Section 8: Amore Mio

Behold, the goddess of judgment has descended upon you, along with crackling love and bone-roasting flames.

My name is God Caren! I do hope I can count on your support♡

？！

Hehehe... Well, everyone? What do you think of my true form?

Or is it so divinely dazzling you can't even bear to look at it?

It certainly does an excellent job showing your true devilish nature.

So even with the power of the god of love, you still look like a goddamn devil, huh. What the hell did your parents do to you when you were growing up?

...I suppose old-fashioned Heroic Spirits like yourselves just can't see true divinity, even when it's right in front of their faces.

Oh well, your opinions were never important to me anyway. It's what people from the same day and age as myself think that truly matters.

So, Mash and Fujimaru, what do YOU think of this Spirit Origin?

T-true... You're certainly, um, as boldly dressed as some Divine Spirits...

Right? Right? I knew you two would get it.

...Have you had your eyes checked recently? Because it should be beyond obvious that these are not horns.

They're chocolates.

Oh. Well, that explains it!

？！

Anyway, I was a little nervous about taking this form, since I've never done it before...

But now, my body's so hot it's like it's burning up, and I feel so, so much freer!

It's as though I've been let loose from the restraints of reason, or like I'm singing hymns beneath a clear blue sky.

Hehe. Anyway, I'm so sorry for disappointing you before.

But rest assured...I'm much more powerful now. So, shall we pick up where we left off?

Now that you're done warming up with the tutorial, are you brave enough to accept a truly challenging quest?

Uh-oh. This doesn't look good... Caren is projecting the aura of one of those broken characters who the rules don't apply to!

It's about three times more powerful than any of the three Carens we just fought!

What should we do, Master!?

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True. Believe me, I wish I could just walk away and be done with this whole mess...

But that wouldn't be fair to the people who've been looking forward to a normal Valentine's Day!

So no more going around peddling your God Love garbage!

Agreed. Regardless of how it began, these days, Valentine's Day is all about people, and how they feel about each other.

So the fact that you've been going around just giving your love away for free, well...it's not a good look.

...Ouch. Being rejected en masse is tougher than I thought...

But luckily, I like that sort of thing too! There's nothing like a little playing hard to get to make the love burn even hotter!

...In fact...

When I think about how I'll get to use the power of love to stomp all over your stupid faces shining with bravery and camaraderie, it makes me...

Makes me...

Ahem! Let's just say it makes my being summoned completely worthwhile! Ahh, what could be better than this!?

(Crap. I've seen this kind of holier-than-thou type before, and you don't want them running around doing whatever the hell they want.)

All right, Master, let's do this thing!

However we ended up here, we now know for damn sure that all of Chaldea's at stake in this fight!

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Eeeeeek!!!

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Yeah, about that... I didn't say anything sooner 'cause I didn't want to rain on your parade, but...

Even with all that extra magical energy, Amor's Spirit Origin is still just human-sized, so...

That limited her output, huh? Guess it doesn't matter how much magical energy you have if it's bottlenecked.

Honestly, the fact that there was only one of her this time made the fight even easier in some ways.

Khh.

I can't believe we lost on Valentine's Day of all days. It should've been the perfect venue for us...

No, I see now that we should have expected this. While we did have more than enough power...

That form was essentially the equivalent of a single bite-sized piece of courtesy chocolate.

Huh!? What do you mean by that, Lady Caren?

I mean that the power of love reserved for a commercialized event like Valentine's Day can only go so far.

True. I wasn't quite able to get past that hump myself. Eros was the only one of us taking it seriously.

Heeey.

Besides, weren't you just saying something about the power of Valentine's Day not too long ag

(Slap)

Eeek.

In the end, lovers are still just strangers. We forge that relationship by giving in to our base urges.

Lovers will never last forever. All relationships eventually end.

That's why love tainted with lust is a far cry from true love.

Eeek!

Please forgive me, Lady Caren! I really don't think I can take anymore!

... ...

Um, do you mind if I say something?

Yes? What is it, Gilgamesh?

Well, I couldn't help but notice...

...that you tend to treat Kama and Eros pretty harshly.

It actually reminds me of the God Love.

You've been using it to try and suppress lust, along with other negative emotions.

You clearly consider sexual desire to be, well, vulgar...

