Final Section: Epilogue

It sounds like this summer turned out to be a great adventure.

I heard there were even dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs, huh... I sure would've liked to see them.

There's video footage.

If I wanted to see video of dinosaurs, I could just watch a movie!

Honestly, it really wasn't that big of a deal.

It was rough, and scaly, and it burped when it ate...

Stiiill...I GUESS it was technically a precious, invaluable, one-in-a-million-LIFETIMES experience?

But really, in the grand scheme of things, it was noooooo big deal at all!

(Wh-whoa! A textbook FOMO-inducing humblebrag!)

... ...

(Yikes. If looks could kill, he'd be a goner.)

...Okay, Sieg. Let's hit him until we feel better.

What? Just hit him over and over? That's terrible. I'm in.

Great! Let's do it.

Let's!

Gaaah!!!

Ahh, what a delightful scene.

How noble of Lord Blackbeard to knowingly make himself the target for those who missed the experience to vent their frustrations upon.

Uh, I don't know. I'm not so sure this is what he had in mind...

And that's the long and short of it!

I see. It sounds as though you had quite the adventure, Achilles.

Sure did!

Well hang on. Who's the pirate that hid them seven treasures in the first place?

Eh, I say pirate, but sounds like they mighta been more of a mage.

Yes, I wonder about that, too. ...It couldn't have been Blackbeard or you, right?

Of course not.

We didn't have nearly enough time on our hands to get up to anything that elaborate.

True, I guess you would need a lot of time to pull something like that off.

It's also unusual for anyone from that place and time period to know that much about Japan.

I guess they couldn't have been a famous pirate, then. They must have been a complete unknown...the kind you might find just about anywhere.

... ...Unknown, huh...

We're the Small-Time Pirates, and we're gonna reclaim the Golden Age of Piracy ourselves!

You again? Go on, get outta here! This is MY island, ye hear!?

I couldn't have found ye at a better time!

I couldn't believe it when I saw that thing movin' in the cave... What a time ta be alive!

Is something wrong, Achilles?

Uh... Hey, Teacher? There're a number of other names for mages, right?

Oh yes. Just off the top of my head...

You have wizard, sorcerer, enchanter...

There are even some names that convey what type of magecraft a particular mage specializes in.

Such as necromancers, who can control dead bodies and spirits... And conjurers, who can summon living spirits and demons.

Conjurer... C... C...

That's right, it's me! Pirate C!

... ...Nah. It couldn't be.

Hm?

It's nothing. Oh, another subject: Big Sis?

Please don't call me that. It feels like a very loaded term. Anyway, what is it?

This Tarasque never moves a muscle when I leave him to his own devices. Do you think he's okay?

Sounds like he could use a bit of a workout. Okay, I'll make him boxercise!

(How?)

(When're you gonna understand, Big Sis? I'm a Tarasque. I don't need to learn how to box.)

"Heaven helps those who help themselves." That may not come from the bible, but there's still a lot of truth to it!

In other words, only those who work as hard as they can will be blessed with good fortune. Now come on!

...So that's what it was like.

Did I do okay?

You sure did.

It sounds like you did the boiler room's new-swimsuit crowd proud!

As a former member myself, I couldn't be happier!

Hahaha, you used to be a member? Could've fooled me. Well, then again, maybe I can see it.

Anyway, isn't it kind of crowded in here? Even our old base was roomier.

Hey, my castle in Azuchi was even better!

Still, you've got a point. It is getting pretty cramped in here what with all this...excess.

Maybe it's time we started taking over the other boiler room, or even the storeroom!

Just don't forget, you're not Serizawa. Don't blame me if you get in trouble.

All I know is, I'm exhausted. I'm going to rest up for a while, Wielder.

Wake me up in about a year.

A year, huh... I gotcha. You're aiming to come back for the revival!

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Hey, Okita.

Me?

What is it?

...There's something about the way you talk that really throws me off.

It's almost like you're...

Eh, never mind.

Did you enjoy yourself?

Oh yes, very much.

It was a wonderful experience.

Good. Glad to hear it.

Thanks for waiting, everyone!

Captain Okita J. Souji is back and ready for summer!

Wouldn't you know it, my jetpack's been acting up lately! I almost died!

I tried asking XX for help...

...but the only "advice" she had for me was to plug it in for a while.

But I managed to get it working in the end!

Now come on! It's finally time for summer vacation!

And Okita J. Souji here is gonna light up the sky with her daring aerobatics once again!

Um... Okita J. Souji?

Summer's over. You missed it.

Ahahaha. Oh Nobbu, you kidder.

...

...Wait. You're serious?

I'm afraid she is, Okita.

As serious as you are with that outfit.

Honestly, speaking as your colleague, I have to wonder what you were thinking.

I-it can't be...

What about my grand plan for great victory by having a tête-à-tête with Master in the Caribbean skies!?

...Okita.

N-no, it's okay, Mr. Hijikata... You don't have to console me.

Especially not with chilled pickles!

