Section 14: Mecha Elisa VS Mecha Elisa Mk.II

I'm fairly certain this is where the guardian statue used to be. ...Oh.

Puppy! SAAAAAAVEEEEEE MEEEEEE!!!

El-El!? Why did you hang her upside down, Mk. II!?

Her incessant chatter became annoying. I turned her upside down hoping that would shut her up. It did not.

And since she keeps struggling and running around, I'm afraid I'll need your help to hold her down.

Yeah, this takes me back too!

...But is that really what matters right now!?

HOW is that the first thing you think of when you see me in such horrible peril!?

Huh? You mean you crossed the Lava Zone this year too!? I don't ever want to see that place again!

...Oh, wait. That was Brave-me, wasn't it?

？！

...Carmilla, I understand she's not exactly YOU per se, but...

If you have something to say, just go ahead and say it, Nite-Brite.

Her chatter is so obnoxious that I couldn't imagine a form of torture that would even begin to compare.

I know what you mean...

(Whoa, textbook definition of setting aside one's feelings.)

So, I'm guessing if we shut down this reactor, it'll shut down the giant Mecha Eli-chan Mk. II as well?

...I guess you can't put anything past a genius like Leonardo da Vinci...

That's exactly right.

If you tasukesave Elisabeth and shut the reactor down, then you can hang it up, cause you've got me beat.

Buuut...if I beat YOU here, I will have snatched victory from the jaws of dismal defeat!

Halloween is MINE! Nothing will stop me from becoming the ultimate, permanent hiko!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

Halloween belongs to ME, and to everyone else!

It's all about me singing, people dancing, and everyone eating candy!

So just give it up right now, Batty!

Nobody gets to ruin Halloween with their own selfish desires as long as I'm around!

...Hm. To hear you say something like that under circumstances like this... Perhaps you have grown as a ruler after all. If only a bit.

...

Besides, if you stay inside too long you'll end up... Uh, what was that animal unique to Japan called again?

The one with huge eyes and a giant belly? Oh, a tanuki! You'll end up looking like a tanuki!

Damn straight I will! That wonderful NEET lifestyle makes me nice and plump!

And don't bother with the snarky jabs. Nothing you can say will change my mind!

I don't care one bit if I gain a little weight!

Why in the world not!? I'd be DEVASTATED if I put on so much as an extra pound!

Any good idol would think the same! How can you be my complete opposite in EVERY way like this!?

You took the words right out of my mouth! You hate being confined; I hate going out.

You want to be a symbol for your nation; I want to be something more than that.

You want to be an idol adored by millions; I want to be a princess for my chosen few!

If we'd both been after the same thing, we might have ended up as rivals...

...but we're not. We want completely different things out of life. There shouldn't be any conflict between us.

...None of that matters now!

I WILL make my dreams come true, so this time, I'm going all out!

Mecha Eli-chan Mk. II! Activate your...secret...weapon...uh, thingy. Yeah. That one.

...Oh, are you finally done talking? I thought I was going to start rusting.

All we have to do now is kill every single one of them.

The princess's prime directive is sloth. I accept this as a valid form of governance.

Accordingly, I shall crush everything in a fair and balanced manner and impose the rule of sloth on all.

None shall be allowed out. None shall be allowed to work. Csejte will become a nation of NEETs.

Work won't even be an option. All the people will need is sloth, submission, and permanent compulsory welfare.

They shall be reduced to nothing more than meatbags whose only actions are to consume food and oxygen.

Nani the hell!? That isn't what I wanted at all!

Hey, Mk. II, are you going rogue or something? Trying to start a robot apocalypse!?

Hehe. Is that what you think, princess? That I've gone rogue?

Aaahhh! Rogue AI! Rooogue AI! This is why I hate technology! Doooushite!? How!? When!?

Waaah! Why did she go all Soranet on us like this!? I didn't do anything wrong!!!

Really? Are you suuure you didn't do anything?

No, she didn't!

This happens to me ALL THE TIME! I can't even begin to count all the karaoke machines that practically explode the second I touch them!

I...think that's an entirely different kind of problem.

Did I go rogue because I am an Elisabeth, or am I an Elisabeth because I went rogue?

Meh. Questions for later. All of you are going to die now.

I think now's as good a time as any for that secret weapon.

CLICK!

Ghh...! What the...!?

Fuyaaa!

Wh-what is this!? I-it's sapping me of my streeength.

I-it feels like...it's absorbing our magical energy...!?

Why you...! What did you do!?

Wh-wh-wh-what the!? Bwaaah!

It's affecting you too!?

The princess's plan was softer than she is. I improved upon it.

This is the reactor that provided Giant Mecha Eli-chan with energy. I've modified it into an Anti-Servant weapon.

By inverting its functionality, I have created an ultimate weapon that absorbs magical energy from Spirit Origins and converts it into Elisa Particles.

I call it... Hmm, let's see... How about "Omni-Elly-izer"?

？！

Th-the name may be ridiculous, but it's working scary fast!

Aaah! I don't wanna diiie!

Yamete kudastooop!!!

Dammit, I can't move...! Get out of here, Master! At least save yourself!

