Green Kitchen II

Good, that's enough supplies. We could just take them back to the Maanna now, but then again...

Yeah... We can't just leave one of the Six Blades behind when he's right here in front of us.

I feel a little bad doing this to Gawain, but I think we'd better go on one last hunt before we leave☆

Oh well! Whoever we're up against now, it doesn't change the fact that this colony was a lot of fun!

...!

W-well of course. I mean, as the goddess of justice, I pretty much have to help those who can't help themselves, like a certain Master I could name.

You know, if it wasn't for me (read: you), you (read: I) would've died back on Texas Beyond.

So you better appreciate that.

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So, uh, I know this might be kind of beside the point now, but...

What did you think when you found out I was half of a goddess? It probably creeped you out a bit, right?

Like, maybe you thought I was gross, or a relic, or wondered why I'd pretend to be a Servant at all...

I mean, you must've felt SOMETHING along those lines, right?

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Never mind! Forget I said anything!

Anyway, we'd better catch up to Jane and X. Come on, Fujimaru.

I'll never forget that look on his face as long as I live.

It was...so clear that he trusted me implicitly. So much more than I deserved.

...Hehe. Never mind that he's a little... Okay, a lot useless!

Welcome back, chirp. I see you managed to find all the ingredients you need, chirp.

Um...why are you chirping?

Ah, my apologies. I'm afraid I'm still getting used to working in the service industry, so it just slipped out.

All right, please have a seat at your table, and I'll get to work on your ingredients.

Oh, but first, in order for us to better prepare your ingredients to suit your personal tastes...

...I would like you all to answer a short questionnaire.

Question One: What are your best attacks?

Huh? Uh, Buster, I guess? I like red.

Question Two: What is your preferred battle tactic?

Hmm. Buffing, maybe?

I definitely like raising my own spirits more than I like bumming out my opponents!

Question Three: What are your weaknesses?

Casters and Archers, of course! After all, I'm a Saber!

Thank you for answering honestly. Your food will be ready shortly.

On my honor as Gawain, Sword of the Sun and tributary of the Space Shinkageryu, I vow you will not leave unsatisfied.

Oh yes, if the food should happen to get here first, please feel free to go ahead and dig in.

At Green Jigoku Kitchen, we put the customer first. We're not in the habit of policing your table manners!

Huh? Hang on. Did he say Jigoku Kitchen? And now that I think about it, this decor is... Wait. Could it be...?

Well, he's off to cook... Although, I wonder what he meant by "if the food gets here first"?

Well, Gawain can be kind of an airhead. He probably just misspo

Gourrrrrrmeeeeeet!!!

The food!

Got here first!?

Oh man, it looks so good...

I only wish these chills that've been running down my spine for so long weren't ruining my appetite...

That's not the problem, X! Our food wants to eat US!

Oh, that? Well, it has been prepared British style, so that's no surprise.

I see that even without his memories, Gawain's mashing skills are as good as ever.

Seriously, what in the Servantverse is wrong with Planet Britain!?

There will be time to be appalled later!

Come on guys, let's show this meal who's on top of the food chain! And no, I can't believe what I'm saying either!

Stop, stop! We got so carried away that we ended up taking out the chef too!

All right, it's beyond obvious at this point, but just to make sure...

You're one of Space Shinkageryu's Six Blades, aren't you!?

Huh? No, milady, I am but a humble chef. Indeed, I've never even heard of such a position.

Oh come on! Just look at all those badges you're wearing!

These? These are nothing more than a symbol of the many Dislikes the madam so kindly gave me.

Oh crap, really...!? I'm so sorry! Are you okay? You're not hurt TOO badly, right!?

Please, you need not concern yourselves with me. You all fought wonderfully...

Even when confronted with your greatest weaknesses, you persevered and emerged triumphant...

I could ask for no greater customers with which to enjoy the Servantverse's greatest food... Bon...appétit!

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Th-th-that sound of wooden sandals... I knew it!

What's all this commotion in my lobby about, chirp? Did Sir Gawain ruin another meal?

Well now. I don't believe we've had the pleasure, chirp.

I'm Beni-Enma, the space sparrow in charge of this inn.

How good of you to come to our little restaurant all this way out on the space frontier.

As one of Space Shinkageryu's Six Blades and the wielder of the Proprietor Sword, chirp, I am pleased to welcome you.

Hm? What's wrong, X?

Why did you pull your hat down over your eyes and wrap your scarf around your face?

X? I'm not X. I'm Z. I'm only wearing blue because, um, I'm the player two palette swap.

...(Sigh) I thought you looked familiar, chirp.

You're the girl who failed my crash course in junk food.

You've got gutsor should I say, nerves, lying to my face like that.

All right, stick out your tongue. I'm going to use it to demonstrate Space Enjaku Battoujutsu Technique Thirty-Four:

"Cutting a Sausage to Look Like an Octopus"!

