03: An Impermanent M&A

Man, now that we've taken out Sensei's factory, our Restoration Manjyu are selling better than ever.

Some of my old employees even came back now that they're no longer under the Yoshida Concern's brainwashing. Everything's coming up roses for us.

Is our victory still rewarding, knowing it came from burning our competitor down rather than making a superior product?

Hey, it's like they've always said: history is written by the victors.

You got that right. No point in fighting a war unless you win.

See? You get it.

Now, if my company keeps firing on all cylinders like this...

...it's gonna go bankrupt.

Huh? So we're gonna go under even though we're making money hand over fist?

Have you ever heard the phrase "cash flow insolvency"?

No, I cannot say I have.

Well, basically what it means is that we're having trouble actually collecting the money we're making from our sales.

We got carried away and spread ourselves too thin too quickly. We've got too many customers to keep up with all the paperwork.

Here, Kojirou. This is a list of all our customers who still owe us for shipments.

Go pay them a visit and see that they pay up in turn.

So you wish for me to play debt collector? I cannot imagine that will go well.

Is that big sword on your back just for show? Do whatever it takes, even if you have to scare 'em a bit.

Don't worry. Your Shinsengumi friends used to do the same thing.

Good grief, so I've been reduced to using my katana to collect debts. Knowing how I will be hated for this makes it hurt more.

Hektor, you know anyone who's good with numbers? Or even better, are you?

No, unfortunately. I'm damn good at holding down a fort, but I don't know the first thing about running a business.

How about you? You learned math in school, right?

Really? What are schools in the future even doing?

That's okay, I didn't, either. I dropped out well before graduation.

？！

Well, I don't really know what we're going to do. I've never been the most detail-oriented guy.

Hell, one of the reasons we're in this mess now is because I keep going, "Eh, whatever" and making a bunch of mistakes.

And you're not ashamed to admit that?

Oh, shut up. My point is, we need more personnel, and we need them fast.

Would've been great if there'd been a numbers expert among my old employees, but most of them are just fighters.

Man, what're we gonna do?

Do my ears deceive me, or are you all in need of assistance!?

You! ...Who are you again?

The one who's going to utterly end you, you pathetic excuse for a president.

？！

It's good to see you doing well too, Lord Fujimaru.

Who's this now?

Just a traveling performer. Oh, come to think of it, you were also good at office work, weren't you?

Huh!? "Just a traveling performer"!? That's all you have to say? Have you lost your mind, you pathetic excuse for a president!?

I was expecting something like, "What are you doing here!?" or, "Okuni! I've missed you!"

Don't you think we have a lot of catching up to do!?

No, wait, hang on. How is such a pathetic president even alive? Was my dance of repose all for nothing?

？！

Eh, you probably just wandered into this Singularity during your travels, like you did last time.

Well, no matter. I want you to handle all our office work from now on.

Ugh, you really are the worst.

Still, it does seem like you could use the help as well, Lord Fujimaru.

I learned my lesson about exclusive contracts during the last incident, so you'll have to pay me in cash on a daily basis.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get to work already.

You're good with those terms? Okay then, just leave it to me!

Wake up, Zanzaburo! It's time for your capable clerk mode!

Zan zazan!

Hold up. You mean that overgrown puppet could do that the whole time!?

Zanzaburo may not look it, but he has godlike calculation capabilities. I use them for all Okuni Show-related accounting.

All right, let's go, Zanzaburo! We have a lot of tidying up to do around here!

Zarithmetic!

...Not "arithmetic"?

Damn, he's a lot faster than I was expecting. He seems way more capable than you, Okuni.

I'm starting to think I should've made the contract with him instead of you.

Shut it, Prez! He's only this fast because of my expert puppeteering skills!

All right then, I've got some urgent business talks to attend to, so I'm gonna head out and leave this in your capable hands.

Hold down the fort while I'm gone, everyone.

Sure thing, Prez. We've got this.

...

How are things going at Takasugi Industries, Emiya Alter?

They're increasing their workforce, but their organization's still a mess. They put up a good front, but they're not exactly ironclad.

I see. Well, either way, they won't be able to accomplish anything.

...I said they put up a good front. I wouldn't underestimate them if I were you.

Hmm, by which you mean I shouldn't take the mage of Chaldea lightly, right? Thank you for your advice.

Chairman, I have a report!

What is it? Is Takasugi Industries trying a new ploy?

N-no, it's not them! It's a startup called "Honnoji International"!

Honnoji...International?

You were right, my lord! They're practically flying off the shelves!

Wahahaha! I don't know the first thing about business, but I'm not surprised I have a knack for it!

I figured people were getting tired of sweets like manjyu and daifuku, and lo and behold, my rice crackers smothered in soy sauce have been a huge hit.

I call them..."Nobunaga's Smashing Senbei"!

