Section 2: The Warrior Queen of the Desert Nation

Who are you!? What are you doing here!?

Whoa, whoa!? What's going on!?

...Ahem. What kind of musical idol would I be if I couldn't improv my way through a surprising twist?

Okay, let's try this again...in song form!

Who, may I ask, might you beee♪ I'm sorry if I forgot your naaame♪

...You look suspicious to me!

？！

Hmph. Me? If anyone's suspicious here, it's obviously you.

Look at you! Barely dressed and wrapped in those chains... You look like you just escaped from prison.

...I didn't ask for your pity.

Huh? What? Pity you? I don't.

I mean you aren't carrying yourself like you're ashamed or anything.

And besides, a true musical star always recognizes a talented costar when she sees one.

You're practically overflowing with class and natural-born dignity.

You're definitely no slave. In fact, I bet you're nobility, aren't you?

If nothing else, I can tell that you're something of...a leaaadeeer♪

Really? You can?

And besides, you're just as much a Servant as I am, riiight♪

From our perspective, you're also a suspicious-looking Servant that showed up out of nooowheeere♪

So before you get all grumpy with us, isn't there something else you should do?

Yes... You make a good point. Perhaps I was hasty in my judgment. I apologize.

A queen must be quick and decisive, but this situation may call for a more measured approach.

？！

Yes, that's right.

I have heard...rumors describing the Servant who caused this disturbance.

It was foolish of me to simply assume the first Servant I met must be the one.

Now, what was her name again?

Hmm... It's right on the tip of my tongue... I think it began with "El"?

Well now that things have calmed down, I think it's time I introduce myself.

The opening number is the perfect time to establish who your main characters are, after all!

And when you're introducing the crucial lead role like me, a full hour-long solo wouldn't go amiss!

(Soprano) Lalalaaa. I am the super musical idoool♪ known as Elisabeth Cinderellaaa♪

Yes, that's it. Her name was Elisabeth...

.........What did you say?

Then it IS you!

Huh!? What are you talking about!? I have no clue what's going on here!

You won't fool me a second time!

I must fix what has happened to this desert...to the beautiful Palmyrene Empire. I must.

For Palmyra...is my nation.

I am Zenobia, the warrior queen of Palmyra!

I shall reclaim my land from you, Elisabeth!

？！

What a dramatic turn of eveeents♪ Perhaps we were always destined to fiiight♪

Khh... Man, you're really strong!

Waaait♪ Stooop♪ Can't we talk about thiiis♪

Stop that. Stop singing. Stop this nonsense at once.

You cannot blame me for thinking you the cause of this situation when you refuse to take it seriously.

？！

Hm. You, an ordinary human, stepped between us. Impressive.

Very well, but you have only moments to explain.

？！

Wh-what is it?

Did my opening number make you fall head over heels for me already, Puppy?

I mean, I understand, but isn't the staring a bit much? Even I get embarrassed sometimes, you know.

... ...

Well? Say something already!

Nothing! I swear! You've got to believe me!

Ulp.

I...am not sure how to answer that.

I don't, um, remember anything like that happening, but I can't say it couldn't have just...happened on its own.

So...I can't give you a definitive "no"...

？！

？！

Why should I trust you when even your companion does not?

？！

Thank you for the complimeeent♪

So then...you ARE, in fact, behind all this?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Even if this evil mastermind you heard about really is named Elisabeth...

...she's still not me.

If she's an Elisabeth, she's probably a different one.

What in the world are you saying?

Why would there be multiple versions of the same person running around!?

Even if it is technically possible for Servants, it could hardly be a common occurrence.

And now you tell me there just happens to be another of you here?

？！

...

That's right! There's no one else in history quite like meee♪

I'm the musical idol whose latte brings all the boys to the paaark♪

Boys to the park... Oooh, that was a good one. Way to go, Elly.

I hope no one's ever sang anything similar.

Enough of the song. Is that even possible? Truly?

？！

Hmm. I still find it hard to believe...but I can see no falsehood in your eyes.

I suppose I will just have to trust you. At least for the time being.

Very well. I will hear what you have to say.

So that's why we're headed to Csejte Cinderella Caaastle♪

It's Halloween, and I'm Cinderella, so I have to go there.

