Singularity...?

(...That was no ordinary chicken. It was wreathed in an evil aroma I've never smelled before. Hmm...)

Wait! There's another enemy here! We must have missed one!

You're not going anywhere! I'll cut your head off where you stand!

Huh?

What's wrong, Master and company?

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Yes, Master! I will stop this cretin in his tracks by separating his head from his shoulders!

Bwa!?

Uh-oh! A pretty girl with killer eyes is out to get me! Pirate's Glory!

Phew, that was close.

I could have sworn his head just dropped like overripe fruit from a tree...

!?

What's the deal, Master? Can't we forego the violence now that we're in Hawaii?

Y-you're...!

Huh? You're Edward Teach. What're you doing here?

Oh, and if you so much as LOOK at me in my swimsuit, I'll cut your damn eyes out, you freakin' perv!

Oho! A super aggressive girl who is all tsun and no dere...! What a rich bounty for an old otaku!

I thought I understood modern slang, but not a word of that made any sense to me.

Don't sweat it. You're better off, honestly.

Still, though. What are you doing here, Blackbeard?

...Wait. Don't tell me...

Oh, you mean you didn't know?

I'm here for ServantFes.

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Oh yeah.

It's a regular get-together for Chaldean and non-Chaldean Servants.

We schmooze, join clubs, make doujins, dance, sing, and generally enjoy ourselves. We call it:

The Servant!

Summer Star!

Festival!

Or ServantFes for short.

Ohhh, so this is where ServantFes is happening this year! I was so focused on looking for Shuten that I forgot to check!

...Master, I remember now! When we were talking to Kiyohime...

Oh Maaasteeer.

What's up, Kiyohime? Is that...a swimsuit you're holding?

Why yes, it is. I thought I would prepare for the destination ahead of time.

All right Master, I'm going to go on ahead.

I can't wait to see you there♡

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So this is what she was talking about...

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Putting that aside for the moment... Blackbeard, can you tell us more about ServantFes?

Uh, I mean, the Foreigner! What can you tell us about the Foreigner!?

That's the reason we came to Hawaii in the first place!

Foreigner? Hmm, I don't think there was a club called "Foreigner"...

Popular enough to have a wall booth? No? A newbie then? Hmm, sorry, never heard of stuff related to Foreigners.

But why are we even talking about work now, anyway!? That's enough of that!

ServantFes officially kicks off in six days! I can't wait!

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Hey, come on! ServantFes is the stuff of dreams for Servants everywhere!

One Servant releases photo books to show off her beauty...

One Servant likes to sell DVDs of her horribad gatheringssorry, "concerts"...

One Servant likes to listen to others' tales of adventure to inspire his own novels...

And one Servant is holed up in her hotel room, crying about how she'll never finish her script in time.

That last one doesn't sound like the stuff of dreams.

I'm afraid Batty made an unfortunate decision to start playing the new World of Wyverns expansion right before her deadline...

O-ohmigod, oh yes... It's so good... Can't stop...

C-come on, hands, put down the controller! Please! I'm onegai-ing you here!

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Well, she's not the only one. I'd bet most of the different clubs here are behind on their merch.

That's what happens when you're busy being the hero we deserve, amirite!? Don't worry, they'll get them done sooner or later!

Anyways, the Servants who didn't join any of the clubs are parlaying it into a normie vacation.

Now that you mention it, I do see a lot of other Servants arou

GODDAMN HOT!

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...Yeah, that about fits.

Master, Master. Can you please do something about this heat!?

That solves nothing!

No respectable human being would agree to that, let alone a grand duchess such as myself. I decline.

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...I knew I should have known better than to trust Medb. (Sigh)... Goddammit...

...Well, uh, between this Luluhawa Singularity and ServantFes, this is certainly a lot to take in...

...but overall, I think this is good news, Master.

Whatever the circumstances, the fact remains that all your Servants are here on this island. If they all join forces, we shouldn't have any trouble taking on the Foreign

Uh, I don't think that's gonna work.

Why not?

We're talking about a Foreigner here. If we don't all take it on togeth

I hate to be "that" guy, but all the Servants here...

...have agreed that there won't be any real combat until ServantFes is over.

...Wha...

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If you're wondering why, you should ask BB.

She's the one putting on this year's ServantFes.

Huh!?

Hold up! Did I hear someone talking about me?

Speak this cute little devil's name, and she doth appear! The return of BB♡ the eternal summer guide♡

Gah, knock it off! One heart icon's more than enough!