So I can't help but wonder why Eros, the god of sexual desire, would want you as a vessel.

Really, there's something...contradictory about your whole existence.

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Not necessarily. From what I know about Amor, or Eros, or whatever you call him...

He may well have had a reason for choosing his polar opposite for an avatar.

Da Vinci?

Not necessarily. From what I know about Amor, or Eros, or whatever you call him...

He may well have had a reason for choosing his polar opposite for an avatar.

Da Vinci?

It's got something to do with one of Eros's more well-known stories.

In it, Eros has been spending his life wandering around firing his arrows of love at whoever catches his fancy, just like his mother ordered him to do.

But then, one day, he meets a human girl... and falls in love with her.

The rest of their story plays out about how you expect.

Extenuating circumstances, overcoming adversity, happily ever after... You get the gist.

Anyway, the girl's name was Psyche, something close to "heart" in Greek.

And of course, I don't have to tell you that Eros means "love."

So when you think about what this story of a union between heart and love is saying...

...you realize it has some interesting implications.

So, if Eros is "love"... and Psyche is "heart"...

That would imply that love and the heart are separate things. Which would mean... Oh.

So, you're saying Eros doesn't possess a heart?

...Aha. Now I get it. Since he doesn't possess a heart...

I'm guessing he's willing to carry out any order given to him, no matter how cruel...

...and to accept any punishment, no matter how cruel? Is that it?

No. I treat Eros that way because he likes it.

No I don't. That's your thing, not mine.

Shut up. I was just getting to the good part.

Ahem. Here's the deal. Eros, or Amor, or whatever you call him, is a tragic god.

He had the power to control love, but no heart to understand it.

I knew it!

One day, he came to me in a dream...

...and asked me what true love is.

But that is very difficult to put into words...

So instead, I decided to show him a sample case.

A sample case?

The hell kind of sample case did you show to a freaking god?

I told you, it's simple.

I showed him the form love should take.

...And what was that?

A world without conflict. A world where people cherish their neighbors, and no classes divide society.

I showed him an ideal world...

...where I, as its benevolent dictator, control all things.

The hell!? That's just another dystopia!

So what? What's wrong with a benevolent dictatorship?

My duty is to use this power to guide the world where it's meant to go...

To make the ideal world I showed him a reality.

Yes, that's right. Since people alone are incapable of being truly happy...

I must use the Lord's love to bestow happiness upon everyone equally!

That's...a Holy Grail!

What, was it formed by Valentine's Day power or something!? Then again, with all these Heroic Spirits around, I guess that's totally plausible!

Anyway, if there's a Holy Grail involved, that'd explain how she showed up without anyone summoning her!

That's right. The Holy Grail was first drawn here by all those couples and their lecherous affections.

It then summoned the god of love, who in turn sought someone with a heart: me.

That is the chain of fate that led us here.

And now, I'm sure that what I am about to do...

...is only a fulfillment of God's will.

That chocolate... Is that God Love!?

God Love amplifies the love within anyone who eats it, and represses their negative emotions.

So I wonder. What will happen if I, a true believer of love, eat it instead?

I think the time has come to find out.

No, Lady Caren, don't! You mustn't push yourself any further!

(Sigh...) I knew you'd end up going down that route eventually, Caren.

Why the hell didn't either of you try to stop her, then!?

Seriously, don't do this, Caren! There's no way anything good'll come of it!

Hehe...

As they say in Rome: Porca miseria, why don't you mind your own business, Lancer!?

？！

The chocolate factor seems to have transformed into something...else.

Hehe...

Caren? Is that you?

This is quite a surprise. Even I wasn't expecting to gain this much power.

I can feel both powerful love and irresistible desire swirling inside me.

By accepting that desire, and forgiving it...

I have now embodied true agape.

So I will no longer go by a name as simple as "God Caren."

Now that I am even holier than God...

You may call me...

Super God Caren!

That's not what your name says!

Oh man, this feels so gooooood! And my skin's so smooth it's getting all tingly!

Can you hear that crackling sound? Really adds to the atmosphere, don't you think!?

I think I can repel any attack now, to say nothing of water. Oh no, I'll never be able to take a shower again☆

...(Dumbfounded)

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Huh? You still want to fight me? Seriously? Talk about chickens seasoning themselves for the roast.

