A Day in the Life of a May King

It's a rough job. I'd have long since keeled over if I wasn't a Servant.

Who wants refreshments?

Leave 'em on the table. Oh, and go wake Master up in a few.

Why not wake him up yourself?

Well sure, I could, but... You know, it's just...

Hey, I get it.

You feel bad about making him help you with your manga when he's supposed to be on vacation.

Oh, shut up!

All right, if that's what you want, I'll go ahead and wake him.

Hey, Master, it's morning. Up and at 'em.

All right then...

Ora ora ora oraaa!

Hehehehe. Hahahaha! That's all my Doujin Boosters down!

Oh, why did I decide to make it better by adding more pages now!?

That's it, I am already dead! I'm gonna pay for my crimes with my life and be done with it!

That's fine, you can off yourself if you want. I'm all done with my part.

Arigathanks! We've only got three days left!

Die, vacation! Begone, five-star resort hoteNo, wait, that's going too far.

Begone, Singularity!

But don't you think it's nice to work on a final draft while listening to the waves?

Nice and a couple of BB Bucks won't even get you a cup of coffee!

(I see, I see. Looks like things aren't going too smoothly here.)

Next one!

Right.

(Sigh)...

Now that d'Eon is gone, it's all up to me to make sure Jeanne and Marie stay healthy.

But, I'm afraid...

Here!

On it!

...there's almost nothing for me to do!

Don't be silly, Sanson!

Your job is to read the story once we're done with it. It's very important!

Marie's right, Sanson. Hang on, we're almost done.

Make sure you're brutally honest with us, okay?

We want you to point out anything that stands out to you, no matter how small!

...Very well then.

I may not know much about drawing, but I do know a thing or two about anatomy.

Uh, I don't like the sound of that.

I think I'd die of embarrassment if someone pointed out my characters' eyes are too far apart or the like.

(Hmm hmm. Looks like things are going smoothly here...)

Oh no. There's no way this can end well!

Come on, come on, where's the exit!? What am I saying, there's no exits in a hotel hallway! What about the window? ...Crap, I forgot this is the twentieth floor!

Hellooo, everyone in front of the terminal☆

Today, the BB Channel's coming to you live and on the spot via special low-res livestream!

And on that note... Good morning, Robin.

Let me get straight to the point: I want to try some of Luluhawa's famous pancakes, pronto!

Go get me some ASAP, 'kay☆

Naturally, I'll be expecting you to report in on Senpai and Alter's progress too.

So make sure you do your job well.

Unless you want to see how unspeakably awful the punishment I have in mind for you is. In which case, feel free to muck it up as much as you want!

What could be worse than turning me into a pig!?

...(Sigh) What did I ever do to get on that demon's bad side, anyway...?

Dammit, earlier me... Why couldn't you have taken her out when you had the chance...?

Sheesh. But, oh well. Hey, a porridge stand.

Do you see any porridge here!? This is a kykeon stand! Ky-ke-o-n!

Now then, what can I do for you?

Can I get a bowl?

Of what?

What do you mean "which one"? It's porridge. Just gimme a bowl.

You really are an idiot, aren't you.

Would you go to a pizza joint and just order "pizza"? Only a fool would be so vague!

Kykeon's got a ton of different varieties too. Why do you think I made this stand in the first place!?

Ahh... I gotcha. This is one of those professional pride things. (She reminds me a lot of Medea...)

All right then, surprise me.

Hehehe, then I suggest this kykeon I was inspired to make after a visit to my local Buckster's Coffee!

I call it "Kykeon Frappé Garlic Soda Special, with Kykeon Classic Extra Soy Caramel"...

...kykeon!

How about that!? (Smug)

Hell frickin' no! If the name's that much of a mouthful, there's no way I'm trying the dish itself!

Hey, no need to be rude! How'd you like to be turned into a pig!?

...Oh, yeah, that's your Noble Phantasm's thing, isn't it? Turning people into pigs.

Huh...? Y-you mean you actually like pigs?

I, uh...guess it takes all kinds...

I'm getting the feeling we're not even reading from the same book here, let alone being on the same page, but I guess beggars can't be choosers.

Now, shall I compare thee to a spring fairy, milady? There's something I'd like to ask you about...

?

Welcome back, Mr. Robin.

Forget the formalities, Jekyll. I don't need people babying me.

