Prologue - Arrest Under the Bridge

Ngh... Well, that was certainly not at all pleasant. Are you all right, Salty Maid? You've not been concussed, have you?

Of course not. Any driver worth her salt knows to wear her seatbelt at all times.

Still, I never expected my seatbelt to tear and then to be thrown from the vehicle. At least it seems the other teams are in a similar predicament.

Uh... I feel dizzy. But, I'm okay...

So Victor's girl is safe. Thank goodness... I guess my decision to revert to my standard form for better shock absorption paid off.

...Not for me it didn't. Getting thrown into this ravine really hasn't done my back any favors, I can tell you that much for certain.

How are Kyogoku and Bailong!?

They're a bit banged up, but they otherwise seem fine. Thank goodness...

Now I wish I'd learned that technique that Ushiwakamaru told me about.

What did she call it...the "reverse ravine drop" I believe? A secret method of descending cliffs on horseback. I believe she used it at Ichi-no-Tani...

Is that the one where your horse uses falling rubble as footholds to break your own fall!? That's awesome!

I'm always falling off of mountains and clouds and stuff, so I'd love to learn how to do that too.

This...has to be the bowels of the earth this time...right?

I'm afraid not. It seems we've merely fallen into a ravine. Here, let me turn on a light so we can see better.

Hold it. If we need light, a fluorescent lamp is what we will use!

...

Let's just use both. This really isn't the time to be arguing among ourselves.

Oho, that ginormous boulder there nearly crushed my head! Talk about ROCKing and rolling!

Rocket... Crash landing... Borked... I feel like I'm on the brink of unlocking some sealed-off memories...but, nope! Can't remember a thing!

I hope Lily, the only Saber I ever let get away, is doing well, wherever she is!

Ow ow ow... I can't believe an incarnation of Horus like me crashed like that!

...No, wait. I'll just say that the god of the underworld has descended upon the earth. Yes, that sounds good.

So, all you spectators looking on, know that this was NOT my fault!

I thought I was going to die.

From now on, I may need to ensure I never cross another bridge without wearing a parachute...

Hmm, so everyone is all right. Good. I knew my rivals would not die so easily.

Unfortunately, our vehicle was not so lucky... I feel responsible...

What happened, anyway? Does anyone know?

Uh. No idea. (Shake)

...!

Everyone...look out! Something is coming this way.

I believe it may be the very thing that slashed the bridge to pieces!

It doesn't even look human!

What is this beast!?

...I feel as though I have seen that wolf before. But, what is that man wearing on his head?

No...it would seem that IS his head!

...

Is that a police siren!?

!

I still don't know what's going on here, but it looks like they have a bone to pick with us!

Umu. This beast has a lovely coat of fur.

However, I once strangled a lion bare-handed! I am well accustomed to dealing with beasts!

I warn you now that your magic will not work on me, no matter how fluffy it may be!

...

(...This creature feels somewhat different from the one I know.)

(His hatred is...lifeless. It has form, but no substance, almost as though he is nothing more than a machine that uses hatred as energy.)

(...And yet, he appears to be more powerful than ever before. What is going on?)

U-uhhh...!

Agh...khh...!

C-curses! If only I could have gotten my arms all the way around his neck...!

Hehehe. Pretty tough, isn't he?

Huh...? You!?

You're...Queen Medb!

Hm? I don't recall meeting such a forgettable character as you before.

Oh well, the fact that I don't feel like hugging you just goes to show you're not worthy of my time.

You seem like you might at least know this much. Tell me... What IS that thing?

Oh, this? This is the very embodiment of what I would consider to be the ultimate attack dog! He is utterly without mercy to anyone who invades my territory!

A perfect soldier I created with a form ideally suited to his role.

He's the perfect security system! The trump card that even I can only ever use once! I call him my Deadly On-Site Groundskeeper: Officer D.O.G. for short!

THAT'S his name!?

... (Gnaw, gnaw)

Yeow! Ow ow ow! Stop that! Even your little nibbles hurt like hell!

Sheesh. I still don't know how something I made myself ended up being so dense about human language.

Hmph. As I suspected, that creature resembles the one I know in power and form only.

That's a security system?

Correct. And a very capable one at that.

As you can see, he's so powerful that even I can only just barely control him.

However, the other side of that particular coin is that he up and disappears once he's sprung into action.

But that's a small price to pay in exchange for rounding up all the criminals causing trouble in my land.

What was that? Did you just call me a criminal?

I, the great Nero Claudius, am prepared to accept being called tyrant, but I will not stand for being referred to as merely a common criminal!

However, if it is a crime to be excessively beautiful, then I must admit that I am indeed guilty as charged!

What the hell are you on about!? This is MY kingdom, the nation of Connacht! You're the ones who've been putting up weird textures left and right without permission!

...!? What do you mean by

Get ready to receive your just deserts! Here's a rope for you, Officer D.O.G!

...Oh, just to be clear, I don't mean the kind of rope I use to spice things up in the boudoir now and then. Sorry to get you all excited for nothing.

Uh... Temporary...drop...in performance. Need...time...to recover...

Good night.

Ngh. My body still won't move right!

Okay, all done. Who's a good, hardworking boy? I'll let my Celtic warriors take it from here.

Here you go, I haven't forgotten your meaty treat reward. How do you like Connacht's finest beef?

(Gnaw, gnaw)

What are you going to do with us?

Teeheehee. Do you want to know?

The answer should be obvious I'm surprised you even have to ask! There's a perfect place just for criminals like you, after all.

Thank goodness Ishtar brought us to this ravine. Let's hurry, Master!

Fou fou!

？！

...! Look, over there!

All right. I've captured all the criminals and had their weird vehicles impounded. Looks like my work here is done.

Another task completed flawlessly, as befits a queen of my caliber... Hm?

Master, there's no sign of the racers anywhere. The only one here is Medb!

And I don't think she's the same Medb we know.

Who're you two? I don't recognize either of you.

(...! Master, I just noticed something else.)

(Ishtar was here with us just a moment ago, but now she's nowhere to be found!)

(If we tried to fight Medb now, we'd be at a great disadvantage without Ishtar's help. Please do your best not to provoke her!)

？！

Hmm. Going for a hike in a ravine like this, eh. Well, it's not the weirdest hobby ever.

Eh, to each their own. Not really my thing, but I certainly approve of an active lifestyle.

You also look to be perfectly ordinary humans, so I'll be nice and spare you the usual arrest and interrogation.

Still, I should probably make sure of one thing.

You ARE one of my citizens, right? Isn't there something you're supposed to say to me?

？！

Very good! That settles it; you are definitely my loyal citizens.

(Is that really a reliable way to test things like that?)

？！

You bet I did. There was a group of hooligans running wild all over the place recently. I'm sure you heard their commotion for yourselves!

How dare they go and throw a festival without my permission, and a race at that! Don't they know that I hold the exclusive patent on war vehicles!?

Anyway, you don't have to worry about them anymore. I've apprehended them all and sent them away!

Exactly the sort of thing you'd expect from your amazing and amazingly capable queen, right? Keep that in mind when paying your taxes this year♡

Wh-where exactly did you send them?

Where else? The detention center at Connacht Castle for those who pose a threat to our great nation.

Once a criminal sets foot there, they'll never see the light of day again, not until the end of their sentence!

It's Connacht's ultimate correctional facility, and it is utterly escape-proof... Medb Penitentiary!