1st Area: Race Highlights

Now, while events are yet in their infancy, I have already arrived at one certain, undeniable conclusion.

To wit: seed apples do not, in truth, exist. Ergo: that catgirl is merely bluffing. QED.

Therefore we would be best served by proceeding ahead without concern! Nothing could be simpler!

Go on, Fran! Feel free to put the pedal to the metal and express how much you love your helpful Papa!

I don't really love you, Papa! Full steam ahead!

...Am I mistaken, or did she just say something tremendously hurtful? Please tell me I misheard her?

...Answer not found. I couldn't hear her over the sound of my lovely steam whistle. Full speed ahead!

I love summeeer!

Hmm. Well, my daughter certainly seems happy, so I shall call it a win! I am nothing if not a master of rationalization!

I agree, we don't need to worry about their crops! Let's pick up the pace!

You got it! DC/AC power...full charge!

If ever there was a time to take advantage of our rocket, it seems like it would be now.

I doubt we'll be found out now that we've come this far. I'll just retract our tires and try cruising at low altitu

Danger! Emergency evasive action! Ishtar's trying to snipe us! Get those tires back out! Hurry!

Wahahahaha, this is quite the spin we're going on! Totally rock 'n' roll! Go on, ramming speed!

Hehe, what an unfortunate accident! It's a reeeal shame, but these things happen! Just you wait, Saberfaces! I'm coming for you!

Umu! It's wonderful to have such earnest rivals as this. All of their brakes are shot to hell!

Well, I am not about to be left behind! Onward, let's leave a trail of roses as we weave our way through the skirmish! We shall be the ones on top when this ends!

Seed apples... Those sound nice. Their name reminds me of apple pie. But...I will still not show them an ounce of mercy! After all...

I do not know how to cook! I only have use for pies that have already been baked! If these seed apples have any sense, they shall be reborn as seed apple pies!

...This won't do at all.

While combatants may run roughshod over an orchard in battle often enough, this is still a transgression I cannot overlook!

I forbid it! This is unacceptable! If any here is the sort of delinquent who would violate public decency as easily as they would trample a campus flower bed...

...know that I, Minamoto-no-Raikou, will never let you get away with it!

But won't it only damage the ground more if we go after them with horses?

I'm sure the Buddha wouldn't approve of wasting food...but oh well.

Indra has clearly smiled upon her, so if she's this unconcerned about the orchard...

...that must mean the Buddha is A-OK with it!

We should soon be in the zone where these seed apples are supposedly planted.

...It certainly is a dilemma, isn't it.

If we trample the orchard, I could be seen to be ignoring starving commoners, which isn't a good look for any ruler.

I'm not at all afraid of that huntress's arrows, but anything that would lower the pharaohs' reputation is cause for concern.

Shall we take a detour around the area then?

Don't be ridiculous! A true pharaoh wouldn't take a detour! Especially not when we're already behind!

(Sigh) Then what DO you want to do?

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Hmm... Hmmmm...

...

(I wonder if it is easier for her to think under that outfit, in much the same manner as how some people feel more at ease in narrow spaces.)

Hmm... What would Cleopatra or Pharaoh Ozymandias do if they were here? Hmm... (Gasp)

I see it now! If Pharaoh Ozymandias were here, I'm sure this is what he would say...

Hahahaha! A foolish question! If these seeds are hearty and strong, then they should welcome my noble footsteps!

And if they are so impertinent as to die from my trodding upon them, then they did not deserve to remain alive!

In other words...either outcome is acceptable! Now go forth, and pay them no heed!

...What an inspiration he is! Yes, great pharaoh! I shall follow your example!

...Um, Nitocris, I'm not so sure this man you admire is, well

Come on, we don't have any time to waste! Onward!

(...She seems to have profound concerns of her own. I can relate to how fragile her happiness is.)

Phew. All that said... Even if this is the only choice available to me as a pharaoh...

...I do hope I don't end up killing any of these seeds.

I also used to be a king, however briefly, so I understand how important orchards like these are to

...?

Um, is it just me, or do we seem to be unusually high off the ground?

And is it my imagination, or are we also moving more slowly?

Yes, we are. We are using one of The Pharaoh Legend's hidden forms: Walker Mode.