Are you sure? It's not every day you get to stay in a nice hotel like this. Why not treat yourself while you're here?

That's real nice of you, but don't worry about me. I'm enjoying myself plenty.

Sure, my job might suck sometimes, but you can't beat these Luluhawa mornings. What else need be said?

Going for a walk here actually makes my heart skip a beat. Forest life's got nothing on this place.

Oh hey, welcome back, Tristan wannabe.

...Tristan wannabe? Do I even want to know what that's about?

It's simple. You know how you're always out playing with that bird?

I keep telling you guys, it just follows me around for some reason!

And you also know how Hawaii has a lot of Japanese immigrants and tourists? I've actually been teaching myself some stuff during breaks, and I learned that the Japanese word for bird is "tori."

And since you love birds so much, you're a tori stan. Tori stan, Tristan... Perfect, right?

...Anyway, speaking of birds, I also found a shop with a real nice selection of Hawaiian shirts.

Ah, whatever. I don't have any bags for you to carry, so I'm not gonna bother with a tip.

I'm all for not carrying bags, but don't skimp the tip, bro.

You're giving all of England a bad name, you know that!?

How the hell's she still have a job here, Jekyll?

...Well, to be honest, I can understand how Mordred feels.

Every! Single! One of you! Can carry! Your bags! Yourself!

We're fricking Servants, dammit!

But then you've got weak ones like Marie with guys falling all over themselves to carry her bags!

I mean, it doesn't matter for the chump guys since I Clarented their asses, but still.

Now I got nothing to do and no income from tips, so I can't even get myself some kykeon or even eggs freakin' Benedict!

I need me some eats!!!

(Sigh)... I guess I can't expect you to hold out any longer. Okay, here's some allowance. Just

Aw yeah! Time to blow this popsicle stand and get me some real popsicles!

wait until your break time...before...going out...

Man, you've got it rough too, huh?

There we go.

Where the hell've you been!? I need combat reference material! Now!!!

Go ahead and take Fujimaru with you if you want!

Just go out there and pick a fight! I don't care who with! Just get me my reference material!

I'm gonna work on this other part in the meantime. Now hurry up! Go go go!

？！

Emphasis on "sudden."

Yes, it's very sudden...

Well, nothing for it now.

I bet we'll find a taker or two if we put out the word at Waikiki Street.

How do we put out the word?

Eh, I'll figure something out.

We should try for someone simpleminded. Someone who's let the tropical heat really get to them.

Can anyone take my head!?

I'll do it. This won't take long.

I don't know what you're going on about, but if it's a head you need cut off, I can do that.

I would be glad to test my skills and see how quickly I can make you disappear...

I'm surprised to see you putting on an event like this, Robin.

But if we're going to do this, let's do it. Show me what the great May King can really do.

Hm? Hmm?

So aaall I have to do is head your cut off? Okay! (Hic)

...Oh, I ran over here as soon as I heard the word "head." Sorry, just a reflex. I'll, uh, just be on my way then.

Putting Ushiwakamaru aside...

...no way we can take all of you, so we'd appreciate it if you settled on three amongst yourselves.

Hmm, good point. Then we'll do rock paper scissors first.

The last three left standing get to fight.

Very well.

I shall tell you all right now: I will employ scissors.

Hey! No mind games, or we'll be here all day!

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!

All right, your opponents shall be me...

...myself...

...aaand I! (Hic)

I thought the same thing.

I hope it's just rough. I'm seriously starting to worry about my head staying attached to my neck here.

？！

Don't worry, we'll hold back a little. Really. I mean it.

Of course.

Yeah, let's do this thiiing!

Yup, no other choice now. We'll have to use everything we've got.

That's for damn sure. All right then...

？！

Gimme your orders, Master!

That's enough!

M-man, that was too close... Thanks, Beowulf.

No problem. Buy the first round tonight, and we'll call it even.

Did somebody say buy a round!?

You're buying a round for us, Robin!? Luluhawa's got a ton of good, cheap booze!

Hey everyone, listen up!

The May King Robin is buying us all drinks tonight!

Excellent. Then I shall take advantage of the opportunity to explore the flavors of tropical sake.

A-are you sure about this, Robin?

As near as I can tell, everyone here is very good at holding their liquor...

That's one way to put it. This lot drinks so much you could measure their daily liquor intake in gallons!

Guess I'd better start looking for a part-time job...

？！

...! Thank you, Master!