...(Sigh) Humans never change, do they? No matter the time or place, they just can't help but charge bravely, though recklessly, into danger.

I swear, I never get tired of it. You really are God's greatest creations.

All right. If you're so eager for punishment, I can make you cry without making you die.

You're all going to be drowning in my God Love soon enough, anyway...

So if you'd like to get a head start by having my love lightning zap you down to your soul, that's fine with me.

Khh... Her aura is incredible!

It's about three times more powerful than the God Caren we just fought!

Don't worry! There's nothing to fear here!

The only things that've really changed about her are her color palette and disposition!

Super God, my ass! She's still just another Servant!

Come on, brat! You, me, Master, and Mash can totally take her!

All right, but please don't give it your best.

We're still dealing with a Pseudo-Servant with a human body as a vessel.

So please hold back and don't take this fight too far.

Well sure, that's what I was planning on doing all alonHey, what's that supposed to mean?

Hehe. Hehehe. Hehehehehe!

It may be a little too late for this, but you all have the wrong idea about me.

The Lord's love is universal. It simply exists. It's given freely to all living things.

Every person, regardless of who they are or what sort of life they may have lived, can receive it.

The Lord's love shines down upon us like sunlight. It gives people life, illuminates the earth, and punishes sin.

There is no sense rejecting it, refusing it, or trying to flee from it. You couldn't even if you wanted to.

It is simply the joy of life. It is what allows life to exist on this planet at all.

That is true agapeGod's love, given freely. That is the greatest form of love we humans have imagined.

Caren's magical energy signal is expanding! Does this mean her Spirit Origin is going to transform yet again!?

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Once again, this has been quite unexpected. Seeing you all fight so valiantly has inspired surprising new feelings in me...

Ahh... I feel as though I'm about to be reborn...

I can feel curiosity about a world I've yet to see bubbling up within me...

Pure... Innocent... And therefore, infinite...

I've now embodied twue agape.

... ...

"Twue"?

So I wiww no wonger go by a name as simple as "Super God Cawen."

Fwom now on, you can caww me...

Super Baby Cawen!!!

Now she's a literal baby!?

You gotta be friggin' kidding me! Did we just jump the shark!?

Hehehe...

Thewe is no wonger any weason fow us to fight. I am wiwwing to fowgive evewything.

After aww, I'm a super baby now. Goo goo gah.

Khh... Even as a baby, the scale of her aura is massive!

It's about three times more powerful than the Devil Caren we just fought!

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Wight now, I considew aww wife equawwy pwecious.

After aww, I'm a baby.

Gwown-ups, chiwdwen, men, women... They aaaww wook the same to me.

So I'm going to tweat you aww the same, and stawt cawwing you by numbers instead of names.

Now what's she going on about!?

Oh, and while this doesn't weally have anything to do with anything, I just want you all to know that...

The Capswile Sewant spinoff is avaiwable to downwoad in Jwapan, awthough I don't condown piwacy.

(As of February 2023)

Now she's even casually cross-promoting other games! What incredible confidence!

So that's Super Baby Caren...!

...Heh.

This is all turning out way crazier than I expected... But my job is still the same as ever:

Kick ass until there's no more ass to be kicked!

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Don't be fooled, Master. She might look like an angel now, but she's still as good as her word.

If we don't stop her now, she'll take control of Chaldea, and then the world.

God, devil... Whatever she becomes, it's all the same thing for her at heart.

Even good intentions can be disastrous when taken too far. Like they say, the road to hell's paved with 'em.

So, Master... What do you say?

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Um, just for the record, I can't say any of this is really shocking me.

Okay, the baby, I didn't see coming. The rest though? Pretty predictable.

So then, does that mean...?

Yup.

Let's put this baby down for her nap and get back to our regular saccharine celebration.

So this is what you want... After evewything I said, you would still wefuse my wuv?

What, have none of you ever been wuved in your entiwe wives before or something?

What weason could you have to stiww go on wiving?

Shut it! Baby or not, there are some things you just can't say!

Don't be siwwy. Babies towewate evewything.

I'm not angwy. I'm just going to kiww you aww. This has been vewy educational, but it's over now.

So, on that note, wuv-fowsaken Wancer, foowish wuv-abandoning Archer...

...woving Mash, and Master who weawwy needs to start watching his potty mouth if he knows what's good for him...