W-Walker Mode!? I didn't know we had anything like that!

In this mode, the Legend extends six legs normally hidden in the undercarriage and transforms into a scarab form...

...then is able to move very carefully by placing the small tips of each leg down one at a time. Like so.

I-it's very shaky... and it feels like...we're barely...moving!

There is nothing we can do about that. This is one of the Legend's safety features. Its scarab legs touch very little of the ground at a time...

...when it sensed that you did not want to step on the seeds, it transformed automatically in order to avoid doing so.

This system was originally designed to prevent us from dying to land mines.

I never expected it to activate in order to avoid stepping on seeds planted in the ground.

Why...did you...install this!?

What do you mean? I asked you while I was putting this vehicle together if it was all right for me to install a bare minimum of safety features.

Okay...I remember...that! But how does THIS...qualify as a bare minimum...feature!? ...Ow, my butt!

I'm afraid you'll just have to deal with it. This mode is designed first and foremost to avoid stepping on dangerous objects. Speed and comfort are secondary concerns.

Oh man, we're the only ones still here. All the other teams are already way ahead of us...

And at this piddling speed...we'll never catch up to them!

This race was supposed to demonstrate the glory of the pharaohs. I've already failed to do that, and the race is only just beginning!

If Pharaoh Ozymandias were watching this, I'm sure he'd be extremely upset about

Hm? Something just exploded up ahead!

Oh gosh, oh gosh! Is Pharaoh Ozymandias already firing at us from Mesektet!?

I-I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! I know I'm a failure as a pharaoh!

No, nobody is firing at us, Nitocris. Look, over there!

...!

Wh-what the...? The ground beneath us just EXPLODED. And these flames... They remind me of Honnoji. (Slump)

S-some cowardly Saber must have done this... I swear...I'll make her...pay. (Slump)

Pitiful.

I planted land mines in front of our seed apples, the symbol of our tomorrow, in order to keep them safe.

!?

It seems that everyone who went ahead of us has been blown up.

I believe we avoided a similar fate thanks to Legend's Walker Mode.

Now do you understand, intruders? There is nothing I will not do, no matter how despicable or depraved, to keep my children safe!

Incidentally, I purchased these land mines from a passing demon. They are guaranteed to be effective even against Servants.

Okay, but...considering how big their explosions were...

Haven't they also just blown up all the seed apples you planted here too?

...

...Cursed intruders! Our hopes for tomorrow have been dashed thanks to your meddling!

If only you had never come here...my children would still be smiling.

(Wide grin with missing teeth)

They still seem to be smiling, though...

Silence! I will endure your atrocities no longer! You shall pay for what you have done!

Well that complicates matters. Still...now that all the other teams are out of commission, this is our chance to pull ahead!

Restore The Pharaoh Legend to Driving Mode! First we'll shake her off, then we'll take first place!

I will do as you say, since we'll be a sitting duck otherwise...but I'm afraid we cannot shake her off.

She is easily keeping pace with us on foot!

Did you truly think you could escape me!?

My name is synonymous with racing, and racing with my name! Unlike you weaklings, I have no need for a vehicle!

Damn... Looks like we have no choice but to fight our way out of this.

But once we beat her, our victory here is all but assured. Let's go!

O-our future... Our future is...gone.

Now that we've reached an understanding, I think we'll be on our way.

...Wait. There is one last thing I wish to say.

...What is it?

I did my best to play the role I was given...but I suppose expecting you all to buy that the mohawked men were my children was asking a bit much after all?

Role...? Who could have given her a role to play? Is there someone else ruling this Singularity?

Perhaps? I'm afraid I do not know.

Ah well, that hardly matters any longer! The important thing is that no one's holding us back anymore.

Let's head for the checkpoint and enjoy some well-earned admiration along the way!

...Why are we back in Walker Mode!?

It is precisely when one lets down their guard after feeling secure in their victory that accidents are most likely to occur. We must not fall into that trap.

After all, if we were to get careless and drive over a leftover land mine...we would still end up dead.

Oh no! I hear the sound of engines coming up behind us!

The other teams must have recovered. At this rate, they'll catch up to us in no time!

Hurry up and get us out of this mode! Now!