Prologue: An Extraordinary Curtain Rises

And so, I shouted at the top of my lungs:

"Vile, accursed wizard! Release your filthy arms this instant!"

"Oh good sir, you are a true hero, a knight among knights. I think."

Was the "I think" truly necessary?

"Enough of this, vile wizard. Your life is mine!"

Whoooa!

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Sure does.

I never would've guessed that when Don Quixote and Sancho began sharing tales of their adventures...

...the author Servants would then start writing new stories...

...and that some of us would be all too willing to act them out on stage!

We're having an explosion of chivalry all around Chaldea!

But hey, that's all fine with me! Now I've got Servants asking me for my autograph left and right.

With a single order, you, too, can be the knight you've always dreamed of!

Leave your inner barbarian behind and transform yourself into a truly refined grown-up knight!

This chivalry set usually goes for one million QP, but today, it can be yours for a mere eight hundred thousand!

You there! Wish you could get your hands on that chivalry set, but eight hundred thousand is still out of your range?

Then how about this more practical chivalry set that comes with just the bare essentials?

And all for the unbelievably low price of three hundred thousand QP! What a bargain!

Jousting lance sold separately.

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You two might want to tone it down a little, before the prefects come knocking!

Heh. Not to worry, Charlemagne.

True, usually when we take things too far, Jeanne d'Arc comes crashing down on us and sends us back to square one.

Indeed.

But this time, that very Jeanne d'Arc is caught up in the same chivalry boom we are taking advantage of...

Excuse me, can you let me through? I need to see what's going on over theHuh? You want my signature?

I'm sorry, but I make it a point to never sign strange contracts. Hm? You just want my autograph on this signboard?

W-well...I suppose that's okay...

Don't worry. I'll make sure to take my time and do it right!

...which means now is the time to profit!

To profit!

How strange...

Everyone is mad for knights right now...

...so why hasn't anyone come to visit me?

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... ...

That is...a good point...

Hahaha, I never thought Chaldea would be so enthralled with chivalry. Thanks, Don Quixote! Merci, Don Quixote!

And welcome one and all to my age...the Age of Roland!

Oh, hey, Roland. I see the rest of you are here, too.

Hi, my emperor!

Huh? My lance? Sure, go ahead and take it.

What are you doing, Stolfo!? You can't just hand over your Noble Phantasm to anyone who asks for it!

Don't worry, it's fine. I'm just lending it out.

And how many things that you "just lent out" have you completely forgotten about!?

Well, uh... I just won't do that this time!

Oh, right, I almost forgot, my emperor.

Some people have been telling me they want to join the Twelve Paladins... Is that okay?

I-I see. Well, I'm not about to turn away anyone who wants to join our ranks.

But I will have to give them a proper interview and such.

Although, if I accept them...that'll mean the Twelve Paladins will have thirteen members...

Oh, yeah, I said the same thing. And in response, he said:

"No problem! If anything, being the thirteenth of the Twelve Paladins is a super important position!"

Oh, that was (aspiring knight) Blackbeard who said that.

It is!?

I-I see. Well, if you're so sure about it, maybe you're right.

Well, this WAS Beardie we're talking about, so we should probably take it with a biiig grain of salt!

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Uh-oh.

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C'mon, we should go, too!

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Thank you for coming, Senpai!

Yeah, thanks for coming in.

I swear, that alarm is going to give me a heart attack one of these days.

Is it a Singularity?

Sure is. We're just about to call in compatible Servants to

Oh, perfect. They came with you!

You mean

Are you talking about us?

Sure am.

The compatible Servants for this latest Singularity are the Twelve Paladins, including Charlemagne, and

What a privilege! What an honor! What a... What's another good word for an occasion like this?

Hmm... How about "adventure"? That does seem to be where this is going, after all.

Good one. What an adventure!

Hello, everyone. It's us, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.

Hey, Don Quixote and Sancho! Glad to have you with us!

Yes, thank you for your help!

...Hey, Sancho, are you sure I belong here? I feel a little out of place.

Don't worry, sir, you fit right in. Doesn't he, Master?

See?

Phew! What a relief!

Laying it on a little thick, don't you think?