It's time for aww of you to buwn in the fiwes of heww. Meanies. Poo-poo heads. Dum-dums.

I'm gonna towewate you so hard your heads wiww spin!

...I feel like our definitions of tolerance might be incompatible.

Hell, I'm starting to doubt she's got any god stuff in her at all.

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O-oh, right! Then we'll have to make absolutely sure we win it!

Not just for our sake, but also to show new lives yet to be born how wonderful Valentine's Day truly is!

I-impossibwe...! My agape is infinite! How can I stiww be wosing!?

...!!!

Hey! Golden kid!

Right!

You used your chains to westwain me...! Weww pwayed, Giwgamesh.

This must be youw way of paying me back fow all the times I tied you up in anothew wowld!

You did WHAT to me!?

But even Anti-Divine awmaments wike this awen't enough to howd me fowevew!

That's okay. They don't have to.

Master, give me all the magical energy you can spare! I'm gonna hit her with something real special!

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P-please stand back, Master!

Keep holding her down, Gil! I'll cover you!

E-expanding ramparts!!!

Say night night, Caren, 'cause this lullaby's gonna knock you out for good!

Gáe...

Bolg!!!

G-g... G-g-g...!

Ga gooooo!?!?

... ...

Damn, sorry about that.

Gotta admit, I might've gone a little overBolg there.

... ...

But that said...

How the hell are you still alive!?

...(Sigh)

I guess this is it then.

All right. I'll admit I lost. At least this time.

"This time"?

After all this crap, you still haven't given up?

Of course not. It will take much more than this to make me stop.

I'm going to start development on my next product as soon as my Spirit Origin recovers, and then

She really doesn't regret a thing, does she...

... ...That's enough, Caren.

Eros.

I'm Amor.

Do you remember what Queen Medea said?

She said that Aphrodite wouldn't care...

...even if all of my limbs were torn off of me.

But...I'm not so sure.

Amor?

Well, well.

That's not Caren's familiar speaking right now.

It looks like a Divine Spirit that would normally never come to the forefront is using that pseudo-Spirit Origin...

He's speaking for himself by taking advantage of his own amorphous existence.

A long time ago, somebody laughed at my bazooI mean, bow and arrow of love, calling it no more than a toy.

I still remember how it felt to have that bow and arrowa core part of who I am as a Divinitymocked like that.

It was...upsetting.

Looking back now, I realize I must have been sad.

Sad that my work, my purposeno, my pride and joyhad been so mocked.

... ...

(I can practically hear her wondering what that has to do with her from here...)

(Now, now. Let's just keep quiet and see where this goes.)

And now I feel the same about you, Caren.

Me? Are you saying...I'm like your bow and arrow?

That's right. Whenever I see you getting hurt...

It...upsets me.

... ...

And besides...

Deep down, don't you want to believe in it yourself?

Don't you want to believe that the love between a coupleeven if you think it's vulgarcan last forever?

Amo

I'm Eros.

I saw a memory of yours earlier, when your own love and desires had been heightened.

It was a memory of the only time in your life...

...when you fell in love with someone you deeply respec

(Slaps)

Eeek.

...Ugh, I swear. It's rough being a Pseudo-Servant.

You don't even think twice about dredging up painful memories I'd just as soon forget.

Even so, you got me good. You're right. As I am now, I don't have any right to embody true agape.

The best I can do is sing the praises of love to those who know nothing of it.

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Yes. I'm no longer going to try to rule over Chaldea, unfortunately.

Here. You can have this as proof of my commitment.

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I don't need it anymore.

I also wrote down how to counteract the God Love's effects in dry-erase marker on the side here.

That's, um, very kind of you...

As for you, Cú Chulainn and Gilgamesh...

Yeah?

Yes?

You both helped me out a lot as well.

Thank you for guiding Fujimaru and defeating me.

Whoa, whoa, where's this coming from? It's like a total one-eighty from what you wereWait.

Well, that was fast. You really don't do anything by halves, do you?

Hehe... I'm a lot prouder than you might think, you see. Now that I've lost, I have no wish to overstay my welcome.

Come on, Eros, Amor. Let's be on our way.

Farewell, everyone.

It's been a pleasure to meet you.

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Oh, right. I also promised I would help you, didn't I?

That's the one regret I have about how all this turned out...