Nine Drunks (Including Women)

Things have really picked up around here lately. I guess Heroic Spirits have been talking about us.

That's all wonderful news, of course, but...it also means this day was bound to come.

Did you know this would eventually happen all along, Master?

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Fo... Kyu, kyu. (Special Translation: They'll come... Like moths to a flame, or ants to a picnic...)

...The reservation is under Jing Ke. The other eight names...there's no mistaking it.

Chaldea's heaviest drinkers are all coming here to throw a party...!

This could sink the Enma-tei before it gets back on its feet!

Right, Master! I'll do my very best to make sure they don't disturb the other guests!

Yes, I know what you mean... But in the meantime, we should go and greet the Servants.

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Hmm, hmmm... Man, this place is pretty swank!

Welcome, Jing Ke.

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Oh, hey, Master, Mash.

I'm sure it won't be easy for you guys, but I'm putting all of us in your capable hands today!

That's fine. This is a place of rest and relaxation, after all, and you more than deserve to do so.

So, um, where are all the others...?

Sounds like they just got here. All right, line up, guys!

'Sup! Nice place you got here!

...Magnificent. I expect the waters here will be every bit as fine as the rumors say.

Hahahaha! I dig this Far Eastern vibe!

This establishment appears to be of a distinctively old-fashioned age, but still... Hmm.

How this thrills me...

It has been a long time indeed since I last shared a drink with anyone besides my fellow Knights of the Round Table.

I shall drink long and deep, until I can no longer tell up from down...

Oh, hello, Master♡

I see you're working just as wonderfully hard as ever. Hehe, think you could...pour me a drink or two later?

Hold on, Anne. Don't go making more work for him. I can pour your drinks if that's what you want.

Nnn, that sounds fun and all too, but it's still nice to mix it up sometimes, right?

Yes, yes, we know. Please don't pay her any mind, Master.

She already had a barrel of rum on our way here.

Oh, and Master?

Make sure our room has a nice, extra large futon ready to go, 'kay♪

Something that all three of us can really...cozy up in♡

Okay, that's enough. Come on already!

...This group looks like it's going to be even more of a handful than I thought...

Right. I'll keep the Ortinax on standby in crowd control mode!

Understood, Master.

I'll make sure to contain their notorious drunken revelry to the dining room!

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Everyone have a drink?

...Ahem.

I know a lot has happened this past year, but now, we are together once again, united as Master's sword!

So let's all do our best to make sure this new year turns out great!

Cheers!

Cheers!!!

Oho. So this is makgeolli...and this is Shaoxing wine? This is quite the varied assortment.

Can I have another shot of tequila?

Oh wow, they even have vodka here. I wonder if Anastasia brought it?

Ah, whatever. I'll have a glass of vodka with a twist of lime, please! Oh, and don't forget the salt!

Okay, that's one shot of tequila for Anne, and one glass of vodka for Mary.

Might I suggest a cocktail as well, ladies? This one is called a screwdriver.

Oh yeah, I've heard of that. But don't expect it to kill meI'm no lightweight.

Ahhh!

Marvelous! Simply marvelous!

By the way, there's an opportunity I'd like to speak with you about that I believe you'll find most interesting.

Moriarty! No enticing others to commit crimes after plying them with drinks.

Bollocks!

I can see why this place is popular with Servants. Just look at this wine selection!

Here, Beowulf, have a drink with me.

Sweet. Thanks, Napoleon.

I've gotta admit, this commercial wine ain't half bad.

Guess you French heroes really do know your liquor.

Hahaha, cut it out before you have me climbing trees! Compliments go right to my head, you know!

...Hey, Beowulf?

What's up?

Does that pretty lady that's been slowly creeping up on us feel kind of...intense to you, too?

Oh, Jing Ke. Wait. Stay back.

No, wait, you don't have to stay back. Just put that dagger of yours away!

Aww, come ooon! This dagger's like a part of me! I can't just leave it out of sight!