Wait! I was just dreaming, or rather, wishing that were reality! Please, try not to see it as actually lying!

...Hmm. It seems you were speaking the truth there, chirp.

Very well, given our history, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.

You weren't the first student I've had who signed up for my course thinking junk food would be easy to make in large quantities...

...but you were definitely the first, and last, student I ever taught who thought to "taste test" every single space potato before even cooking them.

What!? That's terrible! Don't you know it's dangerous to eat space potatoes raw!?

Yes, I do know, which is why I always cook them now! I didn't attend Ms. Beni's classes for nothing!

Really? The same girl who used to ignore my one-hundred-percent foolproof manual in favor of "winging it..."

...meaning she'd just eat the ingredients because she couldn't make any actual dishes...learned how to use heat?

This may just call for a refresher course.

How about it? Are you ready to take my class again, and see it through to the end this time?

Absolutely not, chirp! My very hardest of hard passes, ma'am, chirp!

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All right, enough about X. It seems my apprentice chef here has caused you a great deal of trouble.

As the madam of Jigoku Kitchen, I could never forgive myself if I were to let you leave now without making amends.

I take it you're all travelers, chirp? You're the second ones in all of Jigoku Kitchen's history to come here without a reservation.

The first was a bearded professor named...Tokiomi, I think. He was out investigating ancient ruins in this area, and stumbled across us when he got lost.

You know, you remind me of him, young lady. Ahh, that brings back memories!

Really? I guess me and Father both exude the same adventurer's spirit!

No, not you. I was talking to the blonde with the ponytail.

...

You aren't the kind of Servant you appear to be, are you, chirp? I can almost see the threads of fate that have wrapped themselves around you.

Listen. I'm telling you this for your own good. Beyond this point lies the zone of no return. Do I need to spell out what will happen if you go there?

Gee, I'm sorry, but I have nooo idea what you're talking about!

Anyway, you're part of Space Shinkageryu, right, Beni-Enma? Are you sure you haven't seen our faces before? Like, say, on a wanted poster?

Chirp?

...Now that you mention it, I think I might have seen your pictures on the paper I used to wrap the sweet potaAhhh!

It's you! You're the rogue good guys getting in Space Shinkageryu's way!

I knew you were trouble, but I never dreamed you'd be so reckless as to make your way to the center of Green Jigoku Kitchen, chirp!

Weren't you at all worried about showing up on security cameras and whatnot!? I can't believe you managed to survive this long!

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...You're not wrong.

You must be the Master from the wanted poster. You're a clever one, aren't you?

It's true. Jigoku Kitchen doesn't have any ungainly systems like that.

Do you know why that is?

No, but I did think it was strange. If we'd known this place belonged to Space Shinkageryu, I would've expected it to be crawling with guards.

But instead, aside from all the wildlife, this place is like something out of a picture book. Why is that?

Because we're understaffed and operating on a shoestring budget.

...Huh?

You need Servants to stand guard, and they don't work for free, right? But HQ hasn't even sent us a single credit.

Besides, it's the off-season. There's no point keeping my service sparrows and fighting sparrows on hand when we don't have any customers, so they're all out working other jobs until business picks back up.

Even if I managed to capture you, I don't have anyone here to take you to HQ, so I'd have to have you take yourselves there, which would obviously defeat the purpose.

I was honestly hoping I could avoid getting involved in all this, chirp.

You're that strapped for cash when you're this close to your base!? But I thought Space Shinkageryu was doing well for itself!

Lady Ashtart hates wasting money, so she's been slashing our budget ever since she took over.

She's unforgiving when it comes to spending. So unforgiving in fact, that we've seen no end of smaller Space Shinkageryu dojos going under.

Ugh, what an idiot... I guess she's one of those typical bean counter CEOs who only sees numbers instead of people...

However... Now that I've encountered the rogues on the wanted poster myself, I have no choice but to fight.

Draw your sword, half-a-goddess. I, Beni-Enma, will measure your strength personally, chirp!

Wait, Ms. Beni! I don't understand! Last I checked, you didn't have anything to do with the Space Shinkageryu!

Why are you running an inn for them all the way out here in the space sticks!?

Is there some reason for this you're not telling us!?

Be quiet! We all have our reasons for the choices we make! You can't get by in the Servantverse on sympathy alone!

I might have forgotten the heroic ideals I once aspired to, but I'll never forget the quick-draw skills I've been studying since I was a little sparrow!

Besides, I can't let you get away without landing at least one stroke of my blade. I may be on the brink of bankruptcy, but I still have my pride!

Chirp! The time for mercy and Likes is gone! Now come at me however you wish!

All right, if that's how you want to do this, I'm game! I'll show you just how good I am with my sword, one katana-wielder to another!

Phew... Your cooking skills may be nonexistent, but you're not half bad with a katana, chirp.