...Your jetpack's too loud. Keep it down.

Waaah! I hate you, Mr. Hijikata! You big doodyhead!

Just you wait! I'm gonna tell Master aaall about the times I used to pound you into the ground back when you were so weak you could barely hold a sword!

D-don't worry, other me. I'll tell you about the fun memories I made in the Caribbean, so it'll feel like you were there, too.

Th-thanks, Alter me... By the way, why do you sound so...polite?

And wait. Is that...a swimsuit!?

Wh-when did you get a swimsuit of your own!?

And that aura... Am I sensing FIVE stars!? Nooo! How did this happen!? I'm the original, dammit!

You know, I've been wondering for a while now: Are you really my wielder's original?

Well, that's rude. There's an "Alter" in her name for a reason, you know.

Wait. Who's this kid again? She's weirdly cute, but she's also kind of cheeky.

...I'm sorry, Okita. I should've told you sooner. This is the child you never knew you had.

Go on, honey. Say hi to your mama.

Stop that.

Whaaaaaaaaa...!?!?!?

What in the world is even happeniiing!?

Is this how things usually go around here, Okita's Alter?

...Yes, it is!

Phew.

My, my. You seem exhausted.

I just fought off an army of me. I still don't know how I feel about it.

The fighting alone was rough, but thinking about the different, uh, possibilities they offered wore me out even more.

Ah yes, I heard. Mass-produced Columbuses! Whatever will they think of next!?

I'm even told there was a very young version of you there running the operation!

I don't know about that.

Sure, that kid looked like me.

But I don't remember ever arguing with Da Vinci as a kid when I was alive... Least, I don't think so?

So then, was he an imposter?

Not sure about that, either. That kid was no one, but he could've been anyone.

I mean, any kid chasing their dreams would have a lot in common with him.

Or, looking at it a different way:

It could be that, anyone who chases their dreams no matter what people tell them can become me.

Hmm.

Well, I can't imagine there are too many people out there who aspire to be like you!

Hah hah haaa! You don't have to be THAT honest!

'Sup, Kaorucchi! If beauty were a crime, you'd be doin' twenty-five to life! C'mon, girl, let's all go hit up the beach!

As, um, tempting as that offer is...

I still have my librarian duties to attend to, as well as my own personal deadlines.

So I'm afraid I'll, um, have to take a rain check...

Aww, don't be like that.

Yeah, don't be like that.

Heck, forget the simulator. We could even take this occasion to find a minute Singularity with a beach.

I-I don't think that's a good idea!

So if you really don't wanna go, how come you're wearing your swimsuit!?

I am!?

O-oh gosh, I didn't even realize!

Heh... Your mouth may be saying no to a vacation, but your body is clearly saying yes. Listen to it!

Now c'mon! The ocean's not gonna play in itself!

D-do you really think so...?

(...Hey, Tomoe. Bet you three thousand QP they browbeat her into going.)

(I am sorry, Lady Yu Mei-ren, but I would never take such a bet!)

(Yeah, that tracks.)

...Oh, right!

What about you two, Lady Yu Mei-ren? Lady Tomoe? Are you planning to go?

(Aw crap, she roped us in!)

I-I do not think going to a Singularity is a good idea.

Hmm, guess we can make do with the simulator then. Nobody'll have a problem with that, right?

Okay, then let's get going! We're gonna have the time of our lives!

... ...

(Sigh...)

Welp, here we are...

Woohooo!

Oho, I'll get you for that! Water Bullet!

Yeow ow ow! The heck was that!? Did you put rocks in it or something!?

That splash felt more like a shotgun blast.

People overthink things too much. They should just give everything their all and worry about the consequences later.

Okay, my turn now. Un, deux, trois!

It's a dove!

Interesting... Hey, can you pull Lord Xiang Yu out of there next?

Um... Sorry, but magicians don't take requests.

Move aside, losers! That wave's got my name on it!

Ah! I've been looking all over for you, Mordred! Who said you could take Prydwen out!?

N-now, now, let's just

Woooooo!

Not bad, Mordred!

Hey, Sea Serpent! You better not let a damn surfboard get the better of you!

Hahaaa!

Sorry, but this ain't no ordinary surfboard!

Prydwen here's both a ship and a shield!

You had that while you were alive?

I stole it from the treasury!

Kick ass!

Right!?

Sure, they almost flayed me alive when I got caught, but screw it, who cares!?

Really?

Oh, hey, that's one of the Japanese Servants. What was her name again? Tomoe?

...What is she now, a Saber?

Yeah, I think so. What about her?

Hey, Tomoe! Let's have a chambara match!

E-excuse me!?

I'll go first! Here goes!

Just like that!? ...Well, all right! That does make things simple!

Damn, she slipped right into combat mode in no time. Guess she really is a musclehead at heart.

Ahaha...

Say, now that I think of it...

Hm?

Yes?

Either of you ever get up to anything with Fujimaru?

!!!

...I choose to exercise my right to remain silent.

L-likewise.

(So, no then.)

