Lake Panic...Or Some Sort of Prologue for Something

Heh heh heh.

Behold this beautiful lakeside, in many ways the equal of Lake Nemi! Behold these tranquil woods pulsing with life given by Diana herself!

Who, you may ask, will be taking the center of this glorious natural stage today? Why...

Me, of course!

Umu, this should be a fine lake upon which to erect my (freshwater) golden amphitheater and perform a concert.

I especially look forward to seeing these placid waters churned into squalls by the thunderous applause I am sure to receive.

Yes, I suppose it may be somewhat dangerous, but one does not attend a concert atop a lake without expecting to get at least a bit wet.

At any rate, I have made my decision. Today, I will thrill my adoring fans even more than usual with an exceptionally hard-rocking setlist!

Teehee, you're always in such good spirits, Your Imperial Majesty! I have so much fun just watching you in action!

(When did she plan this laketop concert? I don't recall it being part of the schedule...)

What a grand party. These celebrity cruises are always so very elegant.

Teehee, it seems there's something to be said for high society on the water.

Ah, sipping wine on a gently rocking boat. Exquisite.

Sipping's good, but you haven't lived until you've chugged an entire bottle of rum.

Yep, and when you're on a ship like this is the very best time to go all out.

However, since I was a captain myself, I should warn you: this gentle swaying will only last as long as the ship isn't moving.

As soon as the empress's rehearsal begins, I'm going to get us as far away from here as I possibly can.

That should be a pretty thrilling ride in itself.

Ooh, that DOES sound like fun! I'll have to make sure the wind doesn't blow my hat off.

All that aside... This Singularity seems perfectly peaceful right now.

It's hard to believe it's supposed to be a whole world of horror and death.

Maybe it's because it's still daytime?

Yeah. I don't know much about this stuff myself, but I get the sense horror is more of a nighttime thing.

Not necessarily. While I have yet to see it myself, I am told there is plenty of horror to be found by the water, even during the day.

Hehe. In fact, that is what I am waiting for...

...the genre is replete with powerful enemies of every stripe.

Impossibly huge creatures... Creatures that fly... that hide in sand... Creatures with two heads...

Such creatures do seem to come mainly from the ocean, but surely there is no rule saying they cannot make their homes in a lake.

...What. Is. That?

Oh yes, I also need to decide who will handle which aspects of the production. I think I will have me do the singing, myself will manage the direction, and I will take care of the staging.

Why, look at that! I am handling everything! Umu, I always knew I was both an impeccable genius AND a hard worker!

Now then, let me see... Ah yes. Just when I and my adoring Romans have settled into a groove around the thirty-forth song...

That is when I will begin a new song about night with an accompanying fireworks display! Followed immediately by blasting rose petals all over the audience!

Then I will fill the arena with smoke to create a sea of clouds, hit it with blue spotlights, and make it seem as though we have all taken flight!

Indeed, I doubt there is any other genius who has ever lived who would think to let their audience experience a voyage across the sky while remaining atop a lake.

Why, I may just need to keep the show going for even days straight before my audience's Nerodoration (short for "Nero+adoration") settles down enough for them toHm?

Hmm? What is that?

Whatever it is, it is triangular... And getting steadily closer...

Aaaaaah!

What is that!? A freshwater fan of mine!? But I have not even begun my rehearsal yet!

Oh my, what a big sharkie!

A shark? In a lake!?

...Wait. Sharks are fish... Fish make caviar... Caviar sells for big doubloons...

...Oh. Right. Only sturgeons make caviar, and that's obviously a great white. Never mind.

At last!

What!? Why would you dive INTO the water right now!? Don't tell me you want to fight that thing!

Of course! Why would I let it go now that it has finally shown itself!? Now, face me, king of horror and the ocean!

Maybe you should think about coming back on land first?

Hey! Stop that!

My (freshwater) golden amphitheater may be stable enough to withstand some impacts thanks to its maneuverability-focused design, but

Glub glub glub.

How dare you!? I have never seen such a rude concertgoer in all my life!

Wait right there! I will put you in the same choke hold I once famously used to strangle a lion with my bare hands

Oh, it seems they went that way. (Sigh) There are few things in life more disappointing than fickle fans.

It just rammed our ship and made a big hole in the hull!

Crap! We're taking on water!

Hm, I wonder if my Iron Maiden can transform into a boat as well as a car. I knew I should have made some adjustments...

Then again, a jet ski would be lovely, too. That would suit a beautiful phantom thief perfectly.

So, um... Does this mean this ship is going to sink? In this lake with the big sharkie in it?

Yep. Get ready to swim for the shore like your lives depend on it, because...they do.

Say, do we have any oxygen tanks we could feed it? You know? Like in that one movie? That'd be really cool to try.

What are you all still doing there? Don't tell me you can't even run on water?

And you can!? Ugh, this is exactly why I hate heroes from the Age of Gods!

I see. Very well then, I will just have to fling you all to shore with my spear.

Uh... How's that gonna work, exactly?

First, I will hang your swimsuits on my spear ↓

Then I will do my Gáe Bolg thing ↓

My spear will fly to the shore, taking you with it ↓

I will then have saved all your lives. The end.

That right there is what we hate!

(Sigh...)

(Faraway look)

Oh Reece XP. Wherever she is, I hope she's happy...

Oh, what am I saying. Of course she is. Besides, there was no other choice. Nature had to take its course.

Yes...that was the happiest farewell I could have asked for.

So I'm sure this was for the best. It had to be...

Hm?

Yo, Jeanne Alter, your big sis's bein' weird and mumbling a bunch again. You sure she's okay?

Also, did you hear those screams coming from the lake just now? We should go check that out.

... ...

Uh, Alter?

I... I just remembered...

Huh?

My big sister...isn't my goddamn big sister!!!

Sh-she isn't!?