Yikes... Seriously, Robin? You come all this way to the tropics, and you're still being such a downer? Are you going through manopause or something...?

I hate to say it, but everything about you screams "minor character," so I don't think making yourself seem like an old fogy will win you any fans...

Buzz off! I'm dancing with joy on the inside, all right!?

I'd already be at the beach if it wasn't for the neckbeard here!

All right, shut it. You. You said your name was BB?

You're the one running ServantFes?

Why yes! Yes, I am♡ Just this year's, though.

See, I heard they were having trouble finding a convention center for this year's ServantFes, and I thought I could help.

Turning all of Hawaii into a Singularity would make sure the Mystics stay secret, so now everyone can really cut loose!

The Servants get to make the most of their time in Hawaii, and ServantFes gets to be bigger than ever before!

And once ServantFes is over, the Singularity will disappear and the Hawaiian Islands will go right back to normal♡

Everybody wins! Right? I might be chaotic-evil, but even I can do a good deed once in a while!

Go on, give it up for me! That's it! Don't hold back now!

She does have a point... As far as I can tell, this island seems to be perfectly peaceful.

Exactly. You won't find any mines at the beach or missiles at Diamond Head.

We took great pains to look into that sort of thing ourselves. Trust me, there's nothing dangerous here!

Of course not! This is both a con and an event designed to increase my appeal!

That said, a plain old ServantFes would bring shame to the name BB!

So, for this ServantFes, I've instituted a ranking system!

Listen up! Once the festivities are underway in six days' time, I'll be rewarding the most popular club...

...with a Holy Grail! Tadaaa!

Seriously!?

I AM the one putting on this con, so of course I'd have the authority to do that. Duh.

And as a result, over half the Servants here at Luluhawa have said they're going to be joining clubs.

Now, I have a question for you and your group, Fujimaru.

What are you going to do while you're here?

Don't worry, you don't have to make anything. You can just spectate if you want.

After all, you can't have entertainment without creators and an audience!

So go ahead and join a club, or just sit back and take it all in. It's up to you♡

Though of course, the only way to get the Holy Grail will be by joining a club, so do keep that in mind.

Right? Who wouldn't want a Holy Grail of their own! I love that kind of straightforward desire most!

I've never made a book before. Chaldea never did have any arts and crafts programs...

I mean, I would certainly put my landscape and portrait paintings up against anyone else's, but...

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Just a moment, Master. I am curious about this ServantFes as well, but our mission lies elsewhere.

She's right. We're not here for a vacation. (Well, I am, but I still know I've got a job to do.)

So I think it's best if we stick to being spectators. Right, Master?

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I see... Well that's too bad.

Once ServantFes is over, we'll be announcing each club's total sales numbers, awarding the Holy Grail...

...and holding an awards ceremony to celebrate the most creative Servants.

Hmph. Who gives a rat's ass about sales numbers? But hey, if you guys wanna get all worked up over nothing, go right ahead.

Can't imagine the sorta Servants who'd go around joining clubs like that are worthwhile, anyway.

So it's nothing we need to worry about. Right, Master?

...By the way, is there a club that's expected to win?

Yup! That'd be the club that won the last ServantFes by a landslide!

St. Orleans, led by Jeanne and friends!

Wait, what!? The hell'd you just say!?

HER!? Making doujins!? In a ServantFes club!?

Oh, you mean you didn't know? Jeanne's huge at ServantFes.

Last year, I think her club sold out of every doujin they made the day before the doors even opened!

In fact, I already asked BB to ensure they put aside a copy of this year's doujin just for me...

I don't know if it's all calculated or just a happy coincidence, but the way their cute art meshes with the intense story is just... (Chef's kiss)

Like, that bit when the heroine had a cannon full of phones and fired it to confess her love for the hero?

The way it ignores all the usual rom-com tropes made me think it might be a little too turn-of-century Orleans, but

...do it.

I'm sorry, what was that?

I said I'll do it!

If she came in first, then she must be the one who drew that book!

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If that's the way it is, then fine! Me and Fujimaru'll make our own club!

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Hey! We're a team, right!?

We'll call ourselves "Gespenst Ketzer"!

Yeah. Sounds pretty badass, doesn't it?

... ...

Something along the lines of "Heretical Monster"...?

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Theeere we go! Just the fish I'd hoped to land! Step right up, you two!

There you go, your club's all registered! See you at section G-01 in six days!