I definitely know that's my goal.

Hmm. If what you say is true...then it sounds as if the Elisabeth responsible for this is likely in that castle.

And I do recall seeing a castle far off in the distance, beyond this desert.

Really? Then show us the way!

We can pass the time by singing and danciiing♪ That's one of the best parts about musicaaals♪

I believe the time period and my ties to this land are why I was summoned here.

My nation, Palmyra, should still exist in this time.

And if my memory is at all reliable, it looked nothing like this.

？！

First, the castle. This is quite the fairy tale itself.

Half of my nation's land appears to have transformed into a bizarre forest.

And the other half, this desert... I've never seen it before. It feels...different from the desert I knew in my life.

But this remains my Palmyra. That much, I know in my bones.

And yet...I can sense that it has been distorted beyond all recognition.

I must therefore do whatever I can to remedy this. If my land is under attack, it falls to me to protect it.

So I shall not rest until that foul castle has been razed to its foundations!

...Do you really have to go that faaar♪

I cannot let such a garish fairy-tale castle as that endure on my nation's soil.

As soon as I am within range, I will shatter its walls with my ballista!

Can't you at least settle for moving it? That's technically MY castle, you know!

You can hardly blame me for bearing ill will towards a building that planted itself on my land without permission.

...I'm willing to forbear for now out of consideration for Fujimaru...

But know that there will be no mercy for anything which threatens my beloved people.

That was the approach I took when that foolish Roman emperor attacked my land, and I will do no differently now.

？！

Hmm. So you know the Roman emperor, too? Well, I guess that doesn't narrow it down much, since there're so many of them.

So you are on friendly terms with Rome's emperors? The one you know isn't Aurelian, is it?

No way. I don't know any emperor by that name, and the red one's my archnemesis!

Buuut, now that I have this musical skiiill♪ I'm definitely waaay better than she iiissssss♪

Well, as you said, there were many Roman emperors. I won't hold them all to account for the sins of some.

At any rate, I have no objection to traveling together to this castle. If we can resolve this situation sooner by cooperating, so much the better.

？！

All right, I know the general direction of the castle, but there are three problems we must first resolve.

Three problems, you saaay? Could you maaaybe get it down to ooone♪

...Well, broadly speaking, I suppose they do boil down to a single issue.

Then a single problem should be NO probleeem♪

(I'm quite certain that is not how it works.)

Ahem. First of all, we must take a specific route through this desert, or we will encounter terrible sandstorms.

Second, when I tried going to the castle myself, tall, craggy mountains blocked my path.

It would be very difficult to cross them, especially for Fujimaru.

So to get past them, we'll need to go through a cave about halfway up the mountainside.

The entrance was blocked off by a boulder, but I did feel a slight breeze from the gaps. I'm certain that cave leads to the other side of the mountain.

If we can find a way inside, we should be able to make our way through to the castle.

？！

And the third... Well, this may not be much of a problem for us, but...

I've heard that this area is plagued by droves of bandits.

Should we encounter them, they're likely to make our passage more difficult.

Ah, that's nothing to worry about. I'll just "talk" (read: pound) some sense into them and make them into fansI mean, friends.

Everyone will be kiiilled♪ I mean, thriiilled♪

Indeed. These bandits should know better than to commit theft in my nation. Once I find them, I will see that they meet swift justice.

For it is my duty as queen to ensure that all threats to Palmyra's safety and security are eliminated!

(Say, Puppy? Don't you think her outfit...doesn't exactly scream "protector"?)

That's true. There's probably a good reason why she dresses like that.

Good poooint♪ She'd probably get along great with Penthesilea and Boudicaaa♪

？！

All right, let us be on our way!

Deal with it.

I never said we could completely avoid sandstorms on our route. This is still better than the other ones.

Besides, I have a hunch it will clear up soon.

...See? (Obviously proud)

Hang on. Now that the storm's cleared, I can see someone over there.

？！

Man oh man, figures I'd get caught in a sandstorm. Then again, it looks like my luck might be changing.

I was worried I'd be the only one in the gang to go back empty-handed.

(Ahem...)

You there, travelers. I'm the captain of the Shinsengumi's Third UniI mean, Thief Number Three.