Not at all, sir. He's right. You ARE shining bright!

Really? You're not just talking about my helmet, are you?

...Of course not!

That is...not encouraging.

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Not yet. There's still one more who

Hahahaha. Call for the presi-king, and he shall arrive!

Yes, it is I: the friend of good people and direct current, and the enemy of bad people and Tesla...

Thomas Alva Edison!

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That's right! Now that the king of inventors is here, you have nothing to fear!

So, tell me, Ms. Da Vinci, what kind of Singularity are we dealing with here?

So, tell me, Da Vinci, what kind of Singularity are we dealing with here?

Is it one where I can, how shall I put this...make full and unbridled use of my unrivaled talents as an inventor?

Sure is. Now, all eyes up here, please. Let's take a look at the video Sheba sent us!

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Yeah, it's hard to tell from this shot alone, right?

I was hoping Trismegistus would have an answer, but it was actually one of the staff who noticed first.

I was hoping Trismegistus II would have an answer, but it was actually one of the staff who noticed first.

Apparently, this is the wing of a stage.

A stage? You mean a stage like for a performance of a play?

Exactly.

Huh. Does that mean this Singularity's a theater? I've never heard of anything like that.

We have occasionally encountered Singularities that are extremely narrow in scope...but yes, this is new.

We did have a case not too long ago where the Singularity was confined to a single building.

Here's the data we just received.

Let's see... We still don't know the coordinates or the time period.

But, judging from the props on the stage, we can safely assume it's sometime in the 2000s.

A theater Singularity, huh...

That doesn't exactly sound like something up the Twelve Paladins' alley. Are you sure you want us for this, Master?

Yeah? All right then, I'll just have to show you how awesome we can be!

You think so?

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Still, I might be okay, but what about my paladins? None of them have ever been much for the arts...

Hey, what gives, my emperor!? Are you saying we're uncultured boors who don't know the first thing about acting!?

...'Cause, yep! You'd be right!

That's not something to be proud of.

Hmm, I'm not so sure.

We personally may not have much experience with the stage, but what about as characters?

Oh, yeah! Good point!

That's true.

Off the top of my head, there's a famous musical about Don Quixote...

...and there's also an opera with Roland as its main character.

Me, the main character, huh? I like the sound of that!

Me too! I wanna be the main character, too!

Okay, okay. All in good time.

As for Demonic Beasts and other hostiles, we didn't see too many of them in the footage.

There were a few Servant signals, but none with an especially high-level Spirit Origin.

So while we can be certain there's a Holy Grail there, there doesn't seem to be much magical energy distortion.

All in all, it seems like you'll only need to survey the site and take whatever remedial actions are necessary.

Besides, with the legendary Charlemagne accompanying you, you should be able to handle anything that comes your way.

Okay, let's set this Rayshift up and get you all on your way!

Yeah!

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So, this is the place.

Hey, the lights aren't working!

Hmm, it seems the power's out. It's always something with these Singularities, isn't it?

Very well then, I'll just have to shine my own light on these proceedings!

Bahahahaha! Behold the brilliance of civilization!

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Edisooon!

You're blowing out the video feed! Do something!

Oh, sorry. Let me just turn it down a little...

There we go.

Hey! What's the big idea, bulbs-for-brains!?

I was enjoying a perfectly lovely napyes, even though I'm a Servantand you went and woke me up!

Who's there!?

I am the ruler of this theater!

Um, excuse me! If you could come out and show yourself, we'd really appreciate it!

Hahahahaha!

Would that I could, my lovely young lady!

Alas, I am but a shadowy figure in the truest sense of the word!

I can only manifest a physical body in moonlight or man-made light!

In other words...

...this is the most I can muster at the moment!

This is Chaldea! I can confirm that shadowy figure is telling the truth. Their Spirit Origin values are incredibly low!

They appear to be a Shadow Servant...or maybe more accurately, a Phantom Spirit.

Okay, let's ask them directly. Hey, you. Are you a Phantom Spirit?

Indeed I am!

I was summoned here with neither the body I once possessed nor a hope of returning to life.

Ah, is this stage set for comedy or tragedy!? I never wanted my life to become a farce!