Feel free to bring in any kind of merch. Comics, novels, swimsuit magazines, tchotchkes, figurines...

In that case, I will join you as well, Master. Say the word, and it shall be done.

I believe it is high time I demonstrated there is more I can do than decapitate!

Well, I'm not gonna join! Nope!

Now that we're in Hawaii, the rest of you can go pound sand!

I'm just here for the food! And to find Shuten!

Okay, so that's a "no" from Ibaraki...

See you around, Master!

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Off she goes...

I know oni are free-spirited, but yikes... Still, I can't say she's got the wrong idea.

Think I'm gonna pass, too. Not spending my time at a tropical resort working hunched over a desk.

I don't care about this club stuff, and I can't draw anyway.

Are you sure about that?

I mean, if Senpai's club doesn't do well, you're going to turn into a pig, you know?

... ...

...Why?

Because I said so, of course!

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Okay Robin, I'll go ahead and cast the spell on you now to make sure you feel it.

Sakura Beeeam! ...Wait, scratch that. Luluhawa☆Beeeam!

Gah! You actually did it!

What is this, a swimsuit!? It is, isn't it!? Dammit...you've got pretty good taste...

Even worse, I certainly can't forget how I'll end up as a pig if Fujimaru's book doesn't do well...

What a dreadful spell...

Don't worry! As long as your club actually makes a book, this spell won't activate!

I have a lot of faith in your work ethic and abilities, Robin.

You're the perfect man for looking after slovenly writers and inspiring unmotivated ones!

I'd go so far as to say that, among Heroic Spirits, you are a comic editor born!

So on that note, Robin, get to work! Don't you dare let Senpai down!

Dammit, I knew I should've run for it as soon as we hit the tarmac...!

Okay, Senpai, I can't wait to see what your club comes up with.

Oh, and while I'm sure this goes without saying...

...ServantFes has some innocent children among its attendees, so make sure it's family-friendly!

I don't do inappropriate, dumbass!

Damn, you're gonna write and draw a whole book in a week? That's a hell of a thing.

...Well, since you're mostly Servants, I guess you could get one done a good bit faster than normal if you go without sleep...

By the way, Alter, have you had any experience making doujins?

No. Does that matter?

None? What the hell, Dragon Witch? You think this shit is easy?

Y-you don't have any experience at all!? Don't you think that's kind of

No, I don't think it's easy! I know it's a ton of work!

Yeah, I'm a beginner. I'm as green as they come. But SO WHAT!? I'm still gonna kick her ass!

...I have to.

And if that means drawing a doujin or two, then you bet your ass I'm gonna draw the best damn doujin ever!

...Well, it's good that you're motivated, but if you think this is going to be easy, you're in for a rude awakening...

(Sigh) Good grief. Are you sure you're going to be okay, Master?

Figure something out? There aren't even any copy services around here we could use... (Sigh)... It's not easy, being a Good Samaritan...

Yeah, that sounds about right! I like your honesty!

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All right, guess I've got no other choice.

I'll be your doujin master, pirate Servant style!

...Oh, so that's how it is, huh? You wanna get skewered like meat over a bonfire?

Hell yeah! I'm a pirate first and foremost, after all!

If you want my insider tips, you'll have to beat them out of me!

O Captain, my Captain!

I think, therefore I'm kick-ass! Come on, let's do this thing!

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Guh!

All right! We won!

...But...the only one who can beat me...is me...

Sorry. Got caught up in the moment.

Well, that's just not nice.

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Anyway, since you won, I'll keep my word and help you out.

Start by heading for that hotel over there. It's one of Waikiki's finest.

If you hurry, you'll be able to get the special ServantFes deal of a hundred thousand BB Bucks a night!

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Anyway, that's your only option. All the other hotels are completely booked because ServantFes.

So those are the only lodgings available to us, hmm. Although... Teach, that hotel over there...

Am I mistaken, or is that the Shelton, the single largest resort hotel in Waikiki?

Ayup. I'd reserved a room there for me and my old pirate crew to have a bit of drunken revelry, but then that smarmy Bartholomew was all...

"Sorry, Teach, but I already reserved the five-star place next door. If I see you at the con, you and I don't know each other, 'kay?"

Guh, it still makes me mad! Anyway, that's why I'm not staying at that hotel myself now. Too fancy for me.

Wonderful! Thank you, Lord Teach! I had the wrong idea about you!

Come, Master, let us hurry there, before Lord Teach changes his mind!

We can rest assured that that hotel is a first-class institution!