I'm a Rogue Servant for hire. Sooo, on that note...

How 'bout we make this easy, and you just gimme all your stuff now?

？！

I admit, I don't love it. I used to be a cop, so it feels kinda wrong. Let's at least kick this off with a civil conversation.

A bandit! A rogue! A thieeef♪ Try to steal from us, and I'll kill yooou♪

If you still want to talk theeen♪ I'll hear what you have to saaay♪

What... What is happening right now?

You are brave for attempting to rob the queen of Palmyra herself. For that, I commend you. I think it's safe to say that we can bypass the trial entirely.

I sentence you to death here and now, and shall dispose of your body by burying it in the desert.

Rejoice, thief. Once date palms begin to sprout from your corpse, you too will begin making a positive contribution to Palmyra's welfare.

...Huh?

Screw that! I surrender!

I might be a thief now...

But I've never picked a fight I couldn't win before, and today is not the day I start.

A wise decision. Very well then, I shall bury you right here and now.

Date palms, date paaalms♪

Whoa, whoa, you can't do that now. Why d'you think I surrendered? 'Sides, haven't you ever heard of extenuating circumstances?

Hmm, good point. There are a lot of other thieves out there besides just this one, right?

Why don't we make him tell us what he knows about the others?

A plea bargain, huh? Hmm...

Very well. I would hate for anyone to think that Palmyra is a land of barbarians.

If you wish to continue drawing breath on my land, you will tell us everything you know.

Is this how plea bargaining works? It's really feeling a lot more like I'm just being threatened.

？！

Haha, fair point.

All right, let's get these beans spilled.

Hmm. So the mountain cave we are headed for is your hideout.

But you also say there is a trick to getting inside, and only your boss knows what it is?

That's right.

I know, it's a real pain in the ass.

Especially now that the boss has holed up inside and refuses to come out.

Believe me, we've asked.

So we decided to split up and look for a way to coax the boss out of there, by each stealing a different item we'd need...

...and that's when I saw you guys.

Why must you steal to accomplish this? Stop at once.

Hmph. It is as I thought. I must resolve the matter of your band of thieves if I am to maintain peace in Palmyra.

If the whole band is gathering as you say, perfect. My ballista will make short work of the lot of them.

？！

Yeah, yeah, I'll show you the way.

I knew what I was getting into when I surrendered.

Okay, we're here.

Oh hey, looks like everyone's back. They're already getting things ready.

？！

Hold up, hold uuup♪

Why are there so many thieeeves? And that's not the weeeirdest thing I seee♪

Yeah, I guess some of us look more, uh, thiefy than others.

But there's forty of us, including the boss.

？！

What is it, Puppy? I guess forty is a lot, huh.

Okay, I'd better get going.

Huh? Didn't we tie him up!? When did he get out of his ropes!?

Hey, guys! We've got guests!

Welcome to the thieves' banquet!

We don't really know what's going on, but we're all definitely thieves here!

That's true. Wait, hang on, never mind the thief bit. There's something strange(r) going on here.

Yeah! All I did was change outfits, and now I'm literally beside myself!

And not only that, I think I see someone who looks like me from the distant past over there, too!

Looks like we're in some kind of dreamworld or something, so it's not all THAT surprising, is it?

Yep! Why overthink it?

So we're four thieves all together!

No way. Is that really how they got to forty thieves?

Honestly, I think I could get us there on my own. Same with the Nemo Series...

Kanra kara kara! Don't say that. That would be so dull!

Oh my gosh, I'm surrounded by Illyas. This is wonderful... I mean, terrible... No, definitely wonderful... Hehehe...

Maybe I should take one of them?

Having two to supply you with magical energy at once would definitely fill you up...

...Yes, something definitely isn't right here. Now what are we going to do?

Hyahahahaha! Why do we gotta do anything!? This is fun!

I would've thought there'd be a bunch of mes here, too. Maybe the others all ran away?

Shuten! Shuuuteeen! We're the biggest thieves in Chaldea, right!? So where are yooou!?

Shuuuteeen! ...Ah.

W-well, at least we know there are forty thieves all together now. But why are they throwing a party?

？！

Isn't it obvious!?