An explosion...!?

Great minds like us really do think alike, Mk. II. That's how I knew what you were going to do, and devised a genius plan to stop it!

？！

Well I can see YOUR energy hasn't been drained if you've got enough left for that kind of snark!

But witty repartee can wait till later. Pilot Candidate, get behind me!

I'll divide my energy among the other Servants. It will damage them a bit, but at least they will be able to move.

H-huh? That's definitely better...but it still hurts like hell if I let my guard down!

Hnghhh... Empress Fortituuude!

Th-this is...remarkably painful...!

CEO Spiriiit!

Hang on. Why is Mecha Eli-chan the only one who can move freely here...?

Oh crap! Don't tell me your energy source is actually...!?

You guessed it. Nuclear fusion.

...Kidding!

I simply have a function that nullifies the reactor's absorption.

Just like Mecha Eli-chan Mk. II over there.

You said we think alike, Mk. I? Then you should be able to understand my logic.

It doesn't matter whether people are lazy or industrious. At the end of the day, they're essentially the same.

In which case, wouldn't it be more efficient to make it so they consume less energy, even only slightly?

Don't be ridiculous.

If you did that, no one would be able to enjoy Halloween.

Isn't being human all about enjoying laziness and an indolent existence?

No. I may not be able to empathize with them, but I do understand them.

Human energy sources are far more complex than ours.

It's the way all manner of elements mix and interact with their emotions that provide humans with energy.

They work every day, feel sad, sometimes even exhausted...but then they go to festivals. These let them forget their pain.

Laziness doesn't GIVE them energy. It just saps them of the will to do anything else.

... ...

I see. Then there is nothing further to discuss.

After all, a lazy existence is sufficient to ensure Csejte's permanence.

Very well then. As a guardian statue of Csejte, I find you guilty of treason.

I shall defeat you in battle in order to protect my homeland.

Agreed. The time for talk is over.

As a fellow guardian statue of Csejte, it saddens me to see you having gone so rogue.

So, I, in turn, find you guilty of sloth! The Csejte you are trying to create is not the one I wish for!

Fujimaru, I'll need your help.

As a guardian statue of Csejte, I can't stand back and let Mk. II's mistake continue unabated any longer!

...!

Dammit, this reactor crap has me moving in freakin' slow motion!

Hell, I couldn't even move at all if it weren't for the mechanical dragon girl's magical energy!

Puppyyy! All the head's starting to go to my bloood!

I can only distract myself by humming for so long!

...MUST you screech so obnoxiously, Original? You're damaging my perfect finish.

I don't get it. How can you be so destructively off-key when our voices are fundamentally identical?

No doubt the whole reason we ended up looking like demonic monsters rather than beautiful angels is because of that destructive voice of yours.

？！

My voice isn't destructive! And if somehow it was, that'd be 'cause I'm doing it on purpose!

Master?

...I can see you and that look of crushing, overwhelming despair on your face. Is there something you wish to say, Master of Chaldea?

？！

...Surely there are less horrible ways to end your own life?

Master!?

You want me to sing? Even though I'm in such horrible condition after this cruel and unnecessary torment?

...No, idols can't make excuses! It must be REALLY important to you that I sing for you, right!?

So if you want to hear me sing, I'll gladly put on a show for you, Master!

I don't even care if I'm hanging upside down!

Her lungs are building up tremendous power...! But how!? They should have practically withered by now!

N-no, wait. Please, stop! Your singing...in a tiny, enclosed space like this, it will...

Hah! You can't stop showbiz!

For my opening number, I'll of course be singing my famous debut song...

？！

...Huh?

This song is...normal. No, if anything, it's actually genuinely beautiful!

I can't believe it...! It's a Halloween miracle!

Wh-what's going on...!? All of my outputs and stats are dropping sharply!

It's having a negative effect on Mecha Eli-chan Mk. II...? What about you, Mecha Eli-chan!? Are you okay!?

...I'm fine. I can't quite believe it myself, but it isn't hurting me at all.

...Much as I hate to admit it, it's actually having a healing effect on my mind.

Wh-why is it only hurting Mk. II...?

The primary difference between me and her is... No... It can't be...

？！

Hmm. That would seem to be the only logical explanation. I'd think having a heart would open the door to a lot of suffering in its own right, though.

Th-then...this means we've won!

Again with the open hands...?

...This is true pop music. It's a little on the psychedelic side, but still, I think I rather like it.

Being a mecha, it's difficult to put into words exactly WHAT I like about it...

But I can say for sure that something like this could be played at full blast at a street festival. What a lovely day this turned out to be.

...You've lost your mind, Mk. I. Or perhaps this..."song" is actually a kind of mental attack.

We are both guardian statues. How could you possibly enjoy such a nightmarish performance?

...True, you and I are much more similar than not.

Though we were both born from the Anti-Hero Elisabeth, neither of us could ever become her, as both of us gave up on singing.

But where I continued to carry out her desire to be this land's ruler, you discarded even that.

That was an act of pure ego, done only to allow you to remain as Csejte's guardian, rather than go on protecting its people as their ruler.