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Oh, you wish to know my True Name? Very well.

I am a philosopher, physicist, poet, duelist, and musician of no small renown.

I am a traveler, and plan to visit the moon one day. My tongue is so sharp I could cut grass without ever leaving my seat.

That's right. I am none other than...Savinien de Cyrano de Bergerac!

Cyrano de Bergerac!?

Oh my. You really are famous.

Indeed I am, my fair-eared young lady.

If I were a proper Servant, I would surely be a Saber, but alas, I am presently a literal shadow of my former self.

Seriously, how did I end up like this? I wish I could lodge a complaint about it!

By the way, who might all of you be?

(Master, I think we should say we're Servants summoned by the Holy Grail.)

(Especially since we don't yet know whether he's friend or foe.)

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(Da Vinci, can you quietly let all the other Servants here know to hide their True Names?)

(You got it!)

I'm a Servant who was summoned by the Holy Grail. I don't have a name, but you can call me Chuck.

Oho, I see.

The rest of us are in pretty much the same boat. Let's see, from left to right, we have...

...Grandpa Don, Ms. Maid, Mr. Lion, Rola, Mante, Asuh, Stolfo, and

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Wait a sec. Did you just almost call me "Ass"?

Of course not. You're probably just hearing things, Stolfo.

Hmm. Are you Servants perhaps capable of fighting?

Sure are.

I see... Then I have a request to make of you. Ghosts and Demonic Beasts have begun stalking the theater and its environs.

I would be most grateful if you would be so kind as to eliminate them.

I do have other Servants here, serving as cast and crew...

...but only one of them can fight. The rest are practically Phantom Spirits themselves, so they're quite helpless.

Got it. Well, we have some questions we wanted to ask you anyway, so why don't you start by filling us in?

Hmm, very well. What would you like to know?

Do you know where the Holy Grail is? Or maybe you even have it yourself?

...I do know where it is. But no, it is not in my possession.

The same is true of every other Servant here.

What do you think, Stolfo?

Hmm, yeah! Doesn't seem to be lying to me!

Nooo. That's supposed to be my jooob.

Great. Then we don't need to be enemies.

Which means we'll be glad to patrol the theater!

Hey, Ma-Caster. I don't know much about this guy...

...but have you ever heard of this Cyrano person before?

Oho, you have, have you? But then, I would expect a Caster to be well-educated!

I'm familiar with you, too. If you don't mind, I'd actually like to share my knowledge with the group.

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When you're done with this job, I'm going to have a history test waiting for you.

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Very well then, if I may, allow me to tell you all what I know about our esteemed host in this theater.

Lord Cyrano de Bergerac was an author and duelist from 17th century France.

That's not all I was!

Indeed not.

He also studied science and philosophy and wrote a novel in the form of a travelogue to the Moon.

Whoa, a sci-fi story all the way back then!

However, he is almost certainly best known as the inspiration for the protagonist of the play written by 19th century playwright Edmond Rostand...

"Cyrano de Bergerac."

Yes, exactly!

There are three main characters in the play: Cyrano, a duelist with a big nose; Roxane, his distant cousin; and a young, handsome duelist named Christian.

The play focuses on these three characters' relationships

In wonderful comedic fashion! Or perhaps tragic fashion! You might even say heroic fashion, if you were so inclined.

(We have multiple film versions stored in Chaldea's archives, so please feel free to watch them if you're so inclined!)

And that is everything I know about you. Now, if I may ask...

Are you the Lord Cyrano who served as the inspiration for "Cyrano de Bergerac," or the protagonist of "Cyrano de Bergerac"?

Hahahaha, why, the protagonist of course, my lovely lady.

Let me cut right to the chase. Are you this Singularity's ruler?

Unfortunately not.

My most sincere apologies for that.

But you DO know where the Holy Grail is, right?

Oh yes, of course.

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Somewhere in this theater. However, it will only manifest when a specific condition is satisfied.

And what is that?

..."Cyrano de Bergerac."

Cyrano de Bergerac? So...you?

Yes, but in this case, it refers to the play named for me. Aha, now I see. You are all here for a reason!

Good news, everyone! You're going to put on a play!

...A play!?