We're trying to get our boss to come out of the cave she's locked herself up in.

She's a real sight for sore eyI mean, we need her to set an example for the others...

...but we haven't been able to talk her into coming out, and we can't exactly force her out...

So obviously, we're going with Operation Amano-Iwato.

She'll hear us having the time of our lives out here and wont be able to resist coming to see what's going on!

Saito!

Yeees?

Did you do what you were supposed to?

We were all supposed to get something for the banquet, remember?

Booze, food, entertainment...something.

I got something. Here! ...Hm?

Aw, whoops! I thought I'd stolen a beautiful statue, but it's just you!

...Yes, thank you. Now, would you mind putting me down?

Ah, whatever! You're such a snack you'd still pair nicely with the booze! I'll drink to that!

Haha, I guess you could say I brought something similar. A, uh, snack...was it?

Well? Where is it already?

Oh come on, can you not see?

It's her.

Apparently, she's some kind of battle-crazed warrior queen who's just dying to put all us thieves in the ground.

Is she now?

You bastard...

Hey, every good party's got to get people pumped up and moving, right? Whether you like it or not.

No way. There are forty of you guuuys♪ That's a lot to fight all at ooonce♪

Hey, this is all just a dream anyway, right? We oughta be pushovers compared to our real selves.

So, there's forty of uswell, thirty-nine minus the bossand three of you, huh?

Well, you've come this far, so there's no going home...

...without at least one dance!

None of them were particularly strong, but they were certainly irritating to deal with all at once...

Saito! How's the cave door looking!?

Hang on, I'll check.

All right, let's see...

So that's what all the noise was. My thirty-nine thieves, all getting taken out with a single blow...

So terrible. So terrifying. I knew it wasn't safe to go out. I'll die for sure...

Damn, it didn't work!

Well yeah, 'course it didn't.

Though just so you know, Boss, nobody actually died, okay?

Still, I do think we coulda done better.

It's just not a band of thieves without a boss leading them.

You gotta have someone tying the group together, you know?

What about us? Lalala♪ We need to get inside, too♪

In fact, can I say something? You're all terrible at this.

Huh? What're you talking about?

I've heard of the Amano-Iwato strategy before. It's based on a Japanese myth, right?

The idea's to put on a party so fun it makes the person shutting themself away want to come out all on their own.

But there's one crucial thing missing from this one. Do you know what it is, Puppy?

Huh? There's a famous password associated with forty thieves?

I don't know about that, but it sounds like you're talking about lyrics that resonate deep in your heart?

Works for me! If it's what you want, I can definitely incorporate that password into my lyrics!

But on a more basic level, this whole party just isn't fun enough for the plan to work.

What we need...is more singing!

I knew you'd get it, Puppy! That's right. This party just isn't fun enough for this plan to work.

A fun party needs great musiiic♪ And that means singiiing♪

Oh, also, these kinds of things usually involve a password, right? Even I know that.

So then, all I have to do is incorporate the password into my lyrics!

？！

Hehehe. Lucky for you guys, you're in the presence of a true musical idol.

We want to open that cave to get to the other side of the mountain, and you guys want to open it to get your boss out.

You can see how our interests are aligned, right? So help me liven up this party!

Once your boss hears my singing, I guarantee she'll come out, weeping tears of joy!

Hmm. I suppose killing all these thieves now wouldn't help us with our primary goal...

So if you have another idea, I'm willing to let you try it.

Good call! Okay, all of you with any kind of musical talent, get ready to rock!

Okay everyone, why don't you all explain what part you'll be playiiing♪

I'll be doing accompaniment and backup vocals. Don't worry, I understand I'm not the lead singer this time.

An impromptu collaboration with a mysterious fairy tale-themed idol that appeared out of nowhere!? (Pant, pant) We might never see this group perform again! I could SO stan this!

I'll be the backup dancer. I'm really good at dancing.

Oh, but I shouldn't stand out too much this time, should I? Okay, Mata Hari, tone it down...

(Just wants to see some singing and dancing already.)

Hit it!

Lalalaaa. Be brave, dear boooss♪ And open the dooor♪

There is nothing at aaall to feeear♪

If you want a password, I have it right heeere♪ It's ooopen seeesameee♪

？！

？！

Ahh... What is this feeling? It's not unpleasant... In fact, this singing is quite lovely...