Oda Nobunaga founded a startup? Emiya Alter, is this what you meant by

... (Bewildered beyond belief)

Are you all right, Emiya Alter? You look like you've seen a ghost.

...I'm fine. At least, I am now. Yes, that's another Chaldean Servant.

But instead of meeting up with the others, he apparently went and started his own company. Surprised? I am, too.

Hmm, it's probably because of my daifuku.

Its adoration effect doesn't work well on people who are, well, more charismatic than I am.

So either the effect went awry, or he's simply running amok.

Awry, huh... If so, that'll be a relief. I'd hate to think that's what he's really like.

And if he's running amok, then he won't be anything you have to worry about, since he won't be able to touch you, just like I can't.

I do feel bad that I've conscripted you into working for me.

You mean using the Holy Grail to force me into doing your bidding? Yeah, I bet you do.

At any rate, I'm surprised to see Oda Nobunaga show up here, too.

I think I'll meet with him myself. I may never get another chance.

Gotta say, it doesn't seem like a great idea for the top executive to personally attend to every matter, like the recent factory incident.

I'm afraid it's just in my nature. I can't just take the word of another. I need to see these things for myself.

What about protection?

Oh, I'll be fine. Times like these, it's best to go in empty-handed.

...

So you're Yoshida Shouin of the Yoshida Concern?

And you must be Lord Oda Nobunaga, head of Honnoji International.

Oh, I'm not Nobunaga. I'm Kippoushi.

Well, I actually AM Nobunaga, but between the yappy one and the big one, it gets confusing who's who, so I just go by "Kippoushi."

Oh no. I could tell right away that you are the Lord Nobunaga who carved his name so indelibly on the tapestry of history.

I've never seen eyes burning with such fire before. You truly are the conqueror of the Warring States.

Yeah, I know, right!? I'm exactly what people picture when they hear the name "Oda Nobunaga."

In fact, I've been thinking the yappy one and the big one really ought to tone it down.

Anyway, you're proposing a business partnership between our companies?

That's right. If we combine my company's sweet daifuku with your salty senbei...

...we could obliterate our competitor and completely dominate this market.

Complete domination, huh? And is this the competitor we'd be obliterating?

I'm surprised to see you here too, Shouin-sensei.

Oh, it's you. Still quick to act, if nothing else, I see.

So you two know each other? Since you called him "sensei," I guess that makes you his student?

FORMER student. But we're definitely competitors now, if not outright enemies. So, what do you say?

Is Honnoji International going to partner with Takasugi Industries, or the Yoshida Concern?

Not that I need to ask, of course. I already know the answer.

Wahahahaha! You've got guts, being so rude to me! Lucky for you, I like guts.

...

Sorry, Shouin-sensei. You should've tried to get here soone

I'm gonna partner with this Yoshida guy.

There you have it. Together, Nobunaga and I are going to dominate SAITA

Wait. What did you say!?

I said, I'm gonna partner with this Yoshida guy.

Huh? You can't be serious. I mean, you're a Chaldean Servant too, right?

Then you should be teaming up with me so we can band together against the evil secret society!

Huh? You're an evil secret society?

I suppose it may seem that way to some people. But couldn't the same be said of Takasugi Industries?

Wait. Is this the daifuku talking? 'Cause if it is, you're playing right into Shouin-sensei's hands.

Those things have a brainwashing effect on anyone who eats them.

Nah, I didn't make this call 'cause I was brainwashed. It's all because...

What? Because what?

Because teaming up with you...

...doesn't really seem like it'd be any fun.

Phew... Okay, our office is looking much more tidy now.

But I still can't believe you let things get to this point in the first place! How could you slack off THIS badly!?

Ahahaha, I guess running a country and running a company really are different. I'm sorry.

Oh, mind if I smoke?

There! Right there! Cigarettes are NOT a legitimate business expense.

And while we're talking about expenses, how the hell do you justify fertilizer and vegetable seeds!?

Oh, those were for Kojirou's home garden. You should try his pickled veggies sometime.

A home garden isn't a business expense, either!

I swear, Lord Fujimaru, you really need to do a better job of keeping your employees in line.

How do you expect to grow your business if you can't manage it properly?

Ugh, you can be such a handful.

No, they don't!

？！

Anyway... Lord Fujimaru, and the gentleman over there, too.

May I talk to you for a moment?

Oh yeah, guess I never did introduce myself, huh? I'm Hektor of Troy, a Lancer.

So, now that that's been remedied, what'd you want to talk to us about?

Well, putting the cigarettes and home garden stuff aside...

...I found a lot of expenditures in this ledger that haven't been accounted for. Do you know anything about them?

Undocumented expenditures, huh? Any idea, Master?

？！

Oh my... That doesn't sound good.

Zan.