So it is no wonder an egomaniac like you hears a song like this as something horrid.

Singing is a festive act, but sloth wallows in silence. They could not be further apart.

I'm sure it's having such a deleterious effect on you because you're trying to impose laziness on the world.

Man, I don't know what you guys were so worried about! I am really digging this song!

What does that matter? That I see no value in song does not affect my own worth?

...Regardless, this is still dreadfully unpleasant.

Stop your singing right now, Elisabeth, or I will crush your larynx with my bare hands!

Can't stop, won't stop! Not even God can stop me once I start singing!

Especially not when I'm singing for Master!

That's right... Now that I think about it...

For some reason, Elisabeth actually sings well whenever she's singing for someone else. How very odd...

...Wait. What's going on? The reactor's output is decreasing...

And now I'm starting to malfunction too...? That's impossible

Hm?

Oh, hey! I'm all better!

All right! Now THIS is what I'm talkin' about!

I-I thought I was gonna shindie...

...It seems I will have to put a sincere effort into crushing you, you repulsive lizard.

Fine then. I will have the main unit support me. If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get.

That's more like it. Now we're finally on even footing!

This is much better for a final showdown! Come on then, Mk. II. I'll show you just how obsolete you really are!

Oh my gosh, it's a final showdown between me, myself, and I! My fans are gonna eat this up!

You can do this, Fujimaru! I'll keep singing as hard as I can to cheer you on!

Khh...!

Now, Pilot Candidate!

Wh-what!? Stop it! Don't do this! Aaaaaahhh!

Wh-what did you say!? What are you thinking!?

I mean, I understand the gist. I've seen the entry in my database. But...you know...

Aren't you supposed to buy me dinner first...?

Ugh, you really are an Elisabeth, aren't you!? Just do it already, Fujimaru!

？！

？！

Wh...what is this...!?

This...can't be right. It's too late for me to have a heart...

... ...

...I can't stand it. I was supposed to usher in an era of laziness in Csejte!

It's time to accept the truth, Mk. II.

Our rightful role is to be guardians, not rulers.

Right now, Csejte is beset by chaos and disarray. It needs our help if it's going to be rebuilt.

...It seems I've been beaten by the prototype.

I'm not a prototype. I'm a complete, perfect, one-of-a-kind original.

Magus Aegis Elisabeth Channel.

Mecha Eli-chan for short. And if you don't like it, TOUGH!

Hooray! ...Now, could you maybe GET ME DOWN from here, Puppy!?

Me? ...If I must.

There.

Wah!

Admit it, Bad-Ending-Version-of-Me! You totally just tried to murder me!

I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.

You got it.

Hup.

Thanks, Puppy!

Oh sure, don't bother thanking me. I'm just the one who actually DID it.

？！

And as for you two!

... ...

... ...

...Oh well, it's all water under the bridge now! What's another couple of mes at this point anyway?

Besides, now we can upgrade my Elisabeth Trio to a full-blown Elisabeth Quintet!

It'll be epic!

(Yaaawn)

(Carmilla really is good at setting her personal feelings aside!)

I guess...this means I lost, huh...?

You sure did, Batty. So just give it up already, okay?

Yes, I know. I wakarunderstand.

...I'm gonna go sulk in the corner for a little bit. You guys do your thing. Just let me know when you're done...

Uh, okay...

So, what are you two going to do now?

We're the guardians of Csejte.

Even if we have been given Spirit Origins as Servants, our role will never change.

That said, if we're being honest, the energy requirements for keeping us both active at once are simply too great.

If we both remain here, we could end up becoming a Singularity ourselves.

So if we're going to keep Csejte safe, I'm afraid one of us will have to go back to being a statue.

I see...

In that case, since I lost, I should be the one to go back to sleep. You can handle things from here, Prototype.

No, as a prototype, I should be the one to return to statuedom. I'm a loser too, after all.

？！

???

Hmm. You mean, you want us both to come to Chaldea? That's an intriguing proposition.

That's...

That's a good point. I'm ashamed I forgot about that, after I went and granted you that prestigious status.

？！

However...

Only one of us can accompany you.

As I said, we're the guardians of Castle Csejte. One of us will stay behind to protect it, while the other will go off to provide foreign aid.

We cannot abandon our duties, no matter what. We take pride in being guardians, after all.

Agreed. For that matter, until this Singularity is completely repaired...

...we will need some insurance to prevent giant Mecha Eli-chan Mk. II from going rogue herself.

That goes for the mass-produced models Osakabehime made as well.

？！

Don't worry. We share data on our network.

Once we share our memories with each other, it won't matter which of us goes to Chaldea.

Our specs are all the same, and our appearance and personalities aren't too different either.

Whichever of us you choose, we'll respect your wishes and the other's freedom to go with you.

So go ahead and pick whichever of us you like.

Either way, we'll both share the joy of being chosen.

Agreed. I was planning to go back to sleep anyway, so I am certainly not about to complain.

...Huh?

Now what is it? What's this alarm for!?

Oops.

...Tell me she did NOT just say "oops."

...Ah, right. Well, okay I'll just be straight with you. The reactor's about to explode.

... ...

What!?