Besides, you're an emperor, right, Napoleon? A real, honest-to-goodness emperor?

Ahh, emperor. I love the sound of that. It really makes me want to...stab you!

Damn, I think this is the first time I've ever met someone who was so eager to kill me from the word go!

I don't think she even dislikes me. It's just in her nature to kill!

Maybe her desire to kill an emperor just got away from her?

Man, what's with you Chinese warriors?

I thought you assassins were supposed to be more, you know, down on your luck?

I don't kill for money or revenge! This is just who I am!

All right, I guess you can hang on to it. But don't you dare go in for the kill!

...Okay!

Forget it! I don't believe you!

Hey, pirate girls. Would you mind keeping this pretty lady away from my boy Napoleon!?

Aww, what's the big deal? That's just her way of expressing her love.

Yeah. Murder is just how she says "I love you."

Yeah! I love you kings to death!

Oh wow! It's my beloved Master!

Master! It's you!

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Man, it's been forever since I last saw you! Ooor...maybe not. Did I see you recently? I think I might have. Maybe.

Whoo, you reek of alcohol! Oh, whoops, no you don't. I do!

Jing Ke, stop it! Master's face is turning purple!

Hm? Oh, right. Sorry about that.

Guess I came on a little too strong. Literally! How're you feeling?

Hm, not great, by the looks of it. All right, since this is my fault and all, I guess you can use my lap as a pillow.

Theeere you go. Nice and better now, no?

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Hey! No fair, Jing Ke!

Yeah! We have just as much right to offer up our laps as you do!

Oh no you don't. This is a drunkards reserved strictly for privilege.

Nuh-uh!

Thank goodness Jing Ke finally let go of you...

Well, I guess I did technically have to peel you out of her grasp, but still.

I-it was no problem. Anyway, it looks like everyone else is starting to become intoxicated as well.

Okay, now it's our turn to

I'm sorry, but Enma-tei employees are only allowed to go on break in the designated break room!

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Fou?

...That's Lu Bu. He's opening a keg in complete silence.

... (Translation: Bring me beer. In a mug.)

Tristan looks like he's had a lot to drink, too...

Bacchus, Bacchus... Oh, this is bad... When it's just me, I can't seem to stop myself... Bacchus.

But it's so good, I just can't help myself... In the end, I am beholden to drink...

It is but a matter of time before I forgot the tragedies of the past and perform that pose again.

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The pose of fire and ice!

The ultimate stance almost chosen for the soundtrack cover that I was only allowed to use after bawling my eyes out!

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(No idea how to respond to that)

Fooou.

Yo, minstrel! Sing us a song or something!

... ...

...Oh, I'm sorry, did you mean me? I suppose you did, given my resemblance to Dionysus.

Not to mention I'm the only one here with a harp.

Yes, of course I'd be glad to sing you a song. ...Any requests?

Nope. Anything you know's fine with me.

I would request a party song that will make us laugh. If it is easy to clap along, so much the better.

Hmm. How 'bout something solemn and dignified? Like the kind of songs that were dedicated to me.

But keep it simple, too! Something that'll really put a spring in my soldiers' step!

...Very well, I think I understand. Then I shall sing from the genre I learned here in the Enma-tei...

A single verse from the

Booo! Play some rock 'n' roll!

Love is Dracul.

Love is Dracul.

Love is Dracul.

Why do you keep harping on that devilish song, no pun intended...!? Just because I'm in my Bacchus state doesn't mean

Woooooo! You all seeing this, guys!? I'm gonna be the first to sing!

Fwha!?

Oh, the hell with it! Actually, now I see what they mean when they said this inn was in hell!

Don't worry, I'll be fine! I've heard that song of hers plenty of times!

I kinda love how out of control it is! Honestly, I always wanted to try imitating it sometime!

Come on, you wild boars☆ Give it up for meee☆

Wahahaha! Now that's what I'm talking about! This is what a party ought to be!