And now, the clincher♪ Iftah Ya Simsiiim♪

(Shuddering) And yet, I can't shake this sense of unease...

It's as though it could all come crashing down at any moment, which makes it that much more frightening.

Yes, it's almost like...each verse is a round of Russian roulette I'm being forced to play...

Ahh, I don't know how much of this my heart can take! If this keeps up much longer, I'm worried I might die!

...

From what I have seen, that singer is fiercely determined, and she also truly loves singing.

She won't stop until you open that cave door. Of this, I am certain.

Oh no. That's terrible...

If you wish to be free from the uncertainty of whether or not this singing will kill you...

...then I believe your only choice is to open the cave door and let us pass. Only that can stop the singing now.

We have somewhere else we need to be, so we cannot afford to remain here.

Once we have moved on, you can once again shut yourself away in a nice, safe room.

On my honor as the queen of Palmyra, we will leave you in peace.

The queen of Palmyra...

...You do seem stern, but you also don't seem quite like other, terrifying kings.

Perhaps...I can trust you...

You can. I only got a glimpse of you earlier, but from what I saw...

I can only imagine the Romans must have humiliated you as well, for you to dress as you do.

You may be sure that I understand your frustration, your regret, and your anger. I would never mock your clothing.

You and I are two of a kind!

Um, I'm not sure what you're talking about. My outfit has nothing to do with any of that!

Still... Phew. You don't seem like a bad person...

...

It opened!?

I knew iiit♪ My singing will save the wooorld♪

Sh-she's not stopping!? Then, you tricked me!?

Wait, wait! She just needs some time to cool down! It's just like how you can't stop a chariot on a copper.

Come on, you two! It's open! We need to make up for lost time!

Aww, I still want to sing more... But, fiiine.

I guess musicals have intermissions, right? I'll just sing the second act on the way home.

？！

Huh, her singing really did make the Amano-Iwato plan work. I'm impressed.

So, Vice Commander, what do we do no

Listen up, all of you! Now that our boss is back, remember, we're nothing without her! She's our symbol! Our leader! Our eye candy!

If you can't devote yourself to obeying her, you'd better slit your stomach right here and now! Let's goooooo!

Welp, haven't seen that side of the Vice Commander for a while.

Ah well, at least it's entertaining.

E-eep! Why are you all running towards me!? I don't want to die!

(Zzz...)

Hehehe. Looks like she's still fast asleep.

... ...

Sacrebleu, this girl can SLEEP!

Did she mix a bit of Sleeping Beauty in with her Cinderalla or something?

Is that because this Singularity is based on a fairy tale?

W-well, there's no harm in letting her keep on sleeping. Maybe I'll up the dosage on her sleeping incense...

... ...

Pyaaa! She's awake!

...Where am I...?

E-er...

Hehehe... You're in Csejte Cinderella Castle.

And you are my captive princess, Mademoiselle Cendrillon.

Or, as you might know her...Cinderella.

REALLY!? I've been captured? You mean I'm a damsel in distress!? That's GREAT!

Oh, I don't love being confined though. Would you mind if I escaped?

Let's see, where's my mic (read: lance)...?

Of course you can't escape! What part of "captive" was unclear!?

You can't leave this castle, but can wander wherever you like inside it, okay!? Also, there's a "prince" on the way who's supposed to rescue you, too!

A prince!? Coming to rescue me!?

I see... Well, I guess I can wait a little while, then.

Yes, of course. Now please, go back to sleep.

Okay, I will. Night night. Oh, who are...you again...? (Zzz...)

To sleep, perchance to dream.

As the core of this Singularity, your dreams are the driving force for everything.

Yes, Elisabeth Báthory, Countess of Fresh Blood.

The chaos so innate to the core of your being makes this Singularity go round.

The princess: daughter of royalty, waiting to be rescued. The very concept of a prize, personified!

Go on, my prince. Hurry to the aid of this poor, dainty girl!

(Yawwwnnn...) Ehehehe...

No way I'm...gonna bail on...my sold-out...stadium concert...right before showtime.

...She's actually drooling...