Hold on. How can you be so sure I can't cook when I haven't even tried cooking anything!?

I can precisely tell the level of one's cooking skill by crossing swords with them. In your case, you can't make anything that's not Chinese food.

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Well... They had an ad for an incredibly inexpensive home security service where I could get sixty percent off for a hundred years if I signed up that day.

I was so enticed by the prospect that I signed up on the spot, before I thoroughly read the contract...

I'm guessing one of the terms of service you agreed to was serving Space Shinkageryu as one of the Six Blades?

Chirp chirp! Ah, if only I'd actually read the contract before I signed it! How could I be so stupid!?

Though in my defense, that WAS the only part of the contract written in ancient space Latin...

Are you kidding!? That's not just evil, that's downright diabolical! That doesn't even sound like it should be legally binding!

...Anyway, that's all I have to say.

I was hoping if I left you all alone rather than looking for you, you'd go on to defeat the Space Shinkageryu some day and free me from this contract...

...but I see now that I was only fooling myself.

All right, you win. Go ahead and do what you will with me! Roast, rotisserie, deep-fry... Whatever you like!

Huh!? We're not going to eat you! I feel bad enough for you as it is, so I sure as hell don't need that on my conscience!

Besides, we victims of Space Shinkageryu ought to stick together.

So here's an idea. If we forget this whole thing ever happened, will you give us their home base's coordinates?

You conveniently "forget" to mention to the Space Shinkageryu higher-ups that we were ever here, and we make our way directly to them.

Sounds like a solid win-win to me, don't you think?

...I can't do that. Sparrow or not, I still have a duty to uphold my contractual obligations, chirp.

That said... As the proprietress of this inn, it's none of my business what my customers do in the lounge.

See that old computer there? It's got a tour guide station set up for new recruits.

I remember the ones headed for headquarters would often search for "Space Shinkageryu headquarters."

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Hehe. There are few things that bring a proprietress more joy than receiving a customer's thanks.

Anyway, the rest is all up to you now, chirp.

Fortunately, it looks like the Dark Maanna Space Fortress is pretty close to here...

Oh wow, you're right! It's practically just a hop, skip, and space jump away!

Come on, guys, let's hurry back to Maanna! We've got to catch up before they get too far away!

Thanks, Beni-Enma! When this is all over, I promise I'll come back here and spend the night for real!

I appreciate the thought, but are you aware that Dark Maanna's security systems are impenetrable!?

Unless you have some way to get past them, you'll just get shot down the moment you get within firing range, chirp!

Don't worry! We know their boarding codes, so we can sneak in easy as pie!

Chirp! In that case, I have no objections! Just make sure you watch your backs up there!

Sir Gawain? Some of my sparrows found him drifting around the Sargasso and rescued him.

He hadn't been staying here long when he said he wanted to share the taste of his homeland's cooking with the rest of the Servantverse.

I told him "no" so many times I lost count, but in the end, I gave in and leased him a place.

As someone dedicated to the art of cooking, I was torn about letting him open a British restaurant here...

...but when I realized the money from him paying rent would let me hire three more sparrows, I just couldn't turn him down...

Man, you weren't kidding about running on a shoestring budget, huh?

Well, I can't imagine they get much business all the way out here. The only reservations they must get are probably all from Space Shinkageryu.

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Unfortunately, even if they do sneak into Dark Maanna without getting caught...they'll still have to contend with Space Shinkageryu's two strongest swordfighters.

Lord Sigurd, the Dragon-slayer Sword, aka the God Killerthe oldest and strongest of all the Six Blades...

And Munenori, a direct descendant of Space Shinkageryu's founder, chirp...

Those girls will need to face both of them before they can reach Lady Ashtart. I hope they all survive...

All right, Maanna is prepped and ready to launch! Get in, guys!

You know, everything else aside, Sir Gawain's space British food was...

Well, it certainly wasn't tasty, but there was something about it that reminded me of home.

That's very kind of you to say.

How are you still alive!?

Oh, that? Yes, I may have sustained massive head trauma, but as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Especially if that strength is bolstered by eating good, healthy space British food every day.

You sure you don't have that backwards? It looks more to me like you have to be strong in the first place just to be able to stomach that slop every day.

Hahaha, you may well be right. But as long as it all works out, I'm not worried about how we get there.

On a different note, I overheard your conversation with the madam.

I had no idea she was only following the Space Shinkageryu's orders out of a sense of contractual obligation... I am ashamed I failed to realize this myself.

So I think I will remain at this colony a while longer. Besides, I still need to repay these sparrows for saving me.

The madam kindly agreed to teach me more about cooking during my stay, so I hope I will have a chance to let you all taste the fruits of my training.

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I have faith in you, Sir Gawain! I know your natural obliviousness will help you expand the traditions of British cooking!

Oh, but guys, please don't get the wrong idea! Not all British cooking is, uh...like THAT!