Prologue: Chocolate Flavored Great Escape

Mas

ter

Today is Valentine's Day, Master. Kiyohime, unworthy me, has made chocolate.

To be precise, I "became" chocolate rather than made it.

If I can become a dragon by holding on to my feelings for a thousand years, becoming a chocolate is rather simple.

Come! I will be the personification of that cheesy tagline!

I will melt in your mouth but definitely not...in...your...hand☆

By the way, if I transform my entire body in chocolate, I would be roughly 240,000 calories♪

You can cut me into pieces and eat me up later if you want to.

？！

Well, well, I wonder what kind of nightmare you witnessed?

Perhaps something like "The tiger now hath seized the gentle hind?"

Oh, I see. It is almost Valentine's Day.

A nightmare so terrible you couldn't even remember, I see.

But, if it's a nightmare that can even torture our Master, I have no doubt its content is related to Ms. K.

？！

...That aside... Hello, my Master!

I, Shakespeare, the most renowned literary writer in the world, have come to destroy your golden slumber!

Why? You may ask. No reason, I am simply here to wake you up.

I am sure you'd think that way. After all, Lady Mash is the usually the one to wake you up.

Unfortunately, as you may be aware, she's battling with chocolate at the moment.

Well, well, have you forgotten, Master?

All of the female Servants, including her, are spending all their time on chocolate.

？！

Some of them... Like Lady Artemis, for example, is making the chocolate for their true love.

Lady Mata Hari, Lady Antoinette, and Lady Boudica seem to be making chocolate for everybody.

I guess you could call those types of chocolate, friendship chocolate.

Also, although it's only my own speculation, I have an eerie feeling about what they might get in return on White Day, except Lady Boudica.

I mean, the majority of male Servants probably never received a chocolate in their life, and glare at the world with eyes that look like the Tibetan Fox.

Well, there are also Servants who don't care much about this kind of occasion, but that's that.

"It (Jealousy) is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on."

...That's the saying, no?

？！

Ohhh, Master's handmade chocolate! That would make any Servant happy!

Servants are emotional entities. If they get chocolate from you, you can expect them to work extra hard.

In that case, let's go join the ladies and make some chocolate with them!

Hmm, someone appears to be running around the halls. I urge you to exercise care, Master.

？！

Wh-What's happening? An attack on Chaldea?

They seem to have run into the simulator room. Shall we pursue them?

？！

Understood!

Well, well, Master! I shall be rooting for you, so please go finish this quickly!

Hmm, that was some good exercise, wasn't it Master? However, what is this Servant?

It looks like a Shadow Servant, but with a much paler color...

More than anything

？！

Yes, that's it! I know what they are now

Where? Where is it?

...Oh? The adorable, flustered thing over there is...

Oh my, Master. Say, did you happen to see a chocolate sprinting around here?

？！

A chocolate I said. I am not sure what happened but...

...the chocolate I melted in a bain-marie​ started to fuse together, took human form, and all of a sudden ran away.

It sure is mysterious, isn't it? What should we do, Master?

Oh... Chocolate... ran...away...you say!?

In other words, let's call the entities we've just met "Choco-Servants!"

Now what do I do... I put some a secret spell on it that allows it to turn into a jewel.

？！

Hehehe, if you pour enough love into your chocolate, it's only natural for it to do that.

Please be sure to remember that because it's very important, Master♪

This has turned into an extremely fascinating event, Master!

But please rest assured, Master. I thought something like this might happen!

Prepare for the impossible!

I have called upon some Servants with unusual senses of smell to track down those chocolates.

Let's use their scarily keen senses of smell derived from their unpopulari... I mean jealousy, and take back those chocolates!

？！

Hahahaha, you sure like to jest, Master!

...If I were behind this commotion, I would surely make the chocolate escape with more drama, more tragedy!

Therefore, I promise I am only acting out of the kindness in my heart.

Ah, I can see distrust in my Master's eyes. Heh heh, I guess my legacy can be both good and evil at times!

Ahhh, heaters and blankets are the best on a cold day like this... Good, it feels so good...

I know I have a lot to do, but snuggling in this blanket next to a heater somehow makes me feel like everything will be all right.

Truly, this just feels too good... No wonder humanity has fallen...

Pardon me for interrupting your self-degenerating fantasy, but you really have to stop being useless when we need you.

Ouch, that hurts! That brought me back to reality! Can you stop with the kind of insults that cuts you to the core?

Wait, what? Shakespeare?

Rayshift preparation? Chocolate? Escape? Oh, hold on a moment.

No, wait a minute. What's going on? Eh, eh, eh!?

At least let me fulfill my role as the exposition guy!