...Very well. If that is what you think, King Beowulf, then I am prepared to do what must be done.

From this point on, my pitch shall invert from sadness...to madness! Rrraaaaaah!

All right! Tristan's transcendent technique, comin' atcha! Here we gooo!

♪Love is Dracul (Mornings are hell) So be kind to me♪ ♪Don't wake me up till the middle of the niiight♪

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I-I know! She may not have as much volume as Elisabeth...

...but she's still startlingly reminiscent of her!

It's almost like watching a more grown-up Elisabeth after she's put her singing career behind her!

♪My stomach is growling♪ ♪I need to feel alive (One piece of toast won't cut it)♪

One piece of toast will not cut it. (Good-naturedly clapping along while singing the chorus)

♪Now gimme some Killer☆Killer jam! (Annnd turn!)

(She even has Elisabeth's choreography down pat...! Well, I can't let her outshine me now...!)

Ah, there's the record button. One can never have too much blackmail material, after all...

! (Translation: I can hear the sounds of battle. This is a good party. More beer!)

Yeah! That's it! That's the kind of insanity I'm talking about! Come on, everyone, all together now!

Ready!? Here we gooo!

♪It's a magical hunt♪ (Joining the dance)

♪I'm taking heads♪ (Joining the dance)

♪Let me lock you up once more tonight♡ (Flashy pose)

Woooooo!!!

Woooooo!!!

...Huh?

...Ook?

Ook eeeeeeeeek!

Master, the demonic monkeys wandered into the party! Maybe they mistook it for one from the demonic realm!

Perfect timing! Looks like these monkeys really know when to liven up a party!

We'd better show 'em a good time in turn! You with me, everyone!?

Oui (Hiccup)! You know we are, brother! Let's do it! Giant cannooon, at the readyyy!

♪Skewer, skewer, nice and bloody!

Ordinarily, using my Otomeryu against mere monkeys would be madness...but refraining here would not be very "rocking."

Stay put, monkeys. I shall soon have you spinning in place on the tatami.

I can't believe it...

Instead of keeping beasts at bay, my bewitched bow only drew them closer...

I truly am a terrible rapscallion, aren't I. Hehe.

Is that really something to brag about?

May I remind you that I'm very, very drunk.

... (Translation: Bring me the good stuff. By the barrel.)

Okay, Master, we're counting on you to give the orders.

I kind of feel bad for the monkeys, but that's not gonna stop me from using them for my sober-up workout!

And when we're done with that, Master, we can go...wash up in the hot springs. Teehee.

I swear, is that all you ever think about!?

All right. Now that we've worked up a good sweat...

Right on.

The next round's in the outdoor bath!

Y-you mean you're still going to drink more!?

Hell yeah we are!

Yes, I know from experience that I'll probably regret it tomorrow, but right now, we drink ooonnn!

Oh, I almost forgot. Napoleon, you were saying something before?

Hm? Oh, you mean about whether the Three Knight classes could beat the other four classes?

I am told that we Sabers are thought to be the strongest of all the classes.

Yes. Given they use the sword, bow, and spear, the Three Knights are the stars of the Servant world.

I dunno. I'm technically qualified to be a Saber myself...

...but there's just something about it that makes my shoulders ache like crazy.

I have no doubt that the Three Knights excel in all sorts of ways...

...but it's us Assassins who can take them down in a single strike.

So watch out, or we'll take your head♪ ...Teehee.

I feel like I just weathered a major storm. Come on, Senpai, we should clean up before...

Huh?

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We Knights of the Round Table are well accustomed to cleaning up after ourselves during a drunken brawl.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Yes.

...I wonder, though, if Gawain or Mordred could do the same...?

Indeed.

I hope we can drink as cool and responsibly as them once we're old enough to do so, Senpai.

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... ...

... (Translation: Now, vodka. A cask of it.)