Get up to anything with Chan-mas? I did!

This one time, me, Chan-mas, and a bunch of others all snuck out late to go night fishing.

Beardie got drunk and took off his clothes, and we buried Ricacchi in the sand after he fell asleep... It was crazy!

Wahaha, that might be the best memory I've got of this whole summer!

...We are talking about romantic happenings, right? Not funny ones?

I'd also count torrid ones, like the kind of thing Anne and Mary would get up to.

Definitely none of those!

Oh hey, speaking of Chan-mas...

Anyone seen him around today?

I noticed he was very busy with something this morning, but I haven't seen him since.

I thought about inviting Kamacho too, but I couldn't find her anywhere, either.

So maybe, just maybe...

...they're off somewhere, just the two of them?

Huh!?

...So, here we are.

I'm glad you're keeping your promise to hang out with me here, but...

...is something wrong? You keep checking your watch.

？！

Never mind that. We're here to be lazy.

Besides.

Which is more important, me, or work? Me. The answer is me.

If you have to ask whether you should choose me, work, or anything else, the answer is always me.

Although... Hmm. Okay. I understand now, Master.

？！

Why you've been looking so uncomfortable.

For once, Mash isn't here, so you feel like you're cheating on her!

？！

Sure it is. Hey, it's okay. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

There was simply nothing you could do to resist the demon king of depravity's overwhelming charms.

Although, now that I think of it, I don't believe I've seen Mash today.

？！

Ahh, that explains it. But then, why

... ...

？！

... ...

Oh, that?

Aaanyway, why

Master. I assure you, I have repented deeply, and I see the error of my ways.

So would you be so kind as to release me from this buried jar?

Hehehehe. Not happening.

I promise you I'll make it worth your valuable time as well, my most compassionate Lady Kama.

Oh really? Because I don't think there's anything you have that I want.

Mmm? Let me think...

What about a curse that is guaranteed to drive Master to insanity?

Or, alternatively, I could pass on a mind reading technique imparted to me by that accursed Seimei himself, which would let you know exactly what, shall we say, floats Master's boat...

Oho, interesting. One downside to being a demon king practically bursting with indomitable power is that I'm less versed in underhanded tricks like that.

I suppose there's no harm in solidifying my hold over Master once I've inevitably dragged him into depravity.

Go on. I'm listening!

Oh, um, of course.

(I understand how this sounds under the circumstances, Master, but isn't she a bit too gullible?)

(I see...)

(I see... Hehe, take care not to get burned playing with that particular fire, Master. Hehehehe.)

？！

Well? What're you waiting for!?

Understood. Then without further ado...

O door to Master's mind, reveal your secret garden...

Mmm...

... ...

Mmm... Oh?

Oh my, could this be? I can't believe it. Mmmmmm...

Hurry up and spill it.

Very well. It is all very complicated, but to summarize, Master's heart is...

...unknowable!

Huh!?

Why, you ask? Why is the heart unknowable? Why do people fight? Why is the universe so vast, and the truth so hard to find?

Mmmmmm... The answer is...!

Yes!?

Because Master just ran away as fast as he could.

Magnanimous as Master is, it seems even he was reluctant to have his mind laid bare. My humblest apologies.

Aah, you're right! He's making a break for it!

Dammit, maybe I should've put some shackles on him in real life first...

Why are you looking at me like that? It's a well-known trope that demon kings kidnap damsels, right?

So why should I be any exception? Anyway, I'd better go after him!

... ...

But I'm still stuck in here!

How'd I do?

Your Spirit Origin's in good condition... Your connection to the Shadow Border is still strong...

And all systems are green.

That should be everything. Thank you, Da Vinci.

Yeah? That's great! I mean, I could have told you I was feeling good, but still.

Hahaha. It sounds as though you had quite the grand adventure, Da Vinci.

I sure did. And you better be ready to hear all about it!

Fou fou!

Fou? Oh, Senpai! It's nice to see you her

...Are you okay? You look very tired.

？！

Well, that's a relief.

Oh hey, you're here too, Fujimaru? That's perfect.

Now we can both tell Holmes about our summer adventure.

Yes, we would love to tell you all about it, Holmes!

Delightful. I was just thinking how nice it would be to discuss something other than mysteries for once.

I trust you have no objections, Director?

It's fine with me. However...

Don't think this will get you out of writing your usual report, Fujimaru.

？！

You see!? This is why I mentioned it!

？！

Absolutely not. That would be like a student asking their teacher to help them on the teacher's own test!

It's okay, Senpai. I'll help you!

Fine, Kyrielight. Just make sure you don't end up writing the whole thing for him.

Urk.

Oh, for...

Now, now, Director.

Why don't we forget about work for today and just enjoy telling him the story of our adventure?

Come on, please?

...Well, all right.

Oh! I'll go make drinks. What would everyone prefer, tea or coffee?

Tea for me, please.

Coming right up!

Okay, where should we begin?

Maybe it's best if we just start at the beginning?

A long time